Flash Movie Review: Baywatch

THEY appeared to know each other but were not friends. Dressed similarly in tank tops and baggy sweatpants; they kept an eye on each other, thinking they were being discreet. I knew better because I would notice the things they did while working out on the fitness floor. Before or after my class I would hang out on the fitness floor to do some strength training exercises. Seeing these two young guys in the same area for several weeks, I started to notice they were not workout buddies; they were competing with each other, attempting to exert their dominance by being the best. What I mean is they would try to out lift each other using free weights. If one guy was doing chest presses, the other would start to do them but with slightly more weight on the barbell. Once the first guy caught sight of his “opponent” lifting more weight, he would stop and add more weight. This pattern would go on until they went from doing 15 reps down to 1; it was comical to watch.     THERE is something about some men’s testosterone that pushes them over the edge. Those two guys on the fitness floor are still at it, trying to top each other. Since I am at that between age, between birth and death, I can sit back and just observe some of these antics and shake my head. And trust me it is not just the younger generation; I still get from time to time some older member coming up to me in the locker room and making some lewd comment about me teaching “a classroom full of ladies.” Without being rude, since I am an employee of the fitness center, I find a way to give them a quick response that masks my displeasure and get away from them as quick as possible. I felt the same way about watching this action dramatic comedy.     FORCED to do community service former Olympic swimming champion Matt Brody, played by Zac Efron (Dirty Grandpa, Neighbors franchise), thought being a lifeguard would be a no-brainer of a job. That all changed when a dead body washed up on shore. This film loosely based on the television show starred Dwayne Johnson (The Fast & Furious franchise, Pain & Gain) as Mitch Buchannon, Priyanka Chopra (Don franchise, Quantico-TV) as Victoria Leeds, Alexandra Daddario (The Choice, San Andreas) as Summer Quinn and Jon Bass (Loving, All Nighter) as Ronnie Greenbaum. I vaguely remember the TV series but I am sure it was nothing like what I saw in this movie. For me the best part of this film was Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron and the outtakes at the beginning of the credits. One cannot help but enjoy Dwayne’s effort and Zac’s comedic timing. Outside of that the story was overloaded and bulky; sort of like Dwayne’s muscles and Zac’s attitude. The script was awful as it was filled with foul language and sexual references. I did not find it funny simply because more than one or two swear words or sexual innuendos is cheap humor in my opinion. Now there were a few fun sarcastic lines in the script, but there was not enough to entertain me for the duration of the picture. Based on the crowd in the theater, the main purpose for seeing this film as far as I could tell was for the eye candy. No matter how many lifeguards were in this movie, it could not be saved.

 

1 ½ stars

 

 

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About moviejoltz

From a long line of movie afficionados, one brother was the #1 renter of movies in the country with Blockbuster, I am following in the same traditions that came before me. To balance out the long hours seated in dark movie theaters, I also teach yoga and cycling. For the past 3 years, I have correctly picked the major Oscar winners... so join me as we explore the wonder of movies and search for that perfect 4 star movie.

Posted on May 31, 2017, in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. I’m passing on this … thanks for taking one for the team. 🙂

  2. It’s such a pity this movie is a turkey as I think a fully comedic version of that camp, hammy TV show could have been fun. It seems this is another example of reboots being flaccid and of ideas being squandered through poor screenwriting.

  3. I wish there were more original movies instead of remakes of old stuff. 🙂

  4. Mom/dad went and saw this movie – not particularly for the story line (were never big Baywatch fans). They went because the movie was partially made at Tybee Island, Georgia (which is mom/dad’s favorite place in the entire world). In fact, mom/dad happened to be at Tybee Island for a big part of the filming. Part of the movie, mom/dad spent looking out for all of the places they have been to and know on the island. As far as the movie line, it wasn’t the most horrible of all movies – nothing like Baywatch really. And the cameos of David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson – OMP – boy we are all getting old aren’t we? Snorts and oinks. XOXO – Bacon

    • That is so cool that it was filmed at your parents’ favorite destination. I’m glad they enjoyed the film and yes, it was fun seeing David and Pamela. Thank you for your comments.

  5. I was actually a big fan of the original tv series when it came out, and for nostalgic reasons I even own it on dvd. This movie however I am going to pass up on, as it has pretty much nothing to do with the original series. I don’t think that even The Rock’s performance could have saved this movie. It’s a shame really that lately every classic tv series seems to be getting a remake that pretty much destroys the original. Chips, and the remake of the MacGuyver tv series being another two great examples. Or maybe I am just getting old, that might be it as well lol😂 Great post as always!

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