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Flash Movie Review: The Family
I hope I never see a family member’s name in the news because of a crime they committed. There have been so many stories I have heard about other families’ problems that I have been grateful no one I know has made the news among my relatives. One of the craziest stories involved a member in one of my aerobic classes many years ago. This member with a quick wit always stood in the front row. With an excellent ear for rhythm he did every move perfectly. Since I always faced my classes it was easy for me to see how the female members were checking him out. Just before the holiday season he disappeared for a few weeks; members were coming up to me and asking if I knew what happened to him. All of us soon got our answer in the city’s newspapers: He was arrested and charged for the murder of his roommate. She was found stabbed in the trunk of her car that was left abandoned at the airport’s parking garage. Though this was a horrific story it reaffirmed my belief in never judging a book by its cover. This action comedy movie’s story was about Giovanni Manzoni, played by Robert De Niro (Silver Linings Playbook, The Big Wedding) and his family who had to be sent into the witness protection program when he turned in evidence on his Mafia associates. Given the new identity of Fred Blake, Giovanni was sent with his wife Maggie and their two children Belle and Warren; played by Michelle Pfeiffer (Dark Shadows, Stardust), Dianna Agron (I Am Number Four, Glee-TV) and John D’Leo (The Wrestler, Wanderlust), to a small town in France. Under the watchful eye of special agent Robert Stansfield, played by Tommy Lee Jones (Lincoln, Hope Springs); the family was instructed to blend in. However, it would not be an easy task for the Brooklyn mobster and his family to let go of their old habits. Sadly the witness protection program could not hide what was supposed to be the humorous elements I saw coming from a mile away. The acting from Robert and Michelle was not good; they simply reprised one of their old movie characters. Tommy Lee was underwhelming but it was due to the script; it was fractured into distinct segments that never came together to make a seamless story. This film tried to convince me it was an original crime caper comedy but I was not buying it. A couple of brief scenes had blood.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Closed Circuit
It seems more so now than ever, higher profile crime stories are being reported in two versions. The first one covers the obvious details such as location, subject description and approximate time. After the crime scene has been secured and evidence collected, the public gets a second report that shares some of the classified details on how the crime was solved. With the advances in technology it appears to me the stories are getting more high tech. Now I am sure some details never get released to the public which may be part of the reason people are more skeptical, when it comes to news stories. Either way I find the high tech reports to be fascinating. If you feel the same way and like a good crime story then this movie is something you would enjoy. When a bomb exploded in a crowded marketplace, injuring and killing civilians; London authorities assembled an investigative legal team to uncover the motives, in preparation for a criminal trial. Part of the team included former lovers Martin Rose and Claudia Simmons-Howe, played by Eric Bana (Munich, The Time-Traveler’s Wife) and Rebecca Hall (Iron Man 3, The Town). Due to their past history together, they could possibly jeopardize the investigation as the trail of clues took them to unexpected places. I enjoyed this crime mystery film because it provided a stimulating rush to the mind instead of the ears and eyes. Without the use of special effects, the movie relied on dialog to tell the story, providing a stylish look in my opinion. The way the clues were uncovered meant I had to keep up and pay attention, staying engaged throughout the film. I thought the entire cast did an excellent job though I did feel the chemistry was lacking between Eric and Rebecca. Jim Broadbent (The Iron Lady, Cloud Atlas) was interesting as the Attorney General as Riz Ahmed (The Reluctant Fundamentalist, Four Lions) was, playing Nazaul Shama. As the movie progressed it started to confuse me. I do not know if it seemed more improbable, but I found it harder to follow. On the other hand as I was driving home from the theater I did wonder how much truth was there to some of the scenes I had just witnessed. A brief scene that showed blood.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Getaway
It starts with the smell as the door is opened. The only thing I can think of is the odor comes across as if it is organic. With untouched upholstery, there is nothing like getting into a brand new car. When I traded in my old automobile for a new one; it had been so long, I almost forgot about that new car aroma. My first week driving around; I considered keeping a pair of slippers in the car, so the floorboard would keep that pristine, unblemished look. In the second month of ownership, the car looked as new as the day I drove it home from the dealership. I remembered the day was a Saturday and I was parked in front of the post office. Returning to my vehicle, I opened the door and settled into the driver’s seat that always felt like it was hugging me. As I leaned over to store my purchased stamps in the glove compartment, the car suddenly jerked back with a bang. Popping my head up above the dashboard I saw the car parked in front of me pull into traffic and drive away. I quickly jumped out of the car to see what kind of damage had been done. Close to the center the bumper was creased as if something had tried to fold it. The once shiny red paint now had white flakes scattered across it like dandruff. My driver side fog lamp was strewn in pieces on the ground. In that single moment all the joy I got from my new car vanished; I would forever be driving an old auto now. Do not worry, I did catch up to that driver and made him pull over so I could call the police; but the damage had been done. These same negative feelings quickly returned to me as I sat and watched this wreck of an action movie. Ethan Hawke (Before Midnight, The Purge) played former race car driver Brent Magra. When his wife Leanne, played by Rebecca Budig (Guiding Light-TV, All My Children-TV), was kidnapped; Brent was forced to follow the kidnapper’s commands, going on a high speed race against the clock to save his wife. Joining him would be The Kid, played by Selena Gomez (Spring Breakers, Ramona and Beezus). At first glance I thought Smurfette had taken human form as Selena. Hearing her swear was just wrong and her tough talk was laughable. The story made no sense, the car chases looked like they were one scene that was spliced into a continuous loop and it was boring. Trying to find something positive to say about this movie, I enjoyed the story’s locale. I am afraid an emergency road crew could not help this poorly made crime film. If you are looking for some excitement you would be better off going to an auto dearlership and test drive a new vehicle.
1 1/5 stars
Flash Movie Review: Kick-Ass 2
They walk together in pairs or groups, wearing dark berets upon their heads. I have only seen them a couple of times since they made their presence known in my city. Consisting of volunteers, they are a group of people who hope by being seen they can provide a layer of safety for residents and visitors. I understand and appreciate any non-judgemental person who wants to make their place a safer one. The same goes for people in any type of work that benefits humanity; I am in awe of their desire and dedication to help people feel better. This was one of the reasons the first Kick-Ass movie did so well. Where that movie focused on a couple of ordinary people portraying themselves as superheroes, without the super powers; this action comedy delved into the aftermath of being a hero. Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Savages, The Illusionist) once again played Dave Lizewski/Kick-Ass. Inspired by the birth of ordinary citizens donning costumes to fight crime, Dave sought out Mindy Macready/Hit-Girl, played by Chloe Grace Moretz (Hugo, Let Me In), to join him and form a crime fighting duo. Little did they know at the same time Chris D’Amico/Red Mist, played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad, Role Models), was reinventing himself to become the world’s first super villain. Part of his mission was to get revenge on Kick-Ass for killing his father. Sadly I cannot tell you what name Red Mist chose for his evil persona, because if I were to put it in print I would be slapped with an obscenity charge. Things were not any better with the story; I found parts of it were mean-spirited. Where the first film was fun and hopeful, this one was vulgar and boring. I cannot believe I am going to say this but the best part of the movie was Jim Carrey (The Truman Show, In Living Color-TV) playing Colonel Stars and Stripes. He brought life to his character. Hit-Girl’s fight scenes were the only other part I enjoyed in this dreadful dud. There was such a good opportunity here to extend the first film’s story and make a decent sequel, with the same endearing characters. Instead they grew up and turned into less interesting people. I have to blame this on the writers. A couple of brief scenes had blood in them.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: We’re the Millers
Have you ever been introduced to someone and a red flag went off in your head that something was just not right? It happens to me periodically. When a close friend introduced a friend of hers to me, my radar went off when he told me he had heard I was a fitness instructor and he was one also. Asking him what type of classes and where he taught, his answers were vague. I started to get the feeling he was not telling me the truth and wondered if he was being honest with my friend, who was interested in him romantically. When she later asked me for my opinion I was honest with her and told her to be careful. It turned out this guy constantly lied to her, so any romantic seeds she had were quickly killed. People withhold the truth or lie for many reasons, just look at the cast in this movie. More than likely you will be glad they were fibbing because you will be laughing at them. Jason Sudeikis (The Campaign, Hall Pass) played drug dealer David Clark. Forced to take a job smuggling marijuana across the border from Mexico, David came up with a plan to turn himself into an RV driving dad on a road trip. Jason’s style of sarcastic humor played well with his role in this comedy. With Jennifer Aniston (Wanderlust, Horrible Bosses) playing Rose O’Reilly as his fake wife, there was Emma Roberts (Wild Child, Nancy Drew) and Will Poulter (Son of Rambow, Wild Bill) as Casey Mathis and Kenny Rossmore, the couple’s pretend children. The four of them created a workable and funny family to watch. I found the script did not provide any surprises; it was easy to see where scenes would go. However, there were parts where I laughed out loud. At a couple of points the story steered towards sentimental drama, but kept things light and brief before retreating back to the humor of the situation. I was concerned the trailers were showing the best parts of this movie; however, it turned out this comedy of crime was good for some easy laughs. Strong language was used throughout the film and a brief scene had a glimpse of blood in it.
2 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: 2 Guns
Have you ever noticed how similar one’s work environment can be to their home life? Considering the amount of time spent at work, it is not surprising that some people form a family with their fellow employees. In my work history I have had to work with a variety of characters. There was the one employee who acted like everyone’s uncle, always coming by to check on you and see how your day was going. I used to work with someone who acted like he was our older sibling; telling us what we should and should not do whether it had to do with our work or in our personal lives. Then there are those employees who are like the sisters I never had; where we are able to gain knowledge by our different perspectives on any issues that would come up. Like any family, the work family can be or not be dysfunctional. The main draw for this action comedy was the chemistry between Denzel Washington (Man on Fire, Unstoppable) and Mark Wahlberg (The Fighter, Ted) as criminals Robert “Bobby” Trench and Michael “Stig” Stigman. Using each other to help pull off a bank robbery, the two were not so dissimilar to two brothers fighting. When the bank heist did not go as planned, they had to form an uneasy partnership to find out who set them up. For this role I actually felt Mark’s limited acting range worked to his advantage. HIs character was a wise cracking, show-off while Denzel played the older smooth talking, reserved type. The contrasts worked and I enjoyed the banter between the two. However, it became too much after a while and lost some of its edge. I was confused with the story by the twists of who were the good and bad guys. Among those included in the cast were Edward James Olmos (Miami Vice, Stand and Deliver) as drug cartel kingpin Papi Greco, James Marsden (Enchanted, Hairspray) as naval intelligence officer Quince and Bill Paxton (Twister, Apollo 13) as special agent Earl. It seemed as if James and Bill enjoyed playing their characters. There were a few exciting fights and chases, with an adequate amount of explosions in this crime thriller. For a summer movie this one was okay; but it was like spending time with a dysfunctional relative, you just wanted to keep it to a short visit. There were multiple scenes that had blood and violence.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: R.I.P.D.
It is not healthy for me to ignore my cravings. If it involves a particular food, I know if I do not satisfy my yearning, I will only wind up eating other things that will not be gratifying to me. What would make the situation worse is if I could not find the right item; I am sure this has happened to many of you. That urge, let us say, for a chocolate chip cookie; where your mind races to figure out the fastest way you can get one of those decadent, lovely circular mounds of soft moist dough that have accepted the requests from those deep rich chocolate chips to come settle down and plant roots on their pliable land–aahhhh. Imagine how it feels when you finally find a place that sells these cookies, buy one and on your first bite your taste buds are assaulted by a dry, unsweetened, hard pice of crumbling sawdust. You were taken in by a horrible imposter. Well, that is the same feeling I had watching this poor excuse for a science fiction/fantasy film. Recently slain police officer Nick, played by Ryan Reynolds (Safe House, Just Friends) found himself sitting in front of Proctor, played by Mary-Louise Parker (Red franchise, Solitary Man), the Unhuman Resources Manager for the Rest In Peace Department. Being given the option to go back to Earth, Nick agreed to join the force so he could find his killer. Accompanying him was veteran officer Roy, played by Jeff Bridges (True Grit, Crazy Heart). The story was a cut and paste job that took parts from Men in Black, Ghost and Ghost Busters. Unfortunately the writers did nothing to enhance or update the stories; so, I am at a loss to understand why they bothered with this movie. There was such a great opportunity to inject humor into this film; if only the writers had played up the human forms of NIck and Roy. Those alive would see Roy as a young, voluptuous blonde-haired woman and Nick as an elderly Asian man. It would have been funny to see more of these two characters in the crazy stunts that happened to them. The special effects were fine and I was so surprised to see Kevin Bacon (Mystic River, Sleepers) in the movie as Hayes. He was not in any of the trailers I had seen. Maybe the whole purpose of the film was so Jeff and Ryan could be added into the trail of seven degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon. After sitting through this film I came home and popped a DVD in of a good science fiction movie to watch and satisfy my craving.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Red 2
There is an easy camaraderie created when a group of people have a singular purpose. Whether one is an employee, volunteer or teammate; when personalities blend together a relationship is formed of shared experiences. When I have done volunteer work I notice there tends to be a quick connection made between all the volunteers. The same happens when new fitness instructors come on board at the health clubs, where I teach. An added benefit to these types of connections is the ability to have fun. Yes, even at one’s place of employment there can be times of fun when everyone is supportive of their fellow employees. Well okay, let us say at least bearable. This sense of fun is what I appreciated most about this action comedy. It was obvious the actors were enjoying both their roles and each other in this sequel. Joining Bruce Willis (Looper, Moonrise Kingdom) as Frank, John Malkovich (Burn After Reading, Dangerous Liaisons) as Marvin, Helen Mirren (The Debt, Hitchcock) as Victoria and Mary-Louise Parker (R.I.P.D., Weeds-TV) as Sarah were Catherine Zeta-Jones (Chicago, The Terminal) as Russian agent Katja and Anthony Hopkins (Thor, Hitchcock) as mad scientist Bailey. The story was far-fetched about Frank and the team trying to retrieve a megaton explosive device that was smuggled into Moscow during the cold war. Being a fan of Helen, I got a kick out of her role being more physical this time. The script was uneven where some lines were humorous while others fell flat. Bruce has been doing the same type of character for so long, he tended to be a bit cartoonish for me. In the case of John; since I have seen him perform live on stage and know what he is capable of doing, I thought he was excellent in his role. Anthony was exceptionally good with his character. This was not the type of movie where one needed to think much; there was nothing deep about it. Honestly, I think the success of the first movie gave these actors the opportunity to hang out again and share some good times, while filming took place all over the world.
2 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Despicable Me 2
The magic of cartoons is their ability to turn something real into the unreal. They can take a current topic and provide a different spin on it or turn it into a satire. Cartoon characters can be beaten and hurt multiple times, yet still come back for more, while providing us with a good laugh. And then there is the use of color and design; everyday items can suddenly defy gravity and physics in their twisted, illogical shapes and hues. I was raised on the classic Looney Tunes cartoons from Warner Bros. The foundation to any cartoon is a solid story and Looney Tunes was brilliant in their ability to play with a story. In this animated sequel I felt the story was disappointingly weak. Steve Carell (Hope Springs, Date Night) was back again, this time as Gru the family man to the three orphaned girls. Gone was Gru’s nastiness, though I thought Steve still did an excellent job voicing the character. New to the cast was Kristen Wiig (Bridesmaids, Friends with Kids) as agent Lucy and Benjamin Bratt (Miss Congeniality, Catwoman) as club owner Edwardo. The story this time had Gru being recruited by the Anti-Villain League to track down a new super criminal. On the plus side the Minions were back and offered some fun gags. However, the issue I had with this movie concerned the lazy writing. I mean come on, did we really need to try and mine humor out of flatulence? It was just an easy way to piece the story together. Where some of this year’s recent animated movies entertained both children and adults; I think younger kids would like this comedy more than adults. Another issue I had with the movie was its predictability. Cartoons should be able to offer at least a surprise or two for the viewer; I did not find anything close to being shocking. Instead of creating magic with Gru and the girls, it seemed the studio was looking to make a quick buck; some magic act.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Heat
The concept of opposites attracting was something I first learned from my science class in elementary school. It was not until I started dating where I learned how the laws of attraction applied to life. In one of my early relationships the two of us saw things completely opposite. From a room being hot or cold to a restaurant’s meal being awful or great; we rarely agreed on the same thing and I have to tell you it was hard. However, it was not until later that I learned a valuable lesson; to be able to look at something from the other person’s perspective. It was one of the best gifts I gained from that relationship and I still appreciate it to this day. The law of opposites attracting was used for comedic results in this funny movie. Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side, The Proposal) played uptight FBI special agent Sarah Ashburn. On assignment in Boston; Sarah encountered the territorial, foul-mouthed Boston cop Shannon Mullins, played by Melissa McCarthy (Identity Thief, Bridesmaids). By not being able to see through the other person’s eyes, the two women had a good chance of never solving the case. The story was not original in the least; however, it might have been due to the focus on the actors’ comic abilities. I have always said Melissa has impeccable comedic timing and she used it in full force for this film. Keep in mind the language is extremely foul and abundant. Sandra made a valiant effort to keep up with Melissa, but it fell slightly short. I wished the writers would have given more to Jane Curtin (Coneheads, Kate & Allie-TV) as Mrs. Mullins; she was completely underutilized. The main force of this movie was the comedy. I laughed out loud several times, even when the scenes were somewhat inappropriate. As a side note I am a stickler about movie trailers, since they are a form of advertising. A couple of scenes from the trailers were not the same as the movie. This film was light entertainment for a refresher course on the laws of attraction. Strong language was used throughout the film.
2 2/3 stars
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