Flash Movie Review: Machete Kills
Tucked in the middle of the block between several small storefronts was a small independent movie theater. It was only 4 blocks away from where I grew up. I found my love of movies in this little theater with its freshly popped popcorn and assorted candies, that sat in a glass case that was partially held together with thick black tape. There was a period of time where I could be found every Saturday afternoon at the theater’s matinee showing. I had no understanding of what it meant to be a “B” movie back then, but I was exposed to all types of feature films. From killer robots to dogs saving their masters to family road trips in a long trailer; I loved every one of those movies. Looking back at those films, today they would be considered campy. They bring a nostalgic, fun flair from a different time to mind. In this action thriller sequel, writer and director Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Once Upon a Time in Mexico) was looking to create the look and feel of a classic “B” movie. Danny Trejo (Heat, From Dusk till Dawn) reprised his role as the unstoppable Machete. In this installment the President of the United States enlisted the help of Machete to take down an arms dealer who was determined to destroy life on this planet as we knew it. With the help of Miss San Antonio, played by Amber Heard (Zombieland, Pineapple Express), Machete would first have to cut through an assortment of villains hell-bent on killing him. The fun part in watching this bloody crime film was seeing the variety of celebrities who agreed to take part in the cheesy story. For example there was Sofia Vergara (Four Brothers, Modern Family-TV) as machine gun packing Desdemona and musical artist Lady Gaga as the ever changing La Camaleon. Where I enjoyed the first film, even with all of its blood, violence and fresh campy quality; this movie took its uniqueness and beat you over the head with it. All it seemed to do was replay the same joke over and over, only with different characters. After a short while I did not find it funny anymore or very creative; I became bored with the nonsense. There is nothing wrong in making a parody of a genre of movies; but the idea needed to be expanded upon. In the case of this film trying to be a “B” movie, the “B” stood for bad. There was a flood of blood and violence throughout the film. If you see this movie, stay through the credits.
1 3/4 stars