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Flash Movie Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Deep in the recesses of your mind, unbeknownst to you, is a fond memory from your childhood. No matter what kind of early life was experienced, there usually is at least one thing you recall fondly. The trigger that ignites this memory could easily be one of the most innocuous things on the planet. When you encounter this catalyst the deeply embedded memory rises to the surface of your mind like a deep sea diving bell. This recently happened to me when I saw an old-fashioned candy called Dots in a 3 year old’s hand. The sweet treat has multicolored hard drops of candy stuck on a strip of paper that looks like it belongs in a cash register. One could remove each candy piece with their fingertips; but if one wanted to be real cool, they would use their teeth to peel the candy off the strip of paper. As soon as I saw that candy the memory of the candy store where I always bought those Dots appeared at the edges of my eyes. A tiny place planted on the corner of the block, the shop owner was oversized with arms that gave the warmest hugs. I had forgotten how safe and happy I was whenever I was in her store; the memory flooded me with a sense of calm, joyful peacefulness. JUST as I relived that memory so will many of you experience a past time in your life when you see this reboot of the warrior turtles. With New York City under siege by sinister forces, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were forced above ground in what would be the ultimate test for all of their past training. This action adventure had modern CGI technology working in its favor. The chases and fights were tight and big. Starring Megan Fox (Transformers franchise, Jennifer’s Body) as April O’Neil and Will Arnett (When in Rome, Arrested Development-TV) as Vernon Fenwick, this was where this comedy film quickly deteriorated. Besides being annoying the script was filled with lame jokes and references. The story was at a television cartoon level and though I did not necessarily have an issue with it, after a short time I felt the scenes lacked any real excitement. If it was not for the fight scenes I would have been even more bored than I already was with this movie. I feel once viewers who remember the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles see this film they will discover their memories were better than these updated characters. For those who did not follow the Ninja Turtles, they may find this was a picture that will soon be forgotten.
2 stars