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Flash Movie Review: Sinister 2
As every day fades away less and less people will be around that remember what it was like to watch family movies. It is not so dissimilar to the photographs we took with Kodachrome film. Those color pictures slowly leaked out their hues that diffused into thin air, leaving sepia ghosts on the paper until they turned into light silhouettes. Now with videos being made by such things as smart phones and computer tablets, most people have to huddle around the videographer’s outstretched hand like puppies coming to nurse at their mother. I am willing to bet they do not know what it is like to get settled into a family room with all your relatives around you. On the far side there stood a 3-legged white screen with an 8mm film projector pointing at it from the opposite side of the room. As someone turns off the light, the film operator starts up the projector; you hear the rapid tat, tat, tat sound repeating itself as the reels of film spin around. It does not matter if the lighting is poor or the images are a bit out of focus because half the fun is hearing the running commentary from all the relatives seated around the room. There was nothing like seeing younger versions of everyone either dancing, mugging or eating on that white screen. I can still remember sitting on the floor with my cousins as we watched our aunts and uncles celebrating at some event, dressed in what we thought were some goofy looking clothing. One of the best parts of looking at these old movies was seeing deceased relatives who you had only heard about and now can see them “live” so to speak. I cannot say the same thing for the family in this horror movie. AFTER moving into a rural home where a murder had taken place, the Collins family had something else that scared them. The first thing I have to tell you is I could not figure out if I was watching a prequel or sequel. Having sat through the first one, I had same faint memories that I was trying to plug in to what I was seeing in this picture. Starring Shannyn Sossamon (A Knight’s Tale, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) as Courtney Collins and Lea Coco (J. Edgar, Dorian Blues) as Clint Collins, I wished the writers would have done more with their story. The reason being the rest of the movie was boring with nothing scary about it. With my confusion and the lack of suspense, I have to say this was a real waste of time in my opinion. The script was so bare bones, that it felt like it was still in workshop when the studio decided they wanted to jump on it and bring it to the big screen. All I can say is I was grateful there were no extra scenes after the credits.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Fantastic Four
One of the quickest ways to bond with another human being is to share an event together. Whether it is an occurrence filled with celebration or tragedy, there is something about being a part of the same occasion that cuts through the preliminary chitchat and creates a quicker path to friendship or possibly something more. One of the first health clubs that hired me to teach aerobics had an all female staff. I always assumed I was hired because of my teaching skills and style, hoping that I did not get the job because I was a novelty. It was a year later when another man was hired on staff. The two of us quickly bonded, sitting near each other during staff meetings and traveling together to fitness conventions. Now do not get me wrong, this was in no shape a battle of the sexes type of thing or a testosterone competition; we just happened to have a similar mindset towards teaching, with the same type of humor. And do you want to know something; we have remained friends all these years. I could share other examples of how people bond but the events may cause you to become sad and I would rather we all try to stay upbeat with tonight’s movie review of this science fiction, action adventure film. TELEPORTED to a distant world, the four space travelers returned to earth changed in unusual ways. They would have to learn to work together to overcome their differences if they wanted to save the world from an evil force. Having gone to this viewing with no prior knowledge of the film, my shock and confusion about what I was watching was a surprise to me. With competent actors Miles Teller (Whiplash, That Awkward Moment) as Reed Richards, Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station, That Awkward Moment) as Johnny Storm, Kate Mara (127 Hours, Shooter) as Sue Storm and Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot, King Kong) as Ben Grimm, I was stunned at how poorly they came across on the big screen. The reason started with the script and anyone else involved with this film who was not familiar with what it took to make a superhero movie. The first half of the fim was utterly boring; with no action, no humor or fun surprises. I could not remember a recent time where an entire cast looked like they were sleepwalking through the picture. As for the evil aspect to the story, it was simply dull and did not provide any thrills. The fact that there was no extra scene at the end of the credits spoke volumes about how poorly managed this project was from beginning to end. On the plus side a group of us stopped in the theater lobby after the movie to talk about our similar negative reactions to this super dud.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Vacation
When I used to hear the word vacation I knew that meant we were taking a road trip. My preparation consisted of getting the latest comic books, magazines, along with plenty of snacks; what clothes to bring was less important to me. With the entire back seat of the car as my living space throughout the trip, I could stretch out and nap when there was nothing interesting to see out the car windows. I not only have hundreds of fond memories from those road trips, but I can recall all the not so nice things that I experienced going across the country. For example there was the trip we took to Florida where the driver was the son of family friends. He wanted to take the shortest amount of time to get to our destination so bathroom breaks were scheduled based on time not need. There was one long stretch where I started to cry because I had to use the bathroom so badly. There was another trip where we planned to stop overnight so we could rest up and arrive for lunch the next day at our destination. Unfortunately the motel we had reservations at had mice and cockroaches leading us down the hallway towards our room. We did not even bother making it to our room before turning around and leaving that place. Oh and I cannot forget the motel room that had a bathroom that looked like a crime scene. Vacations should not have to be hard; someone needed to tell the family in this adventure comedy. HOPING to give his family the same fond memories he experienced when he was a kid Rusty Griswold, played by Ed Helms (The Hangover franchise, Cedar Rapids), decided he was going to take the family on a vacation to Walley World. There certainly was going to be a lot of memories made from this road trip. This story was not a sequel or reboot; what it did was take the character of Rusty from the original film and have him be an adult with a family of his own. Christina Applegate (Hall Pass, Anchorman franchise) played Rusty’s wife Debbie. Five minutes into the picture and I was immediately turned off by the story. Essentially the writers tried to make jokes out of the younger son bullying his older brother and I found it offensive. This went on for over half of the film and I did not find it funny at all. The rest of the jokes consisted of crude bathroom humor and dull sight gags. The only plus in this movie was Leslie Mann (The Other Woman, This is 40) and Chris Hemsworth (The Avengers franchise, Rush) as Audrey and Stone Crandall. If I had known I would have put in a 60 hour work week instead of taking time to go see this boring film.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Entourage
As the totals rise in one’s bank account, the chances of arrogance and entitlement increase as well. Now I am not saying this applies to everyone who saves money or becomes wealthy; but I have come across many, shall we say, well-off individuals who feel they are better than other people, who pontificate and brag to anyone who will listen to them because they have money. There is nothing I find more irritating than someone unsolicitedly telling me what I should be doing. I knew this person who came into a lot of money. The change in them was amazing as they went from this friendly unpretentious person to a big blowhard. They would always be flashing their money around; taking small groups of people out to dinner, to bars and stores so they always had a willing audience around them. I got a real taste of them at a party which we both happened to be attending and let me tell you, it was not pretty. I came across them right in the middle of a heated discussion with someone about some type of profession. It was startling how this braggart would utter offensive statements, discarding the other person’s opinion on the subject. There is one thing I always say: no person has control over another person, nor can they tell you how you should feel. THINGS have changed for the group of friends from the hit television series. Ari Gold, played by Jeremy Piven (Old School, Serendipity), was now the head of a movie studio that was funding a picture for his actor friend Vince, played by Adrian Grenier (The Devil Wears Prada, Drive Me Crazy), who was directing and starring in it. Over budget with producers complaining, everyone’s reputation was at stake; this film needed to be a huge success. I have never seen the series. This was my first time seeing Ari and Vince along with Eric, Turtle and Johnny Drama; played by Kevin Connolly (The Notebook, Antwone Fisher), Jerry Ferrara (Think Like a Man, Lone Survivor) and Kevin Dillon (Platoon, The Doors). This comedy as far as I was concerned was barely funny. I thought the script was such a mess; except for the cars, I would have thought this story took place in the 1980s because of the women’s roles and excessiveness shown throughout the film. Most of the female actresses were relegated to minor characters. With a variety of cameo appearances and the over the top acting; I felt everyone was trying so hard to make this story relevant. I was bored throughout most of the film and am still not sure if there was supposed to be some point to this movie. Sitting through this was like being lectured by a pompous jerk.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Hot Pursuit
Everyone was having a good time as things continued to go smoothly at the reception. The top reason for this was due to the main attraction, the bride and groom. They were each outgoing individuals that were able to create memorable times no matter the situation. Now as a couple their chemistry only accentuated their fun qualities. All the guests were mingling and chatting during the cocktail hour, telling each other memories they had shared with the bride and/or groom. Dinner was announced as the large padded doors along one wall were folded back, revealing a room glowing in a soft palette of white, burgundy and gold colors. There was an orchestra playing music as the guests headed to their seats. After everyone was seated the orchestra leader announced the newly married couple as they entered in to the sound of cheers and applause from family and friends. Once they were seated the first toasts of the evening were given by each of the parents. They shared personal fun stories about their children, giving the crowd a good laugh. The next toast came from the best man who was the groom’s best friend. Since they had known each other since 1st grade, there were intimate tales the best man felt for some reason were okay to tell the crowd. One embarrassing story led to another with a running joke that was only cute the first time. The lukewarm reaction to the joke did not stop the best man; his speech dragged out to a point where the crowd was dulled into boredom. JUST like the best man overstayed his welcome, so did the main characters in this action comedy. Reese Witherspoon (Wild, Walk the Line) played uptight police officer Cooper who was assigned to protect Daniella Riva, played by Sofia Vergara (Chef, Modern Family-TV), the wife of a drug lord. Cooper’s training did not prepare her for Daniella and all the bad guys after her. I was surprised by this movie’s story. Sure there was humor to mine when the two main characters were total opposites of each other; however, the writers did nothing new with them. The running joke about Daniella’s accent and not being understood got old very fast. I found Reese’s character, which was the blander of the two, annoying after a short time. As the movie went on it dawned on me that it was similar to the film, The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. The difference being this was a very poor version of it. I read afterwards that Reece and her production company want to bring out strong women driven films which I am all for; but if this was an example of what is in store for the movie audience, I think it will push back the limited gains that have been made already.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Freetown
Only a friend has the right to tell another friend they are being dumb. If someone else tries to do it they will be met with a strong reaction. This is part of what it means to be friends. I will come to the defense of any friend who is being attacked. In one of my college science classes I became friends with my lab partner and we would hang out with other students in the class. After a couple of get togethers socially I noticed one of the students tended to act differently towards my lab partner compared to the other people. It started out in subtle ways with things like answering my partner’s questions with short answers and making little eye contact with them. At some point my friend and I talked about it, wondering if anyone else in the group had noticed it. You may recall I believe there are no accidents; so, when an opportunity came up where I bumped into this other student at the campus library, I brought up my observations to them. It turned out they did not like my lab partner because he was of a similar heritage as a robber who had shot his uncle dead a couple of years ago back home. I asked him if he realized my friend had nothing to do with his tragic loss, while inside my head the word “prejudice” was flashing. Instead of looking up information for our class assignment the two of us sat in a small alcove of the library and discussed the situation. I understood where he was coming from, but I was determined to show and explain the limitations he was laying down for his life, besides having a frank talk about the dangers of being prejudiced based on the looks of a person. THEIR country being torn apart by civil unrest, several Liberian missionaries must trek across and out of the country in order to protect one of their members. Based on true events this dramatic thriller had a story line I could relate to: protecting a friend. I only wished a friend would have protected me from this amateurish film. With a cast of newcomers and a script that lacked any excitement or emotional depth, I was painfully bored throughout this movie. I cannot say with certainty but I believe this is another of these faith based films that the movie studio feels all they need is religion to sell it. This is not the case; people want to see something good that is done well. For a time frame filled with such horror and violence being done against its people, this picture was a flatliner. Please excuse me now, I have to go warn my friends about this film.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Do You Believe?
As I walk through the glass doors I am immediately aware my movements throughout the store are being tracked. It is okay, I really do not mind. I have my list and know where I can find each item. Though I am quick to get through the store, I do pause whenever I see a new product on the shelves or displayed at the end caps. You see I am a marketer’s dream consumer; I enjoy trying out new products. Sometimes when I am navigating through the store I feel like I am on a treasure hunt, searching for new discoveries in the food kingdom. I like trying new items if they fit into my food requirements. If I find something that I think is delicious, I immediately want to share it with other people; that is if I do not devour all of it on a weekend. Naw, I will go buy another package to share. However, I understand that things I think taste good someone else may think are horrible. I do not have a problem with that because it is nothing I take personally; we each like and dislike different things. Regarding my movie reviews you may notice I rarely will tell you what you should or should not do. I only let you know what affect the film had on me. There is no ulterior motive on my part and I take offense when a movie is made with an agenda like this one. FROM different backgrounds and places in their lives, a group of strangers each discover the same revelation on their own. Before reviewing this faith based picture I want to reiterate I am not commenting nor want to get into a discussion about religion; I consider that subject to be personal. As a story this dramatic film was completely predictable. It felt as if the writers took snippets from various television shows and pieced them together to make their story. I do not know if it was all the script’s fault or the actors were not on their “A” game but I found nothing good to say about any of them. Part of the cast included Mira Sorvino (The Replacement Killers, Mimic) as Samantha, Cybil Shepherd (The Last Picture Show, Moonlighting-TV) with no name, Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man-TV, The Big Valley-TV) with no name and Sean Astin (The Lord of the Rings franchise, The Goonies) as Dr. Farell. The story was hokey to me and it was obvious this film was made for a select audience. I was offended on some levels, especially due to the stereotyping of thugs being Black and the single pregnant female being ethnic, possibly Hispanic. This was a waste of my time, not for my tastes.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Lazarus Effect
I have found a majority of noises eventually turn into white noise, background sounds as the mind tunes them out. One sound that never stops being heard is the sound of a loving heart. Hearing it brings such a comfort like a warm, cozy, fuzzy blanket on a crisp winter day. To be in a loving relationship is a major accomplishment in one’s life as far as I am concerned. Finding that one special person who accepts all of you, is supportive and kind, who helps you fill out your dreams and provides nourishment that keeps you glowing is a remarkable achievement. As the two of you grow old together the relationship continues to evolve, taking in account any new dreams or hopes; the underlying strength of your bond will always be there to support whoever trips while walking the path of your lives. All of this is wonderful but I have seen how devastating it becomes when death takes one of the two. I knew someone who could not accept the death of their loved one, going to their grave every single day, seven days a week. She stopped living as she surrounded herself with the memories death left behind. One of the hardest parts I have found is altering the daily routines the two of you had shared. STRUCK with immense grief seeing Zoe, played by Olivia Wilde (In Time, Rush), lying on the floor dead from a horrible accident; Frank, played by Mark Duplass (The One I Love, Safety Not Guaranteed), would not let her go. He was willing to take a chance on using her for his scientific experiment that had not been tested yet on humans. Not knowing what would happen, all Frank wanted was to bring back Zoe. The concept for this story was not new; there have been various movies that dealt with bringing someone back from the dead. I thought it would be interesting to use love for the main character’s motivation. The cast worked well together which also included Evan Peters (American Horror Story-TV, X-Men: Days of Future Past) as Clay and Sarah Bolger (In America, The Spiderwick Chronicles) as Eva. Unfortunately the only horror about this film was sitting and watching it. I was completely bored due to the poorly written script, the lack of anything original and the utter absence of suspense. For being classified as a thriller and horror movie, neither took place. The ending was written in such a way that there could be a sequel which would be a very scary thing. I cannot imagine anyone sitting through this picture and finding something they could relate to, let alone being entertained. The heart of this film needs a “do not resuscitate” order placed on it. There were scenes that had blood in them.
1 1/2 stars
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