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Flash Movie Review: Ride Along
It could start with what appears to be a simple look between siblings, but you know there is more behind the momentarily locked glance. You have been sitting at the restaurant table all this time wanting to eliminate your bladder but you refuse to excuse yourself from the table, leaving the siblings alone to talk about you. The reason is you have been in a relationship for a few months and today is the day you are meeting the sister for the very first time and you know what that means. I do not care what anyone says but one of the hardest parts of dating someone new is meeting family members or the best friend for the first time. Sure they may tell me this will be a friendly get together but I know better; the family member or friend is coming in to offer their assessment of me as potential partner material. I will never forget meeting a date’s 14 year old daughter, who did not make eye contact with me once during the first 2 courses of the meal. It was not until dessert, when the subject turned to current music, that she looked at me in amazement with my familiarity of current music. Little did I know that teaching aerobics would provide me with this extra benefit for my get together. Seeking sibling approval was the premise for this action comedy. Kevin Hart (Grudge Match, This is the End) played security guard and hopeful police cadet, Ben Barber who was hoping to get the blessing from Atlanta policeman James Payton, played by Ice Cube (21 Jump Street, Barbershop), to marry his sister Angela, played by Tika Sumpter (Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas, Salt). The only way James would accept Ben is if he could survive one day riding with James while on duty. If you like Kevin’s style of humor then you might enjoy this picture better than I did. I do not consider Kevin an actor since I have now seen him in a few films and see no difference between him in concert or portraying a character in a movie; he is always the same. Ice Cube has some acting ability but in this movie he predominately gave a variety of mean looking scowls. The movie trailers already showed a majority of the humorous parts; the only aspect missing were the few action scenes. There was nothing very original here. If you want my opinion, consider taking public transportation and avoid going on this ride along.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Justin Bieber’s Believe
It was Beauty and the Beast that showed me to look beyond the surface of a person, all the way to their heart. From the film The Wizard of Oz I learned to question what was being presented before me, for some things are just a false reality. I learned there was a fine line between genius and madness from the movie Amadeus. As you can see cinema had a hand in what type of man I was to become as an adult. So when it comes to music documentaries, I cast a somewhat skeptical eye to what is being shown to me. Now I am not a musical fan of Justin Bieber and only know about him when he is being reported on in the news. This film focused on Justin’s Believe tour from inception to the ending concerts. Directed by John M. Chu (G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Step Up franchise), I found the movie to be a simple step by step process on how the tour was assembled. Since I am a fan of dance, I enjoyed the audition process that showed the dancers being vetted, picked and trained in the choreography. The use of actual concert footage was appreciated because it was a way to break up the film from becoming too long with all the interviews used of various people. I knew some of the individuals like Usher and Rodney Jerkins, but others such as manager and producer Scooter Braun were unknown to me. I do not feel I have to tell you that there was nothing shown to cast Justin in a negative light, though they did show film clips of his altercations with the paparazzi. As a documentary this movie really did not show anything new. It seemed like a tightly scripted marketing ploy to squeeze more profit out of the tour. Justin’s music does not do anything for me; however, I could certainly acknowledge the creative process to his music writing, besides the team behind the tour. If you are a Belieber (name Justin Bieber fans call themselves) then no matter what I say you probably saw this film already. For those curious, I would suggest you wait to see it on DVD. When I think of musical artists like the Beatles, who are still relevant 50 years later, will Justin have the same longevity? I cannot imagine; wait, now that was a good song.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Walking with Dinosaurs
My love of museums began at a very young age. There were several top rated ones in the city where I was born. At one museum I could take a ride down into a coal mine or climb into an actual submarine from World War II. Another museum had these large comfy seats that would lean way back, so I could look up at the stars and planets that traveled across the rounded ceiling as it changed from morning to night in a matter of seconds. We had one museum that was filled with a variety of ancient objects. There were mummies and sarcophagi that I, of course, thought were props from the movies Ben Hur and The Ten Commandments. The other thing I always found fascinating in this museum were the prehistoric skeleton bones. As far as I was concerned they were the bones I saw in the Jules Verne movies I would watch on Saturday afternoons. To see up close the massive size of the dinosaur skeletons only fueled my imagination. The same held true in this action movie because the special effects truly brought the dinosaurs to life. I can only imagine what it must have looked like in the 3D version. The story was about Patchi, voiced by Justin Long (Drag Me to Hell, Accepted), the youngest and smallest of the herd leader’s children. With his friend Alex the bird, voiced by John Leguizamo (Moulin Rouge, Assault of Precinct 13), Patchi did not let his size get in the way of trying to be a hero. This family film was perfect for little children, especially those that are into prehistoric animals. Unfortunately that is the only good thing to be said about this boring movie. I did say it was great to watch but that only goes so far; a good story was needed to keep viewers’ attention. The humor was strictly infantile with cliched themes, such as the rivalry between Patchi and his older brother Scowler, voiced by Skyler Stone (The Rules of Attraction, Stuck on You). John Leguizamo has a distinct, rapid fire delivery that with the right script works well. Here the few funny lines he did have were probably not picked up by any of the youngsters in the audience. In fact, there were lines said by many of the characters that were just lame. It really was a shame because the trailer gave the impression of an exciting, dramatic adventure story. You would be better off to just look up the trailer and avoid the movie. Or better yet go to a natural history museum and let your imagination take off with the dinosaur bones on display.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Black Nativity
Each of us has had experience with it, yet we handle it in a variety of ways. Not all solutions are the healthiest for us, but we try as best as we can. What I am referring to are relationships that are toxic. It could be family, business or personal ones; it does not make a difference to how lethal the toxicity can be. I have experienced the effects of being in a toxic relationship and suffer both physically and mentally. A heaviness comes over me, where each step I take feels as if I am pulling the soles of my feet off from sticky wads of chewed up gum that cover the ground. My shoulders slouch down unable to maintain the excess weight that has been placed on them. Mentally my brain strains to process the images my eyes have taken in, coating them in thick dark syrup; I am only able to understand a portion of what I see. Now I can spend this entire review on ways we can protect ourselves in these types of relationships, but then I could not talk about this dramatic musical film. See for yourself how toxicity brewed inside the Cobbs family in this movie. Based on American Langston Hughes’ play, this updated version had a strong cast of actors who tried to carry the story. Jennifer Hudson (The Secret Life of Bees, Dreamgirls) played a single parent named Naima who had a son named Langston, played by Jacob Latimore (Vanishing on 7th Street). Having fallen on hard times, about to be evicted from their place, Naima had to send her son to her parents Aretha and Reverend Cornell Cobbs, played by Angela Basset (Strange Days, Gospel Hill) and Forest Whitaker (Platoon, Phone Booth). But there was a problem, they had not spoken to each other for many years. Though unhappy with the situation, Langston was desperate to find out what happened between his mother and these two strangers he was forced to stay with in New York City. My favorite part of this film were the musical numbers. I am partial to strong female vocals which Jennifer and the choir aptly provided. Sadly that is all I liked about the film. I am sure the original story on stage was a powerful piece; however, in this movie version it was so heavy handed, determined to show the viewer the struggles, that I was bored. Part of the reason had to do with the poor screenplay; it introduced scenes without providing character backgrounds. This movie was disappointing, though it did remind me of one of the biggest lessons I learned: I do not have to accept anything, just respect it.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Delivery Man
Walking down the grocery store aisle can be dangerous for me. Besides my desire for foods that are not the healthiest, my eyes can easily spot the words “new” and “improved” on any package. When it comes down to it I am a marketer’s dream shopper because I am easily swayed to try new food items. If they fit into my world of approved foods I am always adventurous to bring home new stuff and taste it. Sometimes I hit the jackpot when the product tastes so good, I do not want to brush my teeth for hours, letting the sumptuous taste linger in my mouth as long as possible. Other times it is a bust and I bring it to the office, hoping someone will get a positive experience from it. When it comes to a product’s packaging that claims a new fuller taste or improved flavor, I am aware it is more of a gamble. I have been disappointed when I brought the package home only to find the improvement consisted of shrinking the size of the food. To make matters worse, I can see it was done to make the package look fuller, but the net weight was reduced and I am being charged the same price as the former package. Stuff like this ticks me off as I am sure it would you too. I have to tell you I felt the same way about this comedy remake of the French Canadian film Starbuck, which I reviewed here previously. This American version starred Vince Vaughn (The Internship, Couples Retreat) as David, a delivery driver who discovered he was the father to 533 children, due to a mixup at the fertility clinic he donated at years ago. If a film studio wants to do a remake I do not have an issue with it. However, if it is going to be done I expect to see and experience things differently than the original; otherwise, what is the point? The biggest flaw in this movie was Vince Vaughn. I am tired of him playing the same role now in every one of his movies, it does not provide any entertainment value to his films. Supporting characters Brett, played by Chris Pratt (Moneyball, Wanted) and Emma, played by Cobie Smulders (Safe Haven, Now I Met Your Mother-TV) at least tried to act in this dud. Another thing that annoyed me was the obvious manipulation of emotions the writers were trying to do in the script. It did not work for me. Save your money by skipping this film and go rent Starbuck instead.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Free Birds
Out of all the holidays during the year, I have always felt the safest during this one. Maybe this sounds odd to you but this holiday was more of an internal one of celebration for me. There was no need to put up any kind of decorations, it did not represent one particular religious group, there were no gift exchanges, it did not require going anywhere but your own or someone’s home; Thanksgiving was simply a time to sit down and share a meal with the family. I would get excited by the variety of side dishes that spread across the table like steaming volcanoes, waiting for us to chip away at them. For me, the most important part came after dinner. Once the dishes were removed and the tablecloth was swept of any crumbs, the desserts would conquer the dining room table. There was such a comfort that came over me as I would sit quietly at my place and eat all the sweet treats that I had placed on my spotless plate. It was during this time of the Thanksgiving meal where my plate remained the cleanest; I would not let one morsel slip out of my mouth. To tell you the truth it did not matter to me if there was turkey served or not since my main focus was on the sweet stuff. The same held true in this animated comedy; it would not make a difference to me if Jake and Reggie, voiced by Woody Harrelson (Now You See Me, Zombieland) and Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers, The Internship), succeeded in their mission. The two unlikely partners were going back in time to the first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Massachusetts to stop the tradition forming to serve turkey for the holiday meal. As far as animated movies go, this one was not very good. It did not have the colors, the dimension or detail of other films I have seen. The humor remained on an elementary level, lacking any kind of sophistication. It was a shame because I enjoyed the cast which also included Amy Poehler (Mean Girls, A.C.O.D.) as Jenny and George Takei (Star Trek franchise, Heroes-TV) as S.T.E.V.E.; the voice of the time machine. To be released during the upcoming holiday season, this movie needed to be fun and uplifting. Save your money for your holiday shopping instead of seeing this film in the theater. Only if you have young children should you consider spending your money on this dull movie. If you do see it, stay through the credits.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Fifth Estate
With a single word or phrase a story can take on a different meaning. The same holds true for a newscast or written article. When I watch or read the news I know I am getting a fragment of the whole story. It is understandable due to time constraints or limited space. Being a naturally curious person, I enjoy finding out the backstory to what was reported to the public. It could be almost anything from entertainment to science to government; hearing the details on an individual’s thought process behind what they did or created is something that has always fascinated me. In regards to this movie, I was looking forward to discovering something new on the how and why Julian Assange created the site WikiLeaks. As some of you already know, I am not here to judge if something is right or wrong, legal or not, ethical, etc.; I am reviewing the movie on its entertainment value. Benedict Cumberbatch (12 Years a Slave, Star Trek into Darkness) played the role of Julian. Daniel Bruhl (Rush, Winning Streak) played Julian’s collaborator Daniel Domscheit-Berg. Both actors did the best they could with what was given to them. For a movie that claimed it was a dramatic thriller based on real events, the script was a real mess. I was bored through a major portion, finally becoming engaged in the last third of the film. It really was a shame considering the cast also included Laura Linney (Mystic River, Hyde Park on Hudson) as Sarah Shaw and Stanley Tucci (Margin Call, The Terminal) as James Boswell. All of them were good but the way the story played out with short scenes that did not go anywhere; there was not a cohesive trail to follow. With all the controversy regarding WikiLeaks and the way it received anonymous covert data; I wished the writers would, if not enhanced, at least have allowed more time to look at an event from multiple points of view. I did not gain anything new regarding Julian, the site and more importantly I was not entertained. A story so current needed an exciting script and offer something extra to grab the attention of the viewer. If not then one should just watch the news.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Romeo and Juliet
In love; when one is experiencing it, everything in the world appears to have taken on richer hues. Each step a person takes lands on soft pillows with an ah, instead of hard concrete. There is a refreshing lightness that is always ready to be swept up into the breezes of affections and dreams. For every waking moment, the imprint of a deep hug remains to caress, calm and soothe the body. But when one has it and then it is gone, love can reach deep into the body to squeeze the heart of its breath. The loss is replaced with a pain that thrives in the veins of the soul as it seeks out new ways to cripple daily functions. I will go with the notion everyone is familiar with the story of Romeo and Juliet; two young lovers from two feuding families, the Capulets and the Montagues. So story wise, there is not much a screenwriter can do to change the story if they want to stay true to the Shakespeare piece. In this latest film version I felt the writer was updating the story for a new generation. Douglas Booth (From Time to Time, LOL) and Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) played Romeo and Juliet. For me, they were the main reason I had issues with this movie. The two actors were way over their heads with their characters. There was no connection, no emotion, no desire between them; their performance came across as an amateur school production. To make matters worse, the adult cast had several wonderful actors such as Paul Giamatti (Win Win, Barney’s Version) as Friar Laurence, Damian Lewis (Dreamcatcher, Homeland-TV) as Lord Capulet and Lesley Manville (Another Year, Vera Drake) as Nurse. The acting from these gifted artists was on a completely different level than Hailee and Douglas. Visually I enjoyed this beautiful movie with its gorgeous scenes around the city of Verona and surrounding areas. With such a disconnect for me between the familiar story and the lead actors, I was bored for a good portion of the time. Honestly, if someone wanted to see a film version of this classic story, I would recommend seeing writer and director Franco Zeffirelli’s 1968 movie. Knowing a thing or two about love, I can certainly say I did not love this film.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Machete Kills
Tucked in the middle of the block between several small storefronts was a small independent movie theater. It was only 4 blocks away from where I grew up. I found my love of movies in this little theater with its freshly popped popcorn and assorted candies, that sat in a glass case that was partially held together with thick black tape. There was a period of time where I could be found every Saturday afternoon at the theater’s matinee showing. I had no understanding of what it meant to be a “B” movie back then, but I was exposed to all types of feature films. From killer robots to dogs saving their masters to family road trips in a long trailer; I loved every one of those movies. Looking back at those films, today they would be considered campy. They bring a nostalgic, fun flair from a different time to mind. In this action thriller sequel, writer and director Robert Rodriguez (Sin City, Once Upon a Time in Mexico) was looking to create the look and feel of a classic “B” movie. Danny Trejo (Heat, From Dusk till Dawn) reprised his role as the unstoppable Machete. In this installment the President of the United States enlisted the help of Machete to take down an arms dealer who was determined to destroy life on this planet as we knew it. With the help of Miss San Antonio, played by Amber Heard (Zombieland, Pineapple Express), Machete would first have to cut through an assortment of villains hell-bent on killing him. The fun part in watching this bloody crime film was seeing the variety of celebrities who agreed to take part in the cheesy story. For example there was Sofia Vergara (Four Brothers, Modern Family-TV) as machine gun packing Desdemona and musical artist Lady Gaga as the ever changing La Camaleon. Where I enjoyed the first film, even with all of its blood, violence and fresh campy quality; this movie took its uniqueness and beat you over the head with it. All it seemed to do was replay the same joke over and over, only with different characters. After a short while I did not find it funny anymore or very creative; I became bored with the nonsense. There is nothing wrong in making a parody of a genre of movies; but the idea needed to be expanded upon. In the case of this film trying to be a “B” movie, the “B” stood for bad. There was a flood of blood and violence throughout the film. If you see this movie, stay through the credits.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Runner Runner
Each of us one way or another has in some type of form gambled. Not necessary with money, but based on choices we made on a daily basis. Everyday I drive to work I have to take a gamble on which route will get me to the office the quickest. If I choose the highway there may be a backup of cars that would delay me. Taking side streets will take longer but if traffic is flowing I could get there earlier; it is a calculated gamble I have to take each day. How many of us have had to lift something that was extra heavy? There is a risk that some of us may injure our backs; isn’t that taking a gamble? I have very little experience when it comes to gambling with money; never understood the attraction of it. However, I certainly have no problem watching other people play with their money. In this dramatic thriller the gambling was done entirely online. Justin Timberlake (Friends with Benefits, The Social Network) played Princeton student Richie Furst. Discovering he was cheated out of his tuition money on an online gambling site, Richie decided to take his proof to the site’s headquarters in Costa Rica and confront millionaire owner Ivan Block, played by Ben Affleck (Argo, The Company Men). Impressed with Richie’s moxie, Ivan made him an enticing offer. The story had all the elements to make an exciting film, even if none of them were original. I could have dealt with the cliches and obvious setups if the acting stood out. Unfortunately, it did not nor helped this crime film. Part of it may be due to the direction, but Justin could not carry the story as a lead character. As long as Ben was doing gentler scenes he was okay, but his intense scenes fell flat. Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace, Unfinished Song) as Rebecca Shafran was forgettable, lacking any chemistry with her co-stars. Anthony Mackie (The Adjustment Bureau, Real Steel) as Agent Shavers was wasted on his stereotypical character. There was nothing new being offered in this movie; parts dragged for me. As I mentioned in the beginning, all of us have gambled in some way and that holds true for the movie studio that made this film. It took a risk and lost I am afraid. There were a couple of brief scenes with blood in them.
1 3/4 stars
moviejoltz 