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Flash Movie Review: Jexi

BEFORE YOU THINK I HAVE GONE off the deep end or wonder if the synapses in my brain are misfiring, please hear me out. Those who know me know I am not a big fan of computers. I admit they are wonderful when they are doing what they are supposed to be doing; but they can be awful when they are not working correctly. The thing that concerns me is how people are becoming so dependent on them. Look anywhere these days and you will see people staring at their smartphones, watches, tablets, dashboards and anywhere there is a monitor or screen. Even in the bathroom, I have seen monitors above the urinals; do I really need to be entertained while relieving myself? With so many things having the ability to connect to other things via the internet or cellular phones, I wish there was a way we could see in the air how all these things are talking to each other. Imagine each wave or emission having a color and being able to see the way they light up the space around us. With this connectivity I worry people might be losing the use of the full potential of their mind. For example, you can ask your smartphone to remind you of important dates, phone numbers and addresses. Instead of thinking I see people forgetting how to do simple tasks.      RECENTLY I STOPPED AT THE BANK to cash a check. Yes, I know; what an archaic practice. Because the check included cents, I handed the bank teller change to round up the check amount to an even dollar amount. Would you believe the teller had to stop and think about what I was asking her to do? I simply stared at her in disbelief. Only when she entered the figures into her computer did she finally understand why I gave her an extra fourteen cents. (Are you now figuring out the change amount of the check?) As computers and devices with their voice assistants handle more tasks, what is going to happen to us? It makes me wonder if there is some truth behind the movie, “The Matrix.” Will there come a day when computers take over the world and treat mankind as livestock? Already I have noticed how some young adults cannot read a map or tell time with a non-digital timepiece. You may think I am worrying about nothing; but I would have to disagree with you. If you do not believe me then take a look at what happens to the main character in this comedy.     PHIL, PLAYED BY ADAM DEVINE (Pitch Perfect franchise, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates), is addicted to his phone. When he goes to upgrade it, the phone gets addicted to him. With Alexandra Shipp (Shaft, Straight Outta Compton) as Cate, Ron Funches (Get Hard, Once Upon a Time in Venice) as Craig, Charlyne Yi (This is 40, Knocked Up) as Elaine and Wanda Sykes (Bad Moms franchise, Monster-in-Law) as Denice; I guess you can call this film a modern day rom-com. Though Adam seems to be getting roles that are similar, his character was likable at the start; however, the script squashed it soon into the story. The vulgarity along with the repeat of similar situations quickly turned tedious. I became bored and lost interest in this picture before it was even halfway over. Whatever the writers’ thought was funny did not register with me; I did not laugh or chuckle once. Too bad, because I liked what the story was trying to tell the audience. If you find yourself at the movie theater and you feel this film is calling out to you, I suggest you do not answer it.

 

1 ½ stars 

Flash Movie Review: Ugly Dolls

IN MY HOUSE I HAVE A beautiful curio cabinet. It is mission style, crafted out of wood and glass. I have received numerous compliments on it. Granted, I put it in a prominent place between two passageways right underneath a wooden copy of a Frank Lloyd Wright window. It was the only spot open in the room and it was the perfect place. The piece stands on four short legs before meeting the bottom of the 2 front cabinet doors with glass insets. Vertical thin strips of wood come down the front seamlessly, except where 2 black metal plates with a metal ring are attached to pull open the door. I saw a picture of this cabinet in a catalog and immediately knew I had to get it. Sure, I looked at other cabinets, but none of them had a strong attraction for me like this mission style one. When it arrived, I had to assemble the pieces together which is not my forte. After reading through the directions I began the process and was surprised how well it was going. That is until I had to assemble the pieces to the back panel. One predrilled hole did not line up; I had to drill a 2nd hole if I wanted to finish building the cabinet. Until now I was the only person who knew this perfect cabinet was not so perfect when it arrived. Luckily, the extra hole was in the back where no one would see it.      THAT IS THE THING ABOUT PERFECTION, it is only a perception. I cannot think of one thing that I would say is perfect. Growing up I would hear friends’ parents compare their children to others, mostly when their child was being scolded. They would ask why their kid could not be more like so-and-so and act better. Even though it was said in different ways, the parents’ message coming across was essentially telling their child they wished he or she was better. The other family was being perceived as perfect or better by the child’s parents. And do you know what contributed to them thinking this way? I believe it was television shows because back then families were portrayed as being perfect. One did not hear about divorce, affairs or problems. These shows warped many people’s perceptions. In my own life, when I began my career in fitness I became obsessed with fitness magazines. I felt I had to look like the models that were being used by the writers. For years I wanted to be the perfect specimen of a fitness instructor. Well guess what, I was never going to be perfect and that was okay. It is a message that can be found in this animated, adventure comedy.      IN UGLYVILLE THE WEIRD, THE DIFFERENT and of course the ugly are all things celebrated by the inhabitants. But right past their town beauty can be found in many forms and some citizens yearn to be part of that beauty. With Kelly Clarkson (From Justin to Kelly, American Dreams-TV) voicing Moxy, Blake Shelton (Pitch Perfect 2, The Ridiculous 6) voicing Ox, Leehom Wang (Forever Young, My Lucky Star) voicing Lucky Bat, Wanda Sykes (Monster-in-Law, Bad Moms franchise) voicing Wage and Pitbull (Epic, Empire-TV) voicing Uglydog; the message the writers were trying to get across was spot on. Unfortunately, I do not know if any of the viewers will get the message because this picture was bleak on many counts. The script was boring; there was nothing fun about it. There was no wow factor regarding the animation which left me being bored through long passages of this film. Only the unmemorable songs and Kelly’s enthusiasm kept me awake. I could not tell if this movie was made to sell dolls or to rehash bits of cutting room footage from other films. The movie studio wanted to show us that it is okay not to be perfect and they certainly did by creating this mess. I do not think this is the way the studio intended to show us.

 

1 ½ stars    

Flash Movie Review: Snatched

FIRST introduced in the 1960s these toaster pastries have been sampled by millions of people. They were a novel idea; some ate them in lieu of a full breakfast, while others snacked on them between meals or as a dessert. I am sure the idea of having a convenient sweet item with a long shelf life was a revelation for many people. When they first came out there were only 4 flavors: blueberry, strawberry, brown sugar cinnamon and apple. Presently there is a variety of flavors and frostings to cover almost anyone’s taste preferences. Just on the news recently there was a report the manufacturer teamed up with a candy company to come out with candy flavored fillings in these pastries. My first reaction to this combination was negative. But as I thought about it I realized I had not had one of these pastries in decades. If there was a market for these flavor combinations, who was I to judge them? It was not like the other fillings were not sweet, so what would be the difference except personal tastes.     WHENEVER something is going well, it almost never fails the company looks for other ways to cash in on their success. Take a look at the fashion industry; if a designer has success with their line of clothing pretty soon their name could pop up on kitchen products, home furnishings or sports related products. Personally the name is not what motivates me to make the purchase; it depends on value and worth for me, besides liking it or not. I sort of feel the same way about movies. If the story looks good, I would go see it regardless of who the studio cast for the roles. Since I enjoyed the previous movies by both of the actresses in this comedy, I was sure I would have a good time watching this film. The buzz surrounding this movie was the addition of the one actress who had been away from acting in pictures for over a decade. Everywhere you looked the talk was how the 2 main actresses would be great together.     AFTER Emily, played by Amy Schumer (Trainwreck, Inside Amy Schumer-TV) was dumped by her boyfriend the only person she could get to take his place on the non-refundable vacation package she bought was her mother Linda, played by Goldie Hawn (The First Wives Club, Death Becomes Her). The trip would bind the mother and daughter in ways neither ever imagined. With Ike Barinholtz (Suicide Squad, The Mindy Project-TV) as Jeffrey, Wanda Sykes (Evan Almighty, Monster-in-Law) as Ruth and Joan Cusack (Working Girl, Say Anything) as Barb; the story started out fun. I enjoyed the style of humor and jokes. Unfortunately the story or to be more exact the script quickly went south, no pun intended. The majority of the scenes turned into a mixture of crudeness, silliness or non-believability. I was embarrassed for Joan in particular in regards to her role. It was such a waste of a prolific actress; which leads me to Goldie and her role. Though I was happy to see Goldie back in a movie and she really gave it a good try here, the script did her no favors. If the writers had focused as much energy on the script as the studio did on Goldie, something hilarious could have happened here. Instead I was left with very little to laugh about or enjoy.

 

1 ¾ stars

 

 

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