Blog Archives
Flash Movie Review: The Cold Light of Day
Since I began posting movie reviews here, I have tried alternating between first run movies and those on DVD. You will notice with today’s review it is of a film I saw this past week at the theater, instead of one at home. The reason is simple; if you are so inclined to view this movie, do not spend any money seeing it in a movie theater. Do not waste any money on it. The first 15-20 minutes started out well, with Bruce Willis (Moonrise Kingdom, Die Hard franchise) as Martin doing okay, for what seemed like a typical role for him. Taking his family out sailing on his boat, Martin tried to keep the peace, though it was obvious there was tension between him and his son Will, played by Henry Cavill (Stardust, Immortals). When there was a slight accident on the boat, Will swam to shore to get first aid. With supplies in hand, he returned to the beach only to discover the sailing boat was gone. It did not take Will long to find the boat tucked away in a nearby cove. Imagine the surprise he got when finally reaching the boat he discovered it was deserted. The search for his family would lead Will on a high stakes chase, that involved the CIA and terrorists all looking for a mysterious briefcase. Let me make this easy for you: the story was dopey, the acting was putrid and the action scenes went by so fast, I had a hard time figuring out what the heck was going on. This movie looked like it was one of those payback films, where actors had to sign on to repay a favor to some producer or movie studio honcho. The whole time watching this movie I thought the missing family members were the lucky ones; they did not have to stay and watch this mess.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Branded
I am a marketer’s dream, I fully admit it. Trying new products, particularly in the food category, is my thing. Something newly developed with chocolate, I welcome eagerly into my home with open arms. When I saw this movie listed at a nearby theater I had to see it. My middle brother was Executive Vice President Chief Creative Officer of an advertising firm. Yes, you can thank him for all those lovely pieces of mail; offering stamps, contact lenses, among a multitude of other items. His famous line is, “Marketing has destroyed the world.” Set in the future, this movie showed exactly how marketing was affecting the consumer. Misha Galkin, played by Ed Stoppard (The Pianist, Joy Division) was a marketing whiz. When he initiated a life changing experience, Misha was finally able to see the truth behind all those marketing campaigns that have been relentlessly, bombarding the masses. With this new found knowledge that only he could see; his girlfriend Abby Gibbons, played by Leelee Sobieski (The Glass House, Public Enemies), did not know if he was a genius or simply going insane. There was a slight sci-fi edge to the film that was shot mostly in Moscow. The story had no traction for me, particularly in the beginning, as it unfolded in a slow and ponderous way. I could see the satire the writers were trying to convey regarding the buyer’s need for acquiring more stuff. But, once the characters ventured into what I would call an advertiser’s war, I found the plot silly. You would have thought the producers would have done some test marketing of this film; for if they had, they would have discovered this movie about marketing had very little to offer the consumer.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Cosmopolis
The more money a person acquires, it seems to me, the less they maintain a grasp on the real world. When I see examples of obscene amounts of money being spent on outrageous objects, such as 24 carat bathroom fixtures or a bedroom set carved out of a rare, exotic wood in the shape of a venetian gondola; I think, is that really necessary? As the division between the have and have nots widens, we have here a movie that depicts a time of chaos. With life spiraling out of control; young billionaire Eric Packer, played by Robert Pattinson (Twilight franchise, Water for Elephants), decided to go outside to get a haircut. In a decked out limousine and accompanied by tough security man Torval, played by Kevin Durand (Real Steel, Legion), Eric became a witness to life outside of himself. Here was an instance where I had wished I read the book before seeing this film. It was hard figuring out what was happening at times. For example, why couldn’t Eric have his barber come to his limo like his doctor? I was hoping to see Robert stretch himself in this role, due to a majority of the movie was filmed of him inside the limo. Unfortunately, I found Robert falling back into his character Edward from Twilight, minus the pale, sparkly skin. The division of the classes was something I could pick up on; however, I thought the script was utterly wrong, providing me with nothing to sustain my interest. I was bored out of my mind and did not care about the various characters that popped in and out of the limousine, during this slow moving movie. Even casting Paul Giamatti (Sideways, The Illusionist) as Benno Levin was not enough to save this poor film. Maybe if the studio did not spend so much money for the actors and director, they could have gone more for quality, making this film understandable for the masses. Brief scenes with blood.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Katy Perry: Part of Me
The first woman in history to have five #1 singles off of one album is a major accomplishment. Even in this era of auto-tuning, the fact remains Katy moved records. With this documentary I was hoping to get a deeper glimpse into the life of this daughter of two pastors. Seated in the audience, I scanned the crowd, noticing the majority of people were 4 to 12 year old girls with their parents. It seemed odd that the younger kids would be into Katy Perry, but with her cartoon looks and sugar pop songs, I guess it made sense. For me, this film failed in providing anything meaningful; for the most part, it played out like an extended music video. To Katy’s credit, she is devoted to her fans and appears to put on the best concert each and every time. I looked for it, but I believe Katy sings live and for that I commend her. When it comes to concerts I am old school, expecting the artist to be singing live and I know that is not the case these days. Usually when the singer has complicated dance steps they are lip synching. As you will see, Katy kept her moves more basic and simple. There was nothing special in this movie. Scenes were snippets of places and times; I never felt Katy was letting her hair down, so to speak. So she was not wearing make-up, big deal. I found the entire movie experience bland and fluffy. And if it wasn’t enough having a noisy audience, this was the movie where I had the altercation with the father; who let his two daughters scream, cry, talk and whine. You have been warned.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: W./E.
Forgive me Madonna fans; I really wanted to like this film. The score was a wonderful accompaniment to this stylish film and the costumes were perfect. In fact, you had Madonna singing during the closing credits. She was the director and co-writer of this schizophrenic film. There were two stories being played out in this movie. The better of the two was about King Edward VIII, played by James D’Arcy (An American Haunting, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World), who abdicated the throne for the woman he loved, Wallis Simpson played by Andrea Riseborough (Happy-Go-Lucky, Never Let Me Go). The other story was about Wally Winthrop, played by Abbie Cornish (Bright Star, Sucker Punch), who became inspired by Mrs. Simpson’s life to find happiness in her own life. I have seen Abbie act and know she can be rather good; however, under this tedious and boring script, along with utterly lifeless direction from Madonna, Ms. Cornish was dreadful. Some of her scenes were ridiculous; I would have thought Madonna would have studied up on camera angles and how to set up a scene. Andrea’s performance as Wallis was the most real for me. Also, I found her looks to be quite interesting. With the curious idea of having two stories, one in the past and one in the present; it was a shame Madonna did not deliver a more fitting film. I stood on a folding chair in cowboy boots for 3 hours during a Madonna concert. Gratefully, I did not have to spend the money nor wait in line to see this messed up movie.
1 2/3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Lockout
I am all for cutting corners where one can to save some money. In my heyday you should have seen my coupon prowess. But what was the studio thinking when they saw a script like this one which had Bruce Willis’ name written all over it? Maybe Bruce’s asking price was too high and the studio went instead for a discount. So they chose Guy Pearce (The King’s Speech, Traitor) to play the role of wrongly convicted, smart mouthed Snow. Not that Bruce has cornered the market on quick-witted, sarcastic retorts; but, I became bored early on with Guy’s attempts. Here is the story in a nutshell: Snow was offered his freedom if he would agree to rescue the President’s daughter Emilie Warnock, played by Maggie Grace (Taken, The Jane Austen Book Club), who was trapped inside an outer space prison, when overtaken by the prisoners. Granted, not the most original of ideas and the movie studio did not just stop there in their frugality. I found the special effects, for this day and age, lackluster and unexciting. The one object I found cool could be seen in the trailer–the space-aged motorcycle ridden by Guy Pearce. Okay, so it looked like a pimped out Bat-Pod. Remember, the producers were trying to save some change. As you may have gathered, I did not find too much to like in this movie. All I was hoping to accomplish was some space out time with a thrilling fun science fiction movie. Instead I felt a dose of reality as I watched this cheaply made movie that should have gone straight to DVD.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Good Deeds
A good deed would have been the theater giving out free popcorn and drinks, so the audience would have had something to do during this movie. Lifeless performances, particularly from Tyler Perry (Madea’s Family Reunion, Diary of a Mad Black Woman) as Wesley Deeds, were boring. I felt as writer, director and actor, Tyler had too much on his plate, nothing was given his full attention. The only bright spot was Phylicia Rashad (Just Wright, A Raisin in the Sun) who played his mother, Wilimena. The story was bland and unoriginal: Wesley was the favorite son and his brother was the black sheep. We have all seen this before and there was not one new idea added to this scenario. With a life that seemed to be preordained, successful Wesley appeared to have the perfect life, with everything in its place and each day no different then the day before. Not until he met cleaning woman Lindsey Wakefield, played by Thandie Newton (The Pursuit of Happyness, RocknRolla), did his life veer off this chosen path. Thandie tried her best with what she was handed, but she could not clean up the poor script. I understood what Mr. Perry was trying to do and thought the concept for the story was good. Sadly, within 20 minutes, I realized this movie should have been thrown out with the dirty soap suds.
1 2/3 stars
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