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Flash Movie Review: Show Dogs

THROUGHOUT THE PAST DECADES WE have been witnesses to some of the greatest animal and human relationships. There was Lassie and Timothy, where Lassie was the only one who knew Timothy was in the well. Though Charlie Brown had no idea that his dog Snoopy was an ace pilot, they were the best of friends. Shaggy could not have solved all those mysteries without Scooby, who some of you might not know was named Scoobert “Scooby” Doo. Do you know who discovered the true identity of the Wizard of Oz? It was Dorothy’s dog Toto. Without Hooch’s help Turner would not have been able to find a murderer. Based on a true story I learned about the bond between Parker Wilson and Hachi; his faithful dog who waited years for his owner to return. And how could I not mention one of the longest friendships between characters; of course, I am talking about Mickey Mouse and Pluto. I am not going to limit it to just dogs; the bond between an owner and their pet is truly special. Growing up I had a parakeet. One of my best friends had fish which used to creep me out because they were always dying so quickly.      THROUGH MY STUDIES I HAVE BEEN fortunate enough to have been exposed to a variety of animals. Nothing quite exotic in my opinion; I guess bats would be the most for me. However, I did meet a dairy cow who had a screwcap affixed to the side of her belly. You could unscrew it and peer inside one of the compartments of the cow’s stomach. In college I spent a semester tending to a horse. From cleaning her stall to washing her to getting riding lessons; I was with her on a weekly basis. I overcame my uncomfortableness with reptiles after having a professor who was a big fan of them. He would lecture with a snake draped around his neck. Having a relationship with an animal is such a nurturing experience; look at what happened between Ken and Flicka. There is an unconditional love that forms in these relationships. From my personal experience looking into a dog’s eyes says it all in my opinion. Now I know some people go a step further by transferring human emotions onto their pets. They imagine their animal will have similar reactions to an event as they do. And sometimes they will even dress up their animal with human clothing. Somehow, I do not see that happening with the police dog in this adventure comedy.      THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO discover the identity of a global animal smuggler; police dog Max, voiced by Ludacris (Fast & Furious franchise, No Strings Attached), would have to go undercover at a dog show to help Detective Frank, played by Will Arnett (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Arrested Development-TV), find the culprit. It was a whole different world from where Max came from. This family film also had Alan Cumming (The Tempest, The Good Wife-TV) voicing Dante, Natasha Lyonne (The Rambler, Orange is the New Black-TV) voicing Mattie and Stanley Tucci (The Hunger Games franchise, Big Night) voicing Philippe. The story was simple in this picture and the script was even lower. Except for small children (ALERT: there is an inappropriate scene that last I heard was going to be re-edited, please check before going) there is no reason to sit through this film I am sad to say. I was bored beyond belief as the lame jokes fell flat, which pretty much summed up the acting—flat. Every time Will spoke all I thought about was Batman. There was nothing fun being offered to the older viewers; in other words, anyone above 8 years old. I am an animal lover but I have had more fun sitting at home watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show on television.

 

1 ½ stars

 

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Flash Movie Review: Strange Magic

Their skin had a distinct glow that made it look like soft amber. Only their teeth, when revealed in a wide smile, could outshine the beauty of their skin. If one could pull their gaze from that face and widen it to include the rest of the body, they would see a sculpted form that would remain solid as a statue in any environment. There are some people whose heart would lasso such a being, letting their love wash all over them. Unfortunately they do not realize one very important reality; there is a slow moving poison pushing inside of them. I refer to this condition as “dark heart.” The individual may be the perfect fit for what you consider to be beautiful; however, there is darkness inside of them. You may remember I consider our bodies to be rented, that they are constantly in a state of change. So I put little emphasis on the external side of a person. I find someone who displays things like kindness, honesty and respect to be much more interesting. Things like hair and height have no relevance in determining if a person is a good human being or not.    EVEN in a world inhabited by elves and fairies, true love can have a strong influence. When the Bog King, voiced by Alan Cumming (Spy Kids franchise, The Good Wife-TV), kidnapped Marrianne’s, voiced by Evan Rachel Wood (Across the Universe, The Ides of March), sister and held her hostage until he received a magical potion; it would take someone with a determined will to combat all the forces that were put in place. Based on a story by George Lucas (Star Wars franchise, American Graffiti), this animated fantasy was not only colorful to watch, it was one of the oddest movies I have seen in a while. The idea behind the story was solid and I could relate to it; however, having various characters break out into popular songs from the past decades to tell the story was weird. All the actors like Elijah Kelly (Hairspray, Red Tails) as Sunny and Kristin Chenoweth (The Boy Next Door, Glee-TV) as the Sugar Plum Fairy were in good voice, but I did not care too much for any of the characters that were voiced. The villain character was weak which contributed to me remaining bored throughout the movie. Honestly this film was not only dull it had little magic compared to recent animated films I have seen. I was so surprised to read later that George had been developing this story for years and finally pushed it forward to become a movie. All I can say is behind this pretty facade of a film there was only boring dreariness. There was an extra scene in the middle of the credits and at the end.

 

1 1/2 stars

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