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Flash Movie Review: The Transporter Refueled

Once I was able to sit in it I would imagine what my life would be like if I had one. The new leather smell, the fancy dials; everything about the automobile on display represented a different world from my own. Walking through the annual car show always gave me the opportunity to dream because the only cars I knew in my young life were 4-door sedans. When my friends and I started turning 16 years old, all some of us would talk about is when we would be getting our own car. The first auto was typically a beat up used one; mine cost $500.00 that came with a houndstooth interior and dark green exterior. It was interesting to see who in the school made it their priority to personalize their auto, so it would stand out from everyone else’s car. There were some that got a funky paint job where others would attach these chrome plated things that looked like they were misplaced jigsaw puzzle pieces. Some people turned their cars into an extension of their life; I still see some who get a new car every year. For me my car essentially is a means to get from point A to point B; however, I do like to feel comfortable in the seat. Believe it or not my only priority is a rear window defroster, which I think is standard. I look at the variety of bells and whistles offered on cars these days and all I can think about is that it will be something else that just breaks. Despite that, I do not think I would turn down the automobile in this action thriller if it was offered to me.    FRANK Martin, played by Ed Skrein (The Sweeney, Ill Manors), found his niche as the transporter who asked no questions. That would change however when a couple of his packages were able to talk to him. This reboot of the franchise had an updated auto which was one of the best parts of the film. The acting was atrocious except for one character I did not mind; it was Frank’s father played by Ray Stevenson (Big Game, Divergent franchise). I found the script silly where some parts did not even make sense to me. Even the action scenes were pretty bland compared to other movies’ car chase scenes I have seen recently. It was surprising to me how many times I kept looking at my watch, wishing the film would end. As far as I could tell there really was no reason to bring this franchise back to the screen, especially without Jason Stratham. All I kept thinking about during the movie is wishing I was home watching KITT in the old television show Knight Rider; I would take that car any day over this film.


1 1/3 stars




Flash Movie Review: Furious 7

It is not always an easy adjustment going from purchasing fun things to practical ones. When I was a little kid I used to wish for a flying car like the ones I would see on my Saturday morning cartoon shows. Instead we always had a four door sedan. When I could buy my own cars; I went for the smaller ones with stick shifts that made the cars take off real fast. I enjoyed the way my cars would hug the curb, barely slowing down into the turn as the engine roared. As I got older I started to notice how my friends and I were getting out of the car; turning our bodies sideways so we could get our feet out on the ground before leaning way over to lift ourselves out of the deep seats. Every day sitting in rush hour traffic took a toll on my fondness for not having an automatic transmission. The thing that pushed me away from having a small car was my alley in wintertime. Whenever there was a heavy snowfall my car would get stuck in the snow because it was so low to the ground. It was frustrating since I had to spend time shoveling the car out just to get it freed and back into the garage. So I went from a sports car to a small SUV; but now, I have seen cars that can fly.    SETTLING into domestic life was supposed to be easy compared to what the group of friends had encountered previously in their lives. They were being targeted by Deckard Shaw, played by Jason Statham (Homefront, The Expendables franchise), the brother of a drug dealer the friends had taken out. Dominic Toretto and Brian O’Conner, played by Vin Diesel (The Pacifier, Boiler Room) and Paul Walker (Brick Mansions, Eight Below), with the rest of their friends would have to take one last ride to try and save their lives. This action thriller had its work cut out for it since the previous film in the franchise had many high octane action scenes. The driving stunts in this movie were unbelievable; one needs to check their common sense at the door however before viewing them. I felt the stunts were thought of first before the writers decided what would happen in the rest of the scene. Except for a few slow parts, action was the main character of this crime film. I have to say it was a bit sad seeing Paul Walker, knowing he had died in a car accident not related to this movie. However, there was a touching tribute to him in this picture. As long as you realize you have to suspend logic and common sense before sitting through this movie, you will be taken on one heck of a ride. Now I just want one of those flying cars.


3 stars

Flash Movie Review: Fast Five

Something happened to me when I was in South Dakota. Driving on roads that stretched all the way to the horizon, with no speed limits; I transformed into a race car driver. At 103 mph it felt like I was flying, giving me a rush I had never experienced before in my life. When I returned home, my driving was forever altered. As long as there was no one else in the car, I took the posted speed limit signs to be mere suggestions. The faster I could drive, the more exciting it was for me. This movie was strictly an adrenaline rush. I felt like someone slapped a testosterone patch on me; I wanted to get behind the wheel of one of the cars in this thriller of a movie. I did not remember the movies that came before this installment and it did not matter. The story was written to allow maximum driving time. Vin Diesel (The Chronicles of Riddick, xXx) was given a minimum vocabulary for his role as Dominic Toretto. Having been broken out from a prison transport bus, Dominic and his group got involved in a car heist that went wrong, down in Brazil. Not only did the group have to battle corrupt crime boss Hernan Reyes, played by Joaquim de Almeida (Behind Enemy Lines, The Conspiracy); but they were also being pursued by federal agent Luke Hobbs, played by Dwayne Johnson (Tooth Fairy, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island). The acting was minimal; this film was made for crashes, bloody fights and speed. Knowing that ahead of time, just fasten your seat belts and enjoy the ride for it was damn good.


3 stars — DVD

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