Flash Movie Review: The D Train

A funny thing happened to me when I went to see this movie. There was a smattering of people seated in their seats as I walked into the theater. I immediately saw there was a couple sitting in one of my preferred seats. A seat on the aisle that is 1/4 to 1/3 up the rows of seats is my favorite spot to watch a film. As I started walking up the stairs to find a seat, I saw the woman sitting in what should have been my seat staring at me. I made eye contact, looked away, then looked back to see she was still staring at me with a puzzled look on her face. Due to the subdued lighting I could not make out her facial features until I was closer to her. Once I saw her face an image appeared in my mind of a little girl who went to elementary school with me who used to wear a satin ribbon tied in the back of her hair; they both had the same face. I spoke the little girl’s name to the woman in the seat and she spoke mine, saying she would not have recognized me if it was not for my photo on my movie review site. We had not seen each other since high school, having gone through elementary school together. What a coincidence that we bumped into each other after all these years at a theater that was about to show a film about a class reunion.    JACK Black (School of Rock, Bernie) played Dan Landsman who was the head of his high school class reunion committee. When by chance he saw his former classmate Oliver Lawless, played by James Marsden (X-Men franchise, Enchanted), in a suntan lotion commercial on television, Dan became obsessed in getting the actor to come to the class reunion. If he could deliver the actor Dan was sure he would finally be considered one of the cool kids. There were some good themes underlying the story in this picture, but the implementation of them was awful. The writers took the ideas to such an extreme that I found many things not believable and frankly ridiculous. Kathryn Hahn (We’re the Millers, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty) as Stacey Landsman and Jeffrey Tambor (The Hangover franchise, Arrested Development-TV) as Bill Shurmur were wasted in this movie. I felt Jack Black offered nothing new, just doing his usual schtick. The only one I believed in was James’ character. After the movie was done my former classmate came up to me to tell me how uncomfortable the two of them were watching this film. I agreed with them wholeheartedly. To get the horrible scenes I had suffered through out of my mind, I sat and reminisced about our time back in elementary school.

 

1 1/3 stars

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About moviejoltz

From a long line of movie afficionados, one brother was the #1 renter of movies in the country with Blockbuster, I am following in the same traditions that came before me. To balance out the long hours seated in dark movie theaters, I also teach yoga and cycling. For the past 3 years, I have correctly picked the major Oscar winners... so join me as we explore the wonder of movies and search for that perfect 4 star movie.

Posted on May 12, 2015, in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I just went to see this movie today and could not agree more. It was awful. The only positive thing I could say about this whole film is Marsden looked wonderful. I don’t even think I will bother with a review myself so kudos to you for writing one!

    • I guess I was a day late from saving you the pain I suffered. lol So glad we are in synch on this one; I just want to know what they were thinking when they did this mess. Thanks for the comments.

      • yeah I will say..I do like it better when you take the hits on the bad ones & I catch it in time hahahaha..this was painful & you were kind in giving it ANY stars whatsoever as it would have been an straight ‘F’ for ‘Falied’ if I bothered to even do a review.. 😀

      • I am honored to take the hit for you in regards to these awful films.

  2. I will avoid this film as much as I’ve avoided school reunions. Thanks for the warning.

  3. I am happy for you to have a reunion with a former classmate that wasn’t as awful as the film!

  4. The theme itself is good, but the film is truly awful – unless people watching it just for fun and eating popcorn. It is nothing of a serious matter. lol

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