Flash Movie Review: Blair Witch

Fortunately I was not one of those kids who would get carsick. I knew a couple of children who were never invited to take a ride in anyone’s new automobile; for fear the new upholstered or leather seats would no longer have that new smell after they went along for a ride. Even though I was fine being in a car, there were a couple of adults I avoided when they were the drivers. One in particular was referred to as the cowboy because you felt you were riding a bucking bronco (the actual horse, not the car) anytime you would be riding with them. Most people when they see a stop sign or red stoplight would slow down as they neared the intersection, but not them. They would continue the same speed, which by the way was always over the speed limit; all the way until they were just about at the cross street and then they would slam down hard on the brakes. You could not help but be forced forward in your seat. When it came to making a left or right turn it was always better to hold onto the armrest so you would not slide across the seat. After spending just a little time in their car would cause me to have a headache. The constant hard stopping and quick starts just made the entire ride a series of jerking motions that never was pleasant. When I finally could exit their car I usually was dizzy and needed to sit still for a few moments after. It has been years since I experienced a ride like that until I sat through this horror thriller.   HAVING seen new footage of the Blair Witch woods James, played by James Allen McCune (The Walking Dead-TV, Shameless-TV) was convinced his missing sister could still be alive. The only way he would know for sure would be to venture into the demonic area. This film also starred Callie Hernandez (Machete Kills, Members Only-TV movie) as Lisa Arlington, Corbin Reid (Words with Girls-TV movie, Kingdom-TV) as Ashley and Brandon Scott (An American in Hollywood, Knife Fight) as Peter. Sitting through this picture I was essentially uncomfortable for most of the time. There was nothing I found positive about this film. Most of you know I am not a fan of the found footage way of shooting a picture, but watching this was more painful than usual. The jerky movements, the poor lighting, the multiple scenes where the camera was dropped on the ground and the periodical blackouts made for a scattered mess on the big screen. There really was no acting to speak of and I did not find any suspense or horror except for one character’s medical condition. I honestly do not know what the point was in making this film; just like the bizarre sound effects had no meaning to me. These random sounds would take place to scare the characters but nothing had any follow through to it. After enduring this movie all the way to the end, all I got out of it was a headache. I would hate to see what would happen for those viewers who get motion sickness; it doesn’t sound like a pretty picture either way.

 

1 ½ stars

 

 

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About moviejoltz

From a long line of movie afficionados, one brother was the #1 renter of movies in the country with Blockbuster, I am following in the same traditions that came before me. To balance out the long hours seated in dark movie theaters, I also teach yoga and cycling. For the past 3 years, I have correctly picked the major Oscar winners... so join me as we explore the wonder of movies and search for that perfect 4 star movie.

Posted on September 19, 2016, in Thriller and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Thank you for the warning 🙂 I will avoid that one 😉

  2. Is it just me or has all originality gone from film making?

  3. Am I correct in saying this is a remake of a BAD motion picture?

  4. Like the first one… Snorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre

  5. I didn’t like the first one for that reason either. It only got hyped for being filmed with a hand held unprofessional camera’s which a few kids put together and in “it’s day”, was uncommon. Kudos to the kids for doing it, but it was pretty lame. Now days that’s what a youtube “short” is all about anyway.

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