Author Archives: moviejoltz
Flash Movie Review: The Legend of Hercules
After viewing this action film I was curious to see what actors portrayed Hercules in past years. Looking at the movie titles and the actors that starred in them, I am afraid to say author Edith Hamilton would be distraught at the lack of respect we have given this mythical Greek hero. Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in Hercules in New York, Reg Park was in Hercules and the Captive Women besides Hercules in the Haunted World; even Lou Ferrigno played Hercules a couple of times before he became the Incredible Hulk. I was shocked to find Ryan Gosling did a turn as a young Hercules before his star power really came to light. For those of you who were too young to have seen these movies, chances are you are familiar with the television series starring Kevin Sorbo as the son of Zeus. I was curious why director Renny Harlin (Diehard 2, The Covenant) felt the need to helm this adventure fantasy. Kellan Lutz (Twilight franchise, Immortals) starred as Hercules, though he did not know about his true identity until later in the film. The story began in ancient Greece 1200 BC as we learn the reasons why Hercules was born to Queen Alcmene, played by Roxanne McKee (The Expelled, Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines) and then followed him as he grew up under the mistrustful eye of his stepfather King Amphitryon, played by Scott Adkins (Zero Dark Thirty, Assassination Games). Do you know how some of the worst foods for you taste the best? Well that is sort of the same idea I had about this schlock pop movie. It was so bad that it was like campy trash one would watch on a rainy day; sitting with a bag of potato chips, a tub of chip dip, a box of chocolate candy and a triple thick milkshake by one’s side. The acting was less about performance and more about being a cartoon character; it was so dull and corny with the ridiculous script. I have to assume the movie studio was looking to make a quick buck because the sets and special effects were beyond cheap looking. Wait until you see the lion; it looked like it was based on a squishy stuffed animal. Adding insult to injury, I saw this in a 3D theater that had issues with the film. For the first 20 minutes it was shown in 2D before the projectionist realized he was (I guess) supposed to flip a switch and make it 3D. No one in the theater even complained. I have to say once again Hollywood did Hercules wrong with this latest lowbrow movie.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Lone Survivor
Before the majority of the world became wired, broadcast news provided us with a recap of noteworthy events. We would see the aftermath to a variety of events that spanned from a car accident to an earthquake. Unless there was a personal connection to the story, most of us would not feel an emotional attachment to what was being shown. When broadcasters report about traffic jams on the highways I travel to get to work, it causes a reaction in me, albeit a negative one. I guess I should consider myself lucky that I have not had a personal connection to any traumatic news stories. The only thing I can recall is when I was at friend’s house back in the 70’s; everyone became quiet when there was news about Vietnam. My friend’s older brother was sent over there during the war and the family always listened for a familiar town or place they had heard about from him. When one has a personal reference to the news it has more of an impact. With movies based on true stories, having information being told from one of the real life characters creates an accessible emotional bond to the story. Based on his best selling book, I was acquainted with this story due to seeing news clips of Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell discussing his 2005 failed operation in Afghanistan. Mark Wahlberg (Pain & Gain, Boogie Nights) portrayed Marcus in this biographical film. The rest of the team sent out with Marcus to capture or eliminate a vicious Taliban leader was Michael Murphy, played by Taylor Kitsch (Savages, Friday Night Lights-TV); Danny Dietz, played by Emile Hirsch (Killer Joe, The Girl Next Door) and Matt “Axe” Axelson, played by Ben Foster (The Messenger, Contraband). This action drama was essentially split into 2 stories. The first half of the movie showed the Navy SEALs while stationed on base. The second half was all about the mission and this is where the intensity exploded open. I have seen war films before but the fight scenes in this intense section were bloody real looking and I do mean bloody. Some of them were handled a bit heavy by slowing down the motion. I cannot call this entertaining per se; however, for an action scene it seemed to be one long continuous fight. The acting was good, though I still have an issue with Mark Wahlberg’s acting. I never forget it is Mark playing a character. This story was amazing simply because there was an individual who lived to tell it. Many scenes had violence and blood in them.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Cold Turkey
There is a saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” that is used when one is referring to similar characteristics or personality traits between generations of family members. Examples of this could be your father was thrifty and you became thrifty. Another example would be you and your mother both being charitable individuals. I knew someone whose mother was over dramatic, just like one of those silent screen movie stars who used exaggerated gestures to convey their feelings. The more she complained about her mother the more I would have to quietly chuckle to myself because she was just like her mother; she just did not realize it. Everything she did had to be over the top, where it was either the hardest thing she had to do or it was the absolute best. There was no middle ground with her, only extremes. The ultimate example was at her wedding where her mother tried to outshine her by wearing a designer dress and a collection of jewelry that made one squint anytime you had to look at her. All I could wonder was whether my friend would continue this parental rivalry with her future children. In this comedic drama the Turner family came together for the holidays, bringing along their secrets and repressed feelings. Alicia Witt (Two Weeks Notice, 88 Minutes) played estranged daughter Nina, who had not seen her family in 15 years. Director and actor Peter Bogdanovich (Paper Moon, Queen of the Lot) played patriarch Poppy Turner, who had remarried and was living with his 2nd wife Deborah, played by Cheryl Hines (The Ugly Truth, Curb Your Enthusiasm-TV). Having seen a slew of movies that dealt with all kinds of family dynamics, I was curious to see how this story would be different. There was enough situations in place to create a minefield of emotional explosions, having Nina and her sister Lindsey, played by Sonya Walger (All the King’s Men, Lost-TV), being the children of the 1st wife and the half brother Jacob, played by Ashton Holmes (A History of Violence, Wind Chill), being the son of the 2nd wife. However, there was nothing in this film that had not been examined before. I thought the acting was awful and the script bland and generic; causing me to be bored most of the time. The exception was a couple of scenes that surprised me. If the characters in this movie mean something to the people who thought them up, then all I can say is the writers need to find a different family.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Terri
I never understood why adolescence needed to be a long process. It was such an awkward time as things started to change on me. I would hear my voice and wonder who was talking for me; the cracking noises coming out of my mouth sounded like a venetian blind covering an open window on a windy day. Due to an army of acne that started to invade my skin, setting up campsites on my face, I went to a dermatologist who told me to stop eating chocolate. I remember asking him why I now had to be miserable besides being upset over these stupid pimples. Then there were the names kids would call me. Besides making comments on my face; my hair that was already wavy took on a new persona and looked like the twisting thorny vines that tried to prevent the prince from saving Sleeping Beauty, became a new source for nasty remarks. I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up the following day being fully grown as an adult. As you may guess, I easily sympathized with the main teenager in this Sundance Film Festival nominated movie. Jacob Wysocki (Pitch Perfect) played 15 year old teenager Terri. Not knowing what happened to his parents, Terri was living with his uncle James, played by Creed Bratton (Mask, The Ghastly Love of Johnny X), who was beginning to show signs of dementia. After meeting with Principal Fitzgerald, played by John C. Reilly (The Aviator, Carnage), weekly meetings were set up so pajama clad Terri and Mr. Fitzgerald could check in with each other to see how the week was going. The strongest part of this comedic drama was the scenes that involved Terri and the principal. I thought Jacob and John did the best with their characters. The classroom scenes had enough teenage angst going on that I would think a majority of people could easily relate to them. This film was listed as a comedy and drama but I hardly found anything that I would consider funny; maybe humorous with touching moments. Possibly this had to do with me remembering what my high school years were like, but I could not get into portions of this movie. I felt the character of Terri’s uncle was never fully developed into the story. In a way I felt this film was in its adolescent phase, not fully grown into a complete picture.
2 1/3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Justin Bieber’s Believe
It was Beauty and the Beast that showed me to look beyond the surface of a person, all the way to their heart. From the film The Wizard of Oz I learned to question what was being presented before me, for some things are just a false reality. I learned there was a fine line between genius and madness from the movie Amadeus. As you can see cinema had a hand in what type of man I was to become as an adult. So when it comes to music documentaries, I cast a somewhat skeptical eye to what is being shown to me. Now I am not a musical fan of Justin Bieber and only know about him when he is being reported on in the news. This film focused on Justin’s Believe tour from inception to the ending concerts. Directed by John M. Chu (G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Step Up franchise), I found the movie to be a simple step by step process on how the tour was assembled. Since I am a fan of dance, I enjoyed the audition process that showed the dancers being vetted, picked and trained in the choreography. The use of actual concert footage was appreciated because it was a way to break up the film from becoming too long with all the interviews used of various people. I knew some of the individuals like Usher and Rodney Jerkins, but others such as manager and producer Scooter Braun were unknown to me. I do not feel I have to tell you that there was nothing shown to cast Justin in a negative light, though they did show film clips of his altercations with the paparazzi. As a documentary this movie really did not show anything new. It seemed like a tightly scripted marketing ploy to squeeze more profit out of the tour. Justin’s music does not do anything for me; however, I could certainly acknowledge the creative process to his music writing, besides the team behind the tour. If you are a Belieber (name Justin Bieber fans call themselves) then no matter what I say you probably saw this film already. For those curious, I would suggest you wait to see it on DVD. When I think of musical artists like the Beatles, who are still relevant 50 years later, will Justin have the same longevity? I cannot imagine; wait, now that was a good song.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
There are some movies where the story carries the characters, while others have the characters carry the story. Films such as The Wizard of Oz or Sink the Bismarck are story driven. Movies where the character makes the story would be something like The King’s Speech or Captain Phillips. I am especially fond of cinema where the character was an actual person. Though he was before my time, I was fascinated with the film The King’s Speech about King George VI. Learning about the character’s life in visual form created an extra layer of understanding from what I already learned in history books. Now when the main character is someone of my time, I feel like I am witnessing history, that I am part of it. For some reason the idea of future generations reading about a noteworthy individual from my lifetime gives me a charge. I do not really know why; I just like the idea of being able to tell someone about events on a personal level. In regards to this biographical movie, the main character was the driving force. Luckily the main character of Nelson Mandela was impressively played by Idris Elba (Pacific Rim, RocknRolla). This dramatic picture covers Nelson’s life from childhood through his 27 years of prison to becoming President of South Africa. After my first initial recognition of Idris as a current movie and television star, I quickly forgot it and believed I was watching Nelson Mandela; that is how good Idris was in the role. My knowledge about Nelson’s 1st wife Winnie Madikizela was limited; but not only did I think the actress Naomie Harris (Skyfall, 28 Days Later) did a wonderful job portraying her, but I felt I gained an understanding of what happened to the relationship of the two. With the wonderful acting I felt the story suffered here; there was so much history to cover that some parts of it went by too quickly. Here was a case where I think making two movies would have been better. I found myself not being engaged as much when Nelson was not in the scene. It was a disappointment because I saw this film soon after Nelson’s death. With all the newscasts and special reports that came out, I was already invested in his life story. This Golden Globe nominated movie covered a lot of ground; it just did not dig deep enough for me. Several scenes included the Afrikaans and Xhosa languages with English subtitles.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
The word scared is defined as a condition or sensation of sudden fear. It is understandable to be fearful the first time one willingly parachutes out of an airplane or takes a ride on a wild roller coaster ride. Part of being scared is experiencing shock or surprise. I think most people would enjoy being shocked by a winning lottery ticket or unexpected promotion. Those types of shock are good, but none of us want to experience the shock of bad news. I think the reason we voluntarily go on a frightening ride or a scary movie is due to a primeval urge: the fight or fright syndrome. When one gets scared the body accelerates its functions, releasing hormones into the system, preparing itself for any imminent demands that will be placed on it. Because I believe in the use it or lose it way of thinking, I feel when we place ourselves in a controlled environment like a scary movie we are giving our body the opportunity to exercise. Think of it like taking your car out onto the highway to blow out the carburetor. I am not a fan of horror movies but I have to tell you I felt I was on an amusement park attraction while I watched this horror thriller. The other thing that surprised me was the amount of humor interjected into the story. Newcomer Andrew Jacobs played Jesse who lived in an apartment building with his grandmother in Oxnard, California. After finding a strange bite mark on his arm; Jesse’s friends Hector and Marisol, played by Jorge Diaz (Filly Brown, American Trash) and newcomer Gabrielle Walsh, noticed a strange change taking place over their friend. Having never seen any of the previous installments of this movie franchise, I found the setting and use of an all Hispanic cast refreshing from the usual scary movies I have seen in the past. The thing I found odd was the times Spanish was spoken there were no translations. Though there were elements of surprise, one could easily figure out what the cast was about to do and where they were going in the film. As I mentioned earlier the humor used in the movie added a fun element for me. Horror fans who want to see blood and violence will be disappointed with this picture, there was very little of it. The use of handheld filming was annoying to me after a while, though there were at least some creative angles in the filming. For a scary film this one was more like a light sanitized version; however by the end, I felt my nervous and circulatory systems got a decent workout. A couple of brief scenes showed blood.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Grudge Match
Early on in my teaching years I became aware I was not only the instructor but the student. The members who attended my classes were not aware they were presenting me with a life changing gift. They showed me that age was only a number. Prior to teaching fitness I did not have an example of an older individual who continued to be active, either in a professional or physical capacity. In my classes I would see people in their 70’s and 80’s keeping up with strength training and aerobic activities. My most profound experience was watching a wheelchair bound member, who after a few months, got up out of their seat in one of my yoga classes. It changed my whole outlook about growing up and growing old. Since that time I am all for people who do not let their age stop them from being active and utilizing their skills. So this brings us to today’s review of this comedy film. The story was about 2 former boxers Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp and Billy ‘The Kid’ McDonnen, played by Sylvester Stallone (Escape Plan, Rocky franchise) and Robert De Niro (Casino, The Family). It has been 30 years since the 2 bitter rivals last boxed but sports agent Dante Slate Jr., played by Kevin Hart (Think Like a Man, This is the End), was determined to get the two men into a ring to decide who was the better champion. Okay, I do not have any issue with the concept of this sport film. Heck, I just saw a news report about a 90 year old runner who still does marathons. Recently I read comments that Sylvester felt he still had something to say about boxing and that is why he did this movie. If he felt he had something to contribute who am I to judge? I cannot recall the last time I felt embarrassed from watching a film out at the theater. The generic script was so lame that it was cringe worthy. Maybe I am being judgmental here but for the life of me, I cannot come up with any reason why Robert De Niro would do such a film except for the paycheck. Even as I am typing this I am experiencing deja vu of feeling icky when I was at the theater. The only bright spots for me were seeing Kim Basinger (L.A. Confidential, Cellular) playing ex-girlfriend Sally and Alan Arkin (Get Smart, Edward Scissorhands) playing former trainer Louis ‘Lightning’ Conlon. As for Kevin Hart, this is the 3rd or 4th film I have seen with him and it seems as if he is just repeating the same character in each one. I am afraid I have seen better winners in my fitness classes. There were several brief scenes where blood was shown.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: 47 Ronin
I am always eager to read or hear a good story. The stories from friends and family are special to listen to since there is the personal aspect to them; for example, a friend telling me how the unusual mantle clock on their dresser came to them from their grandfather. I only wish I knew the story behind a silver cup that was given to me that belonged to my great, great grandfather; imagine what kind of tale that would be. Another type of story I enjoy are the ones that have to do with public places like the reasons why the city of Chicago reversed the direction of the Chicago River or the true story behind the stock exchange building in Savannah, Georgia. When it comes to movies, I am always looking to be entertained by a good story. With regards to this adventure fantasy film, I thought it would be especially interesting since the film was based on an 18th century Japanese story about samurai. Never accepted as a true member of the village, the leader of a band of samurai named Oishi, played by Hiroyuki Sanada (The Wolverine, The Twilight Samurai), would have to depend on the special skills only Kai, played by Keanu Reeves (Speed, The Matrix franchise), could offer in the group’s quest to clear the name of their former master. From what I understood the historic legend was about 47 samurai who were known as ronins, which means without a master. So with this archival reference I thought the studio would have gone the extra distance to make a vivid action movie worthy of the story. Unfortunately that was not the case with this dull plodding film. Keanu did himself no favors, acting more like a supporting character; with his standard short, staccato quiet way of speaking. It is something everyone has seen before and all it achieved here was to dim my senses. The script was pretty much a total mess; I did not feel hardly any emotions throughout the scenes. At least there were a few good battle scenes; however, with the fantasy element being part of this story, I felt there was not enough of it in the film to make it noteworthy. Adding in the marketing of this movie, it looked like the studio spent a lot of money to make this picture. Sadly, the only story that will be told about this fiasco will be how the movie studio took a hit on their earnings for ruining a legendary tale. Several scenes had Japanese with English subtitles.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Her
There are some people who fall in love at first sight. I know it has happened but I have never experienced it. Now sure there can be an immediate attraction, but what is it based on? For some folks it could be the person’s looks, style of dress, humor or manners. Though each of those attributes have their place in one’s love scorecard, I have had different experiences. A good portion of relationships I have encountered started out where I had no feelings for them. They may have not been attractive according to some people’s way of thinking or at first glance, we had very little in common. However, as we continue to communicate with each other a transformation takes place. Their features soften in my eyes while their voice begins to feel like a warm current of water that continuously washes over me. I cannot explain it nor does it make sense to me most of the time, but a connection forms that is like a high voltage cable that jump starts my heart. Each of their spoken words ignite an array of colorful sparklers in my mind that blaze across the landscape of my soul. I refer to this as being in a cerebral state, but others call it an emotional relationship. Having this ability allowed me to have a couple of long distance relationships in the past. It also made me fall in love with this romantic Golden Globe nominated movie. Writer and director Spike Jonze (Adaptation, Where the Wild Things Are) created a story in the not so distant future about letter writer Theodore, played brilliantly by Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line, The Master). With the purchase of a revolutionary operating system, Theodore began discovering a different world with the help of the operations assistant Samantha, voiced by Scarlett Johansson (Don Jon, The Prestige). With most of the screen time devoted to Theodore and Samantha, they created a world of amusements and touching moments. Joaquin was utterly amazing playing a character filled with total emotional depth, some of it even light and funny. With only using her voice Scarlett created such a vivid character that I was immediately drawn in to her, believing she was a living breathing human. Even Amy Adams (Man of Steel, Enchanted) as Theodore’s neighbor Amy was lovely in a stripped down sensitive way. I thought this was Spike’s best movie; his directing of the cast, the gorgeous cinematography and even the perfectly placed music from Arcade Fire created an amazing film viewing experience. Like a long distance relationship this movie continued to resonate with me long after I saw it in the theater.
3 3/4 stars
moviejoltz 