Flash Movie Review: As Above, So Below

The shine of its skin invited you to choose it. Deeply hued in red with lighter shadows, there was a firmness felt when you picked it up, bringing it closer to your face. As you bit down on the apple, hearing the crisp crunch of it as you drew a piece into your mouth, your anticipation was elevated to meet your expectations for the impending sweet taste to fill your waiting mouth. As you moved the apple back within your eyesight and before your taste buds registered the taste, you saw the horrific sight of blackened, decayed flesh under the skin of the apple. To make matters worse you were not seeing the beginning edges of it but the middle part as your brain registered sour bitterness in your mouth. What I just described to you was an example of disappointment. To avoid this feeling I do as much as possible to avoid any reviews or hype about a movie I plan on seeing to review. Trust me this takes discipline, for I used to be the type of person who was lead through life by my high expectations. I learned the hard way that these expectations were a burden to carry around as they tended to pave a straight road to disappointment. The city of Paris is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever seen. Not a fan of horror movies I was hoping to see some great shots of the city in this horror film.    SCARLETT, played by Perdita Weeks (Prowl, Hamlet), was in search of a special object that most explorers only considered to be a myth. Part of a small group of adventurers that included George and Benji, played by Ben Feldman (Cloverfield, Mad Men-TV) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge, Red Dawn); Scarlett needed the help of Papillon, played by Francois Civil (Moliere, Elles), to lead the group deep down into the Catacombs of Paris. It was there she hoped to find the elusive item, but she would also find much more. Let me get right to the point; this horror thriller was one of the worst films I have seen this year. I was stunned by the amateur writing in the script and poor acting. It seemed as if the writers went through their childhood memories of carnivals and Halloween horror houses to just pull out random things to fill the scene, hoping to scare the viewers. I was bored for the majority of the movie; this picture really came across like a cheap knockoff of a knockoff. And the biggest disappointment for me was not getting to see any decent outdoor scenes of Paris. I should have taken the money I used for this film and spent it on a couple of European travel magazines instead.

 

1 1/2 stars

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About moviejoltz

From a long line of movie afficionados, one brother was the #1 renter of movies in the country with Blockbuster, I am following in the same traditions that came before me. To balance out the long hours seated in dark movie theaters, I also teach yoga and cycling. For the past 3 years, I have correctly picked the major Oscar winners... so join me as we explore the wonder of movies and search for that perfect 4 star movie.

Posted on September 3, 2014, in Thriller and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. What a disappointment. If only it was as good as the poster for it.

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