FRIENDS HAVE TOLD ME I should write a book about all the excuses I have heard to end a relationship. You might think I am making them up but that is not the case; some of the ones I will list here were given to me. One of my favorites is the one where our relationship had to end because I lived in the suburbs. It wasn’t as if I resided in the farthest suburb that was miles away, where one needed to pack a lunch before heading out. My house was literally 5 blocks from the city limits; from my place to theirs was a total of six miles that was easily accessible by car, bus or train. From someone else their reason to me why they were ending the relationship was because I walked too fast. My response was to ask if it had ever occurred to them to ask me to slow down. How was I supposed to know otherwise? I have long legs; so, I guess I cover more ground quicker than someone with shorter legs? Several of the other excuses that people have told me they heard were: you are too intense, we have different interests and you are not an animal lover. AN IMPORTANT LESSON I LEARNED ABOUT break-ups is to not take them personally. I know, it can be hard not to take them personally; but in my experiences a majority of the time I had not caused the separation between us. There were times where I later found out they were going through personal issues that had nothing to do with me. I will say I have gained something from every person I have ever dated. At the time I may not have understood what insight I had received; but eventually, it would reveal itself to me so that I could get a better understanding about myself. Sound too deep? Yea, I agree; I do not want to turn this review into a session of therapy. One more thing and then I will move on; I was not always an understanding individual who would take the ending of a relationship in stride. Oh no, I could easily turn it back on them and get real ugly. There were a few where I not only gave them a piece of my mind but gave them an encyclopedia of derogatory adjectives to describe what I saw as their failings. And I never did it in a text message; unlike what happened to the poor woman in this action comedy. NOT ONLY DID AUDREY, PLAYED BY Mila Kunis (Black Swan, Bad Moms franchise), not know why her boyfriend Drew, played by Justin Theroux (The Girl on the Train, American Psycho), broke up with her; but now she was wanted by people from all over the world and not in a good way. With Kate McKinnon (Rough Night, Office Christmas Party) as Morgan, Sam Heughan (Heart of Lightness, Outlander-TV) as Sebastian and Hasan Minaj (Most Likely to Murder, The Daily Show-TV) as Duffer; if for nothing else, the only reason one needs to go see this movie is for Kate McKinnon. She is truly gifted; watching her, I had to wonder if she was ad libbing half the script. Her timing and delivery was wonderful. Mila was good; but Kate is in a different category. As for the film the script could have used a couple of rewrites. I found the story going from one outrageous caper to another, some bordering on silly. At least I did get some laughs from time to time; but these 2 actresses easily could have taken on a better developed story and script. I think with a little tweaking and work Kate and Mila could be a long-term, fun relationship.
2 ½ stars
NO MATTER HOW ENLIGHTENED we become as a society there still will be people who judge others based on their appearance. I have seen time and time again someone reacting to another person solely on their outer exterior, never taking the time in getting to know that individual. Recently I was watching a television special charity event, where the host was asking for contributions to combat a particular disability. Throughout the show they would have focus pieces devoted to different families that have a family member inflicted with the disability; one in particular struck me about a woman who could not speak. Pretty much anyone who met her assumed she did not understand them because she did not talk. I do not remember all the details but at some point in her life she was given a computer tablet. Not only was she able to work the tablet, she was able to convey intelligence with a witty sense of humor. I was mesmerized as I saw her conduct interviews with the use of a computer speech program. SPEAKING FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES I know how much influence a child’s actions and manner of dress plays a part in the pecking order that gets established among the neighborhood kids and in school. It was rare for a child labeled smart to also be considered tough. If a male showed an aptitude for one of the arts, he would be considered a “sissy.” In turn if a female excelled in what was considered a male dominated sport, she was classified as a “tomboy.” I can see decades ago when activities used to be defined more as a female/male thing; but over time attitudes changed where it was okay if a girl wanted to play a team sports and a boy to enroll in a cooking class. Yet today I still have seen or listened to someone who was discriminated or bullied because they wanted to do something different from the majority, let us say. Maybe we need to see more examples of people showing us how they cannot be fit into a stereotype, just like the main character in this animated, film festival winning adventure comedy. AS A YOUNG BULL Ferdinand, voiced by John Cena (Trainwreck, The Marine), was picked on for not wanting to grow up and fight in the bullring. His size however would make him look menacing which was exactly what a matador wanted in a bull. With Kate McKinnon (Rough Night, Ghostbusters) voicing Lupe, Bobby Cannavale (Ant-Man, Blue Jasmine) voicing Valiente and Anthony Anderson (The Departed, Hustle & Flow) voicing Bones; I thought all the actors were good, but John Cena and Kate McKinnon really brought their characters to life. He was the perfect choice for Ferdinand. I vaguely remember reading this book as a young child and back then did not see or recognize the message that was in this film’s script. Making the story more current was fine; however, there seemed to be a little too much filler throughout the picture. I think for a younger crowd it would not matter; there was enough humor and chase scenes to keep the attention of young viewers. Besides, the animation was fine and I actually liked the Spanish animated settings. The story offered a valuable lesson that I appreciated not being done in a heavy handed way. There is that old cliché, “Do not judge a book by its cover” and in the case of this movie, you might be surprised by what you see.
2 ¾ stars
IF AN OBSTACLE stops you reaching for your dream, then maybe that dream was not meant to be. If you are willing to give up easily then I do not think your heart was really into it. Imagine if scientists/inventors had given up on their projects after the first defeat. Look at the microwave oven; it came about after a scientist was experimenting with a new vacuum tube and the candy bar in his pocket started to melt. The potato chip came about in the 1850s because a chef got angry at a customer always complaining about the potatoes being served. Figuring he would teach the customer a lesson the chef sliced the potatoes thinner, fried them then covered them in salt; that is how potato chips were born. Dreams are an essential part of us being human; I know if I stopped pursuing my dreams my life would have turned out drastically different. WHEN I FAILED the practical portion of the certification process to teach fitness I got depressed. In my head I was hearing all those old tapes that were telling me I was not good enough and I was stupid for trying to be something I was not. I even heard my elementary school teacher telling me I would amount to nothing. It is interesting because those comments made to me years ago became my fuel to push myself to work harder for my dreams. I have always had the hardest time when it came to me trying to be spontaneous, so I knew that practical portion was going to be a challenge; however, I did not give up. I forced myself to practice in front of a mirror first, then friends; afterwards, I signed up again for testing and passed. Sure I was nervous standing up in front of a group of strangers, but I knew I could do it and more importantly knew I wanted to do it. Having taught now for over 20 years I know it was worth fighting back to reach my dream based on the amount of pleasure and satisfaction my job gives me every day. This is why I was hoping the main character in this animated, adventure comedy would reach her dream. IF FELICIE, VOICED by Elle Fanning (The Beguiled, 20th Century Woman), could find a way out of the orphanage she knew she had to make her way to Paris, because it was there she could follow her dream to become a great dancer. Her friend Victor, voiced by Dane DeHaan (A Cure for Wellness, Kill Your Darlings), would find a way out. Having a fondness for dance and a dream once of being a go-go dancer, I was looking forward to seeing this movie. The idea to this story was admirable; I liked the way the writers showed one should never give up on a dream. With Carly Ray Jepsen (Grease-TV movie) voicing Odette, Kate McKinnon (Rough Night, Office Christmas Party) voicing multiple characters and Tamir Kapelian (A Broken Code) voicing Rudolph; the actors’ voices were well suited for their characters. The animation was okay, nothing really stood out as special however. My issue with this film was the odd assortment of song choices, along with the timeline confusion regarding certain events. I did not think there was much humor in the script; plus I found a thread of laziness in the entire production process. This story could have been more original instead of appearing to be a Cinderella knockoff. There was a good message in the story but the script did not dream big enough.
STANDING outside the café waiting for a friend I saw a group of people goofing off across the street. One individual was using a street lamp as a stripper pole. Another person had a squirt gun; however, periodically he was squirting it into his mouth and the others around him. I assumed there was something more than water inside the play toy. Seeing this group acting silly made me reminisce about some of the pranks and laughs I had with my friends when we were younger. There was that time in biology class where we had to dissect fetal pigs. A lab partner dressed their pig up with a beret, sunglasses and lit cigarette; then had someone take pictures of him with his head next to the pig. Another time a group of us dressed up for Halloween to go to a street party down in the city. One of us was dressed as a pirate, including a fake sword. He would jump into the street and stop traffic for a moment, shouting “Yo me bucko!” We were so young back then; not a care in the world, just focusing on having a good time. RECONNECTING with people I had not seen for years was a heady experience for me. The last time some of us had seen each other we had full heads of hair, some were larger and others were thinner. It was funny how the aging process affected each of us differently. Despite the years apart there still was a bond between all of us. The thing that surprised me was how some individuals who were hard partiers back then had mellowed now. Depending on the person’s age part of the discussion drifted towards what medications we were on now; heaven help us we are turning into our parents. I understand as life goes on we each take on responsibilities; there are things I used to do back then that I would not consider doing now. Maybe this is all part of the aging process; I just know I would never act like the friends did in this comedy film. JESS’, played by Scarlett Johansson (The Avengers franchise, Lucy), upcoming bachelorette party was the perfect time for a group of girlfriends to get together and let loose. The way they used to party years ago would be hard to reproduce this time. Along with Scarlett the cast included Jillian Bell (Fist Fight, Goosebumps) as Alice, Zoe Kravitz (Divergent franchise, Good Kill) as Blair, Ilana Glazer (The Night Before, Broad City-TV) as Frankie and Kate McKinnon (Ghostbusters, Office Christmas Party) as Kiwi/Pippa. At first glance I felt the story was a female version of comedies I had seen before. The cast was talented; everyone’s timing was on mark. I had a slight issue with Jillian and Kate; their characters were no different than other characters they played in other films. Kate, who I think is gifted, seems to be the “go to” actor to play these over the top odd characters. Jillian has played the inappropriate person character before. At least there were a couple of laughs in the movie, but I found the script was all over the place. With this type of cast there could have been way more opportunities to utilize the actress’ comedic skills that the script did not offer. For having such a wild time I was left feeling bored at times. When I was younger I never partied like the women did in this picture and after watching them I have no interest in trying now. There is an extra scene in the middle of the credits and at the end.
1 ½ stars
THEY had known me for several years. Every week the friends would come to my class. After class they would stay behind to thank me or ask about a certain movement we did in class; in fact, we talked on the fitness floor whenever I was there doing weight training. So imagine how amused I was when I bumped into them at a restaurant and they did not recognize me. Not until I told them my name did they realize I was their aerobics instructor. We laughed about it as they blamed their confusion on the fact I was not dressed in my workout attire; I was dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater without my baseball cap. THIS type of scenario happens to me quite often; truth be told I have done the same thing when a member from my class comes up to me outside of the health club. Isn’t it funny how a different set of clothes and different environment alter one’s perceptions? It works the same way I believe in any work environment. I worked at a place for several years with the same employees for most of the time. Every day we would talk to each other during one of our breaks or lunchtime; but it was not until we had our 1st holiday party where I learned several of my fellow employees had a completely different life than the perceptions I had formed from our daily communications. It was almost like an alter ego; for example, there was one employee who was a falconer and another who was part of a dance troupe in the city. I do not know if we would have found these facts out if it wasn’t for that holiday party. DETERMINED to keep his company’s branch open and prove his sister CEO Carol Vanstone, played by Jennifer Aniston (We’re the Millers, Horrible Bosses franchise), wrong; Clay Vanstone, played by T.J. Miller (Deadpool, Silicon Valley-TV), decided to have a huge holiday party to woo a potential client. The only issue was whether the representative liked to party. This comedy came with quite a competent cast of actors such as Jason Bateman (The Family Fang, The Gift) as Josh Parker, Olivia Munn (Ride Along franchise, Magic Mike) as Tracey Hughes and Kate McKinnon (Ghostbusters, Masterminds) as Mary. Filmed in Chicago, the scenes were a mix of indoor and outdoor shots. The story may have been a good idea, but I did not find anything new compared to other movies of this type. There were a few scenes where I chuckled and surprisingly I thought Jason Bateman was the weak link in the story. As for the script it could have used a rewrite to tighten up some of the scenes that dragged on for me. Granted I have never attended a holiday party like the one in this film, but at some point I thought the story was getting ridiculous. The feeling I had after the film was over was neither a positive or negative one; it was just an okay feeling, though I did enjoy the outtakes early in the ending credits. If your employer throws a party like the one depicted in this picture, maybe you will have a better time watching this party.
It either floats in like a rolling fog coming down over a mountain range or bursts in like wind off of the Great Plains. No matter which way, once inside of a person the fog or wind spreads sparkles of light over a person’s heart and mind. Any rough edges are quickly filed down into soft round curves since hazard warnings are not allowed. Love has this way of taking over a person’s sense of reason, self-worth and thought processes. I am not saying this is always a bad thing; however, there is a fine line where the person in love slips up and falls into this unchecked devotion that clouds their mind. Let me tell you about a friend of mine who fell hard for this person. Right up front I will tell you I sensed something was not right after being around them for only the 2nd time. This person would regale my friend with these elaborate stories about the life they lead. They had traveled to various exotic locales, worked for the FBI, changed careers to become a top salesperson for a Fortune 500 company and so on and so on. But they slipped up without realizing it. When I mentioned I taught group fitness classes they said they used to do the same thing. A couple of innocent questions on my part confirmed this person was never certified to teach such a class. Here is the thing though, I privately told this to my friend along with my other concerns but it did not make a difference. Being in the birth stage of love my friend already had chucked rational thought from their mind. No matter what red flag popped up my friend ignored it and continued on with this person who would borrow money from time to time, never pick up a drink or restaurant tab and periodically had to be driven around because their “car was in the shop.” Love is best when it works in conjunction with a person’s mind and heart, instead of just consuming it. SECURITY guard David Ghantt, played by Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover franchise, Due Date), would do anything for fellow guard Kelly, played by Kristen Wiig (The Martian, Ghostbusters). She was not the only one who realized it. Based on true events this crime comedy also starred Owen Wilson (Midnight in Paris, No Escape) as Steve, Jason Sudeikis (Mother’s Day, We’re the Millers) as Mike McKinney and Kate McKinnon (Ghostbusters, Saturday Night Live-TV) as Jandice. None of them could help the awful script that was simply a generic version of an action comedy. The one who stood out for me was Kate; she has the best stage and screen presence in my opinion. Zach I feel is starting to be typecast with these same kinds of characters, a bit buffoonish and uncoordinated. As for the humor in this story I found very little to laugh at because I had seen the movie trailer prior. Once you have seen the trailer (even if you did not), the scenes were easy to predict. The actual story made headline news but I am afraid this movie version will quickly go to DVD. Suffice to say I did not love this film.
1 ½ stars
The street festival provided an opportunity to relive the memories of the old neighborhood of my youth. Walking the residential streets was a revelation for the homes were now freshly painted in colorful hues. Old porches and stairs that previously yawned in tiredness looked confidently strong now; I doubt they would utter a peep. The biggest surprise was the amount of foliage everywhere. As a kid I remember flowers were something one would find mostly in a backyard, not many households had them in front. Bushes covered the bottoms of houses; some planted to form a straight hedge across, others looking like tossed green gumdrops. Now as I traveled down several streets, flowers and ornamental trees were blooming everywhere. The trees that remained from my childhood had expanded and grown as if someone had pumped them up with air to look like inflated balloons at a Thanksgiving parade. When I finally reached the heart of the business area there were a few stores I remembered though they were dressed up with new signs and banners. The grocery store was replaced by one of those dollar stores and the local drugstore was now a currency exchange. Sitting in the same place was the diner I used to go to at least once a week. I had to go in and though no one looked familiar to me, the furniture had not changed. I ordered my usual and watched the cook make it as I sat on one of the dark red stools at the counter. The food came in those same plastic baskets freshly lined with wax paper. I was excited as I took my first bite, taking in the earthy aroma wafting off the pile of fries. Sadly my memories tasted better than the actual meal. The same thing could be said about this version of a comedy classic. STRANGE occurrences started popping up around New York City but only two people understood what they could be. Scientist friends Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates, played by Kristen Wiig (The Martian, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty) and Melissa McCarthy (The Boss, Spy) were convinced there was finally proof to substantiate their research. After all the talk of this science fiction fantasy reboot having a female cast it all came down to the script for me. Kristen, Melissa and Leslie Jones (Trainwreck, Saturday Night Live-TV) as Patty Tolan were subdued compared to Kate McKinnon (Life Partners, Saturday Night Live-TV) as Jillian Holtzmann; she was terrific which is saying a lot since the story was bland. I did not have any laugh out loud moments and felt the story needed some caffeine. The villain of the story was so dull with a tired story line that I sat in my seat and wondered what the writers were thinking. Even the special effects were nothing special; after all these years since the original film, you would think the movie studio would want to dazzle the viewers with special effects. Overall this movie was not the worst; it just did not taste as good as the original I remembered. There was an extra scene at the end of the credits.