ANGER THAT WAS WHITE HOT CAME bursting out of my mouth. I had no filter set up to try and temper the words that were meant to strike hard and fast. The reservoir of anger stored in me was being tapped to intensify my reaction to the news that my trust had been broken. When I heard what they did, a wall of numbness briefly tried to take up residence around me; but that break in trust after our years together destroyed the numbness, which allowed my anger to come out with no restrictions. I could tell my words were striking with accuracy because the responses I was hearing from my statements were feeble and their posture was in the process of hunkering down. To give you an idea of how much force my anger had, imagine walking on a city street lined with commercial buildings on a frigid wintery day. As you turn the corner of the block, you get hit with such a force of icy wind that it makes you lose your footing on the snow-covered sidewalk; that is how strong my anger was coming out. I thought the two of us had a committed relationship; but evidently, I was wrong. There was nothing to stop me until I completely unleashed all the anger I had inside of me. IT WAS SEVERAL HOURS LATER, AS I replayed all the events of the day, before I admitted I had said some hurtful and hateful things to them. I do not know about you; but when I am in the heat of anger, all my senses are focused on unleashing everything stored inside of me. I have very little awareness of sounds around me. All I feel is heat rising off my skin and my radar for sensing any presence around me goes offline. In my head, my words sounded evil to the point I started to cringe when I envisioned how they were reacting to my statements. It is such a primal reaction, this anger inside of me, that I tap into to enhance the energy inside of me to keep up with the intensity. When I finished taking inventory of all the things that I had said to them, I did not know if and how to either rectify or explain it. There was still the breaking of trust and the feelings of hurt and betrayal I was experiencing; I could not come up with a plan that would achieve positive results like the main character was hoping for in this romantic comedy. AFTER SENDING OUT A HATEFUL PACKAGE TO his girlfriend who he thought was cheating on him, the regret he was experiencing forced Wyatt Trips, played by Paul Rudd (Ant-Man franchise, Role Models), to find a way he could intercept the package before it reached its destination. He would have to outsmart the delivery driver somehow. With Christine Taylor (The Craft, The Wedding Singer) as Kimberly Jasney, Reese Witherspoon (Home Again, Water for Elephants) as Ivy Miller, Sarah Silverman (Battle of the Sexes, The Book of Henry) as Turran and Richard Cody (Ivory Tower, Smiling Fish & Goat on Fire) as Raditch; this film was lucky to have Paul and Reese as main characters. Their acting skills helped the weak script limp along to its predictable conclusion. With such a competent cast, this movie would have been better if the writers had played to the actor’s strengths, besides providing scenes that would have surprised the viewer. Instead, there were many scenes that were easy to figure out before their conclusion. The only thing I can say about this picture is it probably will not produce a strong reaction, either way, for the person who is willing to watch it all the way to the end.
1 ¾ stars
ALL I NEED IS A GOOD pair of walking shoes, a map, a water bottle and I am ready to explore new territory. During my quest to see all 50 states, my usual routine was to fly into a city then either rent a car or take public transportation to my hotel. After checking in I would then set off on my journey to cover as much ground as humanly possible. I preferred walking, so my list of sightseeing destinations was grouped by foot, bus, train, cab or car. One city I visited, on my first day there I wound up walking eight miles in total, going from one place to another. It turned out to be one of my favorite cities to visit because so many things I wanted to see were accessible by foot. When I take trips like this, I spend little time on meals; usually I will pick up something on the run or stop at a fast food chain for a quick bite. My mission has always been to fill in as much things to do as possible. To some this may sound too frenetic and unrelaxing; however, I found it utterly peaceful. To be silent, standing in front of something that I had never seen before brought me a sense of blissful accomplishment. WHEN MY TRIPS HAVE TAKEN me to places of natural beauty, I find myself pretending I am the first person to encounter such a sight. There was a park I visited where I felt I was on an alien planet. The landscape was filled with shades of red and beige, pockmarked and smoothed from the wind, and there were places that had ancient symbols and script etched into its stone face. I imagined what it must have been like for the first explorer to encounter such a breathtaking sight. What did they do when they first saw it; did they try to climb or go around it? What did they think when they came upon rough water rapids blocking their path? These are things I think about on what I call my “fact finding” trips. Granted I have the luxury of knowing if I get hungry or need to use a bathroom, I can find one easily. And, if I should by chance get lost or injured, I have a phone with me (as long as I can get service) to call for help. I know me well enough to realize there is no way I could have been an authentic explorer or even a party to the group of men who ventured north in this action, western romance film. SEEING AN OPPORTUNITY TO STRIKE it rich all cowboy Jeff Webster, played by Jimmy Stewart (Vertigo, The Philadelphia Story), had to do was get a herd of cattle from Wyoming to Alaska during the Alaskan gold rush. With Ruth Roman (Strangers on a Train, Beyond the Forest) as Ronda Castle, Corrine Calvet (What Price Glory, Flight to Tangier) as Renee Vallon, Walter Brennan (The Westerner, The Real McCoys-TV) as Ben Tatum and John McIntire (Psycho, Turner & Hooch) as Gannon; this cinematic spectacle was a thoroughly enjoyable viewing experience. The drama in this movie was accentuated with the over the top musical score; yet, I found it only added more charm to this blast from the past, so to speak. I do not know how to describe it, but the acting had a different style to it compared to our current actors. Not that this was a negative, it just was apparent to me. The story essentially was a good vs evil playbook and the actors were well suited to the task of bringing the script to life. Also, though there were some backdrops that did not look real; I still enjoyed seeing the outdoor scenes and imagining what it must have been like for people back in the late 1800s who ventured up to Alaska. A breathtaking place by the way.
IF I LISTENED ANYMORE TO THE WEATHER reports I knew I would break down and not venture outside. I tried blocking out the rattling noises coming from the windows being bombarded by the wind. Though it was the afternoon the sky was as dark as the last breath of twilight. Despite the darkness I was able to make out the shape of the tree in my backyard leaning far to the side with its branches jostling like men in a rugby scrummage. Part of my brain was telling me to stay home, but the other part was saying I had to go and see this film that was only playing at one theater in a distant suburb. On a good day it would normally take me 45-50 minutes to get there; I could only imagine how long it would take in the wild rainstorm raging outside. For the next several minutes I had an internal battle of wits with myself. I asked myself how important was it to go see a movie on a day like this; was it worth possibly getting in an accident and getting injured? The movie was one of those independents that only come to the art house theaters; the fact it was playing in a place I could get to was a little miracle in itself. After arguing with myself my irrational side beat out my rational one. SITTING IN MY CAR WATCHING THE garage door open, a scene right out of a movie was being revealed to me. Garbage bins were scattered across the alley, with some having their contents pulled out to scatter across people’s backyards. As soon as I left the safe confines of the garage, I had to turn my windshield wipers on high because the rain was coming down so hard. I had no trouble pulling into the street, but within the first several blocks I had to dodge around fallen tree branches. Rainwater was pooling at the street curbs because the sewers could not handle the amount of water rushing down the streets. If there was any comfort to be had, I found it by seeing there were other cars out on the road; I was not the only crazy person to venture outside. My progress was slow, but I was keeping steady until I came upon a viaduct stretching over the street. I needed to drive underneath it; however, the road was flooded. Making a U-turn, I had to find a different route. Luckily, I did nearly a mile away. Despite the change, I made it to the theater before showtime; but, questioned if this was the best decision I could have made under the circumstances. The main characters in this dramatic, mystery romance found themselves having to make tough decisions as well. HAVING WORKED FOR MONTHS ON A NEW office tower without getting paid, a group of workers make the decision to seek out a better opportunity. The decisions they make will have a lasting effect. With newcomer Mame Bineta Sane as Ada, newcomer Amadou Mbow as Issa, newcomer Traore as Souleiman, newcomer Nicole Sougou as Dior and newcomer Aminata Kane as Fanta; this film festival winner had an interesting and mystical plot that was set in a suburb of Dakar in Senegal. For a cast with no acting experience, they did a believable job with their characters. There were some slow passages throughout the film, where some seemed a bit unnecessary to me. The script intrigued me as it touched upon multiple facets of life experiences. There also was an element of fantasy that threw me for a loop at first, but I soon found myself being drawn further into the characters’ plight. Because of this mix of reality and fantasy, along with the beautiful filming, I found this to be an alluring viewing experience. French, Wolof, Arabic was spoken with English subtitles.
BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN SUCH A long time, guests became familiar with the picture frame that I had turned around on my sofa table. The photo in the frame was too painful for me to see after our breakup; it showed a happy couple and it happened to be one of the few photographs where I thought I looked good. We had been a couple for several years before our relationship disintegrated in a horrible fashion. Many of my friends and family asked me why I still kept the framed photo on the table, but I was not able to provide them with a sensible answer; I could not get rid of it, but I did not want to look at it either. The funny thing is no one ever asked me about the painting I had hanging on the wall that was just as painful for me to see. The reason being this painting was bought as a prelude to the two of us moving in together. We both fell in love with the artwork and we decided we wanted it to be the first thing we would buy together for our “home.” I could not part with the painting, despite the pain, because what was depicted in the art piece was a vivid memory I had from my childhood. Luckily or gratefully, I had the painting hanging in a room that I did not go into often. As months passed the shock in seeing the painting became less and less difficult to see. THE PHOTOGRAPH AND PAINTING WERE not the only items that remained from a past relationship. My house has a variety of things that came out of the love I had for someone. There was the small, stuffed animal I was given with the memo that it would watch over to keep me safe. I recently found a plaque that was done in needlepoint that I had stuffed in a drawer. When I saw it, I immediately was able to remember the place, the occasion and the meal (yes, the food) we ate when I was given the plaque. Ever since I can remember, I always had or designated something that represented everything I experienced with a significant other. It could be a song, something bought, or something made, and I would deem it the repository for all the memories that were created during the time the two of us were together. Imagine my surprise when I watched this romantic comedy and discovered I am not the only one. DESPITE BEING BLINDSIDED FROM BEING DUMPED by her boyfriend Lucy, played by Geraldine Viswanathan (Blockers, Bad Education), could not get rid of the little mementos she acquired during their time together. The problem was she was running out of room, both physically and emotionally. With Dacre Montgomery (Power Rangers, Stranger Things-TV) as Nick, Utkarsh Ambudkar (Pitch Perfect, Blindspotting) as Max Vora, Molly Gordon (Booksmart, Good Boys) as Amanda and Phillipa Soo (Here and Now, Hamilton) as Nadine; the thing that sets this movie apart from others in the genre was the cast and written dialog. Geraldine and Dacre stood out for me; her because of her delivery of lines and him because of his screen presence. The two of them did a wonderful job of acting that felt real to me. The story followed a generic line but there were a couple of times where I was surprised by a twist thrown into the plot. Overall, this was an easy and amusing film to see at the theater. Though if I would have known, I would have come with a variety of items to donate to the gallery or better yet, offered to open a satellite location.
2 ½ stars
WHEN THE MIND DESPERATELY WANTS TO do something, it does its best to avoid listening to the body. Images of the task at hand briefly pop up in the brain like bubbles, keeping you distracted from reality. I cannot tell you how many times I have found myself in this situation. Through the past years I have taught a fitness or yoga class, knowing in the back of my mind I might not be able to finish all the way through it. There was the time I was inflicted with a rotator cuff impingement, which in plain language is a pain in my shoulder. I knew there were several yoga poses in class that I would not be able to handle without causing more pain to myself. The only way I was able to get through the class was to do a quick demo of the completed pose and when I had the class join in, I did a modified version that took pressure off my shoulder. To the class, I explained what I was doing, but framed it as an option for those who might be feeling pressure/discomfort in their shoulders. No one had to know I was partially incapacitated, which I know is silly; however, I have it in my brain that I need to always appear 100% healthy to the members in my class. I have this fear that a member might assume any infliction I might have was due to exercising, causing them to stop. I know, it is ridiculous on my part to think of such a thing. ONE OF THE HARDEST CLASSES I HAD to teach was my first cycle class after suffering a bout of E coli. My doctor had recommended I take more time off from work and teaching to recover, but my mind was telling me I needed to get back to work and teaching. The members in my cycle class knew I had been hospitalized; there was no way to pretend I was perfectly fine. Getting onto the cycle bike took more effort than I had ever needed. My thoughts of “will I be able to get through class” were clashing with my brain telling me I had to teach. The music started and off I went into the warm-up phase of our ride. I got through it okay but when I told the class to pick up speed and come off their saddles, I immediately could tell I was going to be out of breath in no time. With sweat building up and my breathing becoming labored, I had to dial down the tension on the bike’s flywheel. Almost every challenge the class and I went through on our ride; I had to modify or simply sit down and take a breather. It was the hardest class I ever taught; but the members were so supportive and appreciative, I felt good for the first time since contracting the E coli. Because of what I had gone through, I understood why the main character in this dramatic sports romance kept going. HAVING PUSHED HIMSELF TO THE LIMITS to get to the level of competition he needed to be at, there was no way a pain in his body was going to stop Tyler, played by Kevin Harrison Jr. (It Comes at Night, Monsters and Men), from playing the sport he loved. He also did not want to disappoint his father. With Lucas Hedges (Boy Erased, Ben is Back) as Luke, Taylor Russell (Escape Room, Lost in Space-TV) as Emily, Sterling K. Brown (The Predator, Black Panther) as Ronald and Alexa Demie (Mid90s, Brigsby Bear) as Alexis; this film festival winner provided an absorbing viewing experience for me. I thought the acting was excellent from the whole cast because with a story we have seen before, they took the words in the script and turned them into something new and fresh. Also, the directing and filming made a difference for me in this movie. There was such authentic meaning ringing out in all the scenes, that I found myself experiencing some of the emotions that were taking place with the characters. This was a moving and emotional experience about family, pain, honesty, grief and forgiveness.
3 ½ stars
IF I WERE TO PLACE A GROUP of people into a room and ask them what one thing, they think is important to have in one’s life, the majority of answers would be for money and love. These answers are perfectly valid; I would not disagree with them. However, I do not know if either of those answers would be mine. Now I certainly hope to always have love and money, but the other thing I want to have in my life is time. Yes, time. There is so much I want to do and see that I want to have as much time as I possibly can available to explore what I want to experience. I read a news article about an elderly couple, who are close to 90 years old, getting married and I am happy for them; may they share many years together and that is what I mean. How many wedding anniversaries do you suppose they will get to celebrate together? Not that I am trying to be morbid here; but I think about how many years will my relationship get as I have more years behind me than in front of me. This is why I believe time is a precious commodity. FOR BEING A NON-SPONTANEOUS PERSON, I am constantly aware of time. When I was working three jobs, I had to function like clockwork. Even today people who know me can set their clocks based on what I am doing or where I am at; this is absolutely true. Some of you may remember my childhood dream coming true when I traveled to Hawaii; it was the last state I had to see before I could say I have been to all 50 states. I have so many other dreams I wish to fulfill, but I need time to make that happen. When I was just starting out in the world on my own, time did not seem as important as it does now as I have grown older. I could stay out until 4 in the morning, get home to sleep a bit then eat breakfast and go on with the day with no problem. Now, I hope I can stay up some nights just to hear the news. Looking around my house, I have all these projects I want to tackle; but I never have enough time to sit down and really focus on them. Instead, I have space being taken up on tables, chairs and shelves with these unfinished tasks. It seems like I never have time to just sit down and relax; I worry that I will fall further behind in trying to accomplish what I have set out for myself. The couple in this romantic, dramatic comedy would understand what I am saying. WITH A POOR PROGNOSIS FROM HIS doctor, time was not something Griffin, played by Dermot Mulroney (The Wedding Date, August: Osage County), wanted to waste on thinking about his future; he wanted to spend time doing what he felt like doing right now. With Amanda Peet (The Whole Nine Yards, 2012) as Phoenix, Sarah Paulson (Glass, Carol) as Peri, Blair Brown (Altered States, The Astronaut’s Wife) as Eve and Alison Elliot (Wyatt Earp, The Spitfire Grill) as Terry; this film festival nominated movie played around with my emotions and I was okay with it. Despite the story following a generic blueprint, I enjoyed the chemistry between Amanda and Dermot. And if nothing else I thought the script’s message was both important and relatable to me. There were a couple of scenes that seemed farfetched but watching the characters’ trajectory kept me fully engaged. As you may imagine, a true test for a movie is not making the viewer feel like they wasted their time watching it; I did not feel like I lost a second of time by sitting down to watch this emotional picture.
2 ½ stars
I WAS SO YOUNG THAT I cannot recall what my age was when I saw this Jules Verne movie for the first time. Funny, I can see myself sitting in front of the television and I know it was a Saturday afternoon, because there was a TV show that showed a movie every Saturday afternoon. It was rare I ever missed a show. Because this happened so long ago, I do not have a full memory of the entire movie; however, I have 2 vivid images in my mind that have stayed with me all these years. The first is a massive sea monster that traumatized me when it appeared in the film. I do feel this sea monster is the reason I have always been squeamish anytime I have seen an octopus or squid. The other image that has stuck with me is a vessel that could travel underwater. Because I had never seen a submarine at that age, this vessel fascinated me when it appeared in the movie. Seeing the passengers walking inside of it as it traveled under the water made me want to join them. You may be wondering if I ever played with toys in the bathtub and the answer would be yes. However, my playing mostly involved flying saucers, rockets and boats. I never thought about a vehicle that traveled under water. THE REASON I AM TALKING ABOUT this memory is because soon after seeing that film, we went on a family outing to the science and industry museum in the city. One of the attractions there was an actual, full-size submarine. The connection was made; here in real life was the vessel that had first appeared in the fantasy movie I had just seen. I was beyond excited and pleaded to go inside the submarine. How did the film’s story know about submarines? It was some years later when I read the Jules Verne book that I realized he was aware of underwater vessels before most people. Through the years, I have seen movies where something in them had not yet entered the minds of the general public. When I come across situations like this it always amazes me how the writers can predict the practical use or the appearance of such an item or situation before it is part of our reality. You will understand better if you watch this dramatic romance considering what is taking place currently around the world. A few days before I watched this picture, I heard about a survivor of COVID 19 whose sense of smell and taste had not returned. THERE WAS TROUBLING NEWS CIRCULATING ABOUT people losing their sense of taste. This was distressing for Michael, played by Ewan McGregor (Doctor Sleep, Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey), to hear because he was a chef at an upscale restaurant. With Eva Green (Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, Penny Dreadful-TV) as Susan, Connie Nielsen (Wonder Woman, One Hour Photo) as Jenny, Denis Lawson (Star Wars franchise, The Machine) as Boss and Stephen Dillane (The Hours, Darkest Hours) as Stephen Montgomery; this film festival winning sci-fi movie was eerie and upsetting to watch because of what is going on around us presently. Putting aside the parallels between this story and present reality, I thought Eva and Ewan were well suited for each other. Their acting was excellent with its wide range of emotions. The story created this foreboding feeling that did not leave me; I kept hoping things would get better for the characters. I will say a part of me felt something was lacking in the script. There were scenes that did not feel complete for me and I felt unsettled by the ending. Of all times to watch this film; one must wonder if the writers had some inside knowledge or ability to see the future because I certainly felt the impact of this picture.
2 ½ stars
THE STREET I GREW UP ON never changed in size but after I moved away it turned into a one-way road. This was one of many changes I saw when I took a car ride to visit my old neighborhood. I lived on a side street in the city that was lined with houses, except for 2 apartment buildings where one of them was my home. All the years I lived there, drivers had to slow down and cautiously try to pass any cars coming from the opposite direction. If that was not enough of a surprise, the apartment building where I lived was turned into condos. The only change I could see was the doorbells were now on the outside of the building instead of in the lobby. As I drove by, I did wish there was someone I still knew who lived in the building because I would have been interested to see what my apartment looked like now. From there it was only a couple of blocks to both my elementary and high school. As I drove around the high school, I did not notice anything different. There was the same staircase with the wide terra cotta banisters where I used to hide during phys ed. The indoor swimming pool still had the same fiberglass looking window blocks that came halfway down the walls. THERE WERE SO MANY MEMORIES THAT got embedded into me during my time living in that neighborhood, both good and bad. I have a friend who has so few memories of her old neighborhood that I wondered if I was an anomaly or she. I can remember exactly where I was and what I was wearing in my memories from decades ago. The old neighborhood had a candy shop that existed way before I ever heard of Willy Wonka. The store had glass cases along all the walls where the proprietor would be behind them waiting for me to make my selections. Simply a nod of my head and the pointing of my index finger towards the case would set him in motion. He would take a small white paper bag and with a quick downward stroke of his extended arm to let the rush of air pop open the bag, he would lift the horizontal back pane of glass to withdraw my choices for the day. I do not know if he actually made the candies in the cases but those treats spoiled me when it came to other candy places; I never found candy that tasted as good as the ones he sold. Revisiting my old neighborhood is like being on a treasure hunt; there are so many things to find, just like the trio of friends discovered in this dramatic, romance comedy. ON THE DAY OF HIS WEDDING Roland, played by Taye Diggs (Rent, Chicago), was nowhere to be found. His two best friends would find him living in the past. With Omar Epps (Love & Basketball, House-TV) as Mike, Richard T. Jones (Vantage Point, Phone Booth) as Slim, Sean Nelson (Stake Land, Fresh) as young Mike and Malinda Williams (First Sunday, Soul Food-TV) as young Alicia; this film festival winner had a fun cast and great idea for a story. I enjoyed the way the story interspersed flashbacks, giving the viewer enough time to understand the relationship of the scene to present times. My issue had to do with the script. Basic humor was used too often where there really needed to be more of a gentle touch, especially when it came to characters’ past memories. Also, the direction did not flow well; at times, I felt more time needed to be spent on each main character. Overall this was not a great film by any means, but it was not the worst either. For the fact it made me think about my old neighborhood, I was okay with watching it all the way to the end.
AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED the best way to learn about someone is to talk to her or him face to face. Words are important, but seeing a person’s eyes and hearing the inflection in their voice are just as valuable. Before dating incorporated online activity, one had the choice to call the person on the telephone or arrange to meet somewhere. Don’t laugh but earlier times involved writing a letter. I enjoyed talking on the phone to someone I was interested in initially, because I felt it allowed both people to feel more comfortable. There wasn’t the added pressure of deciding what to wear or making sure the breath was good or the hair was not sticking out or checking to make sure there was no food stuck between any teeth; for some people these were important details. In my younger days when I went out on a date it usually involved sharing a meal to start off the conversation. Restaurants provided extra subject matter to a conversation, especially if the conversation had lulls in it. On a first date I tried to avoid doing an activity with a set time like a movie or concert. The reason being it did not provide a space to continue any type of meaningful conversation, not to say there always needed to be; but to sit in a dark theater for a couple of hours with someone I barely knew seemed weird to me. HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED FOR THOSE in the dating world now. And I cannot even imagine how dating will look once states begin to open up. Let me start prior to the pandemic; there are more options now for those who want to meet someone than when I was starting out in the dating world. With online dating services and apps a person can see whom they would like to meet. I remember talking with a friend about an online dating service and telling him a good bio is the catalyst to get someone to click on your profile. Some people prefer using the apps where they simply swipe to the left of right to show interest in another person. The thing I wonder about is what is going to happen now once the stay at home orders are lifted; how will an individual be able to meet someone? Looking at the children of my peers, I cannot imagine what a person would have to go through to date someone. Would the two individuals have to take their temperatures or answer a series of questions? It is going to be a whole different world and that is why I enjoyed watching this film festival winner’s take on the classic story of Cyrano de Bergerac. KNOWN FOR WRITING GRADE A SCHOOL PAPERS for a fee, high school football player Paul Musky, played by Daniel Diemer (Family Pictures-TV Movie, Sacred Lies-TV), was willing to pay anything to have fellow student Ellie Chu, played by Leah Lewis (Station 19-TV, Nancy Drew-TV), write a love letter to a girl he was interested in. Writing about love was not Ellie’s forte. With Collin Chou (The Matrix franchise, The Forbidden Kingdom) as Edwin Chu, Alexis Lemire (The Art of Murder-TV Movie, Truth or Dare-TV Movie) as Aster Flores and Wolfgang Novogratz (Assassination Nation, Sierra Burgess is a Loser) as Trig Carson; this romantic comedy spun a fresh take on the old story. I though the cast was excellent, especially Leah and Daniel. Despite having a few misfires in several scenes, there was a certain charm and sweetness to this picture. Also, I enjoyed the humor that was infused into the story. This film can stand proudly in the way it delivered a solid movie watching experience and who knows, someone may learn the importance of the written word.
EACH OF US HAS EMOTIONAL NEEDS such as love, growth and significance. If one begins to feel empty, there is usually a negative feeling ready to fill the void. During those times where I was feeling alone, as if I was the only one of my kind, I filled my emptiness with food. Coming into the house with grocery bags filled with some of my favorite foods would provide me with a short-lived euphoria of comfort. At one point I was eating frozen pizza 2 to 3 times a day; that is how intense I was reacting to the emptiness. My attempts at love kept failing because of my lack of love for myself. It took a lot of hard work and discipline to recognize what I was doing with food and deciding to make some changes. All considering, based on what I have seen regarding what people use to fill a void, I am grateful I only used food to fill the emptiness inside of me. During my period of change it always fascinated or maybe I should say troubled me that this void inside constantly needed to be filled. When I experimented with things I thought might fill it, I never found myself reaching a level of comfort. I certainly got an understanding of what it meant to be “comfortable in one’s own skin.” WHILE I WAS ON MY JOURNEY of self-discovery, a friend of mine was being forced into one. She had been married for 20-25 years when I first met her. She had a great sense of humor and a personality to match. Yet, there was something I saw in her eyes that troubled me. It was a look that was familiar to me. During the life of our friendship I watched as her personality, humor and self-worth faded away. She would never talk about it; but I could see when she said anything about her husband, the life in her would die down like a campfire at the end of an evening. It was painful to see the life being sucked out of her and no matter what I said to her, nothing worked. It was not until a couple of years later when the door opened a crack and she revealed the pain she was in from her loveless marriage. Her outlet was to delve into the world of crafts. It was shocking to know the pain she was going through was producing some incredible pieces of art. Using arts and craft as a springboard, she found her way back to herself and became strong enough to leave her husband. It turned out her husband was abusive to her. Not feeling loved by him opened a gateway where her self-worth spilled out. Gratefully she filled her void in a healthy way, unlike the main character in this film festival winning, romantic drama. STUCK IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE KATHERINE, played by Florence Pugh (Little Women, Fighting with my Family), realized what she was missing when she felt an attraction to a hired hand. That discovery started Katherine on a path of filling the void inside of her with darkness. With Cosmo Jones (Hunter Killer, The Marker) as Sebastian, Paul Hilton (Doctor Faustus, Eternal Beauty) as Alexander, Naomi Ackie (The Corrupted, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker) as Anna and Christopher Fairbank (The Fifth Element, Guardians of the Galaxy) as Boris; this film grabbed my interest from the beginning. The reason for it was Florence Pugh. She was such a presence in the story; I could not stop watching her in the role. Set in rural England during the 19th century, the story started out slow and deliberate. The scenes appeared authentic and only added to the shifting moods that took place through the script. I will say at times the script drifted off track, but for me this was not a glaring issue because of Florence’s acting. With the present situation regarding the ability to see films, this one filled a void in me for well-done movies.
3 ¼ stars