Flash Movie Review: The Expendables 3

The elderly couple swirled around the dance floor as the bottom of the woman’s dress trailed behind her like a settling morning mist. They dipped, spun and veered from side to side in synch to the beat of the music calling out to them from the tall black speakers that stood like sentries around the dance floor. There was an elegant grace to their movements that did not betray their actual ages. Speaking with them after the dance I discovered they were in their upper 70s and had been dancing together since their wedding day over 50 years ago. When I complimented them on their beautiful movements they thanked me, telling me I should have seen them when they were younger. The couple took turns explaining their moves that involved lifts, fast spins and quick footwork in unison across an entire dance floor. Due to their ages they could no longer do such things and be graceful about it or at least without throwing out either of their backs and falling to the ground. Here was a couple who did not look their age but knew their body’s limitations as it aged; I admired their practicality and honest spirit.    AGING gracefully was not an option in the latest for this movie franchise. As the third installment this action film treaded on familiar ground. Sylvester Stallone (Grudge Match, Bullet to the Head) returned as Barney Ross, the head of an elite covert fighting force. After a mission had failed, Barney decided it was time to form a team of younger players who would have to go up against the man who brought Barney’s original team down; revenge had no age limit. Along with the cast from the previous films; this movie had Harrison Ford (Ender’s Game, Cowboys & Aliens) as Drummer, Antonio Banderas (The Skin I Live In, Desperado) as Galgo and Wesley Snipes (Blade franchise, Demolition Man) as Doc. I can just hear you wondering what happened to the younger team members. They were in this adventure thriller; I just wondered if they were happy about it. This could have been a fun somewhat campy film, especially with its great opening scene, if the script had been better. Unfortunately the story was poorly executed. The only older actor that looked like he did some of his own stunts was Jason Statham (Snatch, Homefront) as Lee Christmas. I think the most physical thing Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Last Stand, The Terminator franchise) as Trench did was walk across a hallway. There was violence and blood as a multitude of stunt doubles did the physical work. I am afraid this third film was aged and tired; it needed to be retired.


1 3/4 stars

About moviejoltz

From a long line of movie afficionados, one brother was the #1 renter of movies in the country with Blockbuster, I am following in the same traditions that came before me. To balance out the long hours seated in dark movie theaters, I also teach yoga and cycling. For the past 3 years, I have correctly picked the major Oscar winners... so join me as we explore the wonder of movies and search for that perfect 4 star movie.

Posted on August 19, 2014, in Thriller and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Theatre of Pain

    lol Damn. As soon as I starting reading your introduction, I knew where the review was headed. Out of the entire casts, I think Jason Statham and Jet Li might be the only players not completely out of gas. I’m not sure about Wesley Snipes but if he were to do a Blade 4, I would probably go see it.

  2. I used to study martial arts – and part of our training was to study the movement of our opponents. What distracts me is how badly some of these guys move now. I can’t avoid it, and it distracts me.

  3. We may get a 4th (GULP). Me personally, I would have liked to see more of the old guns than the new blood, who I wasn’t interested in at all. Still, this franchise seems dead in the water now. Great review.

    • Are you serious, they are planning a 4th?!?!? I cannot believe it; this weekend’s box office results should give us a realistic take on where this film will go. Thanks for the comment even though when I read your 1st sentence a little bit of bile came up into my mouth. lol

  4. Ha! I loved your lead in to your pretty concise and damning review. I have not seen any of the Expendables movies just because they look so entirely sad-sack and has-been.

  5. hello, sir…. i have not seen it yet but i intend to (even only on dvd). ahaha, just seeing them together, all of them, made me happy. and i thank that person who thought and planned of putting those actors (though aged and aging) in one movie. i think that’s a bright idea. now that you said it wasn’t that great, i will have no high expectations, hehe. but i will still see it. btw, i know you won’t object, hoho. warm regards… 🙂

    • You are correct, I have no objections and would hope you would let me know what you thought of the film after seeing it. I think I would have enjoyed it more if the stars played off their age and showed the change in their physical abilities. Good luck and thanks so much for coming by to leave your comments.

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