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Flash Movie Review: The Naked Gun
HUMOR IS SUCH A FLUID EMOTION; at least I think so. With the different styles of humor, not everyone finds the same things funny. For example, I do not much care for slapstick or physical types of humor. Where someone trips or falls down a flight of stairs, I do not find the humor in such things. However, I know a person who cannot stop laughing at such things. A friend of their’s slipped on the way down a staircase, and wound up bumping all the way down on their backside! My friend could not stop laughing; though, they at least were able to get these words out between the guffaws, “Are you ok?” Oddly, I used to love the cartoons of a road runner bird versus a coyote. If you are not familiar with them, the coyote would come up with different kind of traps to capture the bird, but they would always backfire. The reason I loved this cartoon was not for these scenarios but the inventions and ingenuity the coyote used in setting the traps. And as you know, in cartoon world, the character never dies; so no matter how many explosions, falls, and fire bombs the coyote experienced, they always survived. MY TYPE OF HUMOR IS MORE esoteric. One may need to think about it or imagine it as it is being told to you. I also enjoy stories where certain words or phrases can have two meanings a/k/a double entendres. One liner jokes is another form of humor that I am fond of, from the likes of Rodney Dangerfield to Joan Rivers to Don Rickles, for example. As I grew older, I discovered the art of story telling humor, and especially satire. i had a relative who had such a dry sense of humor that I always loved. It takes real skill to spin a story and make it both relatable, funny, and at times absurd. Now, though I do not have a problem with profanity being used by some comedians, I strongly dislike when “dirty” and derogatory words are peppered throughout one’s act. Referring to females with the “B” word is not funny to me. If I am at a comedy club or attending a comedian’s concert, I used to feel awkward when everyone around me was laughing while I just sat still with no emotion coming out of me. When I became an adult, I learned how to fake a laugh and put an amused look on my face. Gratefully, I don’t do that anymore because I am not intimidated by being the only person not reacting to a comedian’s joke. Not that it was an issue for me while watching this action, crime comedy reboot. FOLLOWING IN HIS FATHER’S FOOTSTEPS, A detective uses his special skills to try and save the world. With Liam Neeson (Marlowe, In the Land of Saints and Sinners) as Frank Drebin Jr., Pamela Anderson (The Last Showgirl, City Hunter) as Beth Davenport, Paul Walter Hauser (The Luckiest Man in America, Queenpins) as Ed Hocken Jr., Danny Huston (The Crow, The Dead Don’t Hurt) as Richard Cane, and CCH Pounder (RoboCop 3, NCIS: New Orleans-TV) as Chief Davis; this slapstick satire worked because of Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson. Having Liam in this role was genius because of his tough serious guy persona, and the chemistry between him and Pamela made it easy for each to play off of the other. I liked the way the story brought in elements of the original franchise, and the jokes and gags were non-stop. Not necessarily my type of humor for the most part; however, there were a few times where I chuckled during a scene. All in all, this picture was a short and tidy piece that accomplished what it set out to do. Nothing new or astonishing, just a bit of nostalgia that hoped it would get a laugh out of the viewer.
2 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Crow
ACTS OF LOVE CAN BE EXPRESSED in many ways, from diamonds to kidneys. Yes, I said kidneys. A friend’s father had issues with his kidneys and needed a transplant. My friend immediately offered one of his if it would be a match. Gratefully, they were, and the operation was done soon after. My friend never hesitated; he and his dad were always close and now this act made them even closer. It was a selfless, loving act, and I am happy to report that the two of them are perfectly fine and healthy today. Another act of love I witnessed was our friend’s girlfriend nurse him back from the brink of death. He contracted a virus that brought on a cornucopia of issues where his body was shutting down. For weeks he was in intensive care and his girlfriend never left his side. Since she had a medical background, she checked everything the nurses and doctors were doing for him, from tests to administering drugs. One doctor was supposed to perform a vital test on a certain day that would lead the medical staff in the right direction toward treatment. This doctor came to see my friend when the girlfriend was in the hospital cafeteria eating lunch. When she returned and asked her boyfriend if the doctor showed up and performed the procedure, my friend told her he showed up but did not do the test. She immediately hunted him down in the hospital and let me just say, “read him the riot act.” The doctor returned that afternoon and performed the test on my friend. BESIDES WITNESSING ACTS OF LOVE BETWEEN humans, I have seen acts between humans and animals. To me, they are just as valid. I was on vacation, staying at an inn where the owners made a breakfast buffet each morning for the guests. While I was seated at a table sampling the baked goods, an obvious senior dog slowly came into the dining room. The dog had a limp as it walked, which was a good thing because it bumped into the leg of a chair that a recently departed guest had not pushed all the way back into the table. Keeping a watch on the dog, I quickly realized it must be blind by the way it was brushing into things around the buffet table. When the owners appeared and made their round of greetings to each occupied table of guests, when they came up to me, I asked the age of their dog. He was thirteen years old, and they confirmed he was blind and arthritic. We started talking about pets and they shared they had to carry him on stairs and serve him soft food because he was missing some teeth. It was obvious to me how much they loved him; when they were describing the things they did for him, I did not detect any negative feelings from them. They simply loved their pet and would take care of him all the way to the end of his life. What loving dog owners. These acts of love and witnessing them are part of the reason I felt I would bond with the story in this fantasy, action horror romance. AFTER BEING BRUTALLY MURDERED ALONGSIDE HIS girlfriend in a home invasion Eric, played by Bill Skarsgard (It franchise, Nosferatru), finds himself being alive in another world. The love he had for his girlfriend prevented him from completely dying, giving him the chance to get revenge on all those who murdered the two of them. With FKA twigs (Honey Boy, Brighton Beach) as Shelly, Danny Huston (The Dead Don’t Hurt, Ride Above) as Vincent Roeg, Josette Simon (The Witches, Tell that to the Winter Sea) as Sophia, and Laura Birn (Void, A Walk Among the Tombstones) as Marion; this supernatural crime film had potential. The chemistry between Bill and FKA twigs seemed authentic and though it took a while to pick up, their love story was interesting despite being quick in nature. Sadly, the script and directing did not create a solid story. The pacing was odd, going from fast action to soft loving reminiscences to supernatural scenes. I found parts of the movie went slowly and never felt deep emotions except for Bill’s character. Also, maybe it was a false expectation on my part, but I thought there would be more back story to Bill’s character, both the inmate and superhero sides. It made me question how he suddenly became this tough fighter, for example. Ultimately, I was bored through most of the time and wished I could have at least liked it. There were several scenes filled with blood and violence.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: The Professor
IT WAS OUR PASSION FOR WORKING out that sparked our friendship. Meeting at the house of mutual friends, I knew immediately he was into fitness. My first clue was the food he had on his plate. From all the choices available at the buffet table, he chose the items with the least amount of carbs. Also, he was wearing a light colored T-shirt that was stretched to the max across his chiseled torso and bulging biceps. It was over at the table set up as the bar, where I made a comment about his plate of food. He, in turn, asked where was my plate. When I explained I stop eating 5 hours before going to sleep, I could tell my comment piqued his interest. From there we got into a discussion about health and exercise, sharing our journey into fitness. I shared stories about witnessing the effects brought on by family members’ poor health and how I started questioning the things I was doing that might trigger into action those same poor genes I shared with them from the family gene pool. It turned out we had a similar history that motivated us to take better care of ourselves. Before the evening was over, we both had a good sense of each other and agreed to hang out at some point. FROM THAT RANDOM MEETING AT THAT party, we wound up becoming pretty good workout buddies. When time permitted we would meet at the health club and become each other’s coach and spotter. It must have been 6 or 8 months later when he got the news that would change his life forever. On a routine doctor visit it was discovered he had a serious disease. Because he was so fit, he did not notice the early symptoms. From that point on things changed, as you would expect. He still met me at the gym but not as often; not because he did not want to, but because he was busy getting his house ready to sell. Upon getting the news, he decided he did not want to live and die in a cold climate. Instead, he planned on moving to a warmer city on the west coast. He still kept close to his workout routine but the times did not mesh with my availability. By the time we were in the middle of the autumn season, he had sold most of his furnishings, grew a beard and bought a house. Though he hadn’t finalized the sale of his current house, he wanted to get out and start enjoying the days he had remaining in a warm climate. I was impressed with his matter of fact actions in completely uprooting himself to seek out comfort for his remaining days. I don’t know if I would have the same courage as him or the main character in this dark comedic drama. UPON RECEIVING DIRE NEWS ABOUT HIS HEALTH Richard, played by Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, Black Mass) changed the way he was teaching his classes and also the people around him. With Rosemarie DeWitt (Your Sister’s Sister, Rachel Getting Married) as Veronica, Odessa Young (Assassination Nation, The Daughter) as Olivia, Danny Huston (The Aviator, The Constant Gardener) as Peter and Zoey Deutch (Before I Fall, Dirty Grandpa) as Claire; this film festival nominee had a decent cast of actors. Johnny was ok but he did not provide me with something new that I had not seen before. The script had an occasional glimmer of hope, but I felt it lacked in developing the characters. There were several chances for this story to well up into an emotional peak but I felt the writers wanted to play it safe. So instead what was left for the viewer was a repeat of actions and emotions; as if, the writers wanted to not only numb the main character but the audience as well.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Angel Has Fallen
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY SOME people are so hellbent on proving someone wrong. They seem as if they get immense pleasure out of them being right and you being wrong. I will never forget this one individual who was such a stickler on details, that he would interrupt a person from talking just to correct them. The conversation was about a new restaurant and the individual was telling us the place was in the middle of the block. This person who likes being right had to interject himself into the conversation to let the teller know the restaurant was three doors down from the end of the block. Can you believe it? I think anyone who planned on going to try the restaurant would be able to find it from “being in the middle of the block.” But this individual needed, for some reason, to show everyone they were right. I am sure others in the group were thinking the same thing that I was: What is up with this person? There are several reasons I could come up with to explain this person’s behavior, from lack of confidence to possibly OCD tendencies; but to delve into it, would take up the space for today’s movie review. BESIDES HAVING EXPERIENCED SITUATIONS LIKE THE one I mentioned above, I have been the one who believed was right about an issue. I was listening to my friend talk about a friend of hers who needed help in cleaning up a room in her house. There were heavy pieces of furniture and a lot of clutter that prevented her from moving through the room in her condition. My friend agreed and set a date to come over to the house. When she got there, she discovered there was more to the story. To get to the room, she would need to clean the hallway of its stuff consisting of boxes and piles of papers. I told my friend she better be careful because this friend of hers was going to dump more work onto her. My reasoning was based on her not mentioning the hallway; as if the furniture in the room could levitate over all the stuff strewn down the hallway. We discussed this at some length; she was way more forgiving then me. I told her because her friend did not mention the extent of the work involved, her friend would not stop asking for more and more help. And sure enough, a couple of weeks later the friend asked for help in cleaning the closets; the excuse being, once the closets were cleared up then there would be room for my friend to move stuff from the floor into the closet. I warned her, but she did not listen. It was frustrating to convince my friend of the truth; just as it was for the main character in this action movie. HAVING SAVED THE PRESIDENT FROM AN assassination attempt; secret service agent Mike Banning, played by Gerard Butler (Den of Thieves, Machine Gun Preacher), had to find a way to convince everyone he was not part of the plot, despite what the evidence showed. With Danny Huston (Wonder Woman, The Professor) as Wade Jennings, Morgan Freeman (Going in Style, Last Knights) as President Trumbull, Frederick Schmidt (Brimstone, Patient Zero) as Travis Cole and Piper Perabo (The Prestige, Imagine Me & You) as Leah Banning; this 3rdin the film franchise was unimaginative with its script. The story was basic, and I was able to quickly figure out the bad guys. The main driver to this picture was the action. It was good but not exceptionally good. Being a basic good guys/bad guys battle, the scenes were mostly filled with explosions and fights; nothing new or real exciting here. Not that I have to be the right one, but you don’t need to rush to see this picture. And certainly not for a full priced admission.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Stan & Ollie
I DID NOT CRINGE UNTIL SHE attempted to speak. She had assistance walking across the stage of the awards show; it was expected considering her frailty and advanced age. In her day, decades ago, she was a top billing major star. Now as I watched her trying to talk, it was obvious to me she was quite confused. I had no idea if the producers of the show requested her or her management team offered her; either way, I felt uncomfortable and sad. Growing old is harder when it is done in the public eye; I think about myself with the classes I teach. Will I know when it is the time to hang up my cycling and yoga apparel? Will I graciously retire when I realize, if I even realize, I am not teaching class at the same level as I have in the past? These are things I have given thought to as I have grown older. I look at some people who have obviously had extensive plastic surgery and wonder why they did it. There has never been a time I have seen an older celebrity and not known they had altered themselves simply by looking at their semi-paralyzed face or their skin stretched tightly like plastic wrap sealing a bowl of leftovers. What is it they are trying to do? ONE OF THE ANSWERS I CAN come up with is they do it because they still need to get adulation and compliments from people. I would like to know how having a wrinkled face would stop someone from admiring you. I went to a concert that was being held in a small movie theater; the headliner was a celebrity who was past his prime. What I mean is their voice could no longer handle their song catalog and their dance moves were reduced to a simple swaying side to side. He was only one of the musical acts; so, there were some people in the audience who had no idea who this man was and what songs he had sung that brought him fame. If it were me I could not get on stage and perform unless I categorically knew it would be at the same caliber as before. As I write this I am reminded about former celebrities who either do advertisements or shall we say low-brow projects. I always wonder if they need the money or they are so starved for attention. Regarding this film festival winning biography, I haven’t yet decided which one the comedy duo needed. AFTER THEIR FAME AND FORTUNE HAD dimmed in the world Laurel and Hardy, played by Steve Coogan (Philomela, The Dinner) and John C. Reilly (Holmes & Watson, The Sisters Brothers), decided they would re-capture it by doing a live tour. It didn’t matter to them that they were older and maybe not as wise. This comedic drama’s story was based on actual events. Without a doubt this picture’s fate was dependent on Steve and John. Gratefully, the two of them were stupendous. I might have to tip the scales more to John’s Oliver Hardy being more authentic, but it still would be a tight race between the two of them. With them front and center the other actors like Shirley Henderson (Transporting franchise, Bridget Jones franchise) as Lucille Hardy and Nina Arianda (Midnight in Paris, Florence Foster Jenkins) as Ida Kitaeva Laurel; though good, were more in the background for me. I thoroughly enjoyed watching this picture. Seeing some of the original comedy acts Laurel and Hardy used to perform and getting the back story on them was a treat. I thought the script and direction worked hand in hand to produce a well-rounded bit of comedic history. Make sure you stay through the credits to see actual clips of the two the producers reproduced in this wonderful film.
3 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Wonder Woman
I have chosen to believe there are more people on this planet who want to do good than those who wish to do harm. Granted there have been times where I did not think that was the case. From time to time I still remember a kid in elementary school who tortured and killed a cat. Though “they” say people can change, I have my doubts about this person. Just as I was leaving for the office this morning I heard on the news authorities found baby coyotes drowned in a bucket of water. It seems the past several weeks only horrific news of people taking the lives of others has been reported. I can tell you it is not easy to stay positive with what has been taking place around all of us. However an example will come by that renews or restores my faith and give me hope that good will overpower evil. RECENTLY after seeing this film I was watching a news magazine type of television show. A segment was devoted to a woman who has devoted her life to protecting elephants from poachers. She even moved her family to Kenya so she could commit more time to her efforts. I was amazed as I watched this woman negotiate with the village elders to help by reporting to the authorities any sightings of poachers in their area. If I remember correctly she helped set up a program to help captured poachers get rehabilitation and find them decent employment opportunities. They even showed 2 poachers who were sworn enemies that now are friends, working as forest rangers. All of this woman’s efforts were geared to protect elephants from being slaughtered for their tusks. One of the things I find fascinating about individuals who devote such energy towards goodness is where their motivation comes from. Is it something they are born with or does it come from a series of events? Not being familiar with the Wonder Woman character I was totally impressed by her motivation to do good in this action adventure fantasy. WHEN a plane crashed off the shores of her homeland Diana, played by Gal Gadot (Fast & Furious franchise, Keeping up with the Jones), the princess of the Amazons discovered there was an evil force in the world wanting to do harm. She quickly realized what she had to do. With Chris Pine (Star Trek franchise, The Finest Hours) as Steve Trevor, Connie Nielsen (One Hour Photo, Gladiator) as Hippolyta and Danny Huston (Children of Men, The Aviator) as Ludendorff; the script to this story was well thought out. I learned about Diana before she became Wonder Woman. The humor, action, drama were beautifully blended for a thoroughly entertaining movie experience. The soundtrack even had a bit of a throwback acknowledgement to the TV show. While the special effects were fun, they had a comic book vibe which was enjoyable to me. Keep in mind my only exposure to this superhero previously was the actress Lynda Carter, where she would spin around to change into her Wonder Woman garb. This was a well done picture that came from a female’s sensibilities; in fact, I understand it earned the highest weekend opening for a film directed by a woman. If that is not enough to convince you to see this picture, I want you to also know everyone in the theater where I saw this film applauded at the end.
3 ½ stars
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