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Flash Movie Review: Five Nights at Freddy’s
ONE OF MY EARLIEST MEMORIES OF amusement parks was me vomiting into a trash container. I remember the park because the ride I got sick on was one of those haunted, fun house attractions. There was a huge head that looked like an evil genie perched above the entryway, with its eyes moving from side to side as if scanning the park for its next victims. It was a family outing with a group of relatives and for the younger ones, which included me, this was our first time attending the amusement park. When I walked into the fun house, it was nearly pitch-black inside. There were objects that glowed and appeared to be floating in the air. At certain turns a mechanical figure would spring out to scare onlookers who were walking by. Being so young, I did jump and get scared multiple times; but, with my relatives nearby I never got to the point of being crying scared. I remember we came to a juncture where we had to go through a door that had cobwebs on it. Once we were through, we heard the door lock. We continued walking until we found ourselves in a dark space where the walls were formed into a full circle. As we gently walked into it, the continuous wall started to turn. In other words, it was like walking into a barrel that started rolling down a hill, but this rolling device stayed in one place. I could not keep my balance, constantly falling. As the pictures on the walls rolled by, I started to feel nauseous. Miraculously the spinning stopped, and a hidden door opened into the sunlight. I staggered out and made it to the trash container in time before my stomach decided to evacuate all its contents. ONE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WOULD have been my last time at an amusement park; but because of my earlier enjoyment of rides and carnival foods, I ventured to other amusement parks and learned what attractions were more agreeable with me and my body. I was a sucker for the games of chance, convinced I could win a stuffed animal easily. There was the shooting gallery where water guns were used to hit a target that would inflate a balloon. The first balloon to pop would be the winner. I never won that game. I also failed at the ring toss on top of a glass bottle and the pseudo basketball hoop game. I believe it was after a couple of years that I finally won one of those games; throwing a ball to knock off from their shelves, three hairy troll dolls. Out of the prizes offered, I chose a small, stuffed purple monkey. I felt so proud of myself. It was a good thing I did not have the knowledge then to add up how much it cost my family to pay for all the tries I took to finally win that small stuffed animal. There were so many different amusement parks I used to attend and gratefully not one of them was like the one in this mystery, horror thriller. DESPERATE TO EARN MONEY TO KEEP his daughter, a down on his luck father takes a nighttime security guard job at an abandoned amusement park. What he would experience would be worse than any of the rides. With Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games franchise, The Long Home) as Mike, Piper Rubio (Holly & Ivy, For All Mankind-TV) as Abby, Elizabeth Lail (Countdown, Ordinary Joe-TV) as Vanessa, Matthew Lillard (Scooby-Doo franchise, The Descendants) as Steve Raglan and Mary Stuart Masterson (Fried Green Tomatoes, Blindspot-TV) as Aunt Jane; this movie based on a video game was lost on me. Maybe if one was familiar with the game, the movie would make better sense; I found it simply odd and dull. I enjoyed Josh’s and Mary’s performances, but the script was a jumble of things that were never fully explained. As the movie was nearing its end, I thought the story was weird and made little sense. It might be best to take your money and use it to spend a day at an amusement park. There was an extra scene during the ending credits.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Wonder Park
I DID NOT CONSIDER IT ARGUING but my teacher did not feel the same way. The assignment given to us was to create illustrations for a book we were putting together. Each student was handed a page with the outline of a scene printed on it. Our job was to color in the figures and landscapes. Once done the teacher was going to put the drawn pages in the appropriate places between the pages we had written for the story we created. I took my drawing assignments seriously though I did not consider myself a good “artist.” My page had both people and objects in it, so I was diligently working on it with my crayons. I went over the outlines with crayons that I thought would look good on the drawing. For a couple of the figures I gave them a shadow, pretending the scene was of a sunny day. There were times I went outside the lines to add a jacket or hat. When the teacher walked by she stopped at my desk and asked what I was doing. I explained my picture to her, but she kept telling me that was not the assignment she gave us. I disagreed and tried explaining to her what I was creating; however, she was not interested in my explanation. She took my sheet away and replaced it with another one, telling me to follow her instructions. I thought I was doing that. MY IMAGINATION IS STILL AS STRONG now as it was back then. I do not think that teacher was trying to stifle my imagination; she just wanted the drawings done a certain way. At the time though, I felt bad that I had to redo my picture without any of the extra things I was incorporating into it. To me, the picture as it was presented was boring and needed something extra to make it stand out in the reader’s mind. When I think of the students I used to play and eat with, I realize now each of them also had a strong imagination. We would get together after a snow storm and create all these different things with just snow. In someone’s backyard we would make things like tunnels, trenches, guards, hills and ramps; all to be incorporated into whatever scenario we were creating in our minds. I always had an easier time connecting with someone who had an active imagination; for it was that imagination, that would carry us to fanciful places where we would plant the seeds of our dreams. It is exactly what the young girl in this animated adventure comedy was doing. WHILE WALKING IN THE WOODS JUNE, voiced by newcomer Brianna Denski, discovered an old, discarded roller coaster car. When she stepped into the car, it jogged a memory of a place she imagined as a little girl. With Jennifer Garner (Peppermint, Draft Day) voicing the Mom, Ken Judson Campbell (Groundhog Day, Home Alone) voicing Boomer, Mila Kunis (The Spy Who Dumped Me, Bad Moms franchise) voicing Greta and Kenan Thompson (Snakes on a Plane, Saturday Night Live-TV) voicing Gus; this story started out beautifully. The animation was wonderful, and the idea of the story was sweet and charming. Once the story moved to a different time and location everything fell apart for me. I thought the script was dark and disconnected. The idea of the evil protagonists was awful. Some children may react negatively to these characters. Afterwards I discovered why there was no directing credits listed for this movie and it explains why I felt the story was clunky. The idea for the story resonated with me, but there was little imagination used to make this picture stand out for me.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: Hell Fest
BEFORE I TELL YOU ABOUT THE different tricks I was made aware of, I want to say in no uncertain terms I never did any of them nor would I condone such things. I do not want someone to read this and think one of the tricks would be a great thing to do; they are definitely not. With the holiday Halloween fast approaching I am reminded of the outrageous stunts a few students did when I was in school. One boy would take dog poop (I never knew if he even owned a dog), wrap it in newspaper, put it in front of a person’s front door, light it on fire, ring their doorbell, then run somewhere nearby to hide. When the person opened the door, the first thing they would do is stomp on the newspaper to get the flame out. I think you know what happened next; I do not have to elaborate any further, do I? Another student used to bake chocolate chip cookies to pass out to the trick or treaters; but instead of using chocolate chips, they would use brown colored laxatives that they cut up to look like chocolate chips. These examples are only a couple out of the ones I had heard about in school. THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT HALLOWEEN THAT brings out the worst in people; I believe it. I had an apartment down in the city and every year I would stay indoors for this holiday because people would get crazy. I have wondered if there is some psychological thing about dressing up in a costume and taking on the persona of that character. It just seems as if people feel they can act out in ways they normally would not do. There was this one time I remember walking down a crowded street where it seemed as if everyone was in costume. One guy was dressed as Harpo Marx, the one with curly hair who never spoke but used a horn. He was going up behind people and scaring them with his horn; blasting it just before he would poke them in the buttocks with it. No one was safe since he was doing it to both men and women. I was surprised no one punched him. Seeing stuff like this was the reason why I decided to always stay home on this holiday; I do not want to deal with people acting out. Speaking of Halloween bringing out the worst in people, it evidently applies to movies because this film would be a good example of it. WHEN A TRAVELING FRIGHT SHOW OPENS in town, a serial killer finds the perfect place to feed his needs. Everyone attending will think he is part of the show. This horror picture starred Bex Taylor-Klaus (The Last Witch Hunter, Scream: The TV Series) as Taylor, Reign Edwards (The Bold and the Beautiful-TV, MacGyver-TV) as Brooke, Amy Forsyth (Beautiful Boy, The Path-TV) as Natalie, Courtney Dietz (Vampire Academy-TV, The Gifted-TV) as Britney and Christian James (Dollface, Freefall-TV) as Quinn. Because I was told it is always better to start out saying something positive before a negative, I will say I enjoyed the last scene of this movie. Up until that time I was bored senseless. The acting was pitiful, the script was void of reason, there was nothing that I had not seen done better before; I felt the writers only used an outline as a script without doing anything creative. Every scene was predictable, so there was never a point where I got surprised. How many times do I need to see an axe being swung into a chest or a syringe stuck into an eyeball? If this is the caliber of movies coming out for Halloween I vote we fast forward to Thanksgiving.
1 ½ stars