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Flash Movie Review: Warcraft
Before I tell you my vivid memory about tasting chocolate for the first time, keep in mind I remember standing up in my crib and figuring out how I could climb out of it. That is as far back as some of my memories go. The chocolate was in the form of a baked cake in a 9X9 metal pan. From my very first bite I was hooked; with a spongy texture and no frosting on top, this first tasting started an avalanche of chocolate items coming into the house. Because I could not reach anything but the lowest shelf in the pantry, I could not reach any of the products like chocolate chip cookies or chocolate syrup that were kept on the higher shelves, without asking someone to get them for me. At the time I was around 1 ½ to 2 years old. Some may call it an obsession, I call it personal preference; but from that time whenever I am given the option I will always choose the one that has chocolate in it. I do not think I am unusual in this regards; don’t most of us gravitate towards things that give us pleasure or make us feel good? Example, one of my favorite musicals is Les Miserables. After seeing it for the first time, I had to own the soundtrack; then when the movie came out I had to own a copy of the DVD. Though different venues may not always work I enjoy when one of my favorite pastimes expands into another format; this is one of the reasons I want to travel to the Harry Potter theme park one day. So you see I can totally understand those who are into video games flocking to see this movie version of the popular game. DESPERATE to leave their dying planet and find a new place to colonize, the Orc invade the peaceful realm of Azeroth. Losing the conflict meant one side’s total destruction or the other’s extinction. Starring Travis Fimmel (The Experiment, Vikings-TV) as Anduin Lothar, Paula Patton (Deja Vu, 2 Guns) as Garona, Ben Foster (Lone Survivor, 3:10 to Yuma) as Medivh and Toby Kebbell (Wrath of the Titans, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) as Durotan/Antonidas; I cannot really say the acting was good or bad because the script presented all of them as 2 dimensional characters. This action adventure’s forte was the special effects. I think everything was CGI; my favorite look was the flying bird like creature. For a fantasy I thought the story was good; it made for perfect escapism. However, after the continuation of similar scenes I felt this film went on for far too long. From the trailer this movie looks like it would be fun and I guess on some level it was, but not enough to keep me thoroughly engaged with the story. And sadly it is obvious by the ending the movie studio is hoping to do a sequel. If that is the case may I suggest they bring in some drama, surprise and better dialog to bring in more than just gamers.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Exposed
“Use it or lose it” is one of my favorite things to say to people. In my fitness classes the members have been listening to me say this for years. If we stop working on ourselves how will we continue to move and grow, both physically and mentally? From my experiences I know some individuals have an easier time training their body instead of their mind and visa versa. I actually find it is easier to train my body, which is why I work extra hard on using my mind. To me the mind is like any other muscle in the body and it needs to be stimulated so it can continue to thrive and expand. Without going into too much detail my mind was tested at a very young age; you could say trial by fire. Growing up and being overweight, I heard the “F” word a lot to describe my size. I do not remember when it actually started to work but there came a point where I stopped listening to the taunts. Yes, I still would hear it but my mind would not register it. This explains why today I am skilled in being able to shut out different noises and sounds. Where a co-worker may get distracted with an annoying repetitive sound coming out from the warehouse, my mind only hears white noise, if even that. This ability is not limited to just sounds; if the mind is strong enough it can shield a person from certain parts of reality. It has served me well. I see I am not the only one now that I have seen this dramatic movie. WHEN his partner was found dead Detective Galban, played by Keanu Reeves (John Wick, The Matrix franchise), was determined to find the killer. With the trail of clues not adding up and no one claiming to have seen anything, Detective Galban was positive there had to be someone out in the city who could provide him with the answers. This film which also had Mira Sorvino (The Replacement Killers, Mimic) as Janine Cullen and Ana de Armas (Sex, Party and Lies; The Boarding School-TV) as Isabel de la Cruz had a film noir flavor to it at first. I thought Ana was a compelling actress and found her role the most interesting. In a short amount of time the story broke down and became a jumble of sub-stories. From its film noir look it started to become a surreal fantasy type of story before trying to be more like a true detective story. I kept waiting for something to happen as the script randomly offered these little pieces of information that were not tying up the scenes; I started to wonder what was the point the writers were trying to convey to the viewers. Also, I have to say Keanu was more stiff than usual in this role. One could blame it all on the editing, the writing, the direction or all of the above; it does not matter. As I type the last word to my review I will forget about this discombobulated piece of work.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Choice
I do not think the layout of a store is necessarily an engineering feat, more like a psychological one in my opinion. Think about the ease consumers have these days; no matter where one may be, they can walk into the same brand of store and immediately know which aisles they need to stop in. Sure some stores may have slight differences in decorations or signage, but I am sure there is a reason why the stores are laid out in a particular way. I assume you have heard the term “mindless eating?” It is when one is not giving any thought to what they are putting in their mouth; an example would be those huge buckets of popcorn one sits with in the movie theater. Being so engrossed into the film hopefully, one doesn’t pay attention to the amount of popcorn they have eaten. Well the same thing can be said for “mindless shopping.” The way the store gets laid out, the end of the aisles known as “end caps” has either visual significance or price leaders to entice shoppers to stop and pickup the product. Now throughout the store the owners place sale items like small oases to get the consumer to travel from one side of the building to the other. When I go to the grocery store I do not have to think about what I want; I always go with a shopping list and because I am so familiar with the layout, I can quickly make my way through without much thought. It really is a simple process that does not need much effort on my part. I can say it was the same way watching this latest Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook, A Walk to Remember) movie. TRAVIS, played by Benjamin Walker (In the Heart of the Sea, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter), tried all of his pickup lines on the new neighbor Gabby, played by Teresa Palmer (Warm Bodies, I am Number Four), but she was having none of it. As far as she was concerned he was a jerk. I really do not think I have to say anything else because those of you who are at all familiar with a Nicholas Sparks movie will already know the outcome. This dramatic romance followed the same formula as his previous films. In fact, I felt this one was one of the worst. The story followed the same, shall we say, outline to each of his films: the main characters either dislike each other or have issues; there is a hospital scene or tragic event, understanding parents and a tearjerker scene. Regarding this film I felt there was no chemistry between Benjamin and Teresa. The only acting worth mentioning was by Tom Wilkinson (Belle, Michael Clayton) as Shep. If you have never read or seen a Nicholas Sparks story or want a good cry then you may be interested in this movie. The rest of you would be better off skipping this film and go do some mindless shopping.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The 5th Wave
The discovery shocks your system and obliterates the minutia floating in your mind. You only have one focus and that is to find the thing you lost. It is such a horrible feeling when you lose something, I know. I stopped to pick up my paycheck at one health club that was on the way to my cycle class. Parking in their lot I locked the door of my car with the remote lock on my keychain then stuffed the keys in my coat pocket. I ran into the club, stopped at the front desk to say hello, got my check and went back outside. This was all in a matter of minutes. As I was walking towards my car I started to fish my car keys out from my pocket, but there was nothing there. This did not immediately register in my brain because I knew I had put my keys in my coat pocket. I took off my glove and tried again but the pocket was empty. Now my brain fired up with these thoughts: where were my car keys, I had to get to class, my workout clothes were locked in the car, and how I would get the car door open. I retraced every step with my head hung over as I continuously scanned the ground for my keys. Just before I had to turn into the front doors I saw an indentation in the snow. At first glance I thought someone did not pick up after their pet since it was dark against the white snow, enough said. Looking closer it was my keys; they must have fallen out as I was running into the club and I did not hear them drop in the snow. Because of the adrenaline rush by the time I walked into my class I was already exhausted. I do not know how the main character kept going in this science fiction action film. WITH the earth experiencing 4 waves of alien induced calamities Cassie Sullivan, played by Chloe Grace Moretz (The Equalizer, Hugo), had only one thing to do and that was to find her brother Sam, played by Zackary Arthur (Transparent-TV). This adventure film was lucky to have Chloe star in it. Also, it was good to have Liev Schreiber (Spotlight, Pawn Sacrifice) play Colonel Vosch. That is all I can say about this dull movie. I sat through most of it trying to figure out which scenes reminded me of previous movies; this was a boring experience. The special effects were nothing special as was the story. Maybe the idea was good but the writers did nothing to distinguish themselves from the previous YA movies of the same genre. Even after reading this you still want to see this picture you better hurry because I believe it will be quickly lost in the mix and I personally would not be upset.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip
I always know what to expect whenever I stop at one of these places. The only time I go to one is when I am out of town on vacation. You see when I am exploring a new area I do not want to spend time sitting down at a restaurant, waiting for someone to take my order and then having to wait further for my food to come to my table. This is why I will quickly grab something at a fast food establishment. I save eating at a local restaurant for dinner time. The only time I partake in fast food is when I am traveling out of state. If I have planned my day full of activities and sightseeing, I do not want to spend a lot of time taking in food. To me food is just fuel to continue my pace for the afternoon. The reason I eat fast food is because no matter where I am the meal is reliable; there are no surprises, nor do I have to think about how my body is going to react to something foreign. However, based on recent news there are reasons to worry about certain foods we eat these days. The meal is quick and adequate; I do not have to devote any thought to it, just consume and get out of the place. I know actually what to expect whenever I venture into such restaurants. I see my logic can be applied to other areas of interest, such as movie franchises. AFRAID Dave, played by Jason Lee (Chasing Amy, My Name is Earl-TV), was going to leave them once he proposed to Samantha, played by Kimberly Williams (Father of the Bride franchise, We are Marshall), Alvin and his brothers decided to follow Dave to Miami to stop the proposal. From the very beginning of this film I knew what to expect from the story. There was going to be the same type of humor, similar big song and dance numbers and an antagonist; in this case it was Tony Hale (Stranger Than Fiction, The Heat) as Agent Suggs. With the addition of Josh Green (Fair Haven, The Girl in the Book) as Miles, the story was set and off went the chipmunks. There was essentially nothing new to this latest installment of the franchise. Little children should still enjoy it though there were a couple of scenes that may not be appropriate for them. Except for one good dance number I was bored through a majority of this picture. I found it pretty predictable for the most part, besides the repetitive use of some sight gags. It seems to me this franchise is just following the same formula setup from the past films; there was nothing new or different. As long as the viewer knows what to expect once they get into the theater, I guess this movie serves some kind of a purpose.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Letters
How enriched does one’s life become when they are the recipient of an act of kindness. Through the centuries there have been extraordinary people who have given more to others than themselves. Present day there are moments where a kind gesture can change the entire day if not just our mood. I have one individual who remains vivid in my memory as an incredibly kind person; it was a former teacher of mine. After going through a long span of difficult times in school, I was desperate to find someone to talk to about a small group of predatory students. This particular teacher was the most approachable out of my instructors. I still remember the look on her face when I finally overcame my embarrassment and told her what was happening to me. She became a mixture of mortified anger and immediately took me to one of the vice principals of the school. Once there she took over and explained my situation, demanding action against the students. I was terrified that all of this would come back to bite me, that the students would seek vengeance. When the vice principal questioned me further, I had to express my concerns. They both assured me there would be no retaliation from the group of students; I was not convinced. The next school day did indeed turn out to be a better day. The teacher made sure she was outside of the classroom before and after class every day to watch me as I walked down the hallway. To me, her act of kindness was saintly. THROUGH her life Mother Teresa, played by Juliet Stevenson (Bend it Like Beckham, Mona Lisa Smile), kept correspondence with her spiritual advisor Celeste van Exem, played by Max von Sydow (Robin Hood, Shutter Island). Her letters were the basis for this film festival winning drama. There is no denying Mother Teresa was a very special human being; there have been many stories and reports about her life which included winning the Nobel Prize for Peace. Not as familiar with her early years, I was interested with the beginning of this film. The script went back and forth between Celeste and Benjamin Praagh, played by Rutger Hauer (Blade Runner, The Reverend), discussing Mother Teresa in the past tense to actually seeing scenes of her life in chronological order. Unfortunately the script did a big disservice; it was void of emotion and details. I never got a sense of Mother Teresa’s motivation or even her thoughts; this was a poorly written story. The picture was for the most part bland; nothing stood out whether it was the acting (which in some scenes was almost comical) or the directing. It played more like a mediocre television movie. Actually, what the studio created here is one of those painted felt pictures of a religious figure that you would see being sold on the side of the road. Mother Teresa deserved so much more than this picture.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Last Witch Hunter
Except when it concerns weight, most instances of loss more times than not are associated with sadness. Even from a scarf to a pair of sunglasses, I have never heard someone say they were happy about losing them. Sadness can be overwhelming when it comes to the loss of a loved one. And if the death was sudden like a heart attack, the survivors can experience shock along with the sad feelings flooding over them. Though I would never say anything, I never understood when someone would say, “We lost her/him today.” I have always wondered if people were just uncomfortable saying the word “died,” maybe because it sounds so final or abrupt as compared to passing away or gone. Now there is another aspect of loss that I think must be harder to deal with and that is when the death is unexpected. Maybe due to an accident or killing, I can only imagine how awful it must feel. There were a couple of different people I knew who had experienced such a tragedy and it was heartbreaking. Though I will say when it comes to this form of death I can understand why a person would have a vein of anger and revenge mixed in with their unhappiness. Hopefully I will never have to experience such a horrible thing in my life. I would rather be exposed to this type of event as an observer while watching a movie. Or at least I thought so until I saw this fantasy adventure. CURSED by a witch with immortal life Kaulder, played by Vin Diesel (Fast & Furious franchise, The Pacifier), would spend his life throughout the centuries protecting the world from such wretched witches. This action film was all about the CGI effects. There were a couple of scenes that were actually good. I thought the idea behind the story was decent; however the script was as dull as an old rusty nail. With Elijah Wood (The Lord of the Rings franchise, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) as Dolan 37th, Michael Caine (Harry Brown, Inception) as Dolan 36th and Rose Leslie (Game of Thrones-TV, Downton Abbey-TV) as Chloe; the actors had nothing to work with to try and make this film at least somewhat exciting. As for Vin, with his limited acting range, this role did not suit him at all. With his monotone speech, I found him boring. Maybe part of the issue was the direction the actors were getting because I did not care for the way scenes jumped back and forth in time; it made for a frenzied viewing experience. I will say I did not mind Rose Leslie’s character and wished there were more scenes with Michael; though even his character seemed like one I have seen him play before. This is one film I would not be sad if the movie studio lost.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Vatican Tapes
I suppose it depends on one’s definition of evil whether they see evil taking place around them on a regular basis. Just yesterday I read an article in the newspaper about someone putting 12 kittens in a duffel bag and leaving them out on the street in 85 degree heat. Maybe you would not consider this an evil act, but I do. The person who did this could easily have brought the kittens to a shelter. Luckily all the kittens, except for being dehydrated, were okay and are being listed on animal welfare’s adoption list. When I hear news about a hit and run driver the first thing I think about is whether the driver was drunk. If not (though it still is not an excuse) then I do not understand how a person who knows they hit someone can continue driving without stopping to check on the damage they caused to that person. I would say the driver was an evil individual. Since I refer to myself as a defensive pessimist, my first inclination is to focus on the negative aspects of a situation; so someone could call me Mr. Doom and Gloom. But I do not know if that is an accurate description of me. I see evil things all around me, but I do not let them dictate my actions. Hopefully I do not devote my energy to such things; instead I remove myself from people who act out in evil ways. Granted that is something that is not easy to do as you will see in this horror film. SOMETHING was happening to the people around Angela Holmes, played by Olivia Dudley (Transcendence, Chernobyl Diaries). Father Lozano and Vicar Imani, played by Michael Pena (Ant-Man, American Hustle) and Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond, Guardians of the Galaxy), were one of the first to recognize what was happening to Angela. This thriller followed a standard formula for a horror story. I was actually surprised to see Michael and Djimon in this movie because the film really was a “B” maybe “C” type of movie. I could see the actors trying to do something with the low level script but there really was nothing they could do that would have made this picture exciting. Now there were a couple of scenes that had potential, especially because of the way Olivia played her character. She was able to show a different side of herself simply with a subtle change in her facial expressions; it provided a slightly eerie take on the scenes. However due to this type of good vs evil story being done many times before, there was not enough done here to make this film entertaining. Though I consider this movie as being not very good, I think it would be evil if the movie studio decided to make a sequel.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Pixels
Immediately I was struck by their fearlessness. I watched while their fingers without hesitation popped and dropped over the keyboard like convulsing spider legs. Just by pressing two keys at the same time they were able to get the computer to function in a way that took me a few more keystrokes. I knew they must have started at a young age playing video games. There is a certain attitude a gamer has when they are interacting with their computer or some other kind of electronic device; they appear more adventuresome to me. Where they have no problem trying out different commands, a non-gamer may get stuck at their computer afraid the next key they press will cause their machine to explode. I understand totally because I have a love/hate relationship with computers; I expect them to know how to fix themselves without asking me if something is okay to do. It is interesting to think about the recent generations that grew up with video games; I recall an article I read that talked about the positive effect the games had on a person’s eye/hand coordination. There was this one kid in school who would spend hours in the student union playing this one arcade game. His initials for the most points earned remained on the machine the entire time I was at that school. I would be quite curious to see what he is doing now in the world. Maybe he would be doing what the gamers were called to do in this comedic action film. BACK in 1982 a time capsule with examples of mankind’s life including video games was launched into space. Discovered by an alien race, they took the games to be earth’s declaration of war on them; so they reproduced the video games to attack earth first. This science fiction film had a great idea behind it, for it would attract an older audience for nostalgic reasons and a younger crowd who would appreciate the retro vibe of these “ancient” games. Not only did this comedy fail with its attempts to entertain, it made me a bit angry because of the blatant laziness associated with the script. Adam Sandler (Blended, Grown Ups franchise) as Brenner was the exact same character he has been in his last several films. I am tired of seeing the same thing and hearing the same type of jokes over and over. Adding in Kevin James (Here Comes the Boom, Paul Blart franchise) as President Cooper and Michelle Monaghan (Gone Baby Gone, Source Code) as Violet only increased the ridiculousness of this picture. Out of the entire script I chuckled 3 times as the expected excitement never materialized. If I would have known, my money would have been better spent at a video arcade then sit through this video void.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Gallows
Legend had it that one of the students who had worked on the auditorium’s fire curtain still haunted the theater. The story I heard was when the fire curtain was installed the students from the school’s art department were allowed to decorate the drab black colored curtain. As they were working on it something went wrong and the curtain came crashing down and crushed a boy to death. Ever since that time there had been unexplained things that took place around the theater, like lights turning on by themselves or hanging counterweights swinging back and forth in the still air. Every freshman in the school knew about this story by the time they first walked into the school building if not before. I have no idea how some of these stories started. During my time at the school, I never heard about odd events taking place. In fact, the only story that went around one year was about a teacher who had a prosthetic arm. She would always wear long sleeved blouses or jackets along with a white glove covering up the hand portion. Mean spirited students or one who may have failed her class, I am guessing, started telling a story about how her arm was attacked by a couple of birds who had flown through the open window of her classroom. The story evolved into the birds being a flock of woodpeckers who zeroed in on her wooden arm, trying to make a nesting place in it as she wildly swung her fake arm around her head. I am sure every school has a story; just look at this one. TWENTY years after a tragic accident took place during a staged performance; the theater department thought it was time to re-stage that fateful production. Not all ideas are good; maybe some things should be left alone. This horror suspense thriller used the found footage format as the story followed actors and friends Reese, Pfeifer, Ryan and Cassidy; played by relative newcomers Reese Mishler and Pfeifer Brown, Ryan Shoos (As Night Comes) and Cassidy Gifford (Adventures of Serial Buddies, God’s Not Dead). Not only was this a low budget production but it was somewhat of a lame idea for a story. I say this because I cannot imagine any school agreeing to relaunch a play that had such a tragic event take place during it. The script was filled with every horror film cliche, besides not being at all sophisticated since it was so predictable. On the plus side there were no gory or bloody scenes, the writers tried using suspense as the main vehicle to drive this picture. Too bad it failed for I could tell you stories about my high school experiences that were a lot scarier than this movie.
1 2/3 stars
moviejoltz 