I DO NOT KNOW HOW IT happens, but I almost consider it a strange phenomenon that takes place between two people in a love relationship. Prior to forming their union, each of them was an independent adult with their own livelihood and own place to live. What takes place does not happen quickly but over time, where one of them takes on the identity of the other. In my experiences I have noticed more women doing it instead of men. I have been told that people in a long-term relationship start to look like each other, but I am not referring to this. What I have discovered is the wife or husband starts to lose the ability to have thoughts independent from their spouse. There is a woman I know who did this very exact thing. Prior to getting married she was not a prejudicial person or at least I thought not. She married a man who I knew had prejudices and in time she took on the same prejudices. Her speech changed where she started to quote her husband most of the time as a response to any conversation she was part of; it was the weirdest thing to me. It was as if her brain stopped functioning and she became a parrot, I am sad to say. THERE IS THAT SAYING ABOUT “OPPOSITES attract” and there is some truth to it. Personally, I believe a thriving relationship needs both similarities and diversity. I simply do not understand how a person relinquishes the things that are part of their make-up and live in the shadow of their partner. Think about the cliché “Behind every man is a strong woman.” This is true, but I wish to add it can also be reversed where the strong one is the man. I know a couple where the wife is in the forefront while the husband takes care of things in the background. Since I have a strong personality I have always been most comfortable with someone who is similar. I will never forget this one relationship I had to end because they started to take on my likes/dislikes and preferences; let me tell you it was freaky. All I am saying is I find it odd when this phenomenon or maybe I should say personality trait takes place with one person in a relationship. If you want to see a fascinating example, then feel free to watch this film festival nominated drama. HAVING SUPPORTED HER HUSBAND’S CAREER her whole life Joan Cattleman, played by Glenn Close (Fatal Attraction, Albert Nobbs), was on the verge of seeing his ultimate success, becoming a recipient of the Nobel Prize. The event would offer more than prize money to them. With Jonathan Pryce (Tomorrow Never Dies, Glengarry Glen Ross) as Joe Castleman, Christian Slater (True Romance, Mr. Robot-TV) as Nathaniel Bone, Max Irons (The Host, Woman in Gold) as David Castleman and Elizabeth McGovern (Once Upon a Time in America, Downton Abbey-TV) as Elaine Mozell; this movie’s strength was all due to the acting between Glenn and Jonathan. They were so good together that it made up for the porous script. I enjoyed the story but found some events taking place without much backstory. They were great for drama but almost seemed out of the blue. If it wasn’t for the acting I may have had a different experience watching this picture. Glenn had such penetrating screen presence there were times I felt I was feeling her smolder. Oh, and I will say I found the ending a bit too convenient. But despite my complaints I still stayed engaged all the way to the end of the story, even though I never had such an experience in my relationships.
BEING A WITNESS TO an employer degrading an employee, yelling for all to hear, then immediately turn around and become this kind, solicitous salesperson for a consumer is enough to turn my stomach. The transformation seemed effortless, nothing like what I saw Dr. Jekyll go through to become Mr. Hyde from the movie. There are different labels like “two-faced, backstabbing and double-dealer” to describe a person who acts one way to one person then a different way to someone else. I worked at a company where the owner loved to be out in front with the shoppers. If you were able to hear him you would think he was the warmest, most helpful man you ever met. It was a façade because as soon as he returned to his office in the back he acted like he was king of the world; I am not exaggerating when I tell you he would have an employee from the warehouse clean his hairbrush. I know, it was totally disgusting and believe me he had the employees doing a lot more things for him. NOTHING HAS CHANGED SINCE I worked there many years ago. Presently what is going on in the world is no better with people in power harassing those with lesser power. I know I mentioned the historian and moralist Lord Acton before, but what he said is just as relevant now as it was in 1887: “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.” Maybe the last sentence is not as true today or maybe it is me with wishful thinking. Yet there have been so many instances where the head of some company or organization is the perfect figurehead for their place but in their personal life they are different or even opposite. Can you imagine the president of let us say a shelter for abused victims being caught abusing their spouse? Experiencing that sense of power tends to make a person feel infallible; it turns out that is not always the case. AS THE MUSEUM IS ABOUT to launch a new exhibit its chief art curator Christian’s, played by Claes Bang (The Bridge-TV, Rule No. 1), personal life begins to fall apart. This Oscar nominated and film festival winning comedic drama also starred Elizabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale-TV, The One I Love) as Anne, Dominic West (Chicago, The Forgotten) as Julian, Terry Notary (Planet of the Apes franchise, Kong: Skull Island) as Oleg and Christopher Laesso (The Bridge, Darkland) as Michael. The thing that impressed me about this film was the script; there were several themes taking place at the same time, yet they were not confusing. I will say however the script was too long; it needed some editing to bring down the running time of this DVD. There were also some scenes that I found foolish, where I felt they would not have happened like that in real life. It was interesting how the writers were able to incorporate some topical themes into the story, where I was still thinking about this movie for some time after. With the competent actors, interesting story and thought provoking scenes; I found this movie to be an interesting choice for Sweden to have submitted to the Oscar committee. English, Swedish and Danish were spoken in this picture with English subtitles.
3 stars — DVD
I was a witness to it though I did not know I was watching something significant taking place. Visiting a friend at her house, we were sitting and talking while her kids were playing on the floor. I was not aware something was brewing but her daughter got upset over her sibling grabbing a toy from out of her hands. The little girl slapped her brother and he began to cry. My friend verbally disciplined them, saying something I thought most parents would say to an unruly child; I did not pay much mind to it. But right after my friend said it she stopped cold, turned to me and said, “Oh no, I just turned into my mother!” My puzzled look was her cue to tell me what she just told her kids was the same line her mother used to say to her when she was young. Now I understood; she reached that point in time, whether she wanted to believe it or not, when she discovered she was turning into her mother. Haven’t many of us gone through the same thing? It does not have to be a verbal thing; it could be some particular action that you find yourself doing that one of your parents used to do. WHAT I find just as impactful if not more is the time when you first objectively see yourself in someone else. For me it happened at a birthday party for a friend. There was a guy there who must have been angry about something. We were sitting around playing a game and this person would get upset if someone on his team did not succeed in the task. His competiveness was not relatable to me but his expressed anger is what connected to me. I have to tell you it startled me when I realized I probably make the people in my life just as uncomfortable with the anger I carried inside of me. This happened years ago but wouldn’t you know it, there was something about the main character in this comedic drama that struck a chord in me. THOUGH no longer president of the association Ove, played by Rolf Lassgard (Under the Sun, The Hunters), made his daily rounds to make sure everything was in order. Trouble was all he saw when his new neighbor Parvaneh, played by Bahar Pars (When Darkness Falls, Dreams), and her family drove into his mailbox. This film festival winner is Sweden’s entry into the Best Foreign Film category at the 2017 Academy Awards. It totally deserves to be there because I thought the story and the acting were excellent. With Filip Berg (Eternal Summer, Deano and Nige’s Best Last Day Ever) as Ove som ung and Sofie Gallerspang (Monica Z, Innocent Mara-TV Movie) as Brud; I felt the writers did a beautiful job of intertwining the 2 story lines of past and present. The directing was a little heavy where one would almost feel they were being manipulated but Rolf was outstanding enough to make everything real in this picture. This was a well done picture now please excuse me as I go take a good look at myself in the mirror. Swedish and Persian was spoken with English subtitles.
3 ½ stars