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Flash Movie Review: Seventh Son

It is never a good sign when I glance down at my wristwatch during a movie. What made things worse was the watch’s battery was too low to illuminate the time. Looking for a watch repair shop was more of a challenge than I had expected, finally finding one a few suburbs over from where I was located. As I walked into the shop a tiny bell hanging from the edge of the door tinkled. Sitting behind a long, dusty glass case sat an old bespectacled man wearing oversized magnifying goggles on top of his glasses. His out of proportion massive, dark eyes looked up at me as I neared him. Hunched over a metal table with miniature piles of tiny metal watch parts, his disheveled clothing loosely hung off of his scrawny frame. As he worked on my watch I was able to look around the shop that really looked like an old discarded movie set. There were all types of clocks hanging on the walls, ticking in a symphony of different beats. Whenever I glanced over at the owner I was impressed by his meticulous precise movements while he worked on my watch. I had to wonder what will happen to the shop once the elderly owner was gone; would there be someone new who could do such intense looking work? Finding a protege with similar skills would be challenging.    JEFF Bridges (The Giver, Crazy Heart) played Master Gregory, who was the last of his kind. When the evil witch Mother Malkin, played by Julianne Moore (Still Alice, Carrie), escaped the prison Master Gregory had placed her in, he would need the help from an apprentice with a particular lineage to help in her capture. Upon meeting Tom Ward, played by Ben Barnes (Stardust, Dorian Gray), Master Gregory was not sure if he found the right apprentice to take on such a difficult task. This action fantasy looked good in the trailers. I thought if Jeff and Julianne were adversaries they would be able to generate some high drama and sparks between their characters. Unfortunately the script was so bad; they could not save this dull adventure film. If the script had focused more on the two of them, I think there would have been a better chance this movie would have lured more viewers. I was actually embarrassed to see Kit Harington (Pompeii, Game of Thrones-TV) in his role as Mr. Bradley. The special effects were good but they were not enough to compensate for the ridiculousness in this picture, like stuffing something in Jeff’s mouth so he would be hard to understand when he talked. Sitting through this movie I had to wonder how Jeff got this role; this was the type of film only Nicolas Cage would star and bomb in.

 

1 1/2 stars

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