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Flash Movie Review: The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
She could be so vindictive even while serving you buttered toast. I do not want to say she was untouchable, but she was essentially the only one who knew how to operate the outdated billing system at the company. By today’s standards she would have been written up by her manager multiple times; I was one of her victims having been on the receiving end of a spiteful attack. I had done nothing wrong in my dealings with this one customer; however, while she was on the switchboard she added some extra lines to the message the customer left for their salesperson. She made it look like I had been verbally abusive with the customer. Luckily I kept detailed notes about all my accounts, so her plan did not hit me full force. I will tell you I was furious and spent a long week dealing with my anger at her, devising imaginative plots of revenge. Each plan I came up with became more outrageous as my anger increased, even though I knew I would not act on any of them. But do you know what I did instead? I took my anger and started working harder at my job, soliciting more conversations from my contacts, to strike up a sense of familiarity between us. As time passed my efforts paid off and I was promoted to a bigger position. I became that employee’s boss. You are probably thinking I made her life a living hell, but I did not. Though I remained wary of her, I kept close tabs on her since we had to work together. Sort of the same thing the 2 agents had to do in this action adventure film. DURING the cold war a new threat emerged that could become more powerful than the United States or Soviet Union. CIA agent Napoleon Solo, played by Henry Cavill (Immortals, Man of Steel), and KGB operative Illya Kuryakin, played by Armie Hammer (Mirror Mirror, The Lone Ranger), would have to work together if they were to succeed in their mission. Based on the 1960s television series there were parts of this film that were fun and entertaining. With a slick stylized look to the movie I enjoyed some of the banter that took place between the two agents. However, I did not care for the story much; it seemed choppy and uneven to me. The fight scenes only seemed to enhance this point; I did not like the way they were filmed for the most part. Throughout the picture it appeared to me everything was being laid out as an overture to what would become the main movie, the possible sequel. This felt like a trial run of a story so I will try to keep an open mind if the film studio decided to do another one.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Shaun the Sheep
A friend of mine has been making fun of me because of my new refrigerator. After many years the old fridge died and I had to buy a new one which was the easy part. The hard part has been arranging the food with the different configuration of shelves and drawers inside the new refrigerator. I am a creature of habit and find comfort in keeping a steady routine. So now when I open the refrigerator door I have to search for items because I was so used to knowing where everything was inside the previous fridge. This throws me for a loop and has been fodder for my friend’s teasing. Just for a reference point when you open her refrigerator plan on participating in a scavenger hunt. I know there are many people who constantly must have change in their lives; it can be anywhere from moving every couple of years to making sure they never have the same meal twice during the week. I on the other hand can and have eaten the same lunch at work for years; I know exactly what I need at the grocery store each week to maintain these lunches. Now there is another aspect to all of this and it is those individuals who imagine the grass is greener on the other side, to use a cliche here. All I have to say to that is be careful because you never know how things will turn out in reality compared to your dreams. If you do not believe me just watch what happens when Shaun the Sheep decides to take a break. WRITTEN and directed by Mark Burton (Chicken Run, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit) and Richard Starzak (Wallace & Gromit, Rex the Run-TV), this film festival nominated adventure comedy was a visual triumph. Using the stop-motion claymation style alone would have been fun enough; however, the witty and clever story had generational appeal. The way the writers included classic movie scenes with physical humor was utterly brilliant or let me say, baa-rilliant. There was very little dialog used throughout this film and I did not mind one bit because of the seamless movements of all the characters. It must have taken years to create this visual feast of a film. The thing I especially liked about the story was at its core there was a real heart to it. Some of the other movie studios that produce animated films could learn a lesson or two from this picture. For those of you (like myself) who prefer keeping a routine, I hope you can make an exception and go see this film. To those of you who need change then this film is a real change to what has been out recently at the movie theaters. There were 2 very brief scenes at the end of the credits.
3 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Fantastic Four
One of the quickest ways to bond with another human being is to share an event together. Whether it is an occurrence filled with celebration or tragedy, there is something about being a part of the same occasion that cuts through the preliminary chitchat and creates a quicker path to friendship or possibly something more. One of the first health clubs that hired me to teach aerobics had an all female staff. I always assumed I was hired because of my teaching skills and style, hoping that I did not get the job because I was a novelty. It was a year later when another man was hired on staff. The two of us quickly bonded, sitting near each other during staff meetings and traveling together to fitness conventions. Now do not get me wrong, this was in no shape a battle of the sexes type of thing or a testosterone competition; we just happened to have a similar mindset towards teaching, with the same type of humor. And do you want to know something; we have remained friends all these years. I could share other examples of how people bond but the events may cause you to become sad and I would rather we all try to stay upbeat with tonight’s movie review of this science fiction, action adventure film. TELEPORTED to a distant world, the four space travelers returned to earth changed in unusual ways. They would have to learn to work together to overcome their differences if they wanted to save the world from an evil force. Having gone to this viewing with no prior knowledge of the film, my shock and confusion about what I was watching was a surprise to me. With competent actors Miles Teller (Whiplash, That Awkward Moment) as Reed Richards, Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station, That Awkward Moment) as Johnny Storm, Kate Mara (127 Hours, Shooter) as Sue Storm and Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot, King Kong) as Ben Grimm, I was stunned at how poorly they came across on the big screen. The reason started with the script and anyone else involved with this film who was not familiar with what it took to make a superhero movie. The first half of the fim was utterly boring; with no action, no humor or fun surprises. I could not remember a recent time where an entire cast looked like they were sleepwalking through the picture. As for the evil aspect to the story, it was simply dull and did not provide any thrills. The fact that there was no extra scene at the end of the credits spoke volumes about how poorly managed this project was from beginning to end. On the plus side a group of us stopped in the theater lobby after the movie to talk about our similar negative reactions to this super dud.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Vacation
When I used to hear the word vacation I knew that meant we were taking a road trip. My preparation consisted of getting the latest comic books, magazines, along with plenty of snacks; what clothes to bring was less important to me. With the entire back seat of the car as my living space throughout the trip, I could stretch out and nap when there was nothing interesting to see out the car windows. I not only have hundreds of fond memories from those road trips, but I can recall all the not so nice things that I experienced going across the country. For example there was the trip we took to Florida where the driver was the son of family friends. He wanted to take the shortest amount of time to get to our destination so bathroom breaks were scheduled based on time not need. There was one long stretch where I started to cry because I had to use the bathroom so badly. There was another trip where we planned to stop overnight so we could rest up and arrive for lunch the next day at our destination. Unfortunately the motel we had reservations at had mice and cockroaches leading us down the hallway towards our room. We did not even bother making it to our room before turning around and leaving that place. Oh and I cannot forget the motel room that had a bathroom that looked like a crime scene. Vacations should not have to be hard; someone needed to tell the family in this adventure comedy. HOPING to give his family the same fond memories he experienced when he was a kid Rusty Griswold, played by Ed Helms (The Hangover franchise, Cedar Rapids), decided he was going to take the family on a vacation to Walley World. There certainly was going to be a lot of memories made from this road trip. This story was not a sequel or reboot; what it did was take the character of Rusty from the original film and have him be an adult with a family of his own. Christina Applegate (Hall Pass, Anchorman franchise) played Rusty’s wife Debbie. Five minutes into the picture and I was immediately turned off by the story. Essentially the writers tried to make jokes out of the younger son bullying his older brother and I found it offensive. This went on for over half of the film and I did not find it funny at all. The rest of the jokes consisted of crude bathroom humor and dull sight gags. The only plus in this movie was Leslie Mann (The Other Woman, This is 40) and Chris Hemsworth (The Avengers franchise, Rush) as Audrey and Stone Crandall. If I had known I would have put in a 60 hour work week instead of taking time to go see this boring film.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ant-Man
There is one kind of hero that resides in a make-believe world. They could have an extraordinary power because of the planet they came from or due to an earth shattering accident that changed them on the molecular level. I enjoy and look forward to seeing these types of superheroes on the big screen. However, there is a different type of hero that is just as strong and important; who was born here on earth, did not experience a life transforming accident and for the most part is unrecognizable. They do not have some special type of clothing that can block bullets or allow them to fly; instead they may be wearing a white apron and hairnet as they stand behind the counter of a school’s cafeteria. Or they may be on disability as a life threatening disease slowly spreads across their body. I see these type of heroes all around me. There is the single mother who has to pull double shifts so her child can afford school supplies and lunches. Another hero I have seen is the volunteer who devotes time everyday to bring food and check-in on a stranger who is housebound. For me these are some of the true heroes around us. I am so impressed by the individuals who do not wear their heroism like a badge of honor; they simply do what they do because they have to or want to do it. This is why I was impressed with the unlikely hero in this action film. WHAT started out as a way for con man Scott Lang, played by Paul Rudd (Role Models, This is 40), to see his daughter turned into a crisis that would have worldwide consequences. This science fiction adventure film did not fit into the typical superhero genre. Here was a human with no special powers who was not an ideal citizen; yet he overcame himself to become the Ant-Man. Paul was perfectly cast for this role and he even helped with the screenplay. Michael Douglas (Falling Down, Wonder Boys) as Dr. Hank Pym and Evangeline Lilly (Real Steal, The Hurt Locker) as his daughter Hope van Dyne were an excellent fit. Now I understood there was a change of directors and writers for this film and I am not sure if that is the reason why I found the 2nd half of the film to be stronger. I really had to give thought to the idea I was reacting to the movie having a long intro arc without many special effects. However, Paul along with the fun sight gags in the film made this a worthy picture, besides a mini history lesson (at least for me) into the Avengers World. Pulling off this type of movie was no small feat and the studio succeeded. Two extra scenes in the middle and end of the closing credits.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Big Game
As I made my way up the seldom used staircase to the attic I could hear the wood groaning under my feet. I rarely need to be up there where essentially it has turned into one large storage room. As I lifted the door open at the top of the stairs I began to take in air that had not moved in years. Walking through the clothes bins, one of them attracted my eye. Through its semiopaque lid I saw the outline of some animal. I opened the bin and lying on top was a sweater I used to wear years ago. It was purchased during a period of time where Nordic themed fashion was the rage. This copper colored sweater with the image of a large antlered stag across the front was something I thought was the coolest thing back then. Everyone back then was wearing sweaters with various images of animals in winter scenes splayed across their chest. If the sleeves had multicolored yarns woven partially up the sides, the sweater was extra cool. I started to remember those times where all of us appeared to have had more fun, less responsibilities and less news that horrified us like it does these days. As the sunlight falling in from the one small window at the front of the attic began to dim; I put back the sweater, found the item I was originally looking for and came downstairs. That was the last time I reveled in those type of memories of an easier carefree past until I saw this fun retro action film. AFTER surviving the crash of Air Force One in a remote area of Finland President William Alan Moore, played Samuel L. Jackson (The Avengers franchise, Reasonable Doubt), had to depend on 13 year old Oskari, played by Omni Tommila (Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, Last Cowboy Standing), who was in the middle of a village ritual to being considered a man. Time would not be an abundant commodity for either of them. This adventure film was a hoot to watch with its throwback style and story. I enjoyed seeing Samuel toning it down to play a more submissive type of character than he normally portrays. The cast which included Ray Stevens (The Book of Eli, Divergent franchise) as Morris and Felicity Huffman (Transamerica, Desperate Housewives-TV) as the CIA director all looked like they enjoyed playing their characters. The story was somewhat predictable and cheesy; but I think that was what the writers were trying to do to create this picture that reminded me of those action movies from the 1980s and 90s. This was a fun no-frills film that favored a class of movies from a distant past. Several scenes had spoken Finnish with English subtitles.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Terminator Genisys
There is one individual I still have heated debates with that rarely end in mutual agreement. That person would be me; I am my own harshest critic. I doubt I am totally alone in this regard. There are times where I have gone back and forth about something before acting upon it. I have to look at the pluses and minuses for each option available to me; this is why it has been hard for me to immediately reply yes when someone asks me if I want to do something. The time where I really beat myself up is when I react quickly before thinking things out. This past weekend I was out with a group of people. There was a lot of people coming and going where someone in one group knew someone in another, so there was a lot of introductions going on. Two people unfamiliar to me joined our group. Things went at a pleasant pace with laughter and jokes. At the end of the evening these two individuals started saying their goodbyes to everyone. There was something about one of them that looked familiar to me and before I could drop my filter in place to process my thoughts before uttering them, I said something to them I intended to be a compliment. The look on their face told me it was not received that way. I wanted to kick myself for even saying anything; I should have kept quiet. At least I only beat myself up mentally, nothing like what was done in this science fiction adventure. GROWN-UP resistance leader John Connor, played by Jason Clarke (The Great Gatsby, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes), had a plan to save his mother Sarah, played by Emilia Clark (Game of Thrones-TV, Dom Hemingway). He would send Kyle Reese, played by Jai Courtney (Divergent franchise, The Water Diviner), back in time to protect her. However Kyle was not prepared for what he found when he got there. This addition to the earlier Terminator films was all about the special effects. An older Arnold Schwarzenegger (Escape Plan, The Expendables franchise) played the Guardian and in what was to be an epic scene had to fight his younger self. Sound confusing doesn’t it; well do not worry you are not alone. The script became tedious as it kept using time jumping for an excuse to move the story along. It made me lose interest in this picture. Since Arnold could not do all the action stunts, his character had to use parody for comic relief. In an odd way I felt the writers were counting on viewers to be nostalgic about the story, so they spent less time thinking things through before writing them down. They could have used my mulling over abilities. There was an extra scene in the middle of the ending credits.
2 1/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Max
I used to think there were some dogs that were just bad, but I came to my senses. It turned out it really was the dog owners that were bad. My original train of thought was due to a loose dog in the neighborhood where I grew up, that tried biting me as I rode my bicycle down the street near its house. Luckily as I grew up there was a relative of mine that adopted a black poodle that changed my views about dogs. This poodle really showed my what it was like to have a dog be a member of the family. In my adult life I encountered many dogs that were the children of friends and family. I realized like children dogs were not born bad, they had to be trained or not be trained to act in a non-appropriate way. There was one dog in particular that touched me in a special way that cemented my feelings about dogs. This mixed breed dog was not only a loving creature, but was able to express empathy. I will never forget the time when its owner was lying on their bed crying and the dog quietly jumped up and lied down next to them, putting its front paw across their back. I was nearly speechless as I witnessed this sympathetic act. Now when I hear a story like I did last week from a member in my class about walking their dog when the neighbors 2 dogs ran out to attack her dog, I know it says more about the owner instead of their dogs. I believe this even more now that I have seen this heartwarming film. UNABLE to be handled by anyone else after his handler Kyle Wincott, played by Robbie Amell (The DUFF, The Hunters-TV movie), was killed in the line of duty; the military had only one option left to avoid putting down Max, the bomb sniffing dog. They hoped Kyle’s parents Pamela and Ray Wincott, played by Lauren Graham (Evan Almighty, Bad Santa) and Thomas Haden Church (Easy A, Sideways), would take Max in and make him part of their family. Would they and their remaining son Justin, played by relative newcomer Josh Wiggins, want to have this dog in their house, reminding them of their tragic loss? This adventure family film won me over simply by having Max star in it. I was unfamiliar with this breed of dog, thinking Max was a German Shepherd mix. The script would have been stronger if it remained on the main story instead of going off with Kyle’s buddy. Also, I was quite aware I was being manipulated but still teared up because at the end of the day there is nothing like seeing a heroic dog.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Jurassic World
The clanking metal sound still reminded me of an anchor being pulled up ship. Looking over at the roller coaster I recalled how that first steep drop took my breath away; literally, I was so tensed up I forgot to breathe as we dropped into what felt like a free fall down the tracks. Today there would be no way I would go on that ride again. As I have gotten older I no longer find heights attractive. I did go on the virtual spaceship ride, noticing the seat seemed smaller with my knees now reaching the back of the seat in front of me. Though I still enjoyed the ride I knew now when to brace myself before the ship engaged in a pretend aerial dogfight in outer space. Walking through the amusement park that I had last visited years ago, I still enjoyed going on the rides and attractions. Some of the larger rides had been freshened up with new parts or simply just a coat of paint. There was one ride where the computer graphics finally looked futuristic compared to the ones they had previously. I think part of the fondness I still had for the park was the memories from my previous visits that accompanied me during the day. There was no need to run from ride to ride, I could take my time and be more selective since the surprise factor was gone for me. OVER twenty years have passed since the tragic ending to Jurassic Park. Updated and marketed to a new generation, Jurassic World park attendance had been strong. However market research had shown for the park to remain profitable it needed to come up with a bigger and better attraction to keep people coming back. Its newest attraction had something else in mind. This action adventure film had incredible special effects; the dinosaurs seemed like actual live creatures being filmed alongside the actors. Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy, Parks and Recreation-TV) as Owen and Bryce Dallas Howard (The Help, The Village) as Claire were the main characters, both did a good job. I did not mind any of the actors to tell you the truth, even though the script did not give them any room to grow; they were pretty much two dimensional. If you are not familiar with Jurassic Park, then I believe you will get more out of this science fiction film than I did. I found it predictable, especially when some scenes were similar to ones in the previous movie. With that being said, there is no doubt in my mind that you will find this picture fun to watch and even exciting in parts. It was marketed to be a summer blockbuster and it will succeed. Wait a second, wasn’t that the same marketing idea the park had for their newest attraction?
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Tomorrowland
I do not know if it was because I did not go at an early age and had more time to think about it, but I used to wonder what I would find in Tomorrowland when I finally got there. Besides the usual science fiction stuff like flying cars and robots, I thought of other things that could be in the park; I was not an average little boy. I wanted there to be no sadness or pain in Tomorrowland; everyone would be kind and accepting of everyone else. The opportunity to go there did not happen until a friend and me were legal adults. It was the first trip by airplane for both of us. When we arrived at the amusement park I was overwhelmed with all the images that I had only seen on television or in photographs come to life right before my eyes. We made our way through every attraction whether it was a roller coaster ride or stage show; we felt like little kids again. From one section to another we planned on experiencing it all over the course of 3 days. On the second day we had Tomorrowland on our to do list. As we followed the signs pointing to it, I was remembering all the things I imagined about the park when I was small. I was not expecting what I found when we reached our destination. Tomorrowland had a somewhat dated look to it; almost like a retro look from a decade or so ago. I was so confused by the things around me; this was nothing I imagined Tomorrowland would be. I felt the same about this action adventure film. Mysteriously appearing among Casey Newton’s, played by Britt Robertson (The Longest Ride, Dan in Real Life), things was a curious pin. When touched only by her, Casey ‘s surroundings would change into a futuristic world; she had to find out how and why she had this pin. Starring George Clooney (The Monuments Men, Up in the Air) as Frank Walker, Hugh Laurie (The Oranges, House M.D.-TV) as Nix and Raffey Cassidy (Dark Shadows, Snow White and the Huntsman) as Athena; this science fiction fantasy was so confusing to me, I could not even tell you what the story was about. Now I lived through Star Trek’s space-time continuum and could follow its logic; but this story made no sense to me. With all the money used for the great special effects, that was all this movie offered the viewer essentially. However, the writers wanted to make sure we understood the message they were trying to convey so it was repeated over and over to us. This was the 2nd time Tomorrowland disappointed me; I better focus on making each year better than the last. You can start by not paying full price for this confusing picture.
2 stars
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