Author Archives: moviejoltz
Flash Movie Review: The Collection
The first clue on whether a film will be good or not is when the movie studio does not release it for critics to review. It is not because the editing department was trying to clear up a fuzzy looking scene or the sound department wanted to dub in a better sounding scream; the studio wants to make a quick buck before film reviewers bury the picture. Since I do not want to disappoint any of my followers, let me say I took a bullet for you by seeing this atrocious film. Not being my favorite genre and not realizing it was a sequel, I at least expected to be scared. On the contrary, I found nothing surprising or suspenseful in this movie. You may be asking yourself how I would know if I do not usually attend screenings of horror movies. The answer would be I at least can experience suspense and tension on a physcial level and this bloody film did not provide it. What it did offer was enough blood to shut down the American Red Cross for a month and enough dead bodies to keep a tristate region of universities stocked with cadavers for several semesters. Emma Fitzpatrick (The Social Network, In Time) played Elena, a daddy’s girl who sneaked out of the house one night. You know what that meant; she had to be the victim for going against the wishes of her father, played by Christopher McDonald (Requiem for a Dream, Happy Gilmore). Josh Stewart (The Dark Knight Rises, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) reprised his role of Arkin, the only individual who knew where the killer set up shop. Surprisingly I liked the elaborate contraptions created to capture and kill innocent victims; they would make Rube Goldberg proud. Rounding out the cast was the muscle guy, the woman of ethnic background, the character of unknown allegiance and several easily disposable actors. In conclusion I will just say this movie was so bad, I did not get upset with the guy next to me who kept texting throughout the film.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Roxanne
An act of cruelty to me is when someone discards a person based on their looks. I have experienced it both professionally and personally. At a health fair where I was a presenter, a participant left after my introductions. Physically I am not a chiseled, large muscled human found in fitness magazines. On a personal level, I have experienced blind dates that lasted under 15 minutes. Was there food stuck in my teeth or an odor wafting off of me I was not aware of? It has always puzzled me when someone gets judged solely on their outer appearance. This dilemma was humorously handled in this sweet comedy. The story was an updated version of the classic novel Cyrano de Bergerac. Steve Martin (It’s Complicated, The Jerk) wrote the screenplay and starred as fire chief C.D. Bales. The lovable chief was sensitive about his unusually large nose. Though he agreed to help his new employee Chris, played by Rick Rossovich (The Terminator, Pacific Blue), woo astronomer Roxanne, played by Daryl Hannah (Splash, Kill Bill: Vol. 1), C.D. secretly had a crush on her. How could he compete against the strapping big fireman for Roxanne’s affections? Could she ever see past his nose? The way the story played out with humor and gentleness, made for an enjoyable time. The cast did an exceptional job with their characters, including Shelley Duvall (The Shining, Annie Hall) as Dixie and Michael T. Pollard (Bonnie & Clyde, Scrooged) as Andy. More than a light hearted romp; I felt this film was a wonderful testament for anyone who has held themselves back from taking a chance, solely due to the fear of what people will think of their looks. Allow me to share with you something I have always told my friends: The body is rented, changing every day. It is constantly gaining and losing things; but, what takes place inside of it is the important stuff.
2 3/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Chasing Ice
Perched at the edge of the railing all we could see was the ocean’s slow rolling exhale along its surface. Walls of cold white ice surrounded us as they tried catching our eyes with a spark of reflective bright sunshine. In the still quiet I heard the sound of something cracking. It grew louder into an echoing rumble. Before me I saw a huge slab of white wall snap apart and slide into the ocean below, leaving a trail of icy crumbs. This was the experience I had in Glacier Bay, Alaska; witnessing the calving of a glacier. The idea that I may never see this part of nature again saddens me. Watching this documentary was breathtaking. I am a product of the creative left side of my brain working in tandem with the scientific right side; as I result, I had a deeper appreciation for the way this film handled the subject matter. National Geographic photographer James Balog founded the Extreme Ice Survey in 2007. Its mission has been to record the shrinkage of glaciers. There are 34 cameras stationed at 16 glaciers, taking photographs every hour year round. In this movie there was amazing, exquisite footage of James’ hiking along several glaciers, looking for the perfect setting for a photo shoot. As a visual experience I was enthralled seeing places I would never have the opportunity to visit on my own. Helping James in his endeavors were Svavar Jonatansson and Adan LeWinter. Director Jeff Orlowski did an admirable job just based on the working conditions alone. Once the photographs were compiled into a time-lapsed video it was startling to see the change in the glaciers’ sizes. There was no political agenda being fostered on the viewer; in fact, James used to be a skeptic of global warming. This film festival winner left me and the other viewers in the theater stunned. Something so simple as taking a picture made a profound impact on all of us.
3 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Mozart’s Sister
First born children are revered in some cultures, while the number of children is important in others. For some parents it matters if their child is male or female and then there are couples who do not want any children. I have been a witness to parents favoring one child over another, oblivious to their actions. Then there is the whole realm of sibling rivalry. Gratefully I never experienced it since I was much younger than my brothers. To this day I remember when my nephew talked about an acquaintance of his, who was a top fashion model with a twin sister. He said you would think the twin sister was beautiful until her model twin walked into the room and then you would pay no attention to the other. I wondered how she handled her sister’s fame and looks. I know this film had to take major liberties to make a “good” story for the viewer, but I still enjoyed it. Marie Feret (L’enfant du pays, Madame Solario) played Maria Anna “Naneri” Mozart, the older sister to Wolfgang, played by newcomer David Moreau. A gifted musician and composer in her own right, her father favored Wolfgang. She just wanted some recognition for her abilities. Traveling to the royal courts of Europe Leopold Mozart, played by Marc Marbe (Calm at Sea, La Vie en Rose), put his boy prodigy on display for everyone to marvel, with Naneri left to be her brother’s accompanist. I was intrigued by the story, imagining what life must have been like for both children. Spending days in a horse drawn coach, through all kinds of weather, just to be exhibited like a circus act; it had to be grueling on some level. There was also the issue of gender roles to consider based on what was shown in this movie. What would have happened if Naneri was born male; how would that have changed the dynamics? The film was flawed but entertaining nonetheless. I found the ending abrupt and unsatisfying. However, it was interesting to see what factors place us into our station in life. French with English subtitles.
2 1/2 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Killing Them Softly
Here is a film that movie critics can sit down and discuss among themselves into the early hours of dawn. They can debate the merits on using slow motion photography for an execution scene versus the quick kill method or any other such topic. Since I see myself more as a consumer instead of a reviewer; I have to say from where I was sitting no one in the theater cared. We just wanted to be entertained. Judging by the amount of people who kept getting in and out of their seats, I think they were finding better entertainment at the concession stands. Have you ever read a restaurant review that made you immediately go to that place, with bib attached, only to find out the meal was nothing like the review? This is how I felt sitting in the theater. With such a powerful set of actors, I thought I was going to see a rugged intense crime film. Instead I was bored, wondering what kind of black magic was used to turn scenes into lengthy debates that sucked the life out of the actors. In the movie’s favor there were some scenes that shined; but they were few and far between. Based on George V. Higgins’ novel Cogan’s Trade, Brad Pitt (Fight Club, Moneyball) was the enforcer Jackie Cogan, brought in to clean up after a mob controlled gambling place was robbed by a couple of petty thieves. Jackie hired former big time hit man Mickey, played by James Gandolfini (Welcome to the Rileys, The Sopranos-TV), to help him out. If the obscenities were eliminated from James’ lines he would have been speechless. As good as Ray Liotta (Identity, Smokin’ Aces) was as gambling host Markie Trattman, that is how bad Richard Jenkins (The Cabin in the Woods, The Visitor) was as the mob’s spokesman. Sadly, this movie was a waste of good talent and time. Violent scenes with blood.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Nature of Existence
For whatever reason, I never gave much thought to the how and why humans exist. If anything, I always thought I was an accident since my two brothers were eleven and eight years older than me. The big joke I used to tell my friends in defense of my thinking was saying, after having to deal with my graffiti spraying, story telling brothers; my mother waited eight years and decided she wanted to continue the madness by having me. I know each religion has their own definition on the nature of existence. Some believe in the ashes to ashes, dust to dust way of thinking; others believe in reincarnation. I only know there is no right answer or wrong answer. In this documentary, director Roger Nygard (Trekkies, Suckers) traveled the globe interviewing religious leaders, spiritual figureheads, scholars, artists and scientists among others, to seek out answers to some of life’s profound questions. Before you think this documentary sounds heavy and ponderous, let me tell you it was nothing like it. Roger handled the scenes with a light, humorous spin; keeping the story moving forward. Maybe an easier way of describing this documentary would be to say some of you should think of it as the CliffsNotes for religion; to others it can be thought of as Religion for Dummies book. Personally, I found this an interesting film. My curiosity with other cultures was piqued by the different locales and variety of interviewees. Can I say I found the answers to the meaning of life, to my existence from this movie? The answer would be no; however, I did gain a deeper understanding of people’s beliefs and reaffirm my own belief that there is no such thing as a right or wrong religion.
2 2/3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Red Dawn
Everything in this action movie such as explosions, gun battles and chases would be ideal if they were all in a video game. If only the armrests had been equipped with joysticks I would have had something to do…like blowing up the entire town on the movie screen. I cannot believe someone at the movie studio sat down and tossed out the idea of doing a remake of a movie that was average at best. And then someone actually replied in the affirmative, offering an updated spin on the original story is mind blowing. In this new version, sections of the United States were taken over in a surprise attack by North Korean forces. On leave, marine Jed Eckert, played by Chris Hemsworth (The Avengers, Snow White and the Huntsman), headed up a group of local teenagers (trust me I am not making this up) to take on the enemy. Josh Peck (The Wackness, What Goes Up) who played Jed’s younger brother Matt, went through this movie in a near catatonic state or maybe he thought he was acting. I still am perplexed why Chris Hemsworth took this role, along with Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games, The Kids are All Right) as Robert Kitner and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Possession, The Losers) as Tanner. The dialog was dreadful, both corny and cliched. Not being a fan of the shaky camera filming effect, I was just annoyed with it here. As for the story it was looney. The idea of this band of kids taking on the North Koreans after they just outsmarted all of the United States’ defenses, was crazy. One would have thought Chris with The Avengers and Josh with The Hunger Games would have made enough money to allow them the luxury of being more selective in their choice of movie roles. A more suitable title for this film would have been Real Dull.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Handsome Harry
Guilt is that off colored shadow that quietly attaches itself to your future decisions. It can be the insidious force that feeds on your insecurities as it devours your organs. There are people who can tame their guilt with the deliverance of forgiveness; I wish it could be that easy. It takes a large amount of work for me to let go of guilt. On the other hand, I have had better success in being forgiving though my percentages are not high. This dramatic film presented an interesting character study on the topic of guilt and forgiveness. The impressive cast swayed me to this DVD. Thomas Kelley’s, played by Steve Buscemi (Fargo, The Big Lebowski), dying wish was to be forgiven. In order for that to happen, Kelley and his old naval buddies would have to break their code of silence and revisit painful memories from over 30 years ago. Jamey Sheridan (The Ice Storm, Syriana) played conflicted naval friend Harry Sweeney, who took Kelley’s wish to heart. Carrying out the wish meant Harry having to locate the others from their group: Peter Reems and Professor Porter, played by John Savage (The Deer Hunter, Hair) and Aidan Quinn (Unknown, Sarah’s Key). For the most part the story was interesting though predictable in places. A series of flashbacks were used to give the viewer hints of the guys’ naval past. The actors performed well with what they were given, though I found a couple of the scenes unrealistic. As for guilt and forgiveness, I felt the writer and director handled it in a believable and even way. When I was done with the DVD I experienced no guilt for spending my time sitting and watching this intriguing film.
2 1/2 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Hitchcock
Executives of sanitation and water plants could not explain the sudden drop in water usage. There were many people walking around with a musty smell and slightly unpolished look. Hotel employees were perplexed in the sudden cancellation of room reservations. Well, maybe things were not that bad; however, you cannot tell me there were not a lot of people who thought twice about taking a shower, after they saw the movie Psycho. I remember the first time I saw this movie and how my heart raced. When a film is considered a classic, I enjoy hearing the back story on how forces came together to create such a great movie. This was one of the reasons I wanted to see this film, along with Anthony Hopkins’ (Thor, Proof) performance as famed director Alfred Hitchcock. When the story focused on the birth of Psycho it was fascinating. Even with all the success Hitchcock had with the movie studio, they balked at his plans, refusing to finance the project. I got a kick out of all the tidbits surrounding the filming process. It was fun to see Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation, The Avengers) and James D’Arcy (W.E., Cloud Atlas) playing Janet Leigh and Anthony Perkins. In some scenes Anthony Hopkins was believable as Hitchcock; but at times, it seemed as if he slipped out of character and the makeup was odd. For me, the star of this movie was Helen Mirren (The Last Station, The Debt) as Alfred’s wife Alma Reville. I had no idea, if the story here is true, that she was as influential as she was portrayed. The problem I had was when the story veered off the making of Psycho and delved into the relationship Alma and Alfred had, it did not make for a cohesive story line. I appreciated the things I learned from this interesting movie; I just wished it had been more.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Stolen
The heart is a resilient muscle. It has the ability to heal from an emotional wound. No matter how many scars it may have, the heart will always let you know how it feels. The one exception would be when the individual does not have closure. Without that closure the heart remains in a wounded state, always reminding the person of its pain. Though I have experienced a broken heart, I never had to deal with the tragic horror the couple in this dramatic mystery were living. It had been several years with police detective Tom Adkins Sr., played by Jon Hamm (The Town, Friends with Kids) and his wife Barbara, played by Rhona Mitra (Shooter, The Number 23), no closer in finding out the circumstances behind the disappearance of their son Tom Jr. With the strain weighing particularly heavy on Officer Adkins, he could not let go and move on. When the remains of a little boy were found from a 50 year old grave, little did Tom know his detective work on the remains would result in a clue to his son’s case. This movie surprised me for a couple of reasons. First, it had a strong cast with the addition of Jessica Chastain (The Help, Lawless) as Sally Ann, Josh Lucas (Sweet Home Alabama, A Beautiful Mind) as Matthew Wakefield and James Van Der Beak (The Rules of Attraction, Dawson’s Creek-TV) as Diploma/Roggiani. Second, the way the director blended the current events into the story behind the 50 year old remains kept my attention. With the older story, the sepia toned scenes made for seamless transitions between past and current time. In spite of several scenes that did not work for me, this film was a moving tale that touched my heart.
2 1/2 stars — DVD
moviejoltz 