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Flash Movie Review: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
I am guessing most of you never heard of a restaurant chain called Wimpy’s. They were one of my first introductions to a hamburger chain, when I was a little kid. Their serving plates had a border of international flags. I much preferred my definition of wimpy than how it was used here. This was my first encounter with this movie franchise, nor was I familiar with any of the books. Since I was called a variety of names growing up, I am uncomfortable with the use of any negative descriptive words towards children. For those of you who know these movies please forgive me; I wasn’t getting it. I did not understand why the main character Greg Heffley, played by Zachary Gordon (Diary of a Wimpy Kid franchise, The Brothers Bloom) was considered a wimpy kid. The story was about what Greg would do during his summer vacation. Where he wanted to sit at home and play video games; his father Frank, played by Steve Zahn (Sunshine Cleaning, Employee of the Month), felt his son needed to be outside and have some fun. This led Greg into several exploits. I thought the use of lying and revenge for a base to build comedic antics was a poor idea. For me the jokes were lame and the different situations Greg got himself into were barely worth a chuckle. I guess this movie was meant for a narrow age group of children. Maybe the books were better, but on film it was boring for me. I have been called a kid at heart; I just hope they were not referring to these type of kids.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Watch
If there’s somethin’ strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? Oh, excuse me; I just had a flashback after watching this movie about a neighborhood watch group. Though this comedy vaguely reminded me of the movie Ghostbusters, there were some big differences. And they were not good. In this movie we had Evan, played by Ben Stiller (Tower Heist, Greenberg), a husband who was the manager of the local Costco store. Keeping active in his suburban town; Evan started a community watch with fellow neighbors Bob, Franklin and Jamarcus, played by Vince Vaughn (Couples Retreat, The Dilemma), Jonah Hill (Moneyball, 21 Jump Street) and Richard Ayoade (Bunny and the Bull, The IT Crowd-TV). During a nightly drive, the patrol hit a large foreign object in the road. Did you like the way I wrote that last line? Yes, the neighborhood boys struck down an alien, discovering the earth was soon to be invaded. What a group of heroic, brave neighborhood watchmen! Now if they could have only found a better script, this would have been a better movie. If you like jokes about male and female anatomy, this film has a plethora of them. Not only was I bored silly with the old, stereotypical humor; I could not believe the mundane acting from Stiller and Vaughn. Could these two actors have put in a little more effort in their roles? It may have helped; but honestly, the script did not provide anything worthwhile. If I were you I would not stop by for a visit to this neighborhood.
1 3 /4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ice Age: Continental Drift
With massive seismic activity, land masses splitting apart, deep chasms forming, homes being lost; you would think there would be enough excitement to last through this entire animated film. Unfortunately that was not the case in this latest installment of the movie franchise. When the ground splits open, ripping their homeland to pieces; Manny and his gang take off on a wild sea adventure. Voiced again by Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond-TV, The Lost Words), Manny captains an iceberg as he desperately tries to find his family. I found myself starting to doze off from the predictable and bland story. The jokes were less sophisticated, geared more towards kids. For a CGI movie it did not have the same visual impact that Madagascar 3 or Brave had on me. I will say this movie did have great character voices with Wanda Sykes (Evan Almighty, My Super Ex-Girlfriend) as Granny and John Leguizamo (Moulin Rouge, Righteous Kill) as Sid. A new character was Captain Gutt, voiced by Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones-TV, Death at a Funeral), who with his fellow pirates was determined to prevent Manny from returning to his family. If you have children and they want to see this film, then it would be appropriate for them. But as for the rest of us, maybe it is time this franchise became extinct.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: To Rome with Love
There have been so many wonderful movies made in Italy. Having been there, I understand why a movie studio would want to film there, to use the beautiful country for a backdrop. Just with the title of this movie, I figured I could not lose; at the worst I would get to see gorgeous scenery. Well, that was all I really got out of this redundant movie. I think Woody Allen (Scoop, Annie Hall) over extended himself by doing the writing, directing and starring in this film. There were concurrent multiple stories and I felt none of them were solid enough to stand on their own. The humor was stale and to a degree cheap, as if Woody mined his previous movies and old monologues for jokes. There was an ensemble of actors such as Alec Baldwin (The Departed, It’s Complicated), Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network, Adventureland) and Greta Gerwig (Lola Versus, Arthur). I did not find any of their roles enjoyable; they were either looney or boring. This film was a let down for me since I loved Woody’s last film, Midnight in Paris. I assumed this comedy would be another winner with the cast and location; I was wrong. After the movie I came back home, opened up a carton of ice cream (imagining it was gelato) and went through my photos of Italy. I had a better time then I did at the movie theater.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Peace, Love and Misunderstanding
The bond between a mother and daughter can be a beautiful and loving connection. That was not the case in this comedy. After her husband declared he was divorcing her; high strung Diane, played by Catherine Keener (The 40 Year Old Virgin, Into the Wild), left with the children and reluctantly went to visit her aged, hippie of a mother. It had been 20 years since mother and daughter had last seen each other. Jane Fonda (Monster-in-Law, Agnes of God) was the pot smoking, laid back, free loving mother Grace–a total opposite from her tightly wound, uptight daughter. All staying under one roof; Grace, Diane and the grandchildren needed time not only to adjust to each other, but to heal issues from the past before they could go forward. The bright spot for me in this clunker of a movie was Elizabeth Olsen (Martha Marcy May Marlene, The Silent House) playing the granddaughter Zoe. I have been so impressed with Elizabeth’s brief career in acting so far; she really has a gift for it. There were parts of the story that interested me; however, what turned me off was Jane Fonda’s character. It was so over the top stereotypical, I was annoyed by it. I would be curious to know why Jane took this role. With no surprises in this movie, it was not long before I started glancing down at my watch–never a good sign. Though Elizabeth and Catherine were good, it was not enough to save this lame movie.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: For Greater Glory: The True Story of Cristiada
Looking back in history, it seems as if religion usually played a role in war. At least that has been my belief. Without any prior knowledge I was shocked I had never heard of the Cristeros War (1926-1929), that took place in Mexico. Simply put, this was a war against the Catholic Church. Mexico’s secular government was led by President Plutarco Elias Calles, played by Ruben Blades (Safe House, The Devil’s Own), who essentially declared war on the Catholic Church with the help of the government he set up. For example, church property could now be seized whenever the administration saw fit. There was a ban on all religious orders besides the elimination of any foreign born priests–even if it meant killing them. Civil war broke out led by Catholic rebels called Cristeros, Christ fighters. To solidify their ranks and become more like a disciplined army, the Cristeros enlisted the help of war hero Enrique Gorostieta Velarde, played by Andy Garcia (City Island, Smokin’ Aces). I felt the writers did a disservice to this historical based film. With this chapter already played out in Mexico’s past, the writing should have only elevated the dramatic moments or bridge the gap between story lines. Clocking in at 2 hours and 25 minutes, the movie was way too long, much in need of some serious editing. It would have given several parts more impact. A surprise to me was Andy Garcia’s poor acting; I expected better from him. What a shame to take a David and Goliath type of story and turn it into a mediocre soap opera. This movie had several graphic scenes.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Battleship
Take an older stoic movie star, a pseudo action hero, a pop singer, a hot television character, a model/actress, a group of aliens and what do you get? You get a half-baked dumb movie. The powers that be must have sat down and gone through a list of options, picking out the ones that would interest a wide swath of the general population. Unfortunately, this left no one to focus on the story, for it was silly. I mean seriously, aliens could travel across the universe, but could not move out of the way of a communications satellite’s path? The gist of the story was scientists beamed a signal out into the universe and something not so friendly answered it. Poor Liam Neeson (The Grey, Taken) as Admiral Shane tried his hardest with the cheesy script. I was embarrassed for Alexander Skarsgard (True Blood-TV, Melancholia) as Commander Stone Hopper with some of the lines he had to utter. Rihanna as Petty Officer Cora “Weps” Raikes was still Rihanna. And if it was not bad enough being part of the biggest movie flop in history, Taylor Kitsch (John Carter, The Bang Bang Club) had to endure being in this mess as Lieutenant Alex Hopper. On the plus side, the real marines used in this film must have had a fun time hanging out with the cast and crew. The only reason to see this science fiction thriller would be to give your brain a break from thinking.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Lucky One
After the movie ended and I had to climb over the woman dabbing at her moist eyes with a wad of tissues, I was wondering who was the lucky one. Maybe she felt fortunate for seeing this movie; I know I certainly did not, I was the unlucky one. My teachers used to tell me before you give a negative comment, always start out with something positive. I liked the coming attractions. Now that I got that out of the way, let me start with the lead character Logan played by Zac Efron(17 Again, New Year’s Eve). He was so wrong for this movie and shame on the director for not pushing Zac to at least try and act in this movie. I felt he was too young and pretty while he tried to portray a three tours of duty marine. After finding a photograph of a woman, Logan felt it was a good luck charm that protected him, keeping him alive during his military stint. He made a promise if he survived the war, he would find this woman and thank her. The photo he kept close was of Beth played by Taylor Schilling (Dark Matter, Mercy). Her acting was decent, but there was absolutely no chemistry between her and Zac. Besides being passionless to the point of almost painful, this movie was predictable. Syrupy music was used throughout as we were exposed to extended shots of the sun setting or rising. I did not read the book, but I think with a different cast and director this film could have been a better movie and a more believable story.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Raid: Redemption
During one point of the movie I felt I was watching an extreme episode of the Iron Chef. There was so much slicing and dicing, I almost had to take a motion sickness pill. The story was simple: a small swat team of police officers, on a mission to bring in a ruthless drug lord, got trapped in his compound. Vastly outnumbered, the team had to fight their way through an endless amount of the drug lord’s minions. There was nothing to the story, it only had sparse dialog and practically non-existent acting. The key element here was the action scenes. The main star was Rama, played by Iko Uwais (Merantau). My guess is the studio was hoping to market Iko as the next martial arts superstar. He was a national champion in silat, a traditional Indonesian martial art, which he has been studying since he was 10 years old. The fight scenes were choreographed down to the millisecond. The actors moved so fast I wondered how many real injuries took place while filming. After several battles, they all seemed to be the same to me except for the level of violence. If you play violent video games, you would be okay with this movie. Though I could appreciate the intricate fight scenes, I did not enjoy viewing this movie. Ginzu knives missed a great marketing opportunity here. Warning: extreme violence. Indonesian with English subtitles.
1 3/4 stars
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