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Flash Movie Review: The Beach Bum

THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE IT I have found is to smile, nod your head in agreement and slowly try to remove yourself from them. I cannot guarantee it will always work but it usually will lessen the conversation time and hopefully the person will get bored and move on. Now I am not passing any type of judgment on the individual; they are free to do whatever they want to themselves. I just do not have the patience to listen to someone who is drunk or stoned. What bothers me more is when I feel like I am a captive audience to their utterances. For some reason if a person, who is under the influence of something, enters a train car or bus more than likely they will make their way to me. There must be something about me that attracts such individuals; it is like those people who do not like pets and when they walk into a house that has a pet, the animal makes a beeline to them. The only thing I can do when this happens to me on public transportation is either walk to a different train car or try and move to a different seat on the bus. However, this does not always work.      USUALLY AT WEDDINGS OR OTHER SUCH gatherings, I can gracefully extricate myself from the intoxicated person and disappear into the other mingling guests. But guess what happens sometimes? That person winds up sitting at my table. Ugh, it is so annoying when one is trying to enjoy their meal and you have a fellow guest acting silly or nonsensical at the table. I have only experienced this a couple of times where a drunken guest gets so smashed that they hurl whatever they have in their stomach. If it were my celebration I would order a taxi to take the individual home; because trust me, there is nothing worse than sitting at a table full of guests with food and have one person sitting there with soiled clothes, about to pass out. I know there are some people who find amusement in the antics of an inebriated or high individual. Granted some people feel their artistic talent gets accentuated with the help of drugs or alcohol; I honestly don’t know one way or the other. All I know for certain is that I felt like I was being held captive to the meanderings of the drunken and high main character in this comedy.     LIVING LIFE BY HIS OWN RULES had given writer Moondog, played by Matthew McConaughey (The Dark Tower, Serenity) some notoriety in the areas he traveled. It didn’t matter if people did not understand as long as they had fun. Also starring Isla Fisher (Confessions of a Shopaholic, Nocturnal Animals) as Minnie, Snoop Dog (Future World, Unbelievable!!!!!) as Lingerie, Zac Efron (The Greatest Showman, Baywatch) as Flicker and Stefania LaVie Owen (The Lovely Bones, Krampus) as Heather; this movie was torturous for me. Matthew as far as I could tell was doing schtick that quickly got tedious. It felt like he was just exaggerating characters he had played before. Or maybe, it was his own persona that he created that he was portraying. I felt the script had no structure that simply went from one event to another with no connections. Even now I have no idea why this movie was given approval by the studio; though, at one point I wondered if this was based on a true story and we would eventually get to a poignant spot that would make sense of the whole story. No such luck; instead I sat there bored out of my brain watching the nonsense on screen. Sitting through this movie was like being cornered by a drunken person who has no regard for my personal space.

 

1 ½ stars

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Flash Movie Review: Baywatch

THEY appeared to know each other but were not friends. Dressed similarly in tank tops and baggy sweatpants; they kept an eye on each other, thinking they were being discreet. I knew better because I would notice the things they did while working out on the fitness floor. Before or after my class I would hang out on the fitness floor to do some strength training exercises. Seeing these two young guys in the same area for several weeks, I started to notice they were not workout buddies; they were competing with each other, attempting to exert their dominance by being the best. What I mean is they would try to out lift each other using free weights. If one guy was doing chest presses, the other would start to do them but with slightly more weight on the barbell. Once the first guy caught sight of his “opponent” lifting more weight, he would stop and add more weight. This pattern would go on until they went from doing 15 reps down to 1; it was comical to watch.     THERE is something about some men’s testosterone that pushes them over the edge. Those two guys on the fitness floor are still at it, trying to top each other. Since I am at that between age, between birth and death, I can sit back and just observe some of these antics and shake my head. And trust me it is not just the younger generation; I still get from time to time some older member coming up to me in the locker room and making some lewd comment about me teaching “a classroom full of ladies.” Without being rude, since I am an employee of the fitness center, I find a way to give them a quick response that masks my displeasure and get away from them as quick as possible. I felt the same way about watching this action dramatic comedy.     FORCED to do community service former Olympic swimming champion Matt Brody, played by Zac Efron (Dirty Grandpa, Neighbors franchise), thought being a lifeguard would be a no-brainer of a job. That all changed when a dead body washed up on shore. This film loosely based on the television show starred Dwayne Johnson (The Fast & Furious franchise, Pain & Gain) as Mitch Buchannon, Priyanka Chopra (Don franchise, Quantico-TV) as Victoria Leeds, Alexandra Daddario (The Choice, San Andreas) as Summer Quinn and Jon Bass (Loving, All Nighter) as Ronnie Greenbaum. I vaguely remember the TV series but I am sure it was nothing like what I saw in this movie. For me the best part of this film was Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron and the outtakes at the beginning of the credits. One cannot help but enjoy Dwayne’s effort and Zac’s comedic timing. Outside of that the story was overloaded and bulky; sort of like Dwayne’s muscles and Zac’s attitude. The script was awful as it was filled with foul language and sexual references. I did not find it funny simply because more than one or two swear words or sexual innuendos is cheap humor in my opinion. Now there were a few fun sarcastic lines in the script, but there was not enough to entertain me for the duration of the picture. Based on the crowd in the theater, the main purpose for seeing this film as far as I could tell was for the eye candy. No matter how many lifeguards were in this movie, it could not be saved.

 

1 ½ stars

 

 

Flash Movie Review: Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

Weddings bring out the best in some people and the worst in others. What is supposed to be a happy occasion can dissolve into a grudge match between family members or guests. A friend of mine recently told me about a wedding they attended for one of their family members. Evidently there is a cousin who becomes belligerent after having a few drinks. As I was listening to this story I quickly came to the conclusion this cousin was essentially a bully. He wound up trying to pick a fight with a cousin from the bride’s side for no apparent reason; however, that cousin was a black belt in the martial arts. As soon as the drunken bully threw the first punch he was immediately thrown onto his back by the martial arts expert. Family members from both sides rushed to the scene, picked up the cousin from the floor and took him away. That type of entertainment I could do without at a wedding; my experiences have been less dramatic at the weddings I have attended. What I have found at weddings are relatives who feel it is appropriate to ask, not only the bride and groom but other family members both married and single, personal questions about when they will have children or when will they settle down and get married. Or better yet, they will go up to a single person and ask them why they are not married yet as if something is wrong with being single. Oh I just remembered this one wedding I went to where the parents of both the bride and groom hated each other and did not hide their feelings about it to anyone. This is why I said what I said earlier about weddings and the people who attend them. I could easily understand the concerns the family had in this comedy.   THE parents of hard partying brothers Dave and Mike Stangle, played by Zac Efron (Neighbors franchise, The Lucky One) and Adam Devine (The Intern, Pitch Perfect franchise), demanded their sons each bring a date to their sister’s wedding to keep them in check from riling each other up. The brothers felt they could find respectable girls with an online ad. Inspired by a true story this comedy came with some strong language. The other thing it came with was a cast that was skilled in comedic timing. Along with Zac and Adam there was Anna Kendrick (Into the Woods, Cake) as Alice and Aubrey Plaza (Dirty Grandpa, Safety Not Guaranteed) as Tatiana. These two women were exceptional in their comedic abilities. There were some laugh out loud moments in this adventure romance but after a while the script turned into a series of crazy events that did not offer anything new for the viewer. If it was not for the cast performing so well, I probably would have been bored through parts of this film. Outrageous, loony with poor judgments and lots of alcohol; some of you may be grateful you did not get an invite to this wedding.

 

2 ½ stars

 

 

Flash Movie Review: Neighbors 2

As I walked into the backyard I could see him out the corner of my eye, crouched down and staring intently at me. He did not move until I called out his name. Immediately after hearing me he sprung up and bounded over to the fence that separated our two yards. He was the youngest of my neighbors’ three dogs and knew he would be getting a back rub once I called out his name. I have even seen him get down on all fours as soon as he hears me pull my car into the garage, for he knows I will be coming out the side door and giving him a back rub. While I was massaging him the neighbor happened to come outside to do some yard work. We talked briefly; he caught me up on the latest news around our neighborhood. He also told me they were thinking of putting up a privacy fence around their yard but they wanted to check with me first and see what I thought about it. I told him I did not have a problem but their dog might get upset; we both had a good laugh over my comment. I have to say I have been very fortunate with the neighbors who live around me. We are respectful and mindful of each other; asking each others’ opinions before undertaking a major project or at least letting others know about repairs that could be intrusive for a short time. I have been lucky that I have not experienced any drama, violence or even out of control loud parties when it comes to my neighbors. There is no way I could live in the type of neighborhood that was in this movie.   WITH their house on the verge of being sold Mac and Kelly Radner, played by Seth Rogen (Steve Jobs, The Interview) and Rose Byrne (Spy, The Meddler), only needed 30 more days before the sale would finally close. Unfortunately a lot can happen when a sorority moves in next door to you. This comedic sequel followed a similar game plan to the first film which involved a fraternity instead. I liked what the writers were trying to do here and credit them for allowing Zac Efron (That Awkward Moment, Dirty Grandpa) as Teddy Sanders to shine with his comedic timing. He surprised me with how well he did in this picture. The trailers unfortunately showed several of the highlights in this film so my reactions to the scenes were somewhat subdued. Most of the humor was made up of sight gags; however, I felt the writers could have gotten more punch out of the story if they would have given more focus to Teddy’s household skills. It seems like Zac’s recent film roles make sure he is in some form of undress during them; maybe the movie studios are hoping it will give them better reviews. Fans into that will not be disappointed with this film. My disappointment was due to the story being pretty predictable and similar to the previous film.

 

2 1/3 stars

 

 

Flash Movie Review: Dirty Grandpa

The first time I saw a warning label printed on a product, I remember thinking why would anyone want to buy something that could harm them. It was a pack of cigarettes, I recall. The other item I remember were those plastic bags that dry cleaners used to wrap customers’ freshly laundered clothing. Today it seems as if almost everything comes with some type of warning. Some of them make sense like the ones regarding medicine and over the counter drugs. I am someone who wants to know if a drug is going to make me sleepy or loopy. Recently I bought a hot air popcorn popper and there was a warning not to submerge the base of it in water because it could be an electrical hazard. Ok, that makes sense to me. Now there are some product warnings I have seen where I think the manufacturer must be assuming the person buying their product has no common sense. Shouldn’t everyone know to lift up a hot pot by its handles? I absolutely understand companies are afraid they will get sued, but doesn’t the consumer bear some of the responsibility? Wasn’t there something in the news about a person taking legal action against a fast food chain because the hot coffee filled cup they placed between their legs, while driving out of the drive thru, spilled and burned their legs? Regarding movies, each of them comes with a rating which in a way is like a warning about the content of that particular film. None of the current ratings explain the warning one needs before seeing this comedy.    HAVING recently buried his wife Dick Kelly, played by Robert De Niro (Joy, Being Flynn), convinced his soon to be married grandson Jason, played by Zac Efron (Neighbors, That Awkward Moment), to take him on a road trip. Their trip would reveal many new surprises. I want to know how the cast which also included Zoey Deutch (Beautiful Creatures, Ringer-TV) as Shadia, Aubrey Plaza (Safety Not Guaranteed, Life After Beth) as Lenore and Julianne Hough (Safe Haven, Footloose) as Meredith could do any type of press tour and not be embarrassed by this movie. This was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. The script was vulgar, crude, obnoxious and offensive; I could go on. It is astounding that these actors agreed to do this picture, especially Robert De Niro. Sure he can do comedy but why would he set himself up for ridicule. I guarantee you when the time comes to do a tribute to him; this movie will not be included in any of the film clips of his past roles. In regards to Zac, it seemed to me as if he counted on his looks more than his limited acting skills. This movie needed a warning label so innocent people would not spend their money and unwittingly let the studio know it is okay to make a crappy film.

 

1 star

 

 

 

Flash Movie Review: We Are Your Friends

There is a particular point in a song where the beats per minute begin to reach out and you cannot help yourself from moving. One could be sitting in a nightclub and a certain song comes on that makes you almost unconsciously begin to tap your feet to the beat. There is something primal about being part of a crowd on the dance floor as everyone is moving in their own way to the music thumping out of the speakers. One of the reasons I especially enjoy dance music is because of its lack of structure. Many styles of dance such as a polka or waltz require you to follow a pattern with a partner. When disco came on the scene people really started to let loose as electronic music started coming to the forefront. I do not know if they still hold school dances, but I want to tell you the main reason why I did not like attending them. If you were not part of a popular group more than likely a good portion of your time was spent sitting on the sidelines as you watched your classmates dance in the middle of the gymnasium. The only thing that would make things worse was when a teacher would force a boy to go ask a girl sitting off on the side to dance. Usually he would find some way to make fun of his dance partner to all of his friends. Dance music allows one to let loose with no restraints or restrictions. This musical drama had the right beats to move your feet.    LIVING off of odd jobs during the day Cole Carter, played by Zac Efron (That Awkward Moment, Neighbors), just needed to find that one track that could help him break into the world of DJs. Getting to the right track would be a convoluted trek. My two favorite parts of this film were the explanation of the DJ’s job and the soundtrack. I found myself tapping my feet anytime there was dance music playing in this romantic drama. Sadly that was it because this film went nowhere. The script was awful; the entire cast which also included Emily Ratajkowski (Gone Girl, Entourage) as Sophie and Wes Bentley (American Beauty, The Hunger Games) as James was more like sterile stereotypes of actual people. The dialog was lame and I never understood why Cole was taken under the wing of the other DJ. There was something about the events in this film that came across in a calculated way, as if the writers pulled out different emotions from a hat then wrote a scene around them; it came across in a disjointed way. Watching this movie was like dancing with a partner who had two left feet or in my case since I am left-handed, two right feet. Either way it was all wrong.

 

1 1/2 stars

 

 

 

Flash Movie Review: Neighbors

Somehow I never received the rule book on how one is to act based on their birth age. All I know is birth age is simply a measuring tool for how long someone has been alive. It has nothing to do with how you live. At a recent training for certification in a new exercise format, during introductions I noticed I had been teaching the longest. What I did not know was how I was being perceived as an old person. As we went through the instructions it became apparent people were making allowances for my ability to perform the precise physical movements. They were challenging for me but not due to a lack of strength. I was having a hard time because the moves were written down; I am a visual learner. The funny part to all of this was when we had to hold a yoga plank position; I was able to longer than most of the other participants. Magically I suddenly earned a new respect from everyone. I was now accepted as part of the group and felt like I was on equal footing with them. It was something Kelly and Mac Radner, played by Rose Byrne (Get Him to the Greek, Damages-TV) and Seth Rogan (This is the End 50/50), were striving for when they went to introduce themselves to the fraternity house that opened up next door. Unfortunately the Radners lost their cool factor when they broke their promise to frat officers Teddy and Pete, played by Zac Efron (That Awkward Moment, The Lucky One) and Dave Franco (Now You See Me, Warm Bodies). This comedy had enough strong language and situations to be an equal opportunity offender to anyone who dislikes crude and rude humor. I thought the movie’s story line about trying to fit in was the better one out of the script. After a while I just became numb to the jokes and pranks. Rose was one of the stronger actors out of the cast and I was surprised in her ability to handle the role of Kelly. Zac appeared to have found a perfect role for himself: a smart aleck, charming and chiseled frat president. The writers had a field day always setting up Zac and Seth as a before and after advertisement for combatants. At one point I felt this film was hoping to be this generation’s Animal House movie; it did not succeed. If you are not easily offended then chances are you will find things to laugh at in this movie. If you find yourself not enjoying this picture, do not worry about it; you will be able to find and be part of a group of similarly minded folks. Cute scenes during the credits.

 

2 1/2 stars

Flash Movie Review: That Awkward Moment

You know the exact moment when your friendship began to evolve. It was when you asked your friend about making plans to do something and they began their reply with the words, “Let me check with…”  There was no malice, boastfulness or arrogance on your friend’s part; they were just telling you there was someone in their life who reached a new level of importance. This does not take anything away from your status with them, but understand your friend is now part of a couple. Now I will say I am aware of the division that sometimes forms between couples and singles like a sheer curtain rustling in front of an open window on a breezy day. I have been told that there are times where an even number of guests is more desirable for some than odd. Except for riding an amusement park ride, I never really understood why some people would think that way. You can see how a dating relationship may affect a friendship in this romantic comedy. Zac Efron (The Lucky One, 17 Again), Miles Teller (The Spectacular Now, Rabbit Hole) and Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station, Hardball) played best friends Jason, Daniel and Mikey. When Mikey’s girlfriend Vera, played by Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield, She’s the Man), told him she was breaking up with him, his two best friends promised they would stand by him and show him the ropes to being single again. I have to tell you after sitting through this film I was so thankful I did not have friends like these people. They were crude and immature for the most part or should I say at least their dialog was from the predictable script. The story seemed so formulaic; the three friends could be broken down to the smooth talking pretty one, the smart-alecky joker and the sensitive one. I will let you guess which one matches to which description. The only characters that seemed somewhat believable to me were Mikey and Chelsea, played by Mackenzie Davis (Smashed, Breathe In). If I had not seen the movie trailer to this film I might have been less bored than I was sitting in the movie theater. I did not find it a real portrayal of friends and the different things they were getting themselves involved in. Maybe this was due to my lack of having  any friends who acted like these guys. For that I consider myself lucky and am grateful for it.

 

1 3/4 stars

Flash Movie Review: At Any Price

Having one’s family name as a company moniker must be a heady experience. There must be a sense of pride and dedication to maintain a good reputation for the family name. Future generations, I believe, would be groomed to uphold the standards that were set before them. At least that is what I thought; but found out it was not the case when I was employed at family businesses. I found the offspring of the owners to be spoiled brats, without a sense of decency. They had a sense of entitlement, treating their company as their own personal kingdom; or even worse, as their own individual bank account. As I watched Zac Efron (The Lucky One, The Paperboy) play Dean Whipple in this drama, I was getting a similar impression. The difference was Dean had no interest in following in his father Henry’s, played by Dennis Quaid (Vantage Point, The Words), footsteps. But then again could you blame him? He was his father’s second choice. The story revolved around the choices and results members of the Whipple family made in the name of their family business. I did not find the characters likable with the exception of the mother Irene, played by Kim Dickens (The Blind Spot, Hollow Man). Her strong understated performance felt the most real to me. Zac did not bring anything new to his acting which consisted mostly of blank stares from his unusually bright eyes. I found the way light reflected off of his eyes to be a distraction. There never was a time where I believed in his character. The poor script allowed disjointed scenes of melodrama that did not help to move the story forward. One of the big, momentous scenes used to change the story was a cheap ploy; I disliked it immensely. There was a simple pureness to the way the movie was filmed. If the writers would have added more intensity to their story, it would have made an interesting juxtaposition between the emotional turmoil and the pristine landscapes. Instead we were stuck with a movie that was as exciting as watching grass grow.

 

1 3/4 stars

Flash Movie Review: Liberal Arts

Going away to college was a liberating experience for me. Where a majority of fellow high school seniors planned attending the state school, I chose to go out of state. Moving to a place where no one knew me seemed the safest thing to do. Surrounded by people who had similar interests to mine was exciting. For one of my required courses I was responsible for the upkeep of a horse named Daiquiri. Doing so allowed me free horseback riding lessons which I thought made be cool looking. In this educational world I learned more about myself and felt I was coming back to life. There was nothing better than acquiring knowledge and being  allowed to express myself. These feelings were rekindled as I watched this sweet touching film. Josh Radnor (How I Met Your Mother-TV, Not Another Teen Movie) deserves credit since he was the director, writer and star of this fresh thoughtful film. He played Jesse Fisher; a 30 something, recently single guy. When favorite college professor Peter Hoberg, played by Richard Jenkins (The Visitor, The Cabin in the Woods), invited him to his retirement party, Jesse agreed to travel back to his alma mater. The return to campus sparked fond memories in Jesse. When introduced to college student Zibby, played by Elizabeth Olsen (Martha Marcy May Marlene; Peace, Love and Misunderstanding), Jesse was taken by surprise with the strong connection that quickly formed between the two of them. Despite their age difference, both discovered they could still learn something from each other. This film had more to offer than what was shown in the trailer. I loved Elizabeth Olsen; she and Richard Jenkins were simply special with their acting. A surprise for me was seeing Zac Efron in this film and liking him for a change. This slice of college life with its sense of discovery, emotional upheaval and life’s lessons could easily make you want to enroll in school again.

 

3 stars

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