DESPITE BEING FRIENDS FOR A LONG time, there was nothing I could say or do to stop my friend from what she was doing. She had been in a long term relationship for four or five years before it turned sour and ended. I helped her through her sorrow and tried to convince her to stop stalking him on his social media sites. Speaking from experience, I knew there was nothing good to gain from watching the person you had fallen in love with go on with their life without you. Unfortunately, she would not give up on following him. I just knew this did not bode well for the healing process; I knew her so well. As I expected, she started focusing on her appearance. First, she worked towards getting rock solid by exercising and dieting; we are talking hardcore dieting. Her sporadic bouts of exercise became a daily constant in her life, from jogging to fitness classes to weight training. I am all for people exercising but for the right reasons. The advice I would give her about not training the same muscles two days in a row was heard but not always acted upon. If she was going to keep up this pace, she would be a candidate for a pulled muscle or stress fracture sometime in the near future.      ONCE SHE STARTED SEEING RESULTS FROM her efforts, she started to alter her fashion style, going for a “younger look,” whatever that means. I liked some of the new clothing, but there were other choices that made me cringe inside. Of course, I did not say it like that to her when she asked my opinion; I just told her I did not think it was very attractive on her. I thought that was a pretty diplomatic answer. The next part of her evolution was the one that really made me cringe to the point I told her it would not be a good idea; he was not worth all of her time and effort. She planned on going with friends to the places he would be hanging out, like bars and restaurants. If she could not pin down the exact locations off of his social media sites, she planned on taking chances at several of his favorites spots. I thought it was such an awful idea that caused my stomach to twist into knots. No one was worth going through all of the work and then the embarrassment of trying to flaunt one’s self in front of their former love. I felt I was going to witness a trainwreck just like the one I watched in this comedy drama.      BEING A BARTENDER AT CHARITY EVENTS was not what Mike Lane, played by Channing Tatum (Dog, Logan Lucky), envisioned for himself; that is why he agreed to accept the hostess’ offer despite it sounding crazy. With Salma Hayek (Eternals, Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard) as Maxandra Mendoza, Ayub Khan-Din (London Bridge-TV, Coronation Street-TV) as Victor, Vicki Pepperdine (Johnny English Strikes Again, My Cousin Rachel) as Edna Eaglebauer and Alan Cox (Young Sherlock Holmes, The Dictator) as Roger Rattigan; this film directed by Steven Soderbergh (Erin Brockovich, Ocean’s Eleven franchise) was a shock for me. I rarely ever say this, but it was cringe worthy. The script was looney and most of the time I sat in my seat feeling embarrassed for Salma. If I need to say something was worthwhile seeing then I would say the dance scenes. It did not seem as if age had any affect on Channing, he still had the moves. I also enjoyed the scene with his old buddies. Outside of those things, I thought this film was such a mess. There did not seem to be any connections between anyone and zero back story. Maybe Channing was under contract to participate in this production. I suggest one not pay the cover charge and go to a different establishment instead to dance.

1 ½ stars