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Flash Movie Review: Spring Breakers
I wondered what their parents would do if they really knew what their daughters were doing during spring break. Not only the parents in this outrageous film, but I thought about the actors’ parents in real life. I took the antics of the four female co-stars as a sad commentary on what happens to these young children who are thrust into the limelight at such an early age. A majority of them grow up with a warped sense of reality in my opinion. Without a sense of structure or parameters of what is acceptable behavior, these young adults act out in extreme ways, as they did in this film. Best friends Faith, Candy, Brit and Cotty; played by Selema Gomez (Monte Carlo, Ramona and Beezus), Vanessa Hudgens (Sucker Punch, Thirteen), Ashley Benson (13 Going on 30, Bart Got a Room) and Rachael Korine (Mister Lonely, Septien), wanted to experience a life different from their lives back home. Making their way to Florida for spring break, the girls immersed themselves into a hedonistic non-stop frenzy of hard partying. Having kept his eye on the wild friends; an opportunity presented itself where drug dealer Allen, played by James Franco (127 Hours, Oz the Great and Powerful), was able to bail the girls out of a tough predicament. The allure of Allen’s money and power challenged the bond between the four girls, putting into question their desire to go back to the lives they led back home. This was a movie filled with extremes; from excessive drugs to random nudity to swearing to slow motion vomiting, it had everything. For a majority of the film I was bored, finding the repetitive antics tiresome. The filming style had a unique edge that I found interesting, however. Finally James Franco gave a committed, solid performance with his drug dealing character; I wished there had been more story about him. Even with an avant-garde manner to the story and filming, this movie needed to take a break from its excessiveness or at least be forced with a curfew.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Call
There is already an innate level of creepiness built in this thriller due to the subject matter. Though any type of kidnapping is awful, when one hears of an amber alert there is a deeper dread for that innocent child. Right at the start I got hooked by seeing all the activity in the 911 call center. Being unfamiliar with the inner workings, I was quickly pulled into the building intensity around veteran operator Jordan Turner, played by Halle Berry (X-Men franchise, Cloud Atlas). On her phone line was a young girl reporting an intruder was in her house. From this scene going forward the level of tension was uneven. There were times I found myself holding my breath, anxious for what was going to happen next. But then there were scenes that fell flat. One of the reasons was because I had already seen several pivotal scenes in the trailers. If you have not seen any of the trailers, I suggest you do your best to avoid them. I understand the movie studio has to market their movie and having trailers only of Halle in the 911 call center would not necessarily translate to increased ticket sales. The other factor that diminished the apprehensiveness was the cheesiness in the script. If the writers would have kept the story as a taut, pressure cooker race against the clock buildup; this film would have been a real heart stopper. Add in a wonderful performance by Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine, Zombieland) as Casey Welson, along with Michael Eklund (Watchmen, 88 Minutes) as Michael Foster and Morris Chestnut (Boyz n the Hood, Identity Thief) as Officer Paul Phillips; this movie could have had a lot more punch. Also, I thought the ending was not well thought out and unrealistic. Because of this movie I know the next time I see an amber alert flashing across the highway signs, I will have more to imagine now. A few scenes had blood and violence in them.
2 1/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Dead Man Down
My revenge was fueled by all the past years’ wrongs. From the older neighbor boy who threw a rock at me to the former boss who enjoyed being mean. The anger I had inside made up what I refer to as my dark side. Members in my class cannot believe I had a dark side. I point out to them that I am a credit manager during the day. Also, I tell them I never forget a customer who promised me a check then did not send it. This is preferable than telling them some of the things I did in the past when my dark side was dominant. Like the time the mean boss was calling for help from a bathroom stall as I walked into the restroom. I turned right around, shut the lights off and closed the door behind me as I walked out. So you see I am familiar with revenge and maybe that is why I enjoyed this movie thriller. From the director of the original The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo movie; Niels Arden Oplev directed this, his first English speaking film. Colin Farrell (Seven Psychopaths, Total Recall) played Victor, a rising criminal who reluctantly agreed to help Beatrice, played by Noomi Rapace (Prometheus, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows), get revenge on the man who disfigured her face. There was a problem; Victor was in the middle of enacting revenge on someone else already. He was doing this while being a member of a gang led by Alphonse, played by Terrence Howard (Red Tails, The Brave One). The story was nutty, a little too crazy for me. But you know I did not really care because I enjoyed Colin and Noomi in their roles. There was graphic violence with blood, explosions and careening plot twists. Then right in the middle of it all you got a budding romance. Go figure; maybe it is because I know revenge, but I do enjoy a story where the underdog gets a fair chance to win one. Also, I prefer watching a movie about revenge than being that person who used to act out with the dark side years ago. Scenes of blood and violence.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Horrible Bosses
One of my first bosses thought he inherited a kingdom instead of a business from his father. I had an inkling of this during my first week at the job. The owner came into the warehouse, took off his shoes, handed them and a shoe shining kit he was carrying to an employee and told the worker to go shine them. I was flabbergasted by the owner’s behavior. Later in the week another incident left me shocked and disgusted. My boss came into the warehouse, walked up to a different employee and handed him his hairbrush, telling the man to take it into the bathroom and clean it. I was prepared to quit if I was ever asked to clean something of his. As it turned out, because I was a good driver, the owner would give me the keys to his expensive luxury car to do errands for him and his mother. I was agreeable to this type of task. This was my introduction into the work world. Luckily I never experienced the bosses that were in this wild comedy. Jason Bateman (Identity Thief, Up in the Air), Jason Sudeikis (The Campaign, Hall Pass) and Charlie Day (Going the Distance, A Quiet Little Marriage) played best friends Nick Hendricks, Kurt Buckman and Dale Arbus. During a night of drinking and commiserating about their vile bosses, the trio plotted a way to do away with their evil superiors. Though the premise was over the top, the cast really made this film fun to watch. I was stunned by Jennifer Aniston’s (Wanderlust, The Bounty Hunter) performance as Dr. Julia Harris, D.D.S.; not her usual type of role and she nailed it. Along with Kevin Spacey (Moon, The Usual Suspects) and Colin Farrell (Total Recall, Seven Psychopaths), these actors were wickedly contemptuous in their roles. A fast paced, joke laced, crazy caper movie; you may find it totally unbelievable. Before you judge this film because you cannot believe there can be such bosses in the real world, remind me to tell you about another boss I worked for who would steal our customer’s eye glasses. Some scenes with strong language.
2 3/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: A Good Day to Die Hard
At the age of 90 my uncle decided to give up driving. He told us he was not as fast as he used to be. Look at Jerry Seinfeld, he decided to end his television show while it was still getting top ratings and not sliding into mediocrity. As I am aging I know there will come a time when I will have to dial back from teaching my classes. If I cannot provide what the members want for their workout, I am realistic enough to know it is time for me to step aside. Look at the movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The time between this film and the previous one in the franchise was 19 years. It should never have been made; it was a black mark for the franchise. Let us now focus on this latest installment of the Die Hard franchise. Six years since the last one, Bruce Willis (Looper, Moonrise Kingdom) is now a 57 year old John McClane in this action film. Discovering his estranged son Jack, played by Jai Courtney (Stone Bros., Spartacus: War of the Damned-TV), was sitting in a Russian prison waiting to go to trial, John decided to fly out to see what he could do to save his son. Once in Russia, John soon discovered his son was really a CIA operative assigned to protect Russian underworld kingpin Komarov, played by Sebastian Koch (The Lives of Others, Unknown). If this is not making sense to you, no need to worry because nothing really made sense. I found it amazing that the guns used in this film never ran out of bullets or one of the top henchmen talked about his love of tap dancing. I am not making this crazy stuff up. This idiotic movie was one loud fight scene after another, filled with crashes and explosions. And poor John McClane stuck in a time warp from the 1980’s, repeating his catchphrases over and over to the point the jokes were pulverized into dullness. This movie was the perfect example of what happens when you stay past your prime; you remind everyone how much better you used to be.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Side Effects
This past summer I was prescribed an anti-inflammatory drug due to an injury I had on an amusement park roller coaster. That turned out to be my last roller coaster ride. The drug wreaked havoc with my digestive system to the point I never finished the prescription. I decided to take matters into my own hands. Just as I tell my fitness classes, when it comes to our bodies, I believe in the use it or lose it philosophy. I see the body as a medicine cabinet stored with antidotes to a a variety of ailments. When I sense something is different, such as a stuffy nose or scratchy throat; I begin a battle plan of tried natural remedies to combat the invading bugs. I prefer taking the least amount of drugs as possible; but that is just me. After seeing this movie, you better believe I will stay with my methods. In this psychological thriller Emily Taylor, played by Rooney Mara (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Social Network), was prescribed a new antidepressant with side effects that drastically altered her life and the lives of the people around her. Channing Tatum (Magic Mike, 21 Jump Street) was Emily’s supportive husband Martin Taylor. Jude Law (Sherlock Holmes franchise, Cold Mountain) played Dr. Jonathan Banks, whose methods came into question for prescribing the antidepressant. Catherine Zeta-Jones (Chicago, Broken City) was Emily’s former doctor, Victoria Siebert. It has been reported that director Steven Soderbergh (Ocean’s Eleven franchise, Traffic) has said this would be his last movie to direct. Based on this film, it would be a shame if audiences were to be deprived of his keen sense of pacing and layering of a story. This movie had a few twists along the way that swelled into a a dramatic turn of events. I thought the cast did an excellent job, especially Rooney and Jude. If anything, I wished Soderbergh had pushed even more intensity out of his actors. This film may not be the ultimate pinnacle of Steven’s career; but he certainly can leave with his head held high for this spiraling mystery of a thriller. Brief scene with blood.
3 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Identity Thief
It took me a longer time than usual to write this movie review. I had to look and see if I was being overly sensitive. As some of you may already know, the “F” word that I never say is F-A-T. Having been called that word throughout my childhood, I grew to despise the word and everything associated with it. If the movie studio had used an actress that was slender, I wondered if the comedy scenes would have still worked. The story was about Sandy Patterson, played by Jason Bateman (Horrible Bosses, Arrested Development-TV), who traveled to Florida to find the woman who had stolen his identity. Besides maxing out his charge cards and ruining his credit, there was also a warrant out for his arrest. Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids, Mike & Molly-TV) played the fraudster Diana. To answer my earlier question, several scenes would not have worked with a slimmer actress. No matter who would have been cast, the fact was this movie was not funny. Though I will say Melissa did her best with what was thrown at her, using her impeccable comedic timing. The scenes shown in the movie trailers were the best parts of this bad movie. Didn’t someone read the finished script; it made no sense and was poorly thought out. Besides the main story, the writers threw in a second story about two henchmen chasing Diana for selling their boss bad, fake credit cards. If that was not enough there was another story line about a skip tracer, played by Robert Patrick (Gangster Squad, Walk the Line), who was hunting down the fake Sandy Patterson. I commend Melissa for all the physical comedy she had to perform, but it was such a constant stream that it turned into a ridiculous, slurry of lame stunts. The use of John Cho (Star Trek, Harold & Kumar franchise) and Amanda Peet (Identity, A Lot like Love) was a waste for the little screen time they had for their roles. There was one part I did not mind and it was the scene with Eric Stonestreet (Bad Teacher, Modern Family-TV) as Big Chuck. After re-reading this review I have to say I found this film offensive.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Bullet to the Head
At this stage of my life there a few things I would like to give back and a few items I wish I could get again. It would be nice to have the thick head of hair I once had when I was younger. Back then I did not have to worry about raindrops sliding off my scalp and into my eyes. I wish I could give back the annoying brief dizziness I get when I stand up too fast from a reclined position. I understand these things are part of the territory when one ages; so truthfully, I do not give much thought to it. My philosophy is these age related things are infinitely better than the possible alternatives. I cannot understand people who are obsessed with youthfulness by altering their bodies to almost unrecognizable states. That is one of the reasons I had a hard time watching this crime thriller. Sylvester Stallone (The Expendables franchise, Cop Land) did not look human to me. Playing hit man James Bonomo, I found the role to be a narcissistic vehicle for Sylvester. There was the obligatory scene of Sylvester wearing boxers, so movie goers could gaze upon his chiseled body. The story had Sylvester’s character teaming up with detective Taylor Kwon, played by Sung Kang (Ninja Assassin, Fast & Furious franchise), when each of their partners were killed. The deaths lead the two men to a citywide, deadly scheme of corruption fronted by dirty businessman Robert Nkomo Morel, played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Killer Elite, Lost-TV). Except for the tight fight scenes, I found this to be a lazy movie. The script was uninspired, offering several tepid catch phrases. There was nothing new in the movie, leaving me bored. As far as I was concerned, I thought Sylvester should embrace his age and look for roles that would be more appropriate for him. By the end of the film; I felt as if a gun had been pointed to my head, forcing me to sit through this poorly done movie.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Stand Up Guys
True friends are the bright lighthouses that help illuminate your life’s path. There to offer support, concern and love; friends are the safe keepers of one’s history. Part of my inner circle is made up of friends from my childhood. We may not see each other often; but when we do, our conversations do not miss a beat from our previous time together. With one friend, we leave each other daily voice messages on each other’s phones. Just to say hi and stay updated on daily events; this is how we keep track of each other. Like those friends you can have non-verbal conversations with, the relationship between friends Val and Doc was the highlight of this movie. Al Pacino (Scarface, The Merchant of Venice) and Christopher Walken (Seven Psychopaths, Hairspray) did a masterful job playing long time con men Val and Doc. Their looks, their pauses all contributed to a wonderful and believable performance. Being released after 28 years in prison, Val and Doc set off for one last night out on the town before Doc had to complete the job he was hired to do–kill Val. The two men spring their good friend Hirsch, played by Alan Arkin (Argo, Get Smart), from his retirement home and head out to adventure in a stolen car. The three actors made this crime film. I appreciated that the script was tailored to their ages instead of trying to portray them as younger action heroes, like some recent movies have done with their movie stars. The actors did their best with the script which I found muddled and loose. The story went with an easy sentimental value instead of tighter excitement; it took some time for the pace to pick up. Part crime and part comedy, the movie had an identity crises that could have been solved if the writers had given more to these aged to perfection actors.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Parker
An idyllic setting of a good old fashioned state fair was a wonderful opening to this action crime film. Having been born and raised in a large city, seeing the activities and events at the fair were a bit foreign to me. What I found attractive was the sense of peaceful camaraderie among the people. Not that I would ever go on an amusement ride that would spin me around or enter a pie eating contest. You may be surprised by that but I do not eat food from someone I do not know. As a result I never partake in potluck dinners and absolutely no buffets. I am not eating any food that has been guarded by a sneeze guard. But I can do a whole post on my neuroses; let me get back to the movie. From this opening scene the main character Parker, played by Jason Statham (Safe, The Transporter franchise), was walking through the fair, dressed as a priest. The opening scene was the best this film had to offer. It pretty much is a given what type of movie to expect with Jason as the star. A smattering of witty lines, bloody tough fight scenes and Jason doing the same type of role he has done before in his films. In this movie he was a thief in a gang led by Melander, played by Michael Chiklis (The Shield-TV, Fantastic Four franchise). After being double crossed, Parker followed the group to Palm Beach to take what was rightfully due him. To put his plan in place, Parker would need the help of desperate realtor Leslie Rodgers, played by Jennifer Lopez (Out of Sight, Maid in Manhattan). Seeing Jennifer in this role, all I kept thinking was she left American Idol for this? It was an odd role and I did not think it was anything special. Just as strange was seeing Patti LuPone (Heist, City by the Sea) playing Leslie’s mother. If you enjoy Jason’s other movies, this one will probably satisfy you. For me there was nothing new in this predictable story.
1 3/4 stars
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