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Flash Movie Review: Super Troopers 2
IT HAS BEEN YEARS SINCE I thought about a game we had to play in PE class. My adult self cannot believe we had to play what now looks like a brutal, archaic competition. The class would be split in half by whoever the gym teacher chose to be team captains for that week. There was a green line that was painted down the center of the gymnasium which neither team could pass. With 3 balls placed equal distance apart on the line the gym teacher would blow a whistle to start the game. The fastest running students from each side would sprint to the center to retrieve one of the balls. From there utter chaos would take place. You see the point of the game was to hit a student from the opposing side with the ball, to kick him out of the game. No matter where the ball touched the student, they would be eliminated and have to go sit in the bleachers until the game was over. The aggressive students or to be more accurate, the mean students would purposely try to hit the students in the head with the ball; this was usually followed with a cheer or laughter. As I am writing this I still have no idea how this game was promoting good health. THE GYM TEACHER CALLED THIS game “Bombardment.” I do not know if that is the real name or if in fact he just made this game up for his own enjoyment. It floors me that an activity like that was even approved by the principal, school district or whatever agency oversees school curriculum. You should have seen how hard the ball was thrown at the heads of kids by the “rougher” students; you could actually see their heads snap back by the force of the ball. The more timid students would stay all the way in the back, right up against the wall to avoid getting hit. However the downside of doing this was opening up the possibility they would be one of the last standing, giving the opposing team the opportunity to grab all the balls and pummel the poor student at the same time. I thought the whole thing was barbaric then as I do now. There was no purpose as far as I could tell in participating in such a violent game. In today’s world I am sure this game would have been banned from all schools. It needs to stay in the past, just like this sequel should have done. UNDER A GOVERNMENT PROPOSAL A small Canadian town would become part of the United States. This meant the Canadian Mounties were being replaced by the Super Troopers. Not everyone was on board with this transition to the point they wanted to sabotage the plan. This comedy starred Steve Lemme (The Origins of Wit and Humor, The Slammin’ Salmon) as Mac, Eric Stolhanske (Club Dread, Beerfest) as Rabbit, Brian Cox (Troy, Adaptation) as Captain O’Hagan, Jay Chandrasekhar (Beerfest, Speechless-TV) as Thorny and Kevin Heffernan (The Dukes of Hazzard, Club Dread) as Farva. After 17 years this group returns in a story that was weak right from the start. I do not remember the first film so maybe diehard fans will appreciate this movie. I found it painful; the so called humor was dated, cheap and offensive. I felt like I was surrounded by those students I described above; that is how infantile some of the characters were in their scenes. Honestly I could not wait for this film to be over since I felt like I was being beaten by the barrage of dated material. If this is the best the writers could come up with after 17 years then I vote for Canada to annex this franchise and put a stop to it.
1 ¼ stars
Flash Movie Review: I Feel Pretty
TOO MANY OF THE CLOTHES IN our closets have power over us. This unusual strength was not woven into the fabric or sprayed with a special enhancing elixir or studded with armor plating; it simply was chosen to hide our insecurities. I see it in my fitness classes all the time. Some members walk in with a sense of purpose, a directness that stands out from those who feel intimidated or uncomfortable about themselves. The reason I am even aware of it is because I am guilty of the same lack of confidence as they are; however, I hide it in different ways. When members enter the studio they have the option of where to place themselves. The ones who feel comfortable about themselves tend to wear more colorful clothing and pick places closer to the front of the class, while those with less confidence tend to don darker colors and drift into the back rows. What a member wears can say something about their attitude. For myself I wear workout clothing a size larger so I can shut down the critical side of my mind that has always judged how I look. This has been going on for years and is caused by a lack of confidence. CONFIDENCE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN elusive creature for me. I do not believe people are born with it; it is something that has to be nurtured and fed to grow inside of us, starting when we are very small. There also has to be the right amount of encouragement and positive reinforcement to avoid getting a swelled head. I have a tuxedo hanging in my closet and it is amazing how much influence it has over me. When I am wearing it I feel like I am a different person; I have confidence, feel good about myself and get a sense that I belong. Yes I am aware that sounds ridiculous but nonetheless that is how I feel. Intellectually I am aware it comes down to confidence; I feel more confident because I am dressed in a tuxedo. Part of the reason why I feel this way is because of marketing. Have any of you ever seen a person dressed in a tuxedo and assumed they were a geek? No, you probably think that person is suave and debonair just like James Bond or George Clooney, when they are wearing a tuxedo. The message in this comedy film will show you what I mean. AFTER BEING KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS IN her cycle class Renee Bennett, played by Amy Schemer (Snatched, Thank You for Your Service), came to and was stunned to see her transformation. She was ready to take on the world and reach her dreams. She needed to be careful for what she dreamed for. With Michelle Williams (All the Money in the World, Manchester by the Sea) as Avery LeClaire, Tom Hopper (Game of Thrones-TV, Merlin-TV) as Grant LeClair, Rory Scovel (The House, Dean) as Ethan and Adrian Martinez (Focus, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty) as Mason; I absolutely was on board with the message this film was trying to convey. However the script never dug below the surface, keeping everything on predictable levels with easy jokes. It really was a shame because the writers could have done so much more to make the story a better-rounded one. I actually did not find much humor in the scenes except for maybe a couple of them. Most things were done with a heavy hand as if the writers wanted to drive the point home because they felt the viewers would not get it. Almost in an ironic way I felt the script was written with too much confidence that took the strength away from the message.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: Isle of Dogs
RETIRING BACK TO BED I could see the eyes looking up at me from my pillow. As I came to the edge of the bed there lying in my spot, with the covers pulled up to his neck, was our dog. He looked up at me as if to say, “Is there something I can help you with?” I grant you he looked totally comfortable and in place, but c’mon; he already had his own bed to sleep in. Anytime I had to get up in the middle of the night he would immediately jump into our bed once I was out of the room; he was such a character. Dogs have such a beautiful outlook on life I believe. They give unconditional love, get such pleasure in the most mundane of things like a stick or used sock and can be such great companions. To return the favor whenever I would say “doggie massage” our dog would immediately plop down on his side so I could give him a body massage. ANOTHER ASPECT OF A DOG’S LIFE is their ability to instinctively protect a person. However some dogs may have their priorities a bit confused; ours felt the need to protect us from small children. It was the weirdest thing. If we were walking outside and a small child was nearby our dog would stop and stare at them. A low warning growl would be heard despite our pleas to relax. We could never figure out what his deal was about small children. Right now my neighbors got a 2nd dog who is a real cutie. Anytime I walk out the back door and she is in the backyard she quickly crouches down into play mode, with her butt in the air and her upper torso stretched out down on the ground. Her front paws directly out in front of her in anticipation. She waits until I call out her name then bounds over to the fence for me to pet her; unless I am wearing a hat, then all things change. She does not like me in a hat because she will bark at me non-stop, staying just out of reach behind the fence. Despite that quirk I still am quite fond of her which explains why I understood the reason the owner risked his life to find his dog in this film festival winning movie. AFTER THE MAYOR BANNED FROM THE city all dogs Atari, voiced by newcomer Kofu Rankin, was willing to risk his life to find his best friend. Written and directed by Wes Anderson (Moonrise Kingdom, Rushmore) this adventure comedy was so much fun to watch due to the creative animation. If you saw Wes’ movie Fantastic Mr. Fox then you are familiar with this style of stop-motion animation. With Bryan Cranston (Trumbo, Why Him?) voicing Chief, Edward Norton (American History, Pride and Glory) voicing Rex, Bill Murray (Lost in Translation, Groundhog Day) voicing Boss and Jeff Goldblum (The Fly, The Grand Budapest Hotel) voicing Duke; everyone blended perfectly into the well thought out detailed script. I found the story quite relevant and appreciated the way Wes incorporated humor into the political scenes. Now the script is not without a couple of dings; there were a few times where I felt the story dragged a bit. It did not hinder my enjoyment because the visuals were just so much darn fun. I honestly do not know if small children will understand the whole concept of this picture, but I cannot imagine their curiosity will not be piqued. Even if you are not a dog lover I feel you will still appreciate the love between a boy and his dog.
3 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Flower
IT SOUNDED LIKE A SOLID game plan. We were going to drive an 18 foot van filled with all of his furnishings from Arizona to relocate him to Colorado. Attached to the van would be a trailer to haul his car. Since he had more experience than me driving trucks it was decided he would do all the driving and I would be the navigator. We left on a hot sunny day; the air conditioning in the cab groaning as it tried to lower the temperature. I joked that I felt like we were starring in a remake of an old Lucille Ball movie where her and Desi played newlyweds that decided to drive a trailer across country. We christened the truck and trailer the “Beast” because it felt so massive to us. Neither of us realized with it being packed full, our ability to keep up with traffic made it feel as if the truck was lumbering like a grizzly bear looking for a place to hibernate. All things considered we could not complain; the weather stayed sunny, there was no construction or road blocks and our route would mostly be all highway driving. ONCE WE DROVE INTO COLORADO our drive would take a perilous turn. The Rockies stood ahead of us, as if they were daring us to try and get through them. It did not occur to either of us that the bogged down van would struggle through the mountain passes. Actually going uphill was not as scary as downhill. There were some cars that honked at us because we were not keeping up with the speed limit; like we had a choice, the poor van felt like it was trembling in fear. I wanted to ask about the sounds I was hearing out of the engine; but my friend was concentrating so hard on keeping the van steady, I did not want to distract him. We were halfway through the mountains and it was still light out gratefully; we did not want to be stuck there after sundown. It was not until we were finally going downhill before I felt any calmness. It did not last long because anytime we were going downhill the van wanted to go faster. It was like the Beast had woken up, ravenous for a meal. My friend had to ride the brakes which caused them to heat up and emit this burning smell that filled the cab. I was freaking out, afraid the brakes would give out and we would hurl down the road, knocking drivers out of the way. Never had I been so frightened and vowed I would never be part of such a plan again. Too bad there was no one among the young adults in this film festival nominated, dramatic comedy that had the same feelings as I did regarding their plan. WHEN HER MOTHER’S BOYFRIEND’S SON comes to live with them Erica, played by Zoey Deutch (Why Him? Everybody Wants Some!!), doesn’t want anything to do with him. That is until he tells her a secret about a man she has been crushing on. With Kathryn Hahn (Bad Moms franchise, Bad Words) as Laurie, Adam Scott (The Vicious Kind, Step Brothers) as Will and Eric Edelstein (Jurassic World, Green Room) as Dale; I felt the script was written to shock the viewer from the get go. The story had some similarities to others of this type but what pulled me in was Zoey’s amazing performance. She really took over the screen from everyone else; I honestly had no idea she could act this well. As a whole this movie watching experience was a mixed bag. There were scenes that felt fresh and new, but then others seemed redundant to me. Honestly I still am not sure I cared for the way the story ended. Maybe with more planning from the writers and director this film would have had a bigger impact on me.
2 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Sherlock Gnomes
NOT ONLY HAD I NEVER seen one, I never even heard about them. Walking into their house for the first time, I was introduced to a pleasant couple who were friends with my friend. They were hosting a get together and my friend brought me along. After the introductions they led us into their living room. It took me a moment to take it all in but across most of the flat surfaces in the room, such as shelves and tables, there were these ceramic gnomes everywhere. It was so utterly odd to me and there were so many of them; all different kinds from wizen elderly males to young teenagers to busy looking females. Evidently the expression on my face telegraphed my surprise for the hosts took the liberty of telling me the history of several of their gnomes. I found out the artist who created them always placed some type of object on the piece as a surprise. Oh and I almost forgot, each gnome had a name and a history about their life. SEVERAL YEARS LATER I WAS killing time in a resale shop. As I made my way through the aisles I came to a section that held house wares. There was an entire shelving unit filled with the same type of gnomes I remembered from that dinner party back then. All of them were lined up into rows as if they were all sitting in a theater to watch a movie. I never knew how much were the original prices for these gnomes, but I could not resist checking what they were being priced at in this resale store. A majority of the larger ones were priced at $5.00 and the smaller ones at $3.00. I had to assume this was a major bargain. What is that saying, one person’s junk is another person’s treasure? Based on the traces of dust covering some of the gnomes I assumed they had been sitting there a long time; I guess there is not a need for people to have gnomes in their house or garden currently. It is funny because I wound up feeling the same regarding this animated, adventure comedy sequel. AFTER SETTLING INTO THEIR NEW home Gnomeo and Juliet, voiced by James McAvoy (Split, The Last King of Scotland) and Emily Blunt (The Girl on the Train, Into the Woods), expected with a little work to have the perfect garden. However when their fellow gnomes went missing the only one who could hopefully solve the mystery was the top detective Sherlock Gnomes, voiced by Johnny Depp (Black Mass, The Long Ranger) and his companion Dr. Watson, voiced by Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave, 2012). The idea for this story was cute in this film. With decent animation and a soundtrack provided by Elton John’s songs I thought this would have been a fun film. Just as I was stunned seeing all those gnomes in that couple’s house, I was dumbfounded by how poorly written was the script. This picture was boring to me; there was nothing funny or cute about it. Maybe a narrow group of children would like this film; but where I expected a theater with children to be noisy, in my viewing there were barely any sounds coming from the audience. I had to fight to stay attentive to what was going on in the story. For the most part I felt myself wanting to doze off, but forced myself to stay awake. It was a late viewing for me, but that was not the reason. Like the fate of Beanie Babies and pet rocks, this movie will probably make it to the discount bin in quick time.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: The Party
SITTING AT THE TABLE WITH no one to talk to was making me uncomfortable. There were at least a dozen people sitting around the long table, but I did not know any of them. I was supposed to meet a friend at this gathering but after I arrived at the restaurant they texted they were still stuck at work. Since I was already there I tried to make the best of it. The group met once a month at this particular restaurant but throughout the year they planned different cultural events; my friend and I thought it would be something worth checking out. After I was seated and introductions were made all around, it became apparent to me that everyone there knew each other. I was the odd man out. Some of the individuals sitting around asked me a couple of questions like where I was from and what did I do for a living, but afterwards their attention was drawn back to their friends or people they already knew. THOUGH THIS WAS NOT THE type of venue where I would bring something, I should have brought my old standby anyway. There is this little bakery I know that has been open more than 50 years. It is sort of like an old world type of place where they bake a variety of items. One in particular is my favorite and whenever I bring them to a gathering the folks there gather around and talk to me about the item. Light and airy, shaped into curved oblong commas, they have a sprinkling of sugar on top. I know a majority of people would bring a bottle of wine; I prefer bringing baked goods. It is difficult to attend a party where you hardly know any of the guests and I have found this item can break the ice with most people. Personally I quickly withdraw from a party when I see guests have gathered into their own little cliques. It reminds me of the divisions that were in place in high school. And since I am not a drinker, when guests at a party start acting silly from too much alcohol I wrap things up and say my goodbyes. Nothing worse than being at a party with an out of control guest; so I better warn you the guests at the party in this dramatic comedy are one intense group. ON THE NIGHT JANET, PLAYED by Kristin Scott Thomas (The English Patient, Four Weddings and a Funeral) throws a dinner party her husband Bill, played by Timothy Spall (Mr. Turner, Secrets & Lies), waits until the guests arrived before making an announcement. This film festival winning movie also starred Patricia Clarkson (The Station Agent, The Green Mile) as April, Emily Mortimer (Match Point, Lars and the Real Girl) as Jinny and Cherry Jones (The Perfect Storm, The Village) as Martha. Hands down Patricia was the star of this film, though the rest of the cast was excellent; she stood out for me. I am sure part of it was due to the acidic script. The direction was fine but as the story unfolded I never quite felt engaged with any of the characters. At one point it just seemed like a lot of chaos was taking place; I found myself wanting to tune out. It was too bad, because I enjoyed the picture being filmed in black and white along with some of the wicked lines in the script. By the time the movie was over I was glad I was not invited to this party.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Gringo
THOUGH I WOULD LIKE EVERYONE to act in an honest and ethical way, I am sure there is a lot that goes on in the business world that would shock me. Not just big corporations, I am sure it trickles down to small shop owners. I have a couple of friends who ran a medical practice and I used to get surprised by the things they told me they encountered during the average work day. Drug salespeople were constantly dropping in hoping to catch a quick meeting with the doctor. If they could not meet on their first attempt, some would try to bring in lunch for the staff. I assume they were hoping they could entice the doctor to meet them over a meal. There was one salesperson who would stock their cabinet with trial size packages of the drug they were representing; however, they always either pushed back their competitor’s product to the back of the shelf or even took some of it away. Through my friends’ years at the medical practice I was astounded by the amount of free products the drug reps would try to leave at the office. I had to wonder if the drug company eliminated the free trial size portions would they lower the prices of their drugs. THE PAST WEEK A FORMER pharmaceutical executive was sentenced to prison for fraud. I think the verdict is just since he broke the law; but this is the same person who raised the price of a life-saving drug from $13.50 a pill to $750.00. Now I am all for everyone making a profit but gouging the public is simply wrong. The percentage of that price increase covers the price of inflation for centuries. Granted having the product billed as a lifesaver makes it worse, but I would feel the same way if a company increased the price of their bread by some exorbitant price. The difference is they would never do it because one can always buy a loaf of bread from a different company. People in business who only think of themselves and are willing to sacrifice the consumer to get ahead are no different in my opinion to those malicious email attachments seeking your bank information. And as a side note the latest statistics show those emails increased by 300% in the last quarter of 2017. Despite the crooked and unethical things I have mentioned, I was shocked by what I saw in this action crime comedy. WANTING TO BE THE FIRST to come to market with a brand new drug medical executive Richard Rusk, played by Joel Edgerton (Red Sparrow, The Great Gatsby), was willing to do anything to succeed. This would put his employees in a precarious predicament. With Charlize Theron (Atomic Blonde, Mad Max: Fury Road) as Elaine Markinson, David Oyelowo (A United Kingdom, Queen of Katwe) as Harold Soyinka, Thandie Newton (Crash, 2012) as Bonnie Soyinka and Amanda Seyfried (Dear John, Mamma Mia!) as Sunny; I felt the cast choices were way better than the roles they were given to play. The script started out promising to me but as time went on I thought the addition of multiple story lines and the under developed characters bogged it down. I actually do not recall anything funny in this film. Instead I thought the story was a generic version of several “chase” films I have seen before. Even with the acting I felt Charlize was the most authentic; I can only assume David wanted to do something totally different, but it did not work for me. This movie has to make one wonder if all involved producing it were sampling the drug that was coming to market in this story.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: Love, Simon
THE ABSENCE OF LOVE DOES not necessarily mean that the empty space has been filled in with hate. Until the heart has grown up its loves tend to be relatives, friends and inanimate objects. It is not until one crosses over the border into true love where hate may become a future player. I have, as I am sure many of you, experienced a love shared that comes to an end. Not the type where both parties have agreed to move on, I am talking where one person breaks trust with the other. This is where hate can take over; but I am getting ahead of myself. As far as I am concerned anyone who can experience love will live I believe a more satisfying life. It is so much easier to love than hate someone and love is different for everyone. Do you remember the first time you went out on a date? It can be a scary and exhilarating experience all at the same time. DATING SOMEONE USED TO BE A ritual where 2 people would have to meet face to face; unless of course it was a blind date, but even then each person’s 1st contact (such a Star Trek comment) would be a face to face encounter. I am guessing for some of you this is a foreign concept? With the introduction of the internet, dating has taken on a whole new persona. For some their comfort is getting to learn about a person before committing to meet them; others may have specific ideas on what would create a comfortable environment. I remember in school when everyone started or attempted to date someone. There were some students who were interested in the person they wanted to go out with on a date. And there were some who would settle for anyone or almost anyone to date just so they would not be perceived as being different. Ahh, different; now there is a word most people do not want to take on as a label for themselves. Now here is the funny thing, what one considers different may be the exact thing someone else finds attractive. Plus I like to say, “Different from what?” When it comes to love of the heart, there really is very little difference from person to person. BURDENED WITH A DEEP SECRECT Simon Spier, played by Nick Robinson (Jurassic World, The Kings of Summer), felt he was the only one. It was not until he heard about someone’s posted comments that he felt he could experience something his friends had felt. This dramatic romantic comedy also starred Josh Duhamel (Safe Haven, Transformers franchise) as Jack Spier, Jennifer Garner (Mother’s Day, Danny Collins) as Emily Spier, Alexandra Shipp (Straight Outta Compton, X-Men: Apocalypse) as Abby Suso and Logan Miller (Before I Fall, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past) as Martin Addison. For a coming of age story I felt this script did it justice. There was an easy blend of drama and comedy that the cast convincingly portrayed. I did feel some scenes were farfetched or cheesy but all in all the writers tried to maintain a realistic setting as they gave each character their own issues. High school already comes with its own potholes and I enjoyed the way the cast made their way through the obstacles. As a side note I was surprised by the crowd’s reactions to this film. They all seemed to be into the story; in fact, at one point the 2 young adults or teenagers (it was hard to tell in the dark) next to me were crying what I think were tears of joy. This film is not so different from other similar movies; however, it does a better than average job in telling its story.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Game Night
I DO NOT THINK I would ever be accused of being a game snob; at least I don’t think so. Games provide two important functions in my opinion: they activate the brain and instill a sense of pleasure and fun in the individual. When one can assemble a group of willing participants into playing a game, they should consider it an achievement. I say this because I have been a part of several game nights where there were players who made sure everyone knew they were not having fun. Or worse yet I knew this man (a friend was dating him) who was one of the worst game players I have ever encountered in my entire life. He would yell, scream and belittle any of his teammates if they were not doing what HE thought they should be doing to win the game. It was so awful to sit there and have this guy dramatically, yes dramatically, talk down to someone for making a move that did not help their team’s score. I finally told my friend I would never play with them again; gratefully she stopped dating him soon after. ON THE OTHER HAND I have played with some people who were so disinterested that you had to literally tell them what to do throughout the whole game. They would not pay attention to when it was their turn, the rules or what their teammates were doing when it was their turns; it made one wonder why they agreed to play a game in the first place. Now I do not have an issue with anyone saying they are not interested in playing something; if they want to sit it out I am fine with it. But if you agree to play a game I feel one should at least show an effort and if need be become a team player. When you have several people on one team with one person who is not engaged with everyone else, it does throw the game off. I remember when I was participating on a bowling team and one of the players made no effort in playing; I mean they would just pick up a bowling ball and throw it down the alley without any concern if they hit a pin or not. The rest of the team you could tell was not happy they had this person as a teammate. It just made for an uncomfortable time and that is not something I want to be a part of; the same could be said for either of the teams in this mystery crime comedy. THE GAME NIGHT HOSTED BY Annie and Max, played by Rachel McAdams (Spotlight, The Notebook) and Jason Bateman (Bad Words, The Family Fang), was in for a surprise when Max’ super competitive brother Brooks, played by Kyle Chandler (Manchester by the Sea, Friday Night Lights-TV), showed up and decided to take the competition up a notch with a murder mystery game. Even when there was an actual kidnapping the players continued on with the game. With Sharon Horgan (Imagine Me & You, Man Up) as Sarah and Billy Magnussen (The Big Short, Into the Woods) as Ryan, this cast was exceptionally well suited for the script. I particularly thought Jason and Rachel were perfect playing off of each other. The story seemed familiar to me, but at least there were a few good laughs in the movie. I actually liked seeing Kyle in a different type of role for himself and thought he handled it well; his fight scenes were really good. There are some twists to the plot and those who have a sibling might relate to the sibling rivalry angle. The odds are tipped in favor of having an easy, fun time watching this film.
2 ½ stars
