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Flash Movie Review: Norm of the North
The human race has created many beautiful things throughout the centuries. Some of them remain standing today while others over time were demolished, either for something newer or in the name of progress. What I find hideous is when the people in power decide to placate the local residents by saving the facade of a structure they are tearing down only to paste it onto the building they are constructing in the same spot. It does not matter that there is not architectural connection between the two. For me a more lasting beauty is what nature creates all around us. I have been extremely lucky to have visited some of the national parks across the United States. From a geyser to a canyon to a mountain peak, I have seen places that have not been touched by a human hand. Can you imagine if there comes a time where, let us say, an electronic billboard is erected in a national park? Or how about if a hotel or gift shop is constructed next to natural stone arches or powerful waterfalls? I for one would consider it a crime to spoil such natural, pristine beauty that is here on this planet. Not everything has to be new and fresh to be considered a natural beauty (good advice for some celebrities); I do not know when our values changed to discard old objects or look at a place and determine how it can generate money. It is this type of message that was the focus of this animated film. WHEN real estate developer Mr. Greene, voiced by Ken Jeong (Ride Along 2, Community-TV), commits to building condos in the Arctic home of Norm, voiced by Rob Schneider (50 First Dates, The Hot Chick), the talking polar bear decides to travel to American to change Mr. Greene’s mind. I have to be blunt and right to the point here; this adventure comedy was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. It was startling to say the least. The animation was poor, story weak, jokes both lame and inappropriate; I ask you what child needs to see a twerking polar bear? What in the world possessed Heather Graham (Boogie Nights, The Hangover franchise) as Vera and especially Bill Nighy (About Time, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel franchise) as Socrates to take part in this disaster? The movie studio behind this film, as far as I know, is not known for creating animated pictures and it showed. I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you the children in the audience never reacted to anything on the screen while most of the parents were either focusing on their snacks or smart phones. The only reason I am including an extra 1/4 star to the rating is because the message was sound, not that young children would understand the concept here. This movie was as lame as this joke: this film left me cold.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Revenant
The far reaching white expanse was marred by deep fissures that revealed touches of crystal blue running water. It almost looked like the ice had tears rolling down due to the frigid temperatures. The brightness reflecting off of all this ice made it difficult to shoot photos from my perch inside the helicopter. Once we landed on the ice I had the opportunity to take pictures but only if I left the warmth, comparatively speaking, from inside the chopper. As I stepped outside the still, frigid air settled on me like a bear hug. I felt my blood reversing course to go back and protect my internal organs, leaving my extremities to stiffen up from the cold. To take pictures I had to remove my gloves and I knew my fingers would quickly turn to rock solid stumps. The only way I cold function was to quickly snap multiple photos at a single time, alternating with the taking off and putting on of my bulky gloves. I grew up in a place that had 4 seasons, so I was used to the winter months; however here in Alaska, the cold seemed more intense. Maybe it was because there were no man made structures around just wide open spaces with the occasional rolled up snow drifts and broken ice chunks. Where I was visiting in Alaska there were no human inhabitants; I could not even imagine human life venturing to this area. Pristine and untouched, yet silently able to extinguish life with its icy breath it was all the more reason why I found this dramatic adventure film something special. CLOSE to death from a bear attack Hugh Glass, played by Leonardo DiCaprio (Inception, The Departed), was determined to stay alive in the unforgiving cold frontier. He had a special reason to reunite with his expedition. Inspired by true events this thriller was a monumental production. Included in the cast was Tom Hardy (Legend, Mad Max: Fury Road) as John Fitzgerald, Will Poulter (We’re the Millers, The Maze Runner) as Bridger and Domhnall Gleeson (About Time, Ex Machina) as Captain Andrew Henry; everyone deserved extra credit for the contribution they made to this incredible film. Both the directing and cinematography were outstanding. I especially admired the camera angles that were used in the shooting of multiple scenes. Honestly I do not know how the cast and crew survived such a long film shoot in such an inhospitable locale. There were a few cringeworthy scenes that included blood; I found myself squirming in my seat. Set in the 1820s this was a raw yet beautiful picture; the original soundtrack was a perfect accompaniment. At one point I had to keep reminding myself that the film studio would not want to lose anyone to the brutal elements so there had to be some protection set up for everyone. I have to tell you watching this film was like a workout for me; bundled up in my seat staring and cringing in disbelief.
3 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
I always know what to expect whenever I stop at one of these places. The only time I go to one is when I am out of town on vacation. You see when I am exploring a new area I do not want to spend time sitting down at a restaurant, waiting for someone to take my order and then having to wait further for my food to come to my table. This is why I will quickly grab something at a fast food establishment. I save eating at a local restaurant for dinner time. The only time I partake in fast food is when I am traveling out of state. If I have planned my day full of activities and sightseeing, I do not want to spend a lot of time taking in food. To me food is just fuel to continue my pace for the afternoon. The reason I eat fast food is because no matter where I am the meal is reliable; there are no surprises, nor do I have to think about how my body is going to react to something foreign. However, based on recent news there are reasons to worry about certain foods we eat these days. The meal is quick and adequate; I do not have to devote any thought to it, just consume and get out of the place. I know actually what to expect whenever I venture into such restaurants. I see my logic can be applied to other areas of interest, such as movie franchises. AFRAID Dave, played by Jason Lee (Chasing Amy, My Name is Earl-TV), was going to leave them once he proposed to Samantha, played by Kimberly Williams (Father of the Bride franchise, We are Marshall), Alvin and his brothers decided to follow Dave to Miami to stop the proposal. From the very beginning of this film I knew what to expect from the story. There was going to be the same type of humor, similar big song and dance numbers and an antagonist; in this case it was Tony Hale (Stranger Than Fiction, The Heat) as Agent Suggs. With the addition of Josh Green (Fair Haven, The Girl in the Book) as Miles, the story was set and off went the chipmunks. There was essentially nothing new to this latest installment of the franchise. Little children should still enjoy it though there were a couple of scenes that may not be appropriate for them. Except for one good dance number I was bored through a majority of this picture. I found it pretty predictable for the most part, besides the repetitive use of some sight gags. It seems to me this franchise is just following the same formula setup from the past films; there was nothing new or different. As long as the viewer knows what to expect once they get into the theater, I guess this movie serves some kind of a purpose.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
It has been years since we first got together; has it been decades already? Old friends who have seen and lived through so much together all these years. I remember when we first met; I was standing in a long line of people outside on a cloudless day. Though you were not native to the area we soon discovered we had things in common and became fast friends. Our conversations were never forced; in fact, we were comfortable enough to say anything because neither of us ever judged the other. Even when you were having father issues I was there for you. There were periods of time where we did not get to see each other. Remember when you went away to that remote place to find yourself? I will never forget when you found out you had a sister; you were over the moon. When I look back at the times we spent staring up at the stars, wondering which ones looked like they were in the throes of death, we really have experienced a lot together. And like any close friendship, no matter how long it has been between visits, we pick up right where we left off as if we had just seen each other yesterday. There is a certain comfort that comes with our conversations. Though we view things with older and wiser eyes, I still see younger images of us whenever we talk. To tell you the truth, memories of our past years always accompany you so that I always get a sense of home whenever we meet. THE years of peaceful harmony that followed the defeat of the Empire were about to be threatened from a new evil force called the First Order. Their plan involved the use of the dark side. This action adventure fantasy directed and co-written by J.J. Abrams (Super 8, Star Trek franchise) had the perfect balance between the past and present. Not that someone unfamiliar with the past Star Wars movies needs to see all of them, but it would help with some of this film’s humorous dialog. With relative newcomer Daisey Ridley as Rey, Oscar Isaac (A Most Violent Year, Ex Machina) as Poe Dameron and Adam Driver (This is Where I Leave You, What If) as Kylo Ren; I can say with certainty the franchise has been placed in capable hands. These three actors especially Daisy were powerful on screen. Is the story perfect; no, I do not believe so. I found a few parts to be a rehash from past films. There were also some scenes that shared a similarity with past ones. However, the overall movie viewing experience was really special. The entire audience acted and reacted in identical ways, from cheering at the unbelievable battle scenes to the sly remarks from past cast members. As a stepping stone for a new story arc, this picture will fulfill many viewers’ hopes and dreams. Things look good for a new force to take fight.
3 1/2 stars for Star Wars fans 3 1/4 stars for everyone else
Flash Movie Review: In the Heart of the Sea
One single seed over time can create a bodacious garden. All it takes is nourishment, encouragement and tenderness. The same holds true for writing a story. A kernel of a memory, truth or experience is all that is needed for the writer. My first published story was about me and my friends’ experiences selling door to door a variety of kitchen and houseware products for a charity. It started out with an incident one of my friend’s had, where he spent the rest of the day walking with me on my route. I took that event and created several companion pieces to accompany it in a series of sales stories told from different perspectives. Just recently a friend called me up after reading one of my reviews, asking me who I was writing about since they could not place me in my opening commentary. I had to remind them of the incident that caused me such anguish. Now I am sure there have been times where you read a story and were curious to know if there was any truth to it; I know I do it all the time. When I am writing each character I have a voice for them I hear in my head. Some of the voices are actual people I have heard while others were made up. I would love to know how authors come up with their stories. To hear the truth behind some of the classics or best sellers would be amazing. Having read the novel Moby Dick 3 times, I had no idea it was based on a true story; in turn, I was excited to see this movie. Herman Melville, played by Ben Whishaw (Spectre, Suffragette), was desperate to talk to Tom Nickerson, played by Brendan Gleeson (Harry Potter franchise, Gangs of New York), the last survivor of the New England whaling ship, the Essex. Tom’s unbelievable story about the destruction of the Essex would be the catalyst for Herman to write the story Moby Dick. This action adventure had huge special effects to match the size of the story. There were times I was trying to figure out how the scene was even done; they looked spectacular. With Chris Hemsworth (Rush, Thor franchise) as Owen Chase and Benjamin Walker (The War Boys, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) as George Pollard, there were two things happening in this biographical film. There was Herman listening to Tom for one story line and then there was Owen and George hunting for whales in the 1820s. I preferred watching Herman and Tom. Their acting and story was more memorable to me. Owen’s tale was too choppy; I felt it dragged in places, in others it just seemed ridiculous. It lacked emotion in my opinion. Honestly, I could see this script being a Broadway musical and working better than it did on film. Nonetheless I was fascinated with the story that was the impetus for the classic novel Moby Dick.
2 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Good Dinosaur
I always assumed as we got older we would have fewer things to frighten us. It seems that is not the case, we just trade them in for other ones. These days I hear individuals say they are afraid of growing old or scared to drive at night. I can relate to the growing old one; I still have so many things I want to do that I may not be able to do as well when I get older. Is it proper to say an older person’s fears are more rational than a child’s? I do not think so because I believe a child just has less exposure to the ways of the world compared to a seasoned adult. Recently I was using public transportation and saw a mother trying to get their little boy into the train car from the station. He was crying and screaming it turned out because he was afraid of the sliding doors that opened by themselves. I could understand it if the child had never seen this before; he may have been scared the doors would close on him. I can remember the first time I encountered an escalator; it looked like a scaly snake slithering uphill. My fear was compounded by the warnings about sleeves getting stuck in the rolling arm rails and shoelaces in the moving steps. After seeing other people walking onto the escalator first and with a little coaxing, I finally stepped on one of the moving platforms and rode up to the top. Of course, once I was done I had to go back and do it again because it was so much fun. Fear has a way of holding us back from discovering something new. CIRCUMSTANCES would force young Arlo, voiced by Raymond Ochoa (A Christmas Carol, Pair of Knights-TV), to conquer his fears; they had to if he ever wanted to see his family again. This animated adventure had an interesting idea for a story; what if dinosaurs never became extinct? The writers could have taken this in so many ways, but ultimately I feel it became a secondary theme to them. Instead this story, geared towards children, was pretty much standard fare. It did not offer any surprises for me. However, visually this picture was one of the most beautiful and realistic looking CGI created films I have ever seen. I kept catching myself focusing on the landscapes, trying to figure out if they were actually real. Since I have seen enough of these types of films, this one was strictly straightforward minus the humor. In fact, I was sure one scene showed the main characters eating something that produced hallucinations; I wondered how parents would explain this to their children. For a Pixar studio movie this one was lacking for me. Hopefully this was an anomaly so I won’t become afraid of seeing any of their future films.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2
This review comes with a disclaimer; I may have been influenced due to events that were out of my control. The evening had started out ideally for me since this movie was starting right after work. Luckily there wasn’t a big crowd buying tickets for this showing so my favorite seat was still available. I nestled into my seat before the start of 16 minutes worth of previews. We were 50 minutes into the movie before the screen suddenly went dark, followed by the light fixtures that were perched on the walls between the speakers. I looked up towards the projection booth that was steeped in darkness. Not sure what was happening I stayed in my seat like everyone else in the theater. It was no more than one to two minutes before the entire theater turned pitch black as all the remaining lights, including the running floor ones, lost power. Before anyone had time to take out their cell phone to use as a flashlight, several piercing bright strobe lights started flashing around the theater and a recorded voice announced there was an incident in the theater. The recording told us to walk not run in an orderly fashion to the nearest exit and leave the building immediately. My first reaction was annoyance that this was interrupting my movie watching experience. But as I noticed several patrons running to the exits, I was hit with a new reality. Since the exit to the main hallway was closest to me I made my way to it and slowly stuck my head out. There were people coming out of the multiple theaters, heading towards the main lobby. The building had lost power. We were ushered out the main doors where we stood for 20-25 minutes until power was restored and then allowed back in to finish watching our films. WITH the districts forming alliances Katniss Everdeen, played by Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle, X-Men franchise), had to convince them to direct their energy towards the capital and President Snow, played by Donald Sutherland (The Italian Job, An American Haunting). For the final installment to this science fiction adventure it was fortunate that Jennifer was the lead. Her acting along with Josh Hutcherson (Red Dawn, The Kids Are All Right) as Peeta Mellark kept me interested through the long script. I think it would have been better if the movie studio had not decided to split the last book into 2 films because I felt this one had a lot of filler in it. The 2nd half of this adventure picture was more exciting to me, though I enjoyed the mixture of emotions Peeta and Katniss were displaying in their roles. The movie as a whole was bleak where it felt as if it was going through a checklist of things to include in the story without going into much depth. Maybe due to my disruption, but this finale did not go out with a bang.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Peanuts Movie
Just as the rhythm section returns after the bridge in a song, so do the beats between long term friends whenever they get together. Preludes and introductions to events are never necessary because the bond between such friends has been seasoned and aged to perfection. Because I grew up with music and use it in my fitness classes, I am attuned to listening for the rhythm in almost any sound; so conversation to me has its own unique rhythms. Being with long term friends feels like a symphony because we are so comfortable in sync with each other, we can flow right into each other’s lives. The beauty of this is it does not matter how different we are from each other. When a group of us gets together one may be laid back, another high strung and someone else could be a bit scattered; no one cares since we have been part of each other’s life for so long. I have a close friend who lives out of state. We may not talk for months but when we finally do we fall right into step with each other as we share stories. Hopefully they are not reading this but I know they can be bitter or pessimistic but it is who they are and I would not change them for anything. The memories we have together are plentiful and they seem to soften any of the rough edges that may have formed on each of us. You know, it simply feels like home and that is how I felt with this animated comedy. THE Peanuts gang, which has been absent from the big screen for over 30 years, return with some subtle changes in this adventure film. Only viewers who grew up with the characters like Charlie Brown, voiced here by Noah Schnapp (Bridge of Spies) and Lucy, voiced here by Hadley Belle Miller (Branson the Sitcom-TV movie), would even notice a difference. For example Lucy looked the same except her hair had more depth to it. The CGI effects were used gently as the animators stayed true to each character’s look. The reason this film succeeded was due to the memories most people have about the Peanuts gang. At the showing I attended the majority of viewers were older. The story was very basic, incorporating past actions and events into the script. There were some new elements; I especially enjoyed Snoopy’s adventures through the picture. Though I will have to say it took time for me to get used to the look of the movie. I found myself wondering at times if I was looking at hand drawn scenes or computer enhanced ones. Credit has to go to the Schulz family and the people who worked on preserving the essence of the Peanuts comic strips into this picture. The enjoyment I felt from this film came from reliving my memories of these old friends.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Spectre
As I walked in the odor of old rubber was still there minus the cigarette smoke. To the left the bar had been enlarged with a small variety of craft beers. When I was younger they only served 2 brands from 2 spigots. There were familiar sounds playing out though some of them seemed more muted than what I remembered. However one particular sound still stood out whenever a ball was rolled down the bowling lane. It was the sound of hope and anticipation for the initial smack against the standing pins that would then scatter out of the way. The old bowling alley I used to go to had gone under renovation. Across all the lanes now hung TV monitors that kept everyone’s scores automatically, accented with colorful animations for each ball thrown. I did miss the fan vent in the middle of the ball return carousel that would blow cool air on the bowlers’ outstretched hand. It never occurred to me that it was used to keep a bowler’s hands dry; I assumed it was to keep one’s palm clean from dust or dirt. Just as I wrote that sentence it dawned on me how odd that must be because after every game my hands always had a dull black residue over them from the ancient bowling balls. It took me no time at all to get into the swing of things and have a good time in this updated place; I had enough memories to mix in with the new things done to the bowling alley. I had similar feelings with this action thriller. KEEPING a promise he made James Bond, played by Daniel Craig (Cowboys & Aliens, Defiance), would discover a trail of events that were created especially for him but had major consequences for everyone else. This latest adventure story in the movie franchise had a big budget to film in various locations around the world which were fun to see. Pretty much the story followed the requirements for what we all expect in a James Bond movie: intense fight scenes, hi-tech gadgets, a love interest and a diabolical enemy. But with a running time of 2 hours 28 minutes, the story was bloated with scenes that were predictable and felt like the actors were going through the motions. I thought Lea Seydoux (Blue is the Warmest Color, The Grand Budapest Hotel) as Madeleine Swann and Ben Whishaw (I’m Not There, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer) as Q were exceptionally good in their roles. What bugged me was casting the skilled actor Christoph Waltz (Carnage, Django Unchained) as Oberhauser then giving him such a poorly written role. This was par for the course since there were fun parts to this movie that played off my fond memories of the older Bond films, but then they had to deal with lackluster scenes. I had read Daniel said he would rather slit his wrists then do another Bond film which explained him looking tired. This is not the way I wanted to remember this James Bond.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Jem and the Holograms
It should not matter what other people think about the things that bring you joy. This seems like such a basic concept; you cherish desserts but your good friend does not or your significant other loves to go camping but you are not fond of it. For those individuals who shall we say have a stronger constitution, someone else’s thoughts and tastes have no bearing on their enjoyment. I knew this person who loved to dance; whenever the opportunity presented itself, they were the first one to get up and start dancing. They had a poor sense of rhythm but either they were not aware or just did not care. It did not stop some people from making comments or teasing remarks. Now some individuals who were not as sure of themselves as this dancer would probably stop dancing in public. For others they would ignore the remarks and comments, not stopping for anyone. I am aware this is not always an easy thing to do. When I first starting teaching fitness, I was a nervous wreck every time I walked into a class. Yelling in my mind were these voices that told me I was too big, not flexible or good enough; I was a fraud who was just pretending to be an instructor. There were so many other instructors who looked and acted the part with their snug fitting outfits that were color coordinated. I wore baggy basketball shorts, a loose T-shirt that had either a state logo or landmark and a baseball cap. It took me a long time to acquire the confidence to believe I was doing something good. Because of this I was able to understand what the main character was feeling in this musical adventure. NOT until a video of her singing was uploaded to the internet did Jerrica, played by Aubrey Peeples (Rage, Nashville-TV), begin to believe in herself. Along with her sisters they would become overnight sensations; but would it be too much for them to handle? I do not know where to begin because I was void of any feelings by the end of this dramatic fantasy film. If I can explain, the entire script sounded like an example that would be used for a screenwriter’s 101 class; it was cliched, predictable and sappy. I was not familiar with the 1980s cartoon series this movie was based on, but the robot story line seemed like a totally different movie from the singing one. Even Molly Ringwald (Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles) playing Aunt Bailey left me perplexed since she came across as a flat one dimensional character. The only worthwhile scenes were the ones that had singing in them. This was such an odd film; notice I did not even list any other actors because their acting was so sad. If any of them look back at this they might want to change careers. There was an extra scene in the beginning of the ending credits.
1 1/2 stars
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