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Flash Movie Review: Shaft

HE WAS A MAN WHO NEVER heard the word “No,” during his professional role. I witnessed it for myself. During the summer I had a job at a company that was family owned. The man who hired me was the son of the owner, a man who had died several years prior. This company was the only job the son had done; he started helping out there during his elementary school years. I did not have much interaction with him, even though he was always around. However, I did see how the employees acted around him; some of them were even relatives of his. What became apparent to me was everyone’s reluctance to tell the son something negative or not aligned to his own way of thinking. Even if the person knew it was not in the company’s best interests, they would still not disagree with the son. For full disclosure, I will say the son was not the nicest man to work for; so, maybe some employees did not care about the company or its owner. I could only assume they did not need the job as much as I did. Again, I was only working there during the summer months before school started up again.      THAT EXPERIENCE TURNED OUT TO BE quite helpful in my job searches. After I got out of college I applied at a local company that made handbags. During the interview process I discovered the company was being run by a child of the owner. I cannot remember if it was a son, daughter or grandchild. When I found this out it made sense to me because there was an extremely expensive car in the parking lot with vanity plates. I knew right at that moment that the car was owned by the owner’s child. Putting two and two together, I declined the offer they made me; I did not want to get involved with a company that had such a chain of command hierarchy. It was a good thing because a couple of years later I discovered the company had to file for bankruptcy. I never found out the details of it, but I was convinced part of the reason was having the son run the business. Now, I do not want to slight all family owned companies; I know of several that have remained successful from generation to generation. But, I will say if children of the owner are not raised in a reality-based environment, where they must work to get ahead and deal with being told “no,” then I feel the company will never succeed. See how this plays out in this crime action, comedy movie.      THOUGH HIS FATHER HAD NO INVOLVEMENT with his upbringing JJ, played by Jessie T. Usher (Almost Christmas, Independence Day: Resurgence), decided to seek out his Dad for help in the mysterious death of a close friend. It would bring a whole new meaning to the saying, “Blood is thicker than water.” With Samuel L. Jackson (The Avengers franchise, Snakes on a Plane) as John Shaft, Richard Roundtree (What Men Want, Brick) as John Shaft Sr., Regina Hall (Girls Trip, The Hate U Give) as Maya Babanikos and Alexandra Shipp (Straight Outta Compton; Love, Simon) as Sasha Arias; this film could have been both fun and exciting. Instead it was vulgar and unnecessary. If the writers wanted to move the original story forward, they could have done it without the profanity laced dialog and unimaginative scenarios. Everything was obvious and easy to figure out; I quickly got tired while watching this stale story. I left the movie theater with only one wish: that none of the characters in the story ever procreate.

 

1 ½ stars     

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Flash Movie Review: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

BEFORE THE INNOCENT CREATURE COULD SEE the threat, I was silently sitting nearby to watch what was about to happen. The gigantic monster was deftly making its way down the wired girders. Because I could not hear anything, I assumed it was making its way in the quietest of ways. The prey was fidgeting and twirling around trying to escape once the monster came within eye sight. I was fascinated by the operation as it smoothly went like clockwork or at least that is how I perceived it. To the victim I am sure it was terrifying to see its immediate demise, once it got a sense of its predicament. Its wings were batting the air, trying to lift itself off the screen. It was no use; the enormous, dark predator descended over the prey to the point of nearly covering it from my view. I imagined there were screams of writhing pain being emitted but all I heard was silence. In my mind I was picturing the movie I had seen last week where a monster was on the brink of destroying Tokyo, Japan. The final battle pitted the monster with one that could fly in the air. What I was seeing was a re-enactment of that battle done by a fly and a spider on my window screen.      AS A KID I WAS WELL VERSED with all the creatures that were trying to destroy our cities. There was Rodan, Mothra, Hedorah and Gigan to name a few. For some reason they each seemed to be attracted to Tokyo; or at least that is what I am remembering now. I never saw any of these creatures at the movie theater. Instead, they would be seen on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, television program. As a kid I was not very impressed with the special effects in the movies, but I also did not care. The monsters were never agile, always seeming to lumber and stumble their way through the scenes. At some point in time, I do not recall all the details, I discovered some of the monsters were actually men dressed up in costume; I was so disappointed at the time. It did not, however, make me stop watching these movies. There was never any deep thought put into the script. Essentially, every one of the monsters was destroying our planet whether it was their intentions or not. Some things still hold true no matter the time.      AFTER A PERIOD OF PEACEFULNESS, A disruption brings out a new creature to threaten our world. The only hope is to combat this creature with another one. Could the earth withstand such a battle between these titans? This action, adventure fantasy starred Kyle Chandler (Game Night, First Man) as Mark Russell, Vera Farmiga (Captive State, The Conjuring franchise) as Dr. Emma Russell, Millie Bobby Brown (Strange Things-TV, Once Upon a Time in Wonderland-TV) as Madison Russell, Ken Watanabe (Inception, Transformers: Age of Extinction) as Dr. Ishiro and Bradley Whitford (Get Out, Saving Mr. Banks) as Dr. Rick Stanton. There were 2 glaring issues I had with this picture. Many of the fight scenes were dark in nature was one of them. The other problem was the script. I could not connect at all with this story. The script was so ridiculous and unemotional that I kept wondering if there was something worthwhile to focus on. I found many of the characters’ decisions crazy and unrealistic, especially the arc of Vera’s character. The monsters looked good which was a plus compared to those old-time films, I used to watch on television; but, this movie was not fun. I could not wait for it to be over. If this is what the film studio is going to produce these days, I hope there is a triumphant movie exec who kills the idea.

 

1 ½ stars

Flash Movie Review: Brightburn

DESIRE, THAT STRONG FEELING OF WANTING or wishing for something can turn lethal if it goes unchecked. Every one of us experiences this feeling and it is okay; but just like all things, one needs to use moderation when delving into the experience. Left unrestrained, desire can go down a dark tunnel that will suck the life out of even the strongest of individuals. The following example may be too harsh for some of you, so you may want to skip to the next paragraph. I have been reading in the news about a horrific crime that recently took place. A woman desired to have a baby. Her desire kept getting stronger until she came up with a plan, enlisting the aid of her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. The woman befriended a pregnant woman on a website, claiming she had free baby clothes to give away. Arrangements were made to meet up and when the pregnant woman arrived she was attacked. The trio killed the woman and cut the unborn baby out of her. I do not need to go any further with this story; I am sure my point came across clearly. The idea this woman came to a point where she felt it was okay to steal a baby, and especially in such a barbaric way, is mind blowing to me.      I HAVE BEEN DANCING WITH DESIRE my entire life. It took years for me to assert my will over my desire to eat any and everything within my reach. Eating from a bag of pretzels to a box of cookies was a daily occurrence between many meals. Pizza was my go to food during my college years; at one point I was eating pizza 3 times a day: lunch, dinner and evening snack. What I had to do to overcome this pattern was to switch the focus of my desire. I was tired of never finding clothes that fit me, so my desire to buy “regular” clothing overpowered my desire to eat. These days I can let my desire to eat come out on the weekends; but when Monday comes along, I must lock up that desire and return to my clothing desire. Now granted, my desires are more of a singular nature; they do not involve other individuals. However, there are people in the world who do not live with a checks and balance structure to their lives; their desire muddles the line between right and wrong. It can be seen in this horror, science fiction film.      A YOUNG COUPLE’S DESIRE FOR A CHILD of their own drives them to accept a baby in an unconventional way. With Elizabeth Banks (Pitch Perfect franchise, Love & Mercy) as Tori Breyer, David Denman (Puzzle, 13 Hours) as Kyle Breyer, Jackson A. Dunn (Avengers: Endgame, Shameless-TV) as Brandon Breyer, Gregory Alan Williams (Remember the Titans, Freshman Year) as Sheriff Deever and Emmie Hunter (Forever My Girl) as Caitlyn; this story started out the same way as a famous comic book character. In fact, I am surprised the comic book company has not started legal action against the movie studio who allowed this movie to happen; though, one might be able to make the case that the studio committed a crime by taking the viewers’ money for this picture. The script was so generic and poorly written that I knew what would happen before the scenes unfolded. Why Elizabeth took this role is beyond me. I did not care for the directing and found Jackson’s performance dull. There could have been so many ways to tell this story; why the writers chose this way was puzzling to me. And the kicker to all of this; it was obvious the studio desperately desires to make a sequel. Please don’t let that happen.

 

1 ½ stars      

Flash Movie Review: The Hustle

SITTING CLOSE ENOUGH TO ME TO BE heard was a mother and her young son. I could not help but to hear their conversation. The little boy was whining he did not want to go visit his aunt and uncle. For every negative comment the boy made, his mother would answer with an upbeat or positive answer. If you ask me I think their conversation went on way too long. So, I will spare you most of it and only give you some highlights. When the mother asked her son why he did not want to go visit his aunt and uncle, the boy said there was nothing there to do. The mother told him he could play in their backyard. To that the boy said there was nothing in the backyard except flowers and bushes. At another point in the conversation the boy said he did not like sitting by his uncle because he smelled funny. By the way this child was, I am guessing, around 4 or 5 years old. Another thing he did not like was the aunt’s chocolate chip cookies; they were always burnt. To sum up the entire conversation the boy was always bored and uncomfortable sitting at his relatives’ house.      MANY OF US MIGHT BE ABLE to relate to that conversation; where we must do something, we might not like doing. For me there was a relative that was an awful cook. Eating at their house was a chore because not only were many of the food dishes unrecognizable, they were also horrible tasting. I would always want to stop at a fast food restaurant before going to their house for dinner. Now there are other circumstances where one doesn’t want to do something they have to do. I don’t like having to go get my driver’s license renewed. The wait is always long and slow; the fear is always there that if I must take the driver’s test I will get an administrator who is in a bad mood; and the worst part, I will have to press my face into the viewer screen for the eye test portion. I can only imagine how many germs and stuff have been left on that viewer screen from all the applicants. Don’t all of us have to do things we do not want to do? It is part of life. The reason I have mentioned this is because I honestly was not looking forward to seeing this comedy. From the trailers, I had a feeling this movie would have a hard time keeping my attention.      ONE SCAM ARTIST WAS SOPHISTICATED AND chic, the other raw and uncouth; when they descend on the same place it would turn into a battle for each to outdo the other. With Anne Hathaway (Ocean’s Eight, Rachael Getting Married) as Josephine Chesterfield, Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect franchise, Isn’t it Romantic) as Penny, Nicholas Woodeson (Skyfall, Disobedience) as Albert, Alex Sharp (How to Talk to Girls at Parties, UFO) as Thomas Westerburg and Dean Norris (Fist Fight, Breaking Bad-TV) as Howard Bacon; this film suffered under a variety of poor choices. First, let me talk about Rebel. She needs to stop doing the same thing over and over. This character was no different from many of her past ones. I especially dislike how the writers use her weight to create so called comedy. As for the script, it was so basic that there was nothing noteworthy about it; it was ridiculous and boring. Whenever there was the opportunity to go with the lowest common denominator, this story went with it. I told you I was not looking forward to seeing this film and now I know why. The only positive thing I can say about this movie is that I went to the morning, bargain priced showing.

 

1 ½ stars     

Flash Movie Review: El Chicano

I DID NOT KNOW THE TWO brothers when they were growing up. All I can assume from what I have been told was they grew up in the same home, in the same environment. If I was not privy to this bit of information I would never guess they were brothers, except they did share some common physical features. Two men who were so opposite of each other, I have no idea what happened to make them so different in many ways. One brother was jovial, the other was mostly serious. One easygoing who didn’t hold a grudge, while the other one was stubborn and hostile. They were not the only example I had of family members being so different from the same household; but I have to say they were an extreme example for me. Over time I have given thought and studies to the general psychological characteristics, feelings and behavioral traits of humankind; in fact, I thought I would have had a career out of it. Looking at these two brothers besides genetics, there must have been something going on in their environment that made them drastically different. Maybe a parent favored one over the other or one was being abused or bullied outside of the home; in either case, their differences caused a major rift between them that still lasts to this day.     I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT THERE is something wrong with being different; I find it to be healthy and celebrate it. Imagine if each family’s members acted the same. The first thing that comes to mind is there would be no surprises. With everyone being the same, everyone would know what to expect. I also believe the family would have a narrower view of the world around them. I know a couple who live in such a self-built confined world, that they have become fearful of anything new. Now you could argue if they are happy and content then what is the big deal; however, I do not know if they are happy because I have never seen them display it. What I do know is they have missed out on so many events that I believe would have brought them joy. The bottom line for all of this is unless one lives and observes what takes place every day, one cannot truly know the reasons why people turn out the way they do. You can see for yourself if you choose to watch the two brothers in this film festival winning drama.      GETTING ASSIGNED TO THE BIGGEST CASE of his career L.A.P.D. detective Diego Hernandez, played by Raul Castillo (We the Animals), was thrown a loop when the case included information about his dead brother. With Jose Pablo Cantillo (Crank franchise, Elysium) as Detective Martinez, George Lopez (Valentine’s Day, Spare Parts) as Captain Gomez, David Castaneda (Sicario: Day of the Soldado; Standing Up, Falling Down) as Shotgun and Marlene Forte (A Haunted House, Real Women have Curves) as Susana; this movie screamed hope and desperation. I truly get it; the writers and studio wanted to create a franchise around a Latino avenger which would be fine. However, to create a poor script loaded with clichés and predictability was a major roadblock. The acting was nothing to talk about either. This type of story has been done many times before; I do not understand why the writers chose to go down such a conventional path. One guess I have would be the lack of funding for this picture. Every scene looked sparse like it was borrowed or already picked over from previous movies. The fight scenes were staged okay but here too they were kept to a brief, bloody moment. I felt bad for this film; besides poor sales, I cannot see any reason why someone would want to attempt a sequel.

 

1 ½ stars    

Flash Movie Review: Ugly Dolls

IN MY HOUSE I HAVE A beautiful curio cabinet. It is mission style, crafted out of wood and glass. I have received numerous compliments on it. Granted, I put it in a prominent place between two passageways right underneath a wooden copy of a Frank Lloyd Wright window. It was the only spot open in the room and it was the perfect place. The piece stands on four short legs before meeting the bottom of the 2 front cabinet doors with glass insets. Vertical thin strips of wood come down the front seamlessly, except where 2 black metal plates with a metal ring are attached to pull open the door. I saw a picture of this cabinet in a catalog and immediately knew I had to get it. Sure, I looked at other cabinets, but none of them had a strong attraction for me like this mission style one. When it arrived, I had to assemble the pieces together which is not my forte. After reading through the directions I began the process and was surprised how well it was going. That is until I had to assemble the pieces to the back panel. One predrilled hole did not line up; I had to drill a 2nd hole if I wanted to finish building the cabinet. Until now I was the only person who knew this perfect cabinet was not so perfect when it arrived. Luckily, the extra hole was in the back where no one would see it.      THAT IS THE THING ABOUT PERFECTION, it is only a perception. I cannot think of one thing that I would say is perfect. Growing up I would hear friends’ parents compare their children to others, mostly when their child was being scolded. They would ask why their kid could not be more like so-and-so and act better. Even though it was said in different ways, the parents’ message coming across was essentially telling their child they wished he or she was better. The other family was being perceived as perfect or better by the child’s parents. And do you know what contributed to them thinking this way? I believe it was television shows because back then families were portrayed as being perfect. One did not hear about divorce, affairs or problems. These shows warped many people’s perceptions. In my own life, when I began my career in fitness I became obsessed with fitness magazines. I felt I had to look like the models that were being used by the writers. For years I wanted to be the perfect specimen of a fitness instructor. Well guess what, I was never going to be perfect and that was okay. It is a message that can be found in this animated, adventure comedy.      IN UGLYVILLE THE WEIRD, THE DIFFERENT and of course the ugly are all things celebrated by the inhabitants. But right past their town beauty can be found in many forms and some citizens yearn to be part of that beauty. With Kelly Clarkson (From Justin to Kelly, American Dreams-TV) voicing Moxy, Blake Shelton (Pitch Perfect 2, The Ridiculous 6) voicing Ox, Leehom Wang (Forever Young, My Lucky Star) voicing Lucky Bat, Wanda Sykes (Monster-in-Law, Bad Moms franchise) voicing Wage and Pitbull (Epic, Empire-TV) voicing Uglydog; the message the writers were trying to get across was spot on. Unfortunately, I do not know if any of the viewers will get the message because this picture was bleak on many counts. The script was boring; there was nothing fun about it. There was no wow factor regarding the animation which left me being bored through long passages of this film. Only the unmemorable songs and Kelly’s enthusiasm kept me awake. I could not tell if this movie was made to sell dolls or to rehash bits of cutting room footage from other films. The movie studio wanted to show us that it is okay not to be perfect and they certainly did by creating this mess. I do not think this is the way the studio intended to show us.

 

1 ½ stars    

Flash Movie Review: The Intruder

I HAD A PAIR OF SHOES that I walked to death. Being extremely picky when it comes to shoes, I remember exactly where I was when I bought that pair of shoes; in a department store shopping for a gift. As I was walking around I wound up by the shoe department. On an endcap was a display of shoes that caught my eye. I liked the style and the fact they were on sale, so I decided to try on a pair. The minute my foot slipped into the shoe I immediately was taken by the comfort. This was something that doesn’t often happen to me when it comes to shoes. After I tried on the other shoe I walked over to a mirror to see how they looked on my feet. One glance and it was confirmed, the shoes were going to be mine. Normally I bring shoes home and wear them around the house for a couple of weeks to make sure they will not cause any discomfort; however, this pair of shoes I wore that night when I met friends for dinner. From that first day, I wore those shoes every day for every occasion. Even when the heels were worn down and the sole’s tread smoothed out into baldness, I could not give up those shoes.      THERE ARE SOME THINGS, ONCE WE acquire them, we cannot let them go. I know this is a HUGE challenge for me. If I find something that brings me some form of joyfulness, I understand myself well enough to know I will never want to give it up. There are mementos around my house that I have had since childhood that still bring me joy to this day. A candy dish I played with as a kid; a plastic salad bowl that sat on our dining room table; even a pine cone that was given to me by a classmate in school when we got lost in a forest during a break in studies; each of these things represent a fond memory that I never want to forget. Maybe it is easy for you to remove yourself from your personal possessions; I have some friends who do a purge of their things every year to keep their homes sparse and clutter-free. I can do that on a smaller scale, but every time I try I get bogged down in the memories that float back into my consciousness from each item I see. On first meeting the home owner in this dramatic, horror mystery; I thought he had the same issue of not being able to detach himself from his possessions.      MAKING THE TRANSITION FROM CITY DWELLERS to country homeowners appeared easy for married couple Annie and Scott Russell, played by Meagan Good (Think Like a Man, The Unborn) and Michael Ealy (About Last Night, Seven Pounds). It was not as easy for the man who sold the house to them. With Dennis Quaid (A Dog’s Purpose, Far From Heaven) as Charlie Peck, Joseph Sikora (Charlie Wilson’s War, Ghost World) as Mike and Alvina August (Bad Times at the El Royale, The Good Doctor-TV) as Rachel; the story seemed quite familiar to me, as if it had been done many times before. If the writers had taken a different direction, maybe this picture would have had more to offer; since the cast was quite capable. Instead, the script was awful, insulting the intelligence of the viewer. It seemed as if every other scene with Dennis focused on his sardonic, sinister smile while the couple continued to make lame decisions. I was so bored by this movie I kept hoping the house would just catch on fire to end the story. When I left the theater, I was mad I had given up my valuable time to sit and watch this ridiculous film.

 

1 ½ stars

Flash Movie Review: Hellboy

THE SOUNDS FROM CONVERSATIONS AROUND ME blurred into a curtain of white noise. I was not focused on any of them, only aware of the background noise they created. Instead, I was pulling travel brochures out of my knapsack, that I had picked up at the hotel before taking myself out to lunch. The restaurant was a local establishment I had read about and was curious to check out. Whenever I travel out of state, I always try to eat at least one meal at a restaurant that is not part of a national chain. When I walked into this place I could smell the smokiness of barbeque in the air. The hostess had placed me in a booth by a window; I not only had a view to their outdoor patio, but I also had a wide view of the dining area inside. There was a constant flow of activity, from patrons walking in and out to the wait staff keeping up with the flow of meals coming out of the kitchen. I liked looking at the different food dishes being ordered; it was a way for me to see what was popular on the menu. After I decided and gave my order to the waitress, I delved into my reading material.      IT WAS DURING THE TAIL END of my meal when I realized that curtain of white noise had dissipated. Looking up from my brochures I noticed a good portion of the restaurant patrons were looking at the front entrance. Standing at the door was a couple with a child. It did not hit me immediately, but pretty darn close that the patrons had stopped talking to stare at this couple. There was nothing I could see that was unusual about the couple. I was hoping they were not staring for this reason, but I knew deep inside it had to be the only reason the diners would have looked up and stopped talking to each other. The couple was biracial. Their child had a mix of features from both parents; dark cocoa skin, soft tightly curled brown hair and light-colored eyes. I was stunned that a biracial couple would draw so much attention. Why would anyone care? I do not have the answer, but it was not until the couple was being led to a table that the other patrons resumed their conversations. What in the world would they have done I wonder, if the main character from this action, adventure fantasy came into the restaurant?     AN ANCIENT SORCERESS KNOWN AS THE Blood Queen, played by Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element, Resident Evil franchise), was plotting her revenge on mankind. Her plan included an unusual offer. With David Harbour (Revolutionary Road, The Green Hornet) as Hellboy, Ian McShane (Hercules, John Wick franchise) as Professor Broom, Brian Gleeson (Logan Lucky, Phantom Thread) as Merlin and Sasha Lane (American Honey, After Everything) as Alice Monaghan; this reboot was filled with blood and violence. In fact, that pretty much says it all about this picture. I found the script lifeless. What I assume was supposed to be humorous remarks bordered on vitriol. There was nothing fun or exciting in this film except Milla’s character. She was the only character that I cared about. I have never read the graphic novels but compared to the original movie, this one was a waste as far as I could tell. In all honesty, watching this film was like seeing a high school production that had not gone through its technical week. I felt different scenarios were shown but never carried all the way through to conclusion. All I can say is it was hell sitting through this film.

 

1 ½ stars        

Flash Movie Review: The Beach Bum

THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE IT I have found is to smile, nod your head in agreement and slowly try to remove yourself from them. I cannot guarantee it will always work but it usually will lessen the conversation time and hopefully the person will get bored and move on. Now I am not passing any type of judgment on the individual; they are free to do whatever they want to themselves. I just do not have the patience to listen to someone who is drunk or stoned. What bothers me more is when I feel like I am a captive audience to their utterances. For some reason if a person, who is under the influence of something, enters a train car or bus more than likely they will make their way to me. There must be something about me that attracts such individuals; it is like those people who do not like pets and when they walk into a house that has a pet, the animal makes a beeline to them. The only thing I can do when this happens to me on public transportation is either walk to a different train car or try and move to a different seat on the bus. However, this does not always work.      USUALLY AT WEDDINGS OR OTHER SUCH gatherings, I can gracefully extricate myself from the intoxicated person and disappear into the other mingling guests. But guess what happens sometimes? That person winds up sitting at my table. Ugh, it is so annoying when one is trying to enjoy their meal and you have a fellow guest acting silly or nonsensical at the table. I have only experienced this a couple of times where a drunken guest gets so smashed that they hurl whatever they have in their stomach. If it were my celebration I would order a taxi to take the individual home; because trust me, there is nothing worse than sitting at a table full of guests with food and have one person sitting there with soiled clothes, about to pass out. I know there are some people who find amusement in the antics of an inebriated or high individual. Granted some people feel their artistic talent gets accentuated with the help of drugs or alcohol; I honestly don’t know one way or the other. All I know for certain is that I felt like I was being held captive to the meanderings of the drunken and high main character in this comedy.     LIVING LIFE BY HIS OWN RULES had given writer Moondog, played by Matthew McConaughey (The Dark Tower, Serenity) some notoriety in the areas he traveled. It didn’t matter if people did not understand as long as they had fun. Also starring Isla Fisher (Confessions of a Shopaholic, Nocturnal Animals) as Minnie, Snoop Dog (Future World, Unbelievable!!!!!) as Lingerie, Zac Efron (The Greatest Showman, Baywatch) as Flicker and Stefania LaVie Owen (The Lovely Bones, Krampus) as Heather; this movie was torturous for me. Matthew as far as I could tell was doing schtick that quickly got tedious. It felt like he was just exaggerating characters he had played before. Or maybe, it was his own persona that he created that he was portraying. I felt the script had no structure that simply went from one event to another with no connections. Even now I have no idea why this movie was given approval by the studio; though, at one point I wondered if this was based on a true story and we would eventually get to a poignant spot that would make sense of the whole story. No such luck; instead I sat there bored out of my brain watching the nonsense on screen. Sitting through this movie was like being cornered by a drunken person who has no regard for my personal space.

 

1 ½ stars

Flash Movie Review: Dumbo

I FOUND SOMEONE I COULD RELATE to and it was an elephant. Don’t laugh; this little elephant was a character I not only could sympathize with but identify with because of what he was going through in his young life. It was on a Saturday and I remember we took the train down into the city. A theater there was doing a weekend showing of the animated movie Dumbo. As we walked around the corner and I saw the movie theater, I got upset because of all the people lined up trying to get into the theater. I thought for sure all the tickets would be sold before we got up to the box office. By downtown standards this theater was one of the smaller ones which was part of the reason for my fears. All I knew about this little elephant was its ability to fly and I desperately wanted to see it for myself. Flying was something I dreamt about and was hoping I could learn something from Dumbo. As you can see at a young age I was already heavy into fantasy, looking to create a different reality around me. I could not stop fidgeting as we slowly made our way up to the box office.     WITH TICKETS IN HAND WE FOUND seats in the theater; I could not have been more excited. When Dumbo was being made fun of, I felt his pain. I was overweight and endured similar name calling. If I could I would have jumped into the screen to defend Dumbo and let him know he was not alone. I was visibly upset as I sat in my seat. And then suddenly, my sadness and pain disappeared in a puff of air, that I felt from Dumbo’s large ears when they flapped to give him flight for the first time. Seeing that little elephant rise up into the air was pure magic for me. I was told I had big ears, so I wondered if it was at all possible I could teach myself to use my ears along with my flapping arms to allow me to lift off the ground. There in that movie theater I had found someone like me; I wanted to do everything Dumbo could do. If I was ever afraid or uncomfortable I could simply fly away from the situation, soar above any of the pain or name calling I was experiencing. After all these years, I now have the opportunity to see my flying friend once again in this live action, fantasy film.     WHEN CIRCUS OWNER MAX MEDICI, PLAYED by Danny DeVito (Batman Returns, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-TV), bought a pregnant elephant; he never imagined the birth of a baby elephant could change his life so drastically. This family movie also starred Colin Farrell (The Beguiled, The Lobster) as Holt Farrier, Michael Keaton (American Assassin, The Founder) as V.A. Vandevere, Eva Green (Based on a True Story, Penny Dreadful-TV) as Colette Marchant and Alan Arkin (Argo, Going in Style) as J. Griffin Remington. While watching this picture I had a visceral reaction to what was being shown on the movie screen. Except for the variety of fanciful visuals, I thought this movie was an abomination. How did the movie studio okay a story that was dark and so not kid friendly? I was completely shocked by the script and found absolutely nothing fun or joyful in this picture. There were little glimpses of a possible pleasurable scene but for the most part the script and over the top soundtrack drowned any hope of enjoyment. Days later I still was confused how this film got made of such a classic iconic character from animated history. Unless you want to punish your child or yourself, there is no reason to go see this poor version of the classic tale.

 

1 ½ stars

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