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Flash Movie Review: Underwater

IT ONLY TOOK ME 4 MUSICAL NOTES and I knew what song was playing. I was sitting in the lobby of the hotel and above the din of people coming and going around me, I heard those notes that were barely audible. Getting up from my rather comfortable chair, I followed the sound of music to see where it was coming from. As I made my way through the massive passageway, I found a lounge/bar off to the side. There were small tables for 2 to 4 people everywhere I looked; it was a large space. Up on the stage, I could not believe what I was seeing, it appeared as if it was one of my favorite Motown acts performing. The singers were all dressed in matching blue suits as they took turns singing parts of the song, when they were not harmonizing. As I went to an empty table, I got closer to the stage. It was obvious to me none of the performers were original members of the group. Heck, I knew that as soon as I came up to the entrance because they were all way too young looking. How many decades had passed already? Their voices were good and did sound like the original guys from the group. As for their dance moves, let me say it would have been better if they just stood behind their mic stands and step side to side.      AS I SAT AND LISTENED TO THEM, memories came back that were attached to some of the songs they sang. I remember with one song I was dancing at a relative’s wedding; another song, the first time I played it in class I saw the members start to bop their heads to the rhythm of the music. It was an amusing site as we were all working out. My memories were playing the original music, but what the men on stage were singing sounded more like an imitation. Not that it was bad, it just wasn’t the same. If any of the men were displaying some serious musical capabilities, matching or being better than the originals artists, the show would have been amazing. However, their vocal range was limited; some of the high notes were a strain for them or they simply lowered the octave. I gave them credit for being able to get the gig and perform at one of the hotel’s lounge areas. Though they were not the original group it was still enjoyable for me to sit and listen to them. That is more than what I can say about this action, dramatic horror wannabe.      AFTER WHAT APPEARED TO BE AN EARTHQUAKE damaged their drilling station, the crew would have to find a way to make it up to the surface of the ocean they were under. However, something did not want them to leave. With Kristen Stewart (Charlie’s Angels, Personal Shopper) as Norah, Jessica Henwick (Dragonfly, Game of Thrones-TV) as Emily, Vincent Cassel (Black Swan, Eastern Promises) as Captain, TJ Miller (Deadpool franchise, Cloverfield) as Paul Abel and John Gallagher Jr (Short Term 12, Jonah Hex) as Liam; this movie felt like it was trying to be the film Alien, except instead of space it was taking place underwater. I give Kristen credit for trying her best at being an action figure, but the script was incapable of providing any thrills or excitement. The dialog was written in a generic way, using typical exclamations. I thought the filming was dull for the most part, which being underwater I understood. However, the constant dark murkiness did nothing for me. If you have not seen Alien or its sequels, you might find this picture of interest. For the rest of us, I suggest you do not take the bait and find yourself sinking into an abyss.

 

1 ¾ stars  

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