Flash Movie Review: Seventh Son

It is never a good sign when I glance down at my wristwatch during a movie. What made things worse was the watch’s battery was too low to illuminate the time. Looking for a watch repair shop was more of a challenge than I had expected, finally finding one a few suburbs over from where I was located. As I walked into the shop a tiny bell hanging from the edge of the door tinkled. Sitting behind a long, dusty glass case sat an old bespectacled man wearing oversized magnifying goggles on top of his glasses. His out of proportion massive, dark eyes looked up at me as I neared him. Hunched over a metal table with miniature piles of tiny metal watch parts, his disheveled clothing loosely hung off of his scrawny frame. As he worked on my watch I was able to look around the shop that really looked like an old discarded movie set. There were all types of clocks hanging on the walls, ticking in a symphony of different beats. Whenever I glanced over at the owner I was impressed by his meticulous precise movements while he worked on my watch. I had to wonder what will happen to the shop once the elderly owner was gone; would there be someone new who could do such intense looking work? Finding a protege with similar skills would be challenging.    JEFF Bridges (The Giver, Crazy Heart) played Master Gregory, who was the last of his kind. When the evil witch Mother Malkin, played by Julianne Moore (Still Alice, Carrie), escaped the prison Master Gregory had placed her in, he would need the help from an apprentice with a particular lineage to help in her capture. Upon meeting Tom Ward, played by Ben Barnes (Stardust, Dorian Gray), Master Gregory was not sure if he found the right apprentice to take on such a difficult task. This action fantasy looked good in the trailers. I thought if Jeff and Julianne were adversaries they would be able to generate some high drama and sparks between their characters. Unfortunately the script was so bad; they could not save this dull adventure film. If the script had focused more on the two of them, I think there would have been a better chance this movie would have lured more viewers. I was actually embarrassed to see Kit Harington (Pompeii, Game of Thrones-TV) in his role as Mr. Bradley. The special effects were good but they were not enough to compensate for the ridiculousness in this picture, like stuffing something in Jeff’s mouth so he would be hard to understand when he talked. Sitting through this movie I had to wonder how Jeff got this role; this was the type of film only Nicolas Cage would star and bomb in.

 

1 1/2 stars

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About moviejoltz

From a long line of movie afficionados, one brother was the #1 renter of movies in the country with Blockbuster, I am following in the same traditions that came before me. To balance out the long hours seated in dark movie theaters, I also teach yoga and cycling. For the past 3 years, I have correctly picked the major Oscar winners... so join me as we explore the wonder of movies and search for that perfect 4 star movie.

Posted on February 11, 2015, in Fantasy/Sci-Fi and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. This was pretty bad, as you alluded to Bridges and Moore are the only truly good things and even they cannot elevate this much. Aside from some nice CGI this also looks terrible. Couldn’t agree more Joltz.

  2. Pity, as you say, the actors are good, but you need a good script. Also, I have to wonder, in this day and age of hopefully smaller families, are there Any 7th sons of 7th sons??

  3. Good gosh, am I the only person who likes Nicolas Cage?? lol

    • The last movie I saw him in “Left Behind” tipped me into the never again category regarding him. I give you credit for not swaying off due to peer pressure. Thank you for the comment.

  4. I have read the books that this is based on and there is NO WAY either of those main stars would work with those roles!! The books are written from the perspective of Tom Ward, who is 13 yrs old and the incident with Mother Malkin is a part of his story, not the focus.
    I had wanted to see this. I mean some books of this genre translate beautifully to film – like Stardust. But it sounds like they messed around on the scriptwriting and casting wayyyy too much.

    • Thank you so much for talking about the books; I was wondering when I found out the movie was based on the series. And it really was a change from the book, based on what you revealed here. I can tell you have good taste since you mentioned the wonderful film Stardust. Thank you for coming by to leave your comments.

      • No problem 🙂
        The annoying thing is that if they had followed the books properly, it could have been a good film. Especially as there are 12 or 13 books, they could have condensed 3 or 4 (they are not long as they are for younger readers) easily and brought out the underlying aspects of the story – Tom’s family origins for one. Mother Malkin was really just a stepping stone for Tom.
        Ah well.
        And yes, Stardust is one of my all time favourites. As good as the book 🙂

  5. Any jewelry store will replace a watch battery. Easier still, any of the lots-of-electronics gadget kiosks a mall will do it, too. Car key fobs, also.

    I’m glad I skipped this dud. Thanks for reinforcing my good decision.

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