I DO NOT KNOW HOW IT happens, but I almost consider it a strange phenomenon that takes place between two people in a love relationship. Prior to forming their union, each of them was an independent adult with their own livelihood and own place to live. What takes place does not happen quickly but over time, where one of them takes on the identity of the other. In my experiences I have noticed more women doing it instead of men. I have been told that people in a long-term relationship start to look like each other, but I am not referring to this. What I have discovered is the wife or husband starts to lose the ability to have thoughts independent from their spouse. There is a woman I know who did this very exact thing. Prior to getting married she was not a prejudicial person or at least I thought not. She married a man who I knew had prejudices and in time she took on the same prejudices. Her speech changed where she started to quote her husband most of the time as a response to any conversation she was part of; it was the weirdest thing to me. It was as if her brain stopped functioning and she became a parrot, I am sad to say. THERE IS THAT SAYING ABOUT “OPPOSITES attract” and there is some truth to it. Personally, I believe a thriving relationship needs both similarities and diversity. I simply do not understand how a person relinquishes the things that are part of their make-up and live in the shadow of their partner. Think about the cliché “Behind every man is a strong woman.” This is true, but I wish to add it can also be reversed where the strong one is the man. I know a couple where the wife is in the forefront while the husband takes care of things in the background. Since I have a strong personality I have always been most comfortable with someone who is similar. I will never forget this one relationship I had to end because they started to take on my likes/dislikes and preferences; let me tell you it was freaky. All I am saying is I find it odd when this phenomenon or maybe I should say personality trait takes place with one person in a relationship. If you want to see a fascinating example, then feel free to watch this film festival nominated drama. HAVING SUPPORTED HER HUSBAND’S CAREER her whole life Joan Cattleman, played by Glenn Close (Fatal Attraction, Albert Nobbs), was on the verge of seeing his ultimate success, becoming a recipient of the Nobel Prize. The event would offer more than prize money to them. With Jonathan Pryce (Tomorrow Never Dies, Glengarry Glen Ross) as Joe Castleman, Christian Slater (True Romance, Mr. Robot-TV) as Nathaniel Bone, Max Irons (The Host, Woman in Gold) as David Castleman and Elizabeth McGovern (Once Upon a Time in America, Downton Abbey-TV) as Elaine Mozell; this movie’s strength was all due to the acting between Glenn and Jonathan. They were so good together that it made up for the porous script. I enjoyed the story but found some events taking place without much backstory. They were great for drama but almost seemed out of the blue. If it wasn’t for the acting I may have had a different experience watching this picture. Glenn had such penetrating screen presence there were times I felt I was feeling her smolder. Oh, and I will say I found the ending a bit too convenient. But despite my complaints I still stayed engaged all the way to the end of the story, even though I never had such an experience in my relationships.
Even when education is supposed to be free it may come with a price. I was fortunate to grow up in a place where every child was obligated to have access to free education. However, I did not realize my schooling would take a toll on me. Until my college days my school years were filled with a variety of land mines, some intended for me others just because I was the victim who happened to be in the right place at the wrong time. There were school days where I was that day’s target, where the usual bullies focused on making my life miserable. Being overweight at the time, I was an easy target for them. There were times I was smacked in the back of the head with a textbook or knocked down with a shove as I walked between classrooms; those were some of the mildest ones. I used to wonder why I was singled out but looking back now I know there were others who were going through their own misery. The few incidents where I thought I saw another student being abused, I could not figure out what we all had in common that would trigger such an attack. In the big picture the things that took place in my school years were traumatic for me and there were times I did not want to go to school. The majority of attacks took place in the school building; if I could last until the final bell and get out past the school grounds, I knew there would be a chance I would be a less likely target. This was not the case for this extraordinary teenager who was targeted for being a girl. PAKISTANI teenager Malala Yousafzai was a vocal advocate for girls’ education in a country where females were being denied the right. Her outspokenness was enough reason to be targeted for assassination by the Taliban. This film festival nominated documentary’s subject was bigger than the story. Malala is an incredible, articulate, passionate individual who would not let a bullet stop her. Directed by Davis Guggenheim (An Inconvenient Truth, Waiting for Superman), I wanted to learn more than I already knew about Malala, the youngest person to ever win a Nobel prize. Sadly this movie did not provide information in a cohesive way; places and times jumped around to the point where I felt I was only getting snippets of Malala’s life, without really getting any background story. The mix of animated scenes into the dialog was understandable since they tended to depict some of the more dangerous aspects of her life. As I said earlier, she truly was bigger than what this movie was capable of showing the viewer. It was because of Malala that I was able to stay engaged and interested in what was taking place on screen.
2 3/4 stars