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Flash Movie Review: 3 Days to Kill
If one is not careful they will find their job has taken over their life. There are some people who define themselves by what they do for a living: I am not one of those individuals. I cannot tell you how many times people have assumed I adhere to a strict, proper diet because I teach fitness classes or that I must be a tough SOB since I am a credit manager. These are my professions, what I do for a living; however, they do not represent all of me. I am aware my multiple jobs have had an effect on my personal life; some relationships did not last due to my frequent unavailability. Now with the addition of movie reviewing, I have quite the hectic schedule. Here is one example from this past Saturday: I taught a cycle class from 8 to 9am; changed and ran out of the club to make a 10:15am movie; stopped for groceries afterwards then on to home for lunch; out the door for a 2:30pm matinee; came home to change clothes and make a banquet reception from 6 to 11pm; returned home and collapsed into bed. This is a day in my life but at least I do not have to kill people for a living like they did in this action film. Kevin Costner (Man of Steel, The Guardsman) played international spy Ethan Renner who was recently diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Having stayed a safe distance away from his wife Christine and daughter Zoey, played by Connie Nielsen (One Hour Photo, Gladiator) and Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit, Romeo and Juliet), for their protection, Ethan wanted to reconnect with them before it was too late. There was only one problem; to receive an experimental drug that could extend his life expectancy, Ethan would have to take on one more job. How could he be a father and a spy at the same time? From an early start into the movie I did not find the story credible. The character of Vivi Delay, played by Amber Heard (Never Back Down, Drive Angry), made no sense to me. If she was a superior of Ethan’s, I did not understand the whole car and wardrobe look to her character. Kevin and Hailee did a decent job of acting but the script was dull and often times ridiculous. The fight and chase scenes were decent though. Maybe instead of taking 3 days to kill they could have done it in two. There were a few scenes that had blood shown.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: RoboCop
Does one’s love diminish by the amount of hair left on someone’s hairbrush? Does the amount of poundage on your significant other directly relate to the intensity of your love for them? The higher the number the less love you have to give? I have said before I believe our bodies are only being rented; what is inside of them is what counts, at least for me. It always amuses me when I hear someone say they do not like facial hair or redheads. Taking it one step further, I find it perplexing when someone makes a judgement based on a person’s ethnicity, race or even where they were born. What does that have to do with love? You will have to excuse me but I find individuals who lose their love and leave their mate due to illness utterly despicable. The essence of an individual remains the same as the body evolves through the years; those are my feelings. In this updated version of the 1987 science fiction film, you can see how love is stronger than any one body. After a suspicious explosion Detroit police officer Alex Murphy, played by Joel Kinnaman (Safe House, The Killing), had only one chance available if he was to survive. That decision fell to his wife Clara, played by Abbie Cornish (Limitless, Bright Star), who gave her consent to the corporation that would provide her husband with a robotic body, giving birth to a new crime fighter for the city: RoboCop. The only comparison I will make to the original movie is an obvious one; the special effects were better in this action crime film. I thought Gary Oldman (Lawless, Harry Potter franchise) as Dr. Dennett Norton and Michael Keaton (Jackie Brown, White Noise) as Raymond Sellars were the best of the cast. One of the issues I had was Joel Kinnaman; he did not have a powerful screen presence, coming across stiffly and I do not think it was due to his suit. The story had a satirical streak with the addition of Samuel L. Jackson’s (Django Unchained, Oldboy) character, talk show host Pat Novak. Along with a couple of twists in the story it pretty much was a standard good against evil plot. When this movie ended I did think about the advancements being made today in the medical field and wonder what will the effect be on humanity in the future. Will love wane based on the amount of mechanical parts a person has inside of them?
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Vampire Academy
It may only take one article of clothing, accessory, family member or friend and you get branded for life by your peers. A sweater you wore may have a spot or small hole that you did not notice, but someone else did and made the assumption you came from a poor family or even worse a dirty family. I have a watch that looks like an expensive, famous brand of timepiece. It always surprises me during a conversation with an unfamiliar person, when i catch them staring at my watch and their mannerisms do a slight shift towards me afterwards. I cannot explain it since I avoid dealing with people who only focus on the surface of an individual. Back in school I had a friend whose dad was a bus driver. I cannot tell you how many times other classmates would make comments about how his dad was Ralph Kramden (if this name is unfamiliar to you then look up Jackie Gleason) or he was the son of a bus driver. Not only did I not understand the reason for these kinds of comments, but I found them cruel. Well, evidently this same kind of labeling takes place among vampires. Lucy Fry (Lightning Point-TV) played Lissa Dragomir, the last vampire of a royal bloodline. After being out on her own in the real world she was forced to return to St. Vladimir’s academy for vampires with her best friend and protector Rose Hathaway, played by Zoey Deutch (Beautiful Creatures, Mayor Cupcake). She was not well received by some of the student body; in fact, some would rather have seen her dead. As if school was not hard enough already, Lissa found herself in the middle of a class struggle. This action fantasy was such a poor production; it screamed of being a Harry Potter and Twilight movie knockoff. The character Rose appeared to be jacked up on huge amounts of caffeine; her speech was more of a verbal blur to me. For the life of me I did not understand why Gabriel Byrne (The Usual Suspects, Miller’s Crossing) as Victor Dashkov and Joely Richardson (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Event Horizon) as Queen Tatiana were part of this film unless they both lost a bet with someone. The script provided nothing but poor dialog and goofy comments. There were so many opportunities to instill some excitement, tension, thought or even sentimental moments but none of that entered into this boring tale. I hope there are no plans to make a sequel. Though I mentioned I try not to label anyone based on their surface, I may have to reconsider when it comes to the director and writers of this silly vampire fantasy.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Monuments Movie
Carefully with a crayon I would outline the picture in the coloring book, using a heavy hand. Once done I would shade in the different segments of the page. This was the way I created art when I was little. The first time I was taken to an art museum I was amazed by the artwork. Up until that time I was only familiar with paint by number paintings. It was not until I matured that I realized art was an expression or application of a human’s creative skills. Art pieces can move us to tears, laughter or reflection besides being a mirror to our souls. To this day I find it unsettling when a room has no art in it. I first became aware of the historical theft of famous masterpieces during World War II in the startling documentary, “The Rape of Europa” which I reviewed here some time ago. The idea of systematically stealing the world’s art treasures from museums, churches, even people’s homes was something I could barely comprehend. Whether you enjoy art or not; you would have to agree it plays an important part in a society’s culture. This dramatic action film was based on Robert M. Edsel’s book about a small group of artisans who were chosen to track down and retrieve stolen masterpieces, that were being amassed in Germany during World War II. George Clooney (Gravity, Up in the Air) wrote, directed and starred in this film. Playing Frank Stokes, it was his responsibility to bring together art experts and craftsmen from around the world, who would have to survive basic training before they could start their mission in Europe. Among the members he chose were Matt Damon (Elysium, The Departed) as James Granger, John Goodman (Argo, Inside Llewyn Davis) as Walter Garfield and Bill Murray (Moonrise Kingdom, Lost in Translation) as Richard Campbell. Now with a cast like this one would have to wonder if the movie was a drama or a comedy and this was one of my main issues with the story. The screenplay was dreadful; I did not understand why there were cheap bits of humor placed in what could have been a tense exciting film. Casting Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine, Hanna) as Claire only proved that she was a better actor than the rest of the cast. I am afraid George Clooney took a light hand in creating this loose and confused movie. It really did not do justice to the actual people who saved the artwork and in turn saved a piece of our humanity. A couple of scenes had blood in them.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Lego Movie
It does not come with batteries nor does it need to run with any other power source. What I am referring to is our imagination and creativity. From the back porch of the 3rd floor apartment I grew up in, I could see to the end of the block. Each backyard was a different kingdom in my fantasy world. Taking empty plastic dishwasher bottles with their push-up tops, I would fill them up with water and they would become bombs I would use to protect my castle. When I had to go on a fact-finding mission, I would use the back alleys covered with gravel to cover my tracks. During these missions I would hold out a ballpoint pen at arm’s length, turning it into a spaceship that was protecting me from any enemy missiles. I could spend hours outside coming up with several activities that were fueled by my imagination; some incorporated my friends while others had to be done secretly by me. The creativity coming out of the writers’ imagination for this animated action comedy reminded me so much of my childhood. I believe everyone could relate to something in this fun film. Chris Pratt (Her, Wanted) voiced happy-go-lucky Emmet Brickowoski who loved everything he did in his structured life. One day an unusual misstep brought him in contact with Wyldstyle, voiced by Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games franchise, People Like Us), who mistakenly believed he was the chosen one to save the world from the evil Lord Business, voiced by Will Ferrell (Stranger Than Fiction, Step Brothers). The kaleidoscopic explosion of colors, rapid fire comments and crazy scenes kept me on my toes; in fact, I feel I need to see this movie again because I felt I was missing some of the details. I understand the cast did their recordings together instead of the usual way of each actor being by themselves in the recording booth. It made a difference in my opinion; there was a stronger fluidity to the verbal exchanges. Will Arnett (Blades of Glory, Arrested Development-TV) as Batman/Bruce Wayne, Liam Neeson (Schindler’s List, Taken franchise) as Bad Cop/Good Cop and Morgan Freeman (Million Dollar Baby, Now You See Me) as Vitruvius were just a few of the voices that stood out for me. There was so much that was good about this film that I do not feel I even have to tell you about the minor stuff. The bottom line for me was this movie took a familiar product and with a big dose of imagination provided me the opportunity to have a fun time while recalling some fond memories from my youth.
3 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Enemies Closer
Imagine you are at a party or nightclub and you strike up a conversation with someone. The two of you have been making an easy flow of chitchat but all of a sudden they say something that strikes you as being a bit odd. You are not sure how to react; should you chuckle, nod your head or ask them what they mean? The expression on their face does not help you; they still have that sliver of a smile. So you decide to let it pass and continue talking on. But then it happens again and you feel uncomfortable because what they said could be taken one of two ways. If you felt they meant the first option then it would be appropriate to snicker. However, the 2nd way would make them appear sexist; so, what do you do? You ask them and they say it was a joke; they were trying to be funny. There is nothing wrong with showing one’s humorous side, heaven knows I try to all the time; but if your target audience does not know your style of humor or your intentions, then the joke is lost on them. Well this is exactly how I felt watching this movie. I could not tell if this was supposed to be a satire or the director Peter Hyams (Timecop, End of Days) was really trying to make an action thriller. After all these years Peter re-teamed with Jean-Claude Van Damme (Double Impact, Bloodsport) who played Xander, an unmerciful drug dealer. Reaching the US-Canadian border to retrieve a drug shipment Xander came across forest ranger Henry, played by Tom Evertt Scott (Parental Guidance, That Thing You Do!), who was in the middle of a fight with ex-con Clay, played by Orlando Jones (Drumline, Evolution). How would Henry survive and do his job if he only had enemies around him? I am at a loss for words because I seriously did not get this film. Not one to question someone wanting to continue working, I would love to know why Jean-Claude felt this role was meant for him. He looked and acted like a sideshow clown from a traveling carnival. His body double was obvious in the fight scenes. Granted the fight scenes were not bad in this film, but I thought the acting was horrible. The script was not that much better. I wish I knew if this movie was supposed to be a joke because I would have written a different review. As it stands now I really have nothing good to say. There were several scenes that had blood and violence.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: I, Frankenstein
I would have been upset if this movie was based on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Except for Victor Frankenstein’s creation, there was no similarity between this action fantasy film and the original story. It turns out this movie was based on the graphic novel of the same name. I looked up the definition of graphic novel to find out it is defined as a fictional story that is done in a comic strip format, but in book form. With this understanding, I did not have a problem with this movie’s story. Frankenstein’s creation, played by Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight, Thank You for Not Smoking), was being hunted by evil demons led by Naberius, played by Bill Nighy (About Time, Love Actually), who needed him to complete their plan to create an army of demonic soulless beings to take over the world. The only thing standing in their way were the gargoyles led by Leonore, played by Miranda Otto (The Lord of the Rings franchise, What Lies Beneath). The film trailer I saw for this movie was predominantly filled with battle scenes. I now understand why since most of the time I was watching chase and fight scenes. If you are looking for just a mindless movie to sit back and not think about, this one is doable. The idea and concept of this story was fine; however, it was poorly executed. I found the writing to be bland and pretty cheesy for the most part. The transformation from gargoyle to human form was fun but most of the special effects were just okay, nothing really spectacular. I have always been fond of Aaron’s and Bill’s acting in the past and would have liked to have seen here more detail in their roles. Granted once I realized the Frankenstein character was more of a superhero I thought Aaron was an odd choice. If there were not any CGI effects involved then Aaron was chiseled for the role but was still of an average human size. There was a familiarity to the whole layout of this movie and I found out why afterwards. The writer was the same one who did the Underworld films, which explained the look and feel to this picture. Now I cannot say this was an awful film, it still entertained me; it just was too generic. If the movie studio still plans to do a sequel, since it was obvious at the end, I hope they spend more time devoted to the details of the story to make the viewers care about it.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
I am so grateful I stopped using my charge card after the November Black Friday hacking scandal came to light. You see I used my card at that retailer over the weekend it was discovered and was concerned my account information got stolen. This past Saturday I received a phone call from the charge card company because they were detecting a suspicious transaction taking place on my account number. Someone in Plano, Texas was attempting to buy $41.28 worth of items at a grocery store, using an actual charge card with my number on it, at the checkout cash register. After telling the representative on the phone that I had the card in my possession here at home; she denied the purchase and closed the account, telling me a new account number and charge card would be issued and sent to me immediately. The reason I am mentioning it is because this happened just before I left to see this action thriller. The story involved electronic sabotage. Chris Pine (Star Trek franchise, Unstoppable) played Jack Ryan. After an injury ended his military career, Jack caught the attention of Thomas Harper, played by Kevin Costner (Dances with Wolves, Waterworld), who believed Jack’s skills would help the CIA foil a possible terrorist act against the United States. Possibly due to not having read the Tom Clancy books with Jack Ryan and my hacking episode, I enjoyed this action mystery film more than I though I would. Sure I still thought of Captain Kirk when Chris was on screen, but I thought his action scenes were well choreographed and his acting was good enough for the role. I thought Kevin did a fine job playing an older no-nonsense character. Keira Knightley (Anna Karenina, King Arthur) who played Doctor Cathy Muller was adequate, but the character felt more like it was there just to add a love interest into the story. As for Kenneth Branagh (My Week with Marilyn, Hamlet) who directed and starred as Viktor Cherevin in this movie, his direction and pacing was tight, keeping the story moving forward; I never felt a dull moment. However, his character was confusing to me because I did not quite understand his motives, nor thought he was intense enough. There were a couple of “you have to be kidding me” scenes but they played into the action scenes. If they make a sequel I probably would go see it. I just would not use my charge card to pay for it. There were a few scenes that had violence and blood.
2 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ride Along
It could start with what appears to be a simple look between siblings, but you know there is more behind the momentarily locked glance. You have been sitting at the restaurant table all this time wanting to eliminate your bladder but you refuse to excuse yourself from the table, leaving the siblings alone to talk about you. The reason is you have been in a relationship for a few months and today is the day you are meeting the sister for the very first time and you know what that means. I do not care what anyone says but one of the hardest parts of dating someone new is meeting family members or the best friend for the first time. Sure they may tell me this will be a friendly get together but I know better; the family member or friend is coming in to offer their assessment of me as potential partner material. I will never forget meeting a date’s 14 year old daughter, who did not make eye contact with me once during the first 2 courses of the meal. It was not until dessert, when the subject turned to current music, that she looked at me in amazement with my familiarity of current music. Little did I know that teaching aerobics would provide me with this extra benefit for my get together. Seeking sibling approval was the premise for this action comedy. Kevin Hart (Grudge Match, This is the End) played security guard and hopeful police cadet, Ben Barber who was hoping to get the blessing from Atlanta policeman James Payton, played by Ice Cube (21 Jump Street, Barbershop), to marry his sister Angela, played by Tika Sumpter (Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas, Salt). The only way James would accept Ben is if he could survive one day riding with James while on duty. If you like Kevin’s style of humor then you might enjoy this picture better than I did. I do not consider Kevin an actor since I have now seen him in a few films and see no difference between him in concert or portraying a character in a movie; he is always the same. Ice Cube has some acting ability but in this movie he predominately gave a variety of mean looking scowls. The movie trailers already showed a majority of the humorous parts; the only aspect missing were the few action scenes. There was nothing very original here. If you want my opinion, consider taking public transportation and avoid going on this ride along.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Legend of Hercules
After viewing this action film I was curious to see what actors portrayed Hercules in past years. Looking at the movie titles and the actors that starred in them, I am afraid to say author Edith Hamilton would be distraught at the lack of respect we have given this mythical Greek hero. Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in Hercules in New York, Reg Park was in Hercules and the Captive Women besides Hercules in the Haunted World; even Lou Ferrigno played Hercules a couple of times before he became the Incredible Hulk. I was shocked to find Ryan Gosling did a turn as a young Hercules before his star power really came to light. For those of you who were too young to have seen these movies, chances are you are familiar with the television series starring Kevin Sorbo as the son of Zeus. I was curious why director Renny Harlin (Diehard 2, The Covenant) felt the need to helm this adventure fantasy. Kellan Lutz (Twilight franchise, Immortals) starred as Hercules, though he did not know about his true identity until later in the film. The story began in ancient Greece 1200 BC as we learn the reasons why Hercules was born to Queen Alcmene, played by Roxanne McKee (The Expelled, Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines) and then followed him as he grew up under the mistrustful eye of his stepfather King Amphitryon, played by Scott Adkins (Zero Dark Thirty, Assassination Games). Do you know how some of the worst foods for you taste the best? Well that is sort of the same idea I had about this schlock pop movie. It was so bad that it was like campy trash one would watch on a rainy day; sitting with a bag of potato chips, a tub of chip dip, a box of chocolate candy and a triple thick milkshake by one’s side. The acting was less about performance and more about being a cartoon character; it was so dull and corny with the ridiculous script. I have to assume the movie studio was looking to make a quick buck because the sets and special effects were beyond cheap looking. Wait until you see the lion; it looked like it was based on a squishy stuffed animal. Adding insult to injury, I saw this in a 3D theater that had issues with the film. For the first 20 minutes it was shown in 2D before the projectionist realized he was (I guess) supposed to flip a switch and make it 3D. No one in the theater even complained. I have to say once again Hollywood did Hercules wrong with this latest lowbrow movie.
1 2/3 stars
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