Flash Movie Review: Dirty Grandpa
The first time I saw a warning label printed on a product, I remember thinking why would anyone want to buy something that could harm them. It was a pack of cigarettes, I recall. The other item I remember were those plastic bags that dry cleaners used to wrap customers’ freshly laundered clothing. Today it seems as if almost everything comes with some type of warning. Some of them make sense like the ones regarding medicine and over the counter drugs. I am someone who wants to know if a drug is going to make me sleepy or loopy. Recently I bought a hot air popcorn popper and there was a warning not to submerge the base of it in water because it could be an electrical hazard. Ok, that makes sense to me. Now there are some product warnings I have seen where I think the manufacturer must be assuming the person buying their product has no common sense. Shouldn’t everyone know to lift up a hot pot by its handles? I absolutely understand companies are afraid they will get sued, but doesn’t the consumer bear some of the responsibility? Wasn’t there something in the news about a person taking legal action against a fast food chain because the hot coffee filled cup they placed between their legs, while driving out of the drive thru, spilled and burned their legs? Regarding movies, each of them comes with a rating which in a way is like a warning about the content of that particular film. None of the current ratings explain the warning one needs before seeing this comedy. HAVING recently buried his wife Dick Kelly, played by Robert De Niro (Joy, Being Flynn), convinced his soon to be married grandson Jason, played by Zac Efron (Neighbors, That Awkward Moment), to take him on a road trip. Their trip would reveal many new surprises. I want to know how the cast which also included Zoey Deutch (Beautiful Creatures, Ringer-TV) as Shadia, Aubrey Plaza (Safety Not Guaranteed, Life After Beth) as Lenore and Julianne Hough (Safe Haven, Footloose) as Meredith could do any type of press tour and not be embarrassed by this movie. This was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. The script was vulgar, crude, obnoxious and offensive; I could go on. It is astounding that these actors agreed to do this picture, especially Robert De Niro. Sure he can do comedy but why would he set himself up for ridicule. I guarantee you when the time comes to do a tribute to him; this movie will not be included in any of the film clips of his past roles. In regards to Zac, it seemed to me as if he counted on his looks more than his limited acting skills. This movie needed a warning label so innocent people would not spend their money and unwittingly let the studio know it is okay to make a crappy film.
1 star
Flash Movie Review: Moonwalkers
I was a window washer, a singer, a soldier, a mayor, an explorer and a spaceman. My imagination knew no boundaries when I pretended to be someone else. As far as I can tell, a vivid imagination is a vital component to the well-being of a growing child. I am sure all of us at one time play acted, becoming anything we wanted to be. It was so innocent back then in our childhood, too bad some individuals cannot keep that innocence in their adult life. There have been news stories about people who pretend to be high powered financiers, convincing innocent people to part with their money for huge gains they can attain with the help of the financier. It turns out these finance people were working a Ponzi scheme. I know this example is just one of many since there are all kinds of stories about someone impersonating someone else for their own gain. Now this pretending thing is not just exclusive to individuals; there have been some operations set up just to scam larger amounts of people. I remember reading about a so called pharmaceutical company that was selling placebos of the actual drugs patients required. On the flip side of this, what really blows my mind are the individuals who believe certain historical events never really occurred; that it was all made up. With the technology we have at our disposal today I am sure any group of people can create almost anything they want and just post it online. Can you imagine if you discovered something you thought was true was not? CONCERNED the astronauts of the Apollo 11 mission would not make it to the moon; CIA agent Kidman, played by Ron Perlman (Hellboy franchise, The Job), was sent to London to get director Stanley Kubrick to stage and film a pretend moon landing. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances agent Kidman was stuck with rock band manager Jonny, played by Rupert Grint (Harry Potter franchise, Driving Lessons), to create a video of the first moon landing. This comedy had a fun idea as its premise. When you think about it this could have been plausible since who would be able to say no among the general public. I thought it was comical that the government wanted Stanley Kubrick to direct. The beginning of this film was enjoyable as the set designers and costumers correctly got the time period. As the story continued I realized the humor was not hitting the mark; there was a disconnect of tired scenes that seemed like they were copies of past better ones. Maybe the additional story lines burdened the original idea because I felt things were just going crazy. Besides I did not feel there was any chemistry between the actors and to be honest, I felt a little sad for Rupert. The writer’s imagination was in the right place, it just was not executed in the best of ways.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Nine Queens
It is getting harder and harder not to turn into a cynic these days. Before the internet (boy, don’t I sound older than dirt) it was easier to believe the things people were saying were true. Not that there weren’t criminal elements throughout society; let us say there were less tools of the trade for a criminal to use to scam someone. Though I believe everyone is born with good and bad tendencies, I lean more towards the thought people are telling me the truth. My reasoning is to look at what they are saying and wonder what gain would come from them lying to me. As you can imagine I have been burned in the past, gratefully at very little loss. There have been people I know who were taken by scam artists and do you know what one of the saddest remarks has been for them to agree with the transaction? “They had a nice face” or “They were so polite” are excuses I have heard. Personally I have always had issues about judgements being made based on a person’s appearance. Whether a person is perceived to be pretty or not should have no bearing on a person’s character. Besides, what is the definition of pretty or handsome? What one person finds beautiful another person may find ugly. So now with the internet as a major part of our lives, criminally minded individuals can be whatever they want to be or what the victim wants them to be. How scary is that? For everyone, but especially those of you who were born after the internet, take a look at how the characters worked their trade in this crime thriller. JUAN, played by Gaston Pauls (Nuts for Love, Iluminados por el Fuego), had that innocent looking face that would fit perfectly into Marcos’, played by Ricardo Darin (The Secret in Their Eyes, Son of the Bride), scheme to sell counterfeit stamps. This film festival winning drama was an absolute twisted, wild ride written and directed by Fabian Bielinsky (The Aura, Sleepwalker). Though these were con artists one could not help but follow them throughout this film with its multiple stories. I thought the acting was terrific as the actors were able to be totally serious yet deliver some sly and wicked humor. Including Leticia Bredice (Burnt Money, The One-TV) as Valerie, I enjoyed the way the story and everyone in it were like jigsaw puzzle pieces that were attempting to fit into spots before finding their correct places. At one point I felt scenes were bordering on being unrealistic but it became a passing thought because I was getting deeper into following the story. On one level one could be horrified about witnessing a crime taking place; but on the other hand, this movie was meant to entertain and it did. Just reading the synopsis about this picture doesn’t convey how fun it was to watch this DVD. Spanish was spoken with English subtitles.
3 1/3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi
A switch gets turned on and the lights go on. A simple procedure that requires little movement and truthfully not much thought. The only time I think about it is when a lightbulb burns out. This action of little effort disguises the massive coordination needed to get the power to my home, through the house to the lamp. Fortunately I live in a place that has been reliable for the most part, except for when we have had violent storms. Every month I send a payment to the energy company for the use of their electricity, but I do not have much awareness on where or how the company acquires their energy for sale. I imagine the amount of people involved is staggering; whether it involves coal miners, nuclear technicians or service personnel who maintain solar panels and windmills, the mechanics of it all have to be precise and efficient. As I said, luckily for the most part things work smoothly here for me. Can you imagine if things did not? The chaos that would ensue would be monumental, effecting thousands or millions of people. Presently a city in Michigan is going through a crisis regarding their water system. For the little I know about it, the situation was caused by various agencies within Michigan; it was not like some outside force attacked their water supply. In other words it could have been prevented if everyone had worked together. Now when a breakdown occurs due to outside elements, things can go haywire. ARMED citizens in Benghazi Libya overpower a compound where the U.S. Ambassador has chosen to reside. Thirty miles away a small band of CIA contractors are witnessing the evolving destruction. Based on a true story this action thriller directed by Michael Bay (Transformers franchise, Armageddon) had intense, bloody fight scenes throughout the story. With John Krasinski (Leatherheads, The Office-TV) as Jack Silva, James Badge Dale (World War Z, Shame) as Tyrone “Rone” Woods and Pablo Schreiber (Vicky Cristina Barcelona, The Manchurian Candidate) as Kris “Tonto” Paronto as part of the cast; I was stunned by this film. Remove all the politics that have formed around this story; it truly was astounding to witness the amount of craziness that was billowing all around the characters. Let me see if I can explain the feeling. I went through drivers education class to get my license. Going through all the simulations and supervised driving lessons in the school’s parking lot did not prepare me to that adrenaline rush the first time my car slid across ice covering a busy intersection. The same can be said here; no one was prepared for the escalation of violence. Too bad the script was filled with cliches and simplistic dialog; how many times does one need to hear someone being called “brother?” The action was typical for Michael, fast action mixed with slow motion movements. Not to take anything away from these heroic people but their story needed a better script.
2 1/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Norm of the North
The human race has created many beautiful things throughout the centuries. Some of them remain standing today while others over time were demolished, either for something newer or in the name of progress. What I find hideous is when the people in power decide to placate the local residents by saving the facade of a structure they are tearing down only to paste it onto the building they are constructing in the same spot. It does not matter that there is not architectural connection between the two. For me a more lasting beauty is what nature creates all around us. I have been extremely lucky to have visited some of the national parks across the United States. From a geyser to a canyon to a mountain peak, I have seen places that have not been touched by a human hand. Can you imagine if there comes a time where, let us say, an electronic billboard is erected in a national park? Or how about if a hotel or gift shop is constructed next to natural stone arches or powerful waterfalls? I for one would consider it a crime to spoil such natural, pristine beauty that is here on this planet. Not everything has to be new and fresh to be considered a natural beauty (good advice for some celebrities); I do not know when our values changed to discard old objects or look at a place and determine how it can generate money. It is this type of message that was the focus of this animated film. WHEN real estate developer Mr. Greene, voiced by Ken Jeong (Ride Along 2, Community-TV), commits to building condos in the Arctic home of Norm, voiced by Rob Schneider (50 First Dates, The Hot Chick), the talking polar bear decides to travel to American to change Mr. Greene’s mind. I have to be blunt and right to the point here; this adventure comedy was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. It was startling to say the least. The animation was poor, story weak, jokes both lame and inappropriate; I ask you what child needs to see a twerking polar bear? What in the world possessed Heather Graham (Boogie Nights, The Hangover franchise) as Vera and especially Bill Nighy (About Time, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel franchise) as Socrates to take part in this disaster? The movie studio behind this film, as far as I know, is not known for creating animated pictures and it showed. I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you the children in the audience never reacted to anything on the screen while most of the parents were either focusing on their snacks or smart phones. The only reason I am including an extra 1/4 star to the rating is because the message was sound, not that young children would understand the concept here. This movie was as lame as this joke: this film left me cold.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ride Along 2
It is hard to tell someone what they are attempting to do is not very good. I am not referring to someone’s behavior or actions per se, more as a reality check to a person’s desire. Many of you may have seen these reality shows where a person auditions to be part of the program, as a singer or dancer. I am all for encouraging a person to pursue their dreams, but some of the people I have seen on these television shows appear to have been chosen solely to amuse the viewing audience. I find it perplexing that the contestant claims their family and friends said they would make a great singer or dancer, when it is obvious they cannot carry a tune or stay on beat. Remembering one of my writing classes, there was a student who wanted to be a writer. Through class discussions we found out his family encouraged him by holding mini story times for him to read his stories to the family. Based on what he read in our class, his stories tended to follow a formula: the endings always involved someone dying and the use of profanity was meant to shock the reader since its use rarely fit his characters. He did pass the class but by junior year he either dropped out of school or changed majors; I never saw him again. I do not think anyone wants or enjoys having to be the one to perform the reality check, but isn’t it preferable to watching the person go through with some ill-advised life decisions based on unrealistic hopes? There was a similar situation taking place in this comedic sequel. BEN Barber, played by Kevin Hart (The Wedding Ringer, Get Hard), was positive he was on the right path to becoming a permanent police officer when he accompanied his future brother-in-law Detective James Payton, played by Ice Cube (21 Jump Street franchise, Barbershop franchise), to Miami to help solve a case. James was convinced Ben could not handle the pressure. If you saw the original movie and enjoyed it then you will be in store for the exact same thing in this film. I first have to say I do not consider Kevin an actor; he is exactly the same in every role I have seen him in previously. Regarding this action picture, there were many aspects of it that irritated me. The jokes about Kevin’s height (is this a requirement for every one of his movies?), the jokes about the two characters becoming brother-in-laws and the lack of a solid story all contributed to my boredom. However I did enjoy Ken Jeong (The Hangover franchise, All About Steve) as A.J. and Benjamin Bratt (Miss Congeniality, Demolition Man) as Antonio Pope. This film as far as I was concerned was a quick money grab by the movie studio. Someone needs to tell them they are not producing a decent product if this is what they come up with for a sequel.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Perfect Host
If you plan on serving one dessert per person then your dinner party will be a success. At least that is my philosophy when it comes to having people over for dinner. I am more confident with my baking skills than my cooking abilities; so I figure if the main course flops I can at least have my guests leave with full bellies from the variety of desserts out on the dining room table. The reason I am still timid with cooking is because my past dinner parties involved ordering in food, like pizza. Only recently have I ventured into creating home cooked meals. I do not know why things changed, but I know there is something special about sitting down with friends and family to share a meal. Preparing the meal and watching people experience a positive feeling from the things I created is a real trip for me. It stimulates my creative side and forms a memorable bond. In fact, I always insist my guests take food home with them because I believe when they go to eat the leftovers; the memory of our time together will solidify in their mind and heart. To me this is one of the foundations that makes for a successful dinner party. As host it is my job to conduct the party’s events, from appetizers all the way to desserts and snacks. I am a sucker for new products which means I always include something new for everyone to taste; it is sort of like having our own focus group. Even with all the things I do my diner parties pale in comparison to the one in this comedic crime thriller. CRIMINAL John Taylor, played by Clayne Crawford (A Walk to Remember, The Baytown Outlaws), needed to lay low and thought he found the perfect place. It was the house of Warwick Wilson, played by David Hyde Pierce (The Fisher King, Frasier-TV), who was in the middle of preparing a dinner party when John rang his doorbell. This film festival winner’s story was a bit off the wall in an odd sort of way. There was a mixture of whimsical and threatening scenes, some seemed implausible. Along with Tyrees Allen (12 Angry Men, RoboCop) as Roman and Megahn Perry (The Convent, The Gravedancers) as Simone De Marchi, the cast was fine. David Hyde Pierce did his best with the role, though the character had similarities to David’s previous acting roles. There was nothing great about this movie but I enjoyed the surprise twists and what I can only call the looniness in the script. It was that craziness that wore the action down in my opinion. I did not fine this film to be a true thriller; it was more like a light version. On DVD this film was okay; it certainly is not a must see type of thing to watch. I would not choose it for a dinner and movie night at my house. There were multiple scenes that showed blood.
2 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Anomalisa
There are times where it is easier to connect with a stranger than a person you know. I witness this multiple times as an instructor or when I am out of synch with my daily routine. Ah yes the daily routine; you know, where we get set into a pattern and begin repeating it every day. If there was a contest I absolutely would be a finalist since I find comfort and calmness in keeping a routine. When I am out of my daily rituals, like on vacation, I become more available to strike up a conversation with strangers. Taking it a step further I find it easy to have a conversation with a blind date. Recently I was out with a friend and we were talking about dating. They have a 2 date limit; in other words, if they do not feel something after 2 dates they end it. They said the hardest part of the process was being honest and telling the person they are not interested. I absolutely agree because though it is hard, I feel it is harder not to say anything and leave a person in limbo hoping things just drift apart. What I find even worse is when a person stops communicating, ignoring your texts and phone calls. I wonder if the ease in talking or not talking to a stranger is because a person can be whoever they want to be, since there is no history between them. Maybe they relish the opportunity to reinvent themselves and in turn become more open or available for new experiences. This Oscar nominated, animated movie showed more feelings than many humans I have met. AUTHOR Michael Stone, voiced by David Thewlis (The Theory of Everything, Seven Years in Tibet), was traveling out of state to be the guest speaker at a convention. His life was about to change thanks to convention attendee Lisa Hesselman, voiced by Jennifer Jason Leigh (The Hateful Eight, Road to Perdition). This film festival winner brilliantly used stop motion animation that brought the puppets alive. With a script that was part comedy, part drama; I became fascinated with the story, losing sense that these puppets were not real people. It was a surreal experience for me. There were several astute observations about the human condition throughout the script thanks to co-writer and co-director Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation). It did take time for me to actually get into the story; I found the beginning of the movie slow. By the way this is absolutely not a film for young people since the puppets get into adult situations. Overall I was most impressed with the technical aspects of this picture; it must have taken an incredibly long time to get the puppets to move in such a seamless way. From the script there certainly was enough situations that would lend themselves to topics of conversation afterwards. I would have liked to have heard what other people were saying about the movie, but I was on my schedule and had to leave the theater.
3 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Trailer: Cafe De Flore
The sun’s light provides you with vitamin D. If you get too much sunlight you could damage your skin, even get a disease. Water is a vital component in maintaining a healthy body, however too much of it could wash out important nutrients or do something worse to your body. There are some people who fill their life with extremes. You may have heard someone say, “they play hard” or “party hard,” which means the individual does something to excess. I used to work with someone who would constantly come into the office hung over from a night of drinking. There are just some people who do not have the word “moderation” in their vocabulary. If I think about it is there anything one can do to an extreme without it being harmful in some way? At the health club I have seen people work out for hours; it cannot be healthy since they not only look like skeletons, they are creating hormonal changes in their bodies. Or have you ever been with someone who quickly wants to become part of your life? I have dated a couple of these individuals and I have to tell you I found it creepy. You may have experienced something like it. They start liking the same things you do, start using your funny catch phrases or sayings and want to be with you every minute of the day. Whether you say excessive or obsession it is not a good thing. A relationship with obsessive love will be an unhealthy one, filled with side effects. SUCCESSFUL Montreal based DJ Antoine Godin’s, played by Kevin Parent (The Calling, La Maison du Pecheur), love ended his marriage. Parisian native Jacqueline, played by Vanessa Paradis (Fading Gigolo, Heartbreaker), experienced the same thing but for totally different reasons. This dramatic romance had two parallel stories running at the same time: one set in Paris during the 1960s and the other in present day Montreal. It was not hard going back and forth between the stories in this film festival winning movie because each of them covered weighty topics. The actors were well suited to handle the script; they kept things interesting for me. There was an element of mystery or maybe I should say suspense in the way the stories revealed little things that tried to tie the two together; however, I could not figure it out. It had the feeling of mysticism or psychic connection I believe, as several scenes introduced were dream sequences. This was confusing for me. Separately I was interested in each story though I was more involved with the story line for Jacqueline. I am guessing many viewers of this film have seen or reacted similarly to the actions of the characters; that is what kept my interest. However, I felt if the movie studio had done two separate films for the stories each would have been stronger. French was spoken with English subtitles.
2 1/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: The Forest
It was a couple of months or so ago where I read a news article about a set of twins, two sisters. They were in their late 80s, living on opposite sides of the country. They each were married with grown children. Based on what I read about them they seemed to have led an “ordinary” life; in other words there was nothing extreme that befell either of them. Now the reason why I was even reading about them was due to their death, which was the headline of their story. One of the sisters had died of a heart attack and within less than an hour later the other sister died of the same thing. There wasn’t time to even tell the living sister about her twin’s death. Some people who read this article would say how sad it was that the sisters could not say goodbye to the other, while others might say each of the women did not have to experience the sadness of losing their sister. I think both trains of thought are valid. The first set of twins I met was in high school. Actually the school had several sets which fascinated me even more. The reason being some sets were identical both in personality and physicality, but others looked the same but totally different in temperament; I am talking the perfect examples for what was a good and a bad conscious. But what really intrigued me was the special silent bond the siblings shared with each other. Without uttering a word a set of twins could still communicate with each other on, what I interpreted it to be, a psychic level; similar to what was taking place with the twins in this horror film. SARA, played by Natalie Dormer (Rush, Game of Thrones-TV), felt it deeply; her twin sister Jess was in trouble somewhere in the Aokigahara Forest at the foot of Mt. Fuji in Japan. Even the forest’s nickname, “Suicide Forest,” would not stop Sara from finding her sister. The cast which included Taylor Kinney (The Other Woman, Chicago Fire-TV) as Aiden and Eoin Macken (Centurion, Merlin-TV) as Rob did a good job of acting. I enjoyed the outdoor scenes which lent themselves to an almost mythical atmospheric platform for the characters to play with as the story progressed. The horror was more psychological based than gruesome terror. Too bad the script was poorly written because there was nothing scary or suspenseful in this movie. I kept waiting for something to happen besides the sudden sound or strange appearance in a scene but no luck. There were more groans in the theater than in this film. The idea for the story was sound. The cast was capable, the setting was fine; but nothing was done to utilize them to their best advantage. What scared me was a scene that looked like it could be a prelude to a sequel; I certainly hope I am wrong.
1 1/2 stars
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