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Flash Movie Review: Meet the Blacks

I try very hard to keep a barrier in my daily life between the real world and my fantasy one. It can be hard to accomplish at times due partially to the vast amount of movies I have seen. One of the reasons is because there have been instances where my real life has mirrored something I have seen in a film. Before you say that sounds like a cool thing to experience I have to tell you, though it has felt that way at times, there have been moments where it was not a pleasant situation. There was the wedding I attended where the parents of the bride and groom had a fight at the reception causing the bride to run out of the room and go sit in a bathroom stall, crying her eyes out. Another time I was driving on a highway when I saw a car spin out of control that started a chain reaction of accidents. Of course for every negative experience I have encountered I also have found a pleasant one. I vividly remember the time while I was standing in a long line for an amusement park ride I spotted a stranger and as they turned around to look at me everyone else disappeared into the background just like the gymnasium scene from West Side Story. So you see there are pluses and minuses to living a life filled with movie excerpts. It would be special if I was able to pick and choose the film genres, wouldn’t it? I will tell you I certainly would not freely choose a horror story like the one that appeared in this comedy.   LEAVING Chicago for Beverly Hills Carl Black, played by Mike Epps (The Hangover franchise, Resident Evil franchise), hoped to make a better life for his wife Lorena, played by Zulay Henao (Takers, Boy Wonder), and his children. Unfortunately once the family settled into their new place they soon would become part of a horror story. This comedy had a curious premise of incorporating a story line similar to a recent horror film franchise. I actually liked the idea however it was the script that was horrific. The repeat use of curse and derogatory words is something I have never found to be funny. As for the humor I found very little of it in this comedic spoof. It was weird for me to sit through this film because at first I thought the story was the same as an old television show called, “The Beverly Hillbillies.” It was about a poor family that struck oil on their land and moved to a mansion with a cement pond. But then the story shifted to horror and what I mean by horror were scenes of blood and violence. There was plenty of horror for me just by sitting in my seat through this whole picture so I could write my review. I hope you never find yourself in a situation similar to what took place with me in the theater and this movie.


1 1/2 stars   




Flash Movie Review: A Haunted House

Laughter is an oil change for a person’s mind and body. There is nothing like laughter to blow away any clouds that have formed in the mind or to release the tightened tissues of the body. Every day I try to find humor in my daily life. Whether it comes out of a profound or ridiculous situation, there usually is a laugh or two to be found. In this movie the humor was expected by spoofing horror films, such as Paranormal Activity. There is nothing wrong to laugh at something silly; I laughed at a couple of scenes in this comedy. Marlon Wayans (Scary Movie franchise, White Chicks) played the boyfriend Malcolm. A big moment was taking place in his life when his girlfriend Kisha, played by Essence Atkins (Dysfunctional Friends, Are We There Yet?), decided to move in with him. Once she arrived things started happening that Malcolm was not expecting. Setting up a house security camera system, the couple hoped to get to the bottom of the unexpected occurrences. This witless movie was mindless. I can appreciate a bawdy (who says that these days?) or body function joke; but after one of them, they lose their shock value for me. As soon as a scene was set, it was obvious where the gag was about to happen. Even casting Cedric the Entertainer (Larry Crowne, Cadillac Records) as Father Williams was mild relief to the monotony. There was nothing original written into the screenplay. Haven’t we already been exposed to most jokes about flatulence or copulation? I am not this curmudgeon sitting in his theater seat, with a flashlight and billy club, ready to pounce on any offenders who are not following my movie theater rules of etiquette. However, this film was rated R and I want to know what the parents in the theater were thinking by bringing their young children to this movie. I just want to scream, “If you cannot afford a babysitter then stay home and read a book to your kids.”  The biggest joke to be found is buying a ticket to see this stale movie.


1 2/3 stars

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