IF I DO NOT KNOW AT LEAST several guests at a social function, I feel like I am walking into uncharted territory filled with landmines. It is best to keep one’s guard up when attending such affairs, I have found. The reason I feel this way did not suddenly happen after attending one party; it took my going to several parties and experiencing the full force of passive aggressive guests before I came to this conclusion. Please hear me out before you reach a conclusion. When I do not know people at a party, I tend to be more reserved. I will circulate through the guests before I find a spot that I can claim for myself. As the evening progresses I will either strike up a conversation or a guest will come up to me. During our conversation, the person I am talking to will make an offhanded comment about another guest they tell me they know, maybe about something they are wearing or their physical features. I have learned when someone is expressing a negative comment about someone who is a stranger to you, they are trying to lay some type of groundwork to win you over to their “side.” Do not ask me why this happens but some people feel the need to win over total strangers as some kind of support while they are holding a grudge or feud with the individual. Maybe it is something about “strength in numbers;” I just don’t know. IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS THESE encounters at parties are not a big deal to me because more than likely I will never see these individuals again. However, it is a whole different ballgame when situations like this take place at one’s new place of business. Yuck, it is challenging to walk into a work environment where employees have chosen sides and you are the new neutral country in the middle of their war. The more vigilant employees will use every opportunity to tear down the employee they do not like, by making little comments to you about them. I used to sit next to someone at a job where every day I would have to listen to them make a snide remark about a fellow employee’s work or hygiene or mannerisms or some other such thing; it was exhausting for me. I had no opinion one way or the other; so, my defense was to simply respond with one-word exclamations, like “oh” or “really.” My philosophy was to let their talking go in one ear and out the other; I would form my own opinions. This is something I was trying to do while listening to all the hotel guests in this dramatic, crime mystery. HIRED TO FIND OUT HOW A millionaire received a fake jewel Detective Hercule Poiret, played by Peter Ustinov (Death on the Nile, Logan’s Run), found himself on a small island where a dead body showed up. With Maggie Smith (Downton Abbey, The Lady in the Van) as Daphne Castle, James Mason (A Star is Born, North by Northwest) as Odell Gardener, Nicholas Clay (Excalibur, Zulu Dawn) as Patrick Redfern and Diana Rigg (Game of Thrones-TV, The Painted Veil) as Arlena Stuart Marshall; this film festival nominee’s story was based on Agatha Christie’s novel. Just knowing that will tell you what you are in store for when watching this movie. The cast was eclectic and fun to watch; I enjoyed all the characters, especially the ones of Maggie Smith and Diana Rigg. With such a large cast there were several story lines to follow, but it was easy to do so. Out of the different movies made from Agatha Christie’s novels, I found this screenplay slightly tamer with several bland scenes. The setting was great, the actors were well versed; I only wished there was more suspense and dramatic flair. Still, I enjoyed trying to figure out who committed the crime.
THE TRIP WAS ALREADY PAID FOR and I guess there was also a hope that a change of venue would smooth things out. Our relationship had gone into a tailspin just prior to our planned vacation. We had a discussion about whether it made sense for us to even go on a trip since we were experiencing hurt feelings and mistrust; but at the last moment, we decided since we were both miserable we might as well be miserable in a warmer climate instead of being stuck at home in the middle of winter. Honestly, I was good with the plan if for no other reason I would not have to shovel snow for a week. The other reason we agreed to continue with out plans was because we had already purchased tickets to see one of our favorite performers, who had a scheduled stop on their concert tour in the same place. How ironic then when we got there we found out the concert had been cancelled due to illness. Without the concert being something to look forward to, we had a miserable time. There was nothing else to look forward to on the trip and though we tried to patch things up, my pain would not heal. We flew back home with little conversation between us; 2 years of a relationship had come to an end. IN SOME OF MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS, there were times where an outside event had a strong impact on the two of us. Negative or positive, the fact we were experiencing it together helped clear the air of any grievances we happened to be experiencing at the moment. I do not exactly know why a strong outside event can have such an impact, but my guess is the handling together of a tough or let me say eye opening situation forges a bond between the 2 parties; it will either help solidify the bruised relationship or it will become a wedge to totally pry apart the individuals. I had a friend who was in a relationship that had the usual give and take. At one point they were going through a low point that extended beyond their usual durations. Sadly, an older relative that the 2 were quite fond of passed away. Their death brought the two back together in a stronger way, like never before; at least as far I as I had seen. As of today they are still together and appear as happy as ever. Seeing what was happening with the couple in this comedic crime action film, I was not sure they would get to the same place. WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP BREAKING APART AFTER a few years together, a couple find themselves on the wrong side of the law when a bike messenger crashes down onto their car’s windshield. The only way they can save themselves was to find out who killed the messenger. With Issa Rae (The Photograph, Little) as Leilani, Kumail Nanjiani (The Big Sick, Stuber) as Jibran, Paul Sparks (Midnight Special, Boardwalk Empire-TV) as Moustache, Anna Camp (The Help, Pitch Perfect franchise) as Edie and Kyle Bornheimer (Marriage Story, The Big Wedding) as Brett, what made this film watchable and enjoyable was the connection between the two leads, Issa and Kumail. Their timing was in synch as was their believability. I thought they carried the weak script and did the best they could with it. There were several goofy scenes that did not make much sense, along with coming together in a choppy way at times. However, I was forgiving since the time spent was a short distraction from being at home and watching Issa and Kumail go through their scenes sometimes got a chuckle out of me.
2 ¼ stars
ONE OF THE BASIC RULES I LEARNED in science class was opposites attract. Every solid, liquid, gas and plasma are composed of atoms and within those atoms you will find subatomic particles called protons, neutrons and electrons. The positive charged protons and negative charged electrons attract each other; hence, the phrase “opposites attract.” If you try to put two protons together, they will repel from each other. From this basic rule, I have gone through life not fearing things or people that are different. However, in elementary school I learned that there are some people who do not like those that are different from themselves. In my neighborhood there was a parochial school. Some of the male students of the school formed a gang (I know, it sounds odd). Whenever they were off for a religious holiday, the boys would show up at our public school during our recess time and try to start fights with us. They would call us derogatory names; sometimes, using hateful slang that referred to what they perceived was our religious beliefs. Sadly, this was an ugly lesson for me to learn on how some people form dislikes based solely on someone’s looks, beliefs or simply on the way they think. I AM FORTUNATE THAT WITHIN MY circle of friends and family no one is as judgmental as what I just described. There is a couple I know who are in synch when it comes to all aspects of their life, except for their political views. They are opposites; in other words, one is a democrat and the other is a republican. Many mutual friends do not understand how this couple could be connected in so many ways but have such different world views politically. I remind these people that opposites attract. They have had rational discussions where each one will present their views on a topic without being judgmental towards the other one’s views. Most of the time they used to end their talks by agreeing to disagree; these days they no longer will talk politics to each other. I believe it is because things are more polarized these days, people seem to be more extreme. One of the big changes I have seen recently is how hate has become part of people’s discussions. It is not enough to just think differently than someone else; one now openly hates the individual for thinking differently. Does that make sense? Hatred must be acceptable I guess because I see so much more of it out in the open. Being reported on the news, people in heated arguments out in public; I have become more fearful when I go outside. You never know if things could get to the point where they do in this action, horror thriller. WAKING UP TO DISCOVER THEY WERE muzzled and in an open field, a group of strangers do not have time to figure out what happened to them when they suddenly hear a gunshot. With Betty Gilpin (True Story, Isn’t it Romantic) as Crystal, Hilary Swank (The Homesman, P.S. I Love You) as Athena, Ike Barinholtz (Suicide Squad, The Oath) as Staten Island, Wayne Duvall (The Kitchen, Prisoners) as Don and Ethan Suplee (American History X, Remember the Titans) as Gary; this satire had its moments. I felt the writers’ focus was to create a wicked satirical piece that would get everyone talking; there were some scenes that were heavy handed in trying to achieve this exact thing. There were other scenes that were amusing to me; however, I found several scenes of violence that were so over the top to the point it was a distraction. In other words, gore and blood. Out of the cast, I thought Betty and Hilary were the standouts with their characters. Betty gave it everything she had, I felt. Based on the current environment, I could see where this film might have an impact on viewers. I only wish the writers had worked harder on connecting the story in a real way instead of thinking they were writing such a “daring piece.” They might disagree with me and that is okay.
I DID NOT KNOW WHAT WAS chasing me but instinctively I knew it would kill me. It discovered me hiding in the stairwell. I did not look behind to see it as I raced up the stairs, knocking off a couple of framed pictures that were hanging on the walls. They crashed onto the stairs, shattering glass everywhere; I hoped it would slow down whatever was after me. Though I knew where I was running, it was not my house. All I kept hearing besides my heartbeat pounding in my ears was a low growling sound. No matter where I went in the house, I could hear it. It seemed as if I had only been running for a second, but I was not sure. Time had no relevance now as I tried finding an escape route. Every room I ran into led me to another room. At some point I knew my adrenalin fueled speed would wane; I needed to find a place where I could hide. As I entered the next room there was an unmade bed. I wasn’t thinking straight; but I quickly jumped into the bed, pulling the disheveled blanket and bedspread over me. I hoped I was blending in with the covers, so the bed still looked like a mess. It took me by surprise, but something grabbed my ankle and I screamed. I COULD NOT CATCH MY BREATH as I opened my eyes. Laying still in bed, it took me a moment to realize I had had a bad dream. But something was not right; I sensed there was a threat close by. Pulling the blanket just past my eyes I could see a shadow on the wall and then, I realized I was hearing that same growling sound. I tried to scream for help, but I could not muster any breath to come out of my mouth. All I could do was emit a gagging sound; I was sure my life would be ending. My eyes opened to see my blanket was still over my face. I was gasping for air, but I no longer sensed another presence in the room. Slowly I tugged at the blanket until my eyes were uncovered. Scanning the ceiling for any shadows before I moved my head, I saw nothing unusual in the room. I was utterly exhausted and remained still for the next several minutes as I tried to piece together what just happened. I must’ve had a dream of me having a dream; I was so confused. My confusion was not so dissimilar from what I experienced while watching this dramatic, fantasy horror. A FRANTIC PHONE CALL CUT SHORT leads Jack Radcliffe, played by David Oyelowo (Selma, Queen of Katwe) to a gruesome discovery. To make matters worse, he gets another phone call from the same caller. With Byron Mann (The Big Short, Skyscraper) as Detective Roger Lee, Storm Reid (A Wrinkle in Time, Sleight) as Ashley, Mykeiti Williamson (Fences, Run the Race) as Bobby and Shinelle Azoroh (Nostalgia, Code Black-TV) as Susan, this film’s strong suit was the acting. I thought David and Storm did an above average job in portraying their characters. The story, though it sounded interesting to me, was odd. As it unfolded in this film, it seemed to get sillier. Scenes were divided into past and present which at times caused confusion. It was a shame because there were a few tense scenes that started to draw me in; but then, the feeling would be gone in the next scene. I am not sure what the writers were dreaming or hoping to create with this story, but I do not think they were expecting to get a reaction like the reaction I got from this movie—it was a nightmare.
1 ¾ stars
HE WAS A MEAN, NASTY, RUDE MAN and I worked for him. Being more wide than tall, I think he compensated for it by yelling at people. The company had less than 100 employees; some of them were related to him. I was extra cautious around them, not sure if they loved or hated their relative. Working for him always meant one had to be ready for his phone call or command. He would think nothing of it to call an employee on the telephone late at night. Half the time the calls had nothing to do with work. He would want someone to go pickup something for him, like a pizza or Chinese food. An employee once told me he got woken up early in the morning by the owner, who told him to go to the airport to pick up one of his relatives who was flying in for a visit. Granted he was successful, driving expensive cars and taking lavish trips; but he yielded his wealth like a battering ram, to make people submissive to him. Refusing him meant there was a good chance you would not get a raise in your salary. I was so grateful I did not have much contact with him while I worked there. IT TURNS OUT THAT OWNER WAS one of many individuals I encountered who used their wealth as a weapon. There was the relative who consistently told friends and family what they “should” do with their lives. Since this relative felt they were successful and wealthy, they had the right to tell other people what they did wrong, both in life and career. From my dealings with people of wealth, I realized being wealthy does not necessarily mean one has brains and/or good taste. Sure, a rich person could spend a small fortune on decorating their home, but that does not mean it would be considered a beautiful and comfortable place. I had a friend who would only buy designer clothing. By that, I mean clothes where the designer’s name is prominently displayed on the clothing. They thought they looked great in outfits; but I am here to tell you, some of the stuff they wore was impractical and unattractive. The way I see it, people who showoff their wealth or yield it to get their way are ugly inside. Not that I am stereotyping here; for there are many wealthy people who do not advertise their financial status and do good things. But if you are looking for them you will not find them in this mystery horror thriller. ON HER WEDDING DAY GRACE, PLAYED by Samara Weaving (Home and Away-TV; Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri) was not only marrying the love of her life, she was getting his entire family. It turns out that would not be a good thing. With Adam Brody (Mr. & Mrs. Smith, CHIPS) as Daniel Le Domas, Mark O’Brien (Arrival, The Front Runner) as Alex Le Domas, Henry Czerny (The Other Half, Clear and Present Danger) as Tony Le Domas and Andie MacDowell (Hudson Hawk, Four Weddings and a Funeral) as Becky Le Domas; this biting satire was bloody wild. And I do mean bloody. I not only thought Samara was great in this role, I thought the entire cast did a spot-on job with their characters. The script was filled with humor and horror; but written in such a smart way that it felt like I was on a carnival ride while watching this picture. Even if I did not have my history with unpleasant wealthy people, I would still appreciate the social commentary being done in the script. Despite my uncomfortableness with bloody scenes, watching this film was like finding something special on a scavenger hunt. It really stood out from the usual films in this genre. There were several scenes with blood and violence.
GATHERED IN THE HOUSE WAS A mix of adults and children for the celebration. Everyone was getting along and enjoying the food. The children were being kids with their usual interruptions of “She said” and “He did” complaints. There were a couple of incidents where a child was crying, but the adults quickly intervened to calm the child down. At some point a four-year-old came up to me and asked if I could read a story to him; in his hand, he already had a large hardbound book. I told him I would be happy to read to him. He led me over to the couch and told me where to sit. After the boy handed me the book he climbed up and sat next to me. I started reading out loud to him, pointing at the illustrations when they were being described in the story. He seemed to be enjoying the story and even asked me a couple of times to explain something further. At one point, I do not recall specifically what topic I was reading at the time, the little boy pressed his finger to a word on the page then turned and slapped me in the face. He giggled which angered me more. I closed the book, putting it down on the couch. Next, I turned to him as I started to stand up and lifted him at arms’ length away from me. We went right to his parents where I explained why I was not going to finish reading the book to him. WHERE DOES A CHILD LEARN THAT it is okay to strike someone? It is a question I have always wondered about. Some of the reasons I have come up with include the child may have seen family members fighting or the child had been a victim of abuse and/or bulling or maybe the child’s parents had poor parenting skills; I honestly do not know. There is another option I have thought about based on my experiences when I was a small boy. There are just some kids who are bad. Now you may say there is no such thing as a bad child, but I would have to disagree. Maybe it has to do with a child’s environment; however, I feel children at some point understand the difference between right and wrong. If nothing else among their peers, they would be judged on their actions and realize what is and is not appropriate behavior. In school wouldn’t the child get an explanation on why they were given a detention or sent to the principal’s office? I think some children thrive on bad behavior. If you don’t believe me then see what the young boy does in this dramatic horror thriller. HUSBAND AND WIFE JOHN AND SARAH, played by Peter Mooney (We Were Wolves, Rookie Blue-TV) and Taylor Schilling (The Lucky One, Orange is the New Black-TV), quickly realized there was something special about their son Miles, played by Jackson Robert Scott (It, Locke & Key-TV). That specialness however had a good and bad side. I was somewhat surprised by this movie and I think it is because I enjoyed the acting from Taylor and Jackson. The script was a close copy of previous child horror film scripts; there were few new elements in this story. In addition, most of the scenes meant to scare the audience were telegraphed well in advance. I did appreciate at least that the writers and director kept the blood level to a minimum. There was an opportunity here to make something different and scary, but I have to chalk it up to “bad” decisions being made that turned this film into a bland movie watching experience.
IT IS MY MAIN GROCERY STORE that I have been going to for over 10 years. Though the store is one of the grocery chain’s larger format stores, I can quickly navigate through the aisles with efficiency. After so many years I pretty much know where everything is located, and I must tell you that is the reason I do not mind shopping for groceries. I am such a routine person that I find calmness when I can go on automatic and not have to think about what I am doing; I am talking about the more mundane chores we do as adults. Pushing my shopping cart to the exact products I need to buy is a wonderful thing. I do not have the patience to wander aimlessly up and down the aisles, as I try to find something. It is such a waste of time. Another thing I try to do is go food shopping late at night when there are less people in the store. During these times I can be in and out of the store with several bags of groceries in under 15 minutes. When I walk in I know what to expect. THE DATE WAS OCTOBER 10TH, A date I will never forget because that is when everything changed for me. My grocery store was closed for a short time after they spent months remodeling. The closure was to fully restock all the shelves and have their “Grand Reopening” celebration. I walked in and immediately felt like I had walked into a strange place. All the aisles had been redone; I did not know where anything was as I struggled looking for some semblance of normalcy. My bread was no longer in Aisle 2 as well as my cereal was now hiding somewhere else. I was distraught. Ok, maybe I am being a little too dramatic here; but I was not comfortable having to go up and down aisles, trying to find the stuff on my grocery list. In time I knew I would learn all the changes and go back to putting myself on automatic, to quickly make my way thru the store. I do not think I am the only person who does this, but don’t others like to know what to expect when going into a situation? Whether it is the grocery store, sporting event or instructional session; there are times where a person wants to know what they are getting into before committing to it. That is usually the case with this actor’s movies; you know what to expect from him. BEING TOLD HIS SON DIED OF A drug overdose was not something Nels Coxman, played by Liam Neeson (The Commuter, Widows), believed; he knew his son was not a “druggie.” Nels was determined to find out how his son died, and he was not going to let anyone stop him. This dramatic action thriller also starred Laura Dern (Wild, Wild at Heart) as Grace Coxman, Emmy Rossum (The Phantom of the Opera, The Day After Tomorrow) as Kim Dash, Tom Bateman (Murder on the Orient Express, Snatched) as Trevor “Viking” Calcote and Domenick Combardozzi (Miami Vice, The Family) as Mustang. These days you know exactly what you are going to get when you see Liam Neeson in a film. He played the same type of character here as he has done before; an uber masculine, macho man who doesn’t appear to have the lethal skill set needed for the character but does. The only difference with this script compared to the others Liam has recently been in is this one had an element of dark humor. It wasn’t bad; but I thought there needed to be more of it, to tell you the truth. I was confused by Liam’s character; how did he get to be such a menace in this film, there was no back story. Still the story was not so different that it would stand out. I expected as much when I bought my movie ticket.
2 ¼ stars
IT WAS AN OUTDOOR SHOPPING CENTER made to look like a town square. I was not interested in how it looked, only needed to go to one store located somewhere inside. Within the first minute of turning into the mall I was already annoyed by the parking lot; it was set like an English garden maze, except the green hedges were replaced with concrete curbs. From the posted signs I knew I had to be somewhere in the right area, so I decided to park and make my way on foot. Luckily the store was easy to find and once inside I quickly found what I was looking for before I headed back to my car in record time. Next on my to do list was going to the bank. I asked the virtual voice assistant on my phone for the nearest location to a branch of my bank. Directions were offered which I followed out of the parking lot. I made my way down the street for a short time, just past the shopping mall. Being told to turn down a side street I would up winding my way south, having to stop at each intersection because of stop signs. Finally coming out onto a thoroughfare I was instructed to turn west. The next thing I knew I was back at the shopping center and right there was a sign pointing me to the bank. I FOUND IT ANNOYING THAT I HAD to drive out of the mall, through a residential area, only to be directed back into the mall. It made no sense to me. Maybe there was some reason why the interactive assistant had me drive that way, but I found it confusing. These days I find many things confusing and it is not because of an addled mind. It just seems as if common sense is becoming a rare commodity. Later in the day I was at a condominium building and the elevator had a handwritten sign taped inside that said, “Due to the freezing temperatures it is suggested the cabinet doors under all sinks are opened to prevent pipes freezing. This made no sense to me; how would pipes freeze in a unit of a multi-storied condominium building? Don’t all the residents get their water from a main line that then divides out to each unit? I could spend all day listing the things I come across that make no sense to me; but instead, I will just let today’s movie show you what I am talking about. THE QUIET PEACEFUL LIFE BAKER DILL, played by Matthew McConaughey (Gold, The Dark Tower), had created for himself came apart when his ex-wife suddenly appeared with a desperate plea to save her. This dramatic thriller also starred Anne Hathaway (Ocean’s Eight, The Intern) as Karen Zariakas, Diane Lane (Trumbo, Secretariat) as Constance, Jason Clarke (First Man, Everest) as Frank Zariakas and Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond, Guardians of the Galaxy) as Duke. I actually think the actors could have handled anything that got thrown to them, but I do not know how they maintained their composure with this bizarre script. Their first clue, I believe, would have been their initial read through of it. The story made no sense to me which added to my boredom. Maybe the writer wanted to create a twisted, sexy, tension building story but all I found were things that made me scratch my head in confusion. It is a shame because I enjoyed the look of the film and particularly the setting, which was this idyllic island. There is already enough I encounter that dumbfounds me; there was no reason why I needed to pay for my confusion by watching this picture.
1 ½ stars
THERE ARE CERTAIN EVENTS IN OUR life that we can never let go of or forget. I have a relative who has never liked clowns; whether in person or on television, this relative had a strong reaction the first time she saw a clown. She and her family went one day to a local carnival that came into town, pitching their tents and rides in a nearby neighborhood. They were walking around, checking out all the rides, when a man dressed up as a clown spotted them and started to make his way towards them. Waving his hands in the air while laughing out a “helloooo”, the little girl looked at him and let out a shriek. Before her parents could pick her up and console her, she picked up a rock and threw it at the clown. The rock fell short, but it made the clown stop in his tracks as the little girl ran behind her parents. It took some time to calm their daughter down, deciding it was best to leave the carnival. I am here to tell you that little girl has never forgotten that clown and wants nothing to do with any clowns even up to this day. THAT LITTLE GIRL IS NOT THE only one who carries a fear for something from one’s childhood. One thing I am still afraid of are bats; not the baseball kind, the flying ones. When I was a little boy I was traumatized by a bat that got into our house. I still remember exactly when it happened. It was an early Saturday morning and I was the first one who had woken up. I had gone into the living room to turn on the television, so I could watch Saturday morning cartoons. As I was lying on the floor with my pillow and blanket I heard a sound above my head. It sounded like loose clapping. When I looked up I saw a large, dark thing flying around the upper window panes. I freaked out and let out a scream as I covered my head with my blanket and raced back to my bedroom. My yelling woke up the family as you can imagine. Everyone came running out to look for me. I never saw but heard it took a broom and plastic trash bag to get the bat out of the house. Another thing that has bothered me all these years are louvered closet doors; all because of this movie franchise. IT HAS BEEN 40 YEARS AND a day hasn’t gone by where Laurie Strode, played by Jamie Lee Curtis (Freaky Friday, A Fish Called Wanda), hasn’t thought about the man who almost killed her. Her nightmare isn’t about to end just yet. This horror thriller also starred Judy Greer (27 Dresses, 13 Going on 30) as Karen, Andi Matichak (Miles, Evol) as Allyson, Haluk Bilginer (Ben-Hur, The International) as Dr. Sartain and Will Patton (The Postman, The Punisher) as Officer Hawkins. This was one of the best sequels I have seen this year. I thought the writers created a believable chapter for this film franchise. There was a mixture of nostalgia, campiness and old school thrills in the story. I feel those who at least remember parts the first movie will better enjoy this picture. There were a few brief bloody scenes, but I appreciated many of them were more suspense filled with visual clues than actual violent gore. I did not expect to enjoy this film as much as I did; for me, I felt most of my emotions were tied into my memories of my life back when I saw the first film. Which probably has kept fueled my dislike of louvered closet doors all these years.
THE BRIGHT RED BIRD LOOKED like a cross between an ostrich and a flamingo. Long legs and neck connected to this round belly. The bird’s beak was bright yellow and on top of its head there was a tuft of elongated feathers that veered off in different directions. I still can remember how my friend would walk his bird around the room in this sort of hop along, bobbing type of gait. He had gotten the bird as a gift, though if he named the bird I have no recollection of it. The bird was a 16-18” tall puppet. My friend would hold these two wooden sticks that were nailed together into a plus sign, with string attached to each end. The strings were then each affixed to a different part of the bird’s body. Though the beak did not open, the bird’s eyes were not stationary; they had eyelids that would blink depending on the movement of the bird’s head. It was quite a comical sight for us. I had a few stuffed animals when I was younger that I would imitate the animal’s voice; but I would have to hold the animal to make it move. Here there was a stuffed animal that looked like it was moving on its own; it provided hours of fun. PRIOR TO MY FRIEND’S BIRD PUPPET, the only type of puppets I had personal knowledge of were the hand puppets we used to make in school. I am sure many of you did the same thing; where you take a lunch bag, turn it upside down and draw a face on it. Where the first fold of the bag is at the bottom, you would draw the mouth. Some of the girls in class would draw hair and ribbons on their bag; if an evil face was going to be placed on the bag it was usually drawn by a boy. We would stick a hand inside the bag to make the mouth talk by opening and closing our fingers into a fist. I remember one class assignment where we had to create a scenic backdrop on the inside of a box, after removing one side of the box. The teacher set up a table for us to place our boxes; there was a curtain stretched in front of it where we could hide behind to raise our paper bag puppet up and put on a show. I happened to remember this while watching this comedic, action crime film because I would have rather watched our kids’ shows than what I saw on display up on the movie screen. A SERIES OF PUPPET MURDERS WAS plaguing Los Angeles. Two former detectives who had parted ways had to come together to help solve the crimes. Starring Melissa McCarthy (Life of the Party, The Heat) as Detective Connie Edwards, Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games franchise, Love & Mercy) as Jenny, Maya Rudolph (Away We Go, Inherent Vice) as Bubbles, Leslie David Baker (Wish I Was Here, The Office-TV) as Lt. Banning and Joel McHale (Deliver Us from Evil, The Informant!) as Agent Campbell; the one actor that stood out for me was Maya. Melissa, who I previously have said has incredible comedic timing, played the same type of character she has played before. The script was generic and only produced one laugh out of me. Maybe the writers thought having R rated puppets was enough of a laugh; for me, I found it quickly became a bore because every move was so predictable. As a side note, if Jim Henson was alive today I wonder how he would have felt about his son directing this picture? More fun could be gotten out of a paper bag puppet than being stuck watching this “bad” movie. There was an extra scene in the middle of the credits and this IS NOT A FILM FOR CHILDREN.
1 ½ stars