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Flash Movie Review: Vampire Academy
It may only take one article of clothing, accessory, family member or friend and you get branded for life by your peers. A sweater you wore may have a spot or small hole that you did not notice, but someone else did and made the assumption you came from a poor family or even worse a dirty family. I have a watch that looks like an expensive, famous brand of timepiece. It always surprises me during a conversation with an unfamiliar person, when i catch them staring at my watch and their mannerisms do a slight shift towards me afterwards. I cannot explain it since I avoid dealing with people who only focus on the surface of an individual. Back in school I had a friend whose dad was a bus driver. I cannot tell you how many times other classmates would make comments about how his dad was Ralph Kramden (if this name is unfamiliar to you then look up Jackie Gleason) or he was the son of a bus driver. Not only did I not understand the reason for these kinds of comments, but I found them cruel. Well, evidently this same kind of labeling takes place among vampires. Lucy Fry (Lightning Point-TV) played Lissa Dragomir, the last vampire of a royal bloodline. After being out on her own in the real world she was forced to return to St. Vladimir’s academy for vampires with her best friend and protector Rose Hathaway, played by Zoey Deutch (Beautiful Creatures, Mayor Cupcake). She was not well received by some of the student body; in fact, some would rather have seen her dead. As if school was not hard enough already, Lissa found herself in the middle of a class struggle. This action fantasy was such a poor production; it screamed of being a Harry Potter and Twilight movie knockoff. The character Rose appeared to be jacked up on huge amounts of caffeine; her speech was more of a verbal blur to me. For the life of me I did not understand why Gabriel Byrne (The Usual Suspects, Miller’s Crossing) as Victor Dashkov and Joely Richardson (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Event Horizon) as Queen Tatiana were part of this film unless they both lost a bet with someone. The script provided nothing but poor dialog and goofy comments. There were so many opportunities to instill some excitement, tension, thought or even sentimental moments but none of that entered into this boring tale. I hope there are no plans to make a sequel. Though I mentioned I try not to label anyone based on their surface, I may have to reconsider when it comes to the director and writers of this silly vampire fantasy.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Lego Movie
It does not come with batteries nor does it need to run with any other power source. What I am referring to is our imagination and creativity. From the back porch of the 3rd floor apartment I grew up in, I could see to the end of the block. Each backyard was a different kingdom in my fantasy world. Taking empty plastic dishwasher bottles with their push-up tops, I would fill them up with water and they would become bombs I would use to protect my castle. When I had to go on a fact-finding mission, I would use the back alleys covered with gravel to cover my tracks. During these missions I would hold out a ballpoint pen at arm’s length, turning it into a spaceship that was protecting me from any enemy missiles. I could spend hours outside coming up with several activities that were fueled by my imagination; some incorporated my friends while others had to be done secretly by me. The creativity coming out of the writers’ imagination for this animated action comedy reminded me so much of my childhood. I believe everyone could relate to something in this fun film. Chris Pratt (Her, Wanted) voiced happy-go-lucky Emmet Brickowoski who loved everything he did in his structured life. One day an unusual misstep brought him in contact with Wyldstyle, voiced by Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games franchise, People Like Us), who mistakenly believed he was the chosen one to save the world from the evil Lord Business, voiced by Will Ferrell (Stranger Than Fiction, Step Brothers). The kaleidoscopic explosion of colors, rapid fire comments and crazy scenes kept me on my toes; in fact, I feel I need to see this movie again because I felt I was missing some of the details. I understand the cast did their recordings together instead of the usual way of each actor being by themselves in the recording booth. It made a difference in my opinion; there was a stronger fluidity to the verbal exchanges. Will Arnett (Blades of Glory, Arrested Development-TV) as Batman/Bruce Wayne, Liam Neeson (Schindler’s List, Taken franchise) as Bad Cop/Good Cop and Morgan Freeman (Million Dollar Baby, Now You See Me) as Vitruvius were just a few of the voices that stood out for me. There was so much that was good about this film that I do not feel I even have to tell you about the minor stuff. The bottom line for me was this movie took a familiar product and with a big dose of imagination provided me the opportunity to have a fun time while recalling some fond memories from my youth.
3 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: At Middleton
I do not know what it is about talking to a casual acquaintance or a stranger that enables people to open up about their feelings. There have been several occasions where a member from my class has divulged information of a more personal or intimate nature. I have heard of hairdressers being a personal confidant to their clients but I have not heard anything about fitness instructors. Possibly it may have to do with knowing there is a finite amount of time available or that I am not a member of the health club, just an instructor. From my own experiences I will say there is something about visiting a new place that for some reason makes me more comfortable talking to strangers. I have no problem sharing my feelings or thoughts to the point where it creates an immediate sense of intimacy. It just seems like the opposite way of doing things; where you would want to create that budding closeness with someone you know or are interested in, not a total stranger. I am sure I can dig inside of myself and talk about feeling less pressure or being unguarded due to the foreign surroundings; however, I will forgo adding more length to this review and just say I have experienced something similar to the story in this romantic comedy. Vera Farmiga (The Conjuring, Up in the Air) and her real life sister Taissa Farmiga (The Bling Ring, American Horror Story-TV) played mother and daughter Edith and Audrey Martin. Andy Garcia (The Untouchables, City Island) and newcomer Spencer Lofranco played father and son George and Conrad Hartman. During the college tour for their children, Edith and George found themselves on a different tour than the one their kids were on. I was fine with the setup for this film festival winning movie. The good acting was certainly a plus to the uneven script. The concept of two strangers spending the day together I got; but I thought some of the scenes were forced and somewhat ridiculous. An example would be the marijuana scene. There were some parts in the movie that were predictable, but since I was enjoying the acting I was a bit more forgiving. This does not have to be a movie you need to run out and see at the theater; waiting for the DVD would be good enough. Maybe because I have had a couple of long distance relationships in the past, this film was easier for me to digest.
2 1/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: That Awkward Moment
You know the exact moment when your friendship began to evolve. It was when you asked your friend about making plans to do something and they began their reply with the words, “Let me check with…” There was no malice, boastfulness or arrogance on your friend’s part; they were just telling you there was someone in their life who reached a new level of importance. This does not take anything away from your status with them, but understand your friend is now part of a couple. Now I will say I am aware of the division that sometimes forms between couples and singles like a sheer curtain rustling in front of an open window on a breezy day. I have been told that there are times where an even number of guests is more desirable for some than odd. Except for riding an amusement park ride, I never really understood why some people would think that way. You can see how a dating relationship may affect a friendship in this romantic comedy. Zac Efron (The Lucky One, 17 Again), Miles Teller (The Spectacular Now, Rabbit Hole) and Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station, Hardball) played best friends Jason, Daniel and Mikey. When Mikey’s girlfriend Vera, played by Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield, She’s the Man), told him she was breaking up with him, his two best friends promised they would stand by him and show him the ropes to being single again. I have to tell you after sitting through this film I was so thankful I did not have friends like these people. They were crude and immature for the most part or should I say at least their dialog was from the predictable script. The story seemed so formulaic; the three friends could be broken down to the smooth talking pretty one, the smart-alecky joker and the sensitive one. I will let you guess which one matches to which description. The only characters that seemed somewhat believable to me were Mikey and Chelsea, played by Mackenzie Davis (Smashed, Breathe In). If I had not seen the movie trailer to this film I might have been less bored than I was sitting in the movie theater. I did not find it a real portrayal of friends and the different things they were getting themselves involved in. Maybe this was due to my lack of having any friends who acted like these guys. For that I consider myself lucky and am grateful for it.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Damned United
I do not need to know how the beautiful baked dessert placed before me was made. All that matters to me is that it tastes as good as it looks with its dark chocolate syrup dripping down the sides of the spongy chocolate chip cake. The same can be said about the art exhibit I attended, where the artist created these incredible colorful sculptures out of blown glass. It was beyond me how he could take such a delicate medium and produce these exquisite pieces that were placed among the foliage of the local conservatory. Most of the time I prefer not knowing how something was created because I feel it takes away from the visceral experience. It would be similar to having prior knowledge of all the tricks and magical sequences a haunted house amusement park attraction has before you go through it. What fun would that be? This biographical comedic drama is a good example of me not being familiar with the subject, yet I still found this movie to be a highly entertaining experience. I had no idea what was English football. As I viewed this film I wondered if this sport was what here in the United States we call soccer. Michael Sheen (MIdnight in Paris, Twilight franchise) played abrasive, arrogant coach Brian Clough. The story was about the challenges that faced him when he took over the coaching duties from his bitter rival Don Revie, played by Colm Meaney (Law Abiding Citizen, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine-TV), who had taken the Leeds United football team and made them one of the most successful in the league. With Tom Hooper’s (Les Miserables, The King’s Speech) direction, I thought he did a fantastic job in keeping the story steady, letting the actors shine. I have been impressed with Michael Sheen’s body of work so far; this picture only continued it. Adding their specialness to the rest of the cast were Timothy Spall (Ginger & Rosa, Enchanted) as Peter Taylor and Jim Broadbent (Cloud Atlas, The Iron Lady) as Chairman Sam Longson. My only complaint about the film was the use of flashbacks; I had to remind myself of the time frame periodically. To tell you the truth the story was more about egos and personalities than about actual football games. For someone who had no knowledge about this sport, I still had a good time watching this DVD. An added bonus was researching the events of this film afterwards and learning more about the history of the sport. So not only was this an entertaining film, it taught me something new.
3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Impromptu
I agree that opposites attract is valid most of the time; however, sometimes it can be a real challenge. My friends were quite puzzled when I was in a relationship with a mathematician. In fact, they had a PhD degree in mathematics. Looking back I have to laugh at some of the conversations we used to have when we were in disagreement. Where they needed fact based information to make a decision, they were always perplexed when I would say things like “it feels right” or “that is how I feel.” How does one explain a feeling to a scientific mind? Suffice to say our different perspectives was the cleaver that finally severed our relationship. So here in this movie there were two individuals who were curious about each other; both passionate about their respective creative talents. This comedy was extra fun for me because it combined two of my favorite things besides movies: music and books. Judy Davis (Barton Fink, To Rome with Love) played writer Amandine Lucile Aurore Dupin aka George Sand. She was known to wear men’s clothing and smoke cigars, besides her romantic affairs with some prominent men; all which were quite outrageous back in the early 1800s. Upon hearing rapturous music being played on the piano by composer Frederic Chopin, played by Hugh Grant (About a Boy, Music and Lyrics), George was determined to meet this man whose music was speaking directly to her heart. Unfortunately former lovers and friends had different ideas for them. This biographical film was enjoyable on multiple levels. Seeing a young Emma Thompson (Saving Mr. Banks, Sense and Sensibility) play Duchess D’Antan, Mandy Patinkin (The Princess Bride, Criminal Minds-TV) as Alfred De Musset and Bernadette Peters (The Jerk, Annie) as Maria D’Agoult was amusing to me. The acting from the whole cast was solidly cohesive. I have to tell you I liked the retro look to the whole film. What I mean is the use of actual film to shoot the picture and on location in France without any type of special effects. Of course it was understandable since the movie was made over 20 years ago. Being familiar with the works of Chopin and Franz Liszt, played by Julian Sands (The Killing Sands, Leaving Las Vegas), I found the connection between my own knowledge of these historic figures and the characterizations of them in this musical film a crazy juxtaposition. This comedy would not only work for those who have a strong creative side but to those with a dominant scientific mind.
3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: The Nut Job
One of the best objects for motivation is food. It does not necessarily have to be a comfort type of food like cookies or ice cream; could be a sandwich or a piece of fruit. During the week food is the escalator that helps me get through the day. If I am having a stressful time at the office I know it will not last long because I have set up an oasis where I will be taking in some food at a certain time. I may not want to go jogging on Sunday but I know if I want to treat myself to a chocolate chip cookie later, I have to go running now. There are certain foods I will eat simply because I want them to continue a memory I cherish. The smell of cinnamon quickly brings to mind cookies my mother used to bake, where the dough had to be rolled out and cut with heart and diamond shaped cookie cutters. Just before the cookies were put into the oven they would get sprinkled with a combination of cinnamon and sugar. Whether there is an absence or abundance of food it still can be a big motivator as this animated movie will show you. Will Arnett (When in Rome, Blades of Glory) voiced Surly, a squirrel who only looked out for himself in a park filled with other animals. After being banished by the park’s dominant animal the raccoon, voiced perfectly by Liam Neeson (The Grey, Taken franchise), Surly tried to survive in a city filled with humans, where he was to discover something that could change everything for all the animals back in the park. I understood the moral message the writers were trying to convey in this adventure comedy, though it was a weak effort. Part of the issue was creating a story and film to cover everyone’s tastes; it was too much and too predictable. There was no humor for adults, spending way too much time on flatulence jokes. The voices of Katherine Heigl (Life as We Know It, Grey’s Anatomy-TV) as Andie and Brendan Fraser (The Mummy franchise, Bedazzled) as Grayson easily lent themselves to a cartoon character; but I did not find much excitement among the majority of the players. Compared to other animated films I have seen, this one was not much fun to watch. All I kept thinking about during most of the movie was what I would eat for lunch when I got home. There were a couple of extra scenes in the middle and end of the credits.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ride Along
It could start with what appears to be a simple look between siblings, but you know there is more behind the momentarily locked glance. You have been sitting at the restaurant table all this time wanting to eliminate your bladder but you refuse to excuse yourself from the table, leaving the siblings alone to talk about you. The reason is you have been in a relationship for a few months and today is the day you are meeting the sister for the very first time and you know what that means. I do not care what anyone says but one of the hardest parts of dating someone new is meeting family members or the best friend for the first time. Sure they may tell me this will be a friendly get together but I know better; the family member or friend is coming in to offer their assessment of me as potential partner material. I will never forget meeting a date’s 14 year old daughter, who did not make eye contact with me once during the first 2 courses of the meal. It was not until dessert, when the subject turned to current music, that she looked at me in amazement with my familiarity of current music. Little did I know that teaching aerobics would provide me with this extra benefit for my get together. Seeking sibling approval was the premise for this action comedy. Kevin Hart (Grudge Match, This is the End) played security guard and hopeful police cadet, Ben Barber who was hoping to get the blessing from Atlanta policeman James Payton, played by Ice Cube (21 Jump Street, Barbershop), to marry his sister Angela, played by Tika Sumpter (Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas, Salt). The only way James would accept Ben is if he could survive one day riding with James while on duty. If you like Kevin’s style of humor then you might enjoy this picture better than I did. I do not consider Kevin an actor since I have now seen him in a few films and see no difference between him in concert or portraying a character in a movie; he is always the same. Ice Cube has some acting ability but in this movie he predominately gave a variety of mean looking scowls. The movie trailers already showed a majority of the humorous parts; the only aspect missing were the few action scenes. There was nothing very original here. If you want my opinion, consider taking public transportation and avoid going on this ride along.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Bad Teacher
Two days prior to watching this movie I had to complete an advanced abuse prevention training for one of the health facilities. The subjects I reviewed did not surprise me; it was remembering things I witnessed during my school years and how they would be so unacceptable now. How many of you remember a teacher keeping a student after class or having a pupil sitting alone with an instructor in a room for detention. According to the training module I read it is no longer acceptable, unless there is easy visibility for other individuals to see the teacher and student. I can go down a list of my teachers and find many who would be considered violators now, besides being inappropriate back then. There was one teacher who periodically would be drunk in class; his face turning bright red as he slurred his words. There was another teacher who was living with one of their former students. Oh and how could I forget the teacher who would throw a ball at their students’ heads to get their attention? If you combine all of my teachers together as one, I am not sure they would be the worst teacher ever compared to the bad teacher in this comedy. Cameron Diaz (Gangs of New York, There’s Something About Mary) played Elizabeth Halsey; who after being dumped by her wealthy fiance was forced to teach at a middle school. Her motivation had nothing to do with the students; instead it was how quickly she could get money to pay for her breast augmentation procedure. I enjoyed Cameron in this role and thought she was outrageous, doing a decent job. The other teachers were too much like cartoon characters, such as Lucy Punch (Hot Fuzz, Stand Up Guys) as Amy Squirrel and Phyllis Smith (Butter, The Office-TV) as Lynn Davies. Surprisingly I thought Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Muppets) was not used enough as PE instructor Russell Gettis and Justin Timberlake’s (In Time, Runner Runner) character was just weird. This award winning movie was crude in parts, but there were a couple of chuckle worthy scenes. I did not find the ending satisfying with the change that took place. Overall watching this film would be a harmless activity, unlike having to be a student at this school.
2 1/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Cold Turkey
There is a saying, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” that is used when one is referring to similar characteristics or personality traits between generations of family members. Examples of this could be your father was thrifty and you became thrifty. Another example would be you and your mother both being charitable individuals. I knew someone whose mother was over dramatic, just like one of those silent screen movie stars who used exaggerated gestures to convey their feelings. The more she complained about her mother the more I would have to quietly chuckle to myself because she was just like her mother; she just did not realize it. Everything she did had to be over the top, where it was either the hardest thing she had to do or it was the absolute best. There was no middle ground with her, only extremes. The ultimate example was at her wedding where her mother tried to outshine her by wearing a designer dress and a collection of jewelry that made one squint anytime you had to look at her. All I could wonder was whether my friend would continue this parental rivalry with her future children. In this comedic drama the Turner family came together for the holidays, bringing along their secrets and repressed feelings. Alicia Witt (Two Weeks Notice, 88 Minutes) played estranged daughter Nina, who had not seen her family in 15 years. Director and actor Peter Bogdanovich (Paper Moon, Queen of the Lot) played patriarch Poppy Turner, who had remarried and was living with his 2nd wife Deborah, played by Cheryl Hines (The Ugly Truth, Curb Your Enthusiasm-TV). Having seen a slew of movies that dealt with all kinds of family dynamics, I was curious to see how this story would be different. There was enough situations in place to create a minefield of emotional explosions, having Nina and her sister Lindsey, played by Sonya Walger (All the King’s Men, Lost-TV), being the children of the 1st wife and the half brother Jacob, played by Ashton Holmes (A History of Violence, Wind Chill), being the son of the 2nd wife. However, there was nothing in this film that had not been examined before. I thought the acting was awful and the script bland and generic; causing me to be bored most of the time. The exception was a couple of scenes that surprised me. If the characters in this movie mean something to the people who thought them up, then all I can say is the writers need to find a different family.
1 2/3 stars
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