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Flash Movie Review: The Loft
No matter what age, it is safe to say everyone wants to have some space they can call their own. A place important to them; where one could be surrounded by things that meant something only to them. As children some were lucky to have a treehouse, fort or maybe a swing set. Do you remember going from a crib to a bed? I actually remember how excited I was when the time came when I was finally getting a bed like everyone else. If in college you had to share a dorm room with another student, it was important for the roomies to stake out and acknowledge each other’s space. I lived in off campus housing where I had my own room but shared a kitchen with 6 other students. We were all respectful of each others’ food except for one guy who would “borrow” things and never replace them. It is funny when people co-habitate due to marriage or wanting to live in an expensive apartment they cannot afford by themselves, they still need a spot they can call their own. I am sure you have heard the term “man’s cave” referring to a place where a guy can do as they please; it may be something like a spare bedroom or a garage. It is a place where one can do what they want without infringing on someone else’s sensibilities. I have seen a variety of such places but nothing ever happened in them like what took place in this movie. KEEPING a high-rise penthouse secret from everyone else was paramount if this group of friends wanted to be able to use their place for whatever they so desired. That all changed however when one of the friends entered the loft and found a dead woman handcuffed to the bed. This dramatic thriller had as part of its cast Karl Urban (Star Trek franchise, Dredd) as Vincent Stevens, James Marsden (Enchanted, The Best of Me) as Chris Vanowen, Wentworth Miller (The Human Stain, Prison Break-TV) as Luke Seacord and Eric Stonestreet (Identity Thief, Modern Family-TV) as Marty Landry. Gratefully the acting was good overall by the cast. I liked the look of the film and thought the film’s beginning was a good start for this mystery. By the way it would be perfectly understandable if viewers were offended with the premise to this story; I had a bit of a challenge accepting it. Unfortunately the story quickly spiraled out of control with too many twists and turns, trying to keep everyone guessing on why there was a dead woman in the loft. I found parts of the story to be ridiculous, growing to dislike the characters. Maybe the movie studio should have kept this film a secret from us.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Wedding Ringer
It is understandable there would be more pressure if it is expected this would be the only time one would be walking down the aisle for their wedding. Whether the wedding is simple or elaborate, everyone involved wants everything to go as smoothly and perfectly as possible. From the weddings I have attended either as a guest or part of the wedding party, I have gone behind the scenes to see what steps were being taken to make the event appear seamless. Let me just tell you right from the start, think twice before having your pet be part of the ceremony. Sure they are cute while the guests are oohing and ahhing, but it can go so wrong so fast. There is no way I will ever forget this one wedding where the parents of the bride and groom had a strong dislike for each other. The fighting reached epic proportions. Whether the color of the flowers was not right or the seats did not have seat back covers, the parents argued over everything. Not only did they avoid eye contact with each other during the whole ceremony, they continued bickering and snapping at each other to the point I tried keeping my distance from them as much as possible. They may have forgotten what the day was supposed to be about, but did the parents in this comedic romance remember? JOSH Gad (Love & Other Drugs, Jobs) played Doug Harris, a frantic man who was about to get married to Gretchen Palmer, played by Kaley Cuoco-Swetting (The Big Bang Theory-TV, 8 Simple Rules-TV). Desperate to find groomsmen and a best man for the wedding Doug turned to Jimmy Callahan, played by Kevin Hart (About Last Night, Ride Along), who headed a company that specialized in a particular service that would aid Doug in his search. He would wind up getting something more than what he paid for with the service. This film festival winner was meant to be a comedy, with its outrageous premise. I did not totally dislike this film; I just thought it was nothing important to make a trip to the theater to go see. My biggest issue came down to Kevin Hart. As a stand-up comedian he is fine; but every role I have seen him in so far, he does the same thing over and over to the point I just find him annoying. The trailer for this picture shows exactly what to expect if one chooses to go see it. Though I chuckled a couple of times, there were no scenes that made me laugh out loud. If you are asked to go see this film; if I were you, I would send my regrets and wait for it to be available as a rental.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Inherent Vice
I sure wish they would hurry up and create those human transporter devices I have seen in science fiction films. You may know the type where your body turns into a swirling mass of small, colored bubbles of light that disperse and reassemble you in a different location. This would be so useful during those awkward moments where you feel out of place among a group of individuals. The moments I am referring to would be similar to situations like attending a party where you were not told it was a masquerade event and costumes were mandatory. Last year I signed up for a training workshop regarding a new body fitness sculpting format; it was a three day event. The first day I walked into the training facility and was met with a group of people who were easily half my age. There I was dressed in baggy workout shorts and a loose T-shirt as everyone else either had skin tight or skimpy, color co-ordianted outfits. Now it was not a big deal to me what they wore or their age; however, a majority of them were personal trainers and I was not. As we went through the training I realized there was no way my body could do what everyone else was doing in class. I could have used that transporter then since I felt out of place. Those same feelings started to come over me during this comedic crime drama. WHEN Los Angeles detective Larry “Doc” Sortello, played by Joaquin Phoenix (The Immigrant, Her), agreed to help his ex-girlfriend he had no idea where the case would lead him, but as long as he had drugs available he was good to go. Written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will be Blood, The Master) that was based on Thomas Pynchon’s (Gravity’s Rainbow, Mason & Dixon) novel, I did not get this film festival winning movie that ran for 148 long minutes. Viewers will either love or hate this picture, I believe. The cast was good, including Josh Brolin (Labor Day, W.) as Lt. Detective Christian F. “Bigfoot”Bjornesen and Katherine Waterston (Michael Clayton, Robot & Frank) as Shasta Fay Hepworth, along with the variety of other actors who had small roles. However, for a movie watching experience I did not have a good time sitting through this showing. The mix of scenes seemed random and scattered, as if little vignettes were first created then pieced together. Since I was getting bored in the theater I did glance around at the crowd. This may sound weird but I actually felt a little out of place because the crowd seemed to be all cut from the same mold and I was not. I do not know if it was a generational thing; all I wanted was to be transported out of the theater.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Oxford Murders
It started in high school, where there were a couple of teachers who had an edge to them. In other words their teaching styles were not the norm. Students, me being one of them, gravitated to these teachers’ classes because we felt they understood us, treating us more like adults than high school students. However, when I went to college I really started to understand the power an instructor could have over their students. My European history professor was an expert in his field; our textbook was written by him. He was German with a heavy accent whose field of expertise was World War II. His classes were filled with these incredible tales of high drama and intense personal insight to what was actually taking place in the areas he travelled. I do not know if it was due to his intensity or passion, but he was the only instructor I had who used a healthy dose of profanity. And pity the student who was not paying attention and asked him to repeat himself. The teacher would say stuff where these days he would have been written up by his supervisor. His outrageous behavior would not only draw students to him, it would turn some of them into groupies; or worse yet, into these tail wagging pets who would do anything to get his praise. MARTIN’S, played by Elijah Wood (The Lord of the Rings franchise, Green Street Hooligans), sole purpose for doing his graduate work at Oxford University was to get Professor Arthur Seldom, played by John Hurt (The Elephant Man, V for Vendetta). He was willing to try anything, even solving a murder, to get Arthur’s attention. John Hurt was the draw for me in watching this crime thriller. I have to say he gave a good effort to bring his character to life. The beginning of the story held my attention as the cast, which also included Julie Cox (Second in Command, Almost Heaven) as Beth and Leonor Watling (Talk to Her, My Life Without Me) as Lorna, were introduced. It appeared this film festival winner was going to be a traditional mystery like an Agatha Christie story. However, it was quickly apparent the writers did not know what they wanted to be; an Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes, Jessica Fletcher type of sleuth mystery. I started not believing in the scenes as the script spiraled out of control. Everything started to feel like one big visual version of the board game Clue. Watching this DVD on a do nothing type of day would be ok I guess, but I cannot recommend signing up for class.
1 3/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Annie
It seems as if more people and companies are playing some type of angle with their actions. For example take a look at the larger containers of juice that go on sale at the grocery store. They have those big, bold sale tags that draw customers to the product; but if you look at the cost per fluid ounce, the juice on sale is still more expensive than the smaller containers. Get a load of this; with two of the movie chains I frequent, I am a member of each one’s rewards program. One chain gives you $10.00 back for every $100.00 you spend on tickets and food items. The other one also returns $10.00 to you, but after you have see 100 movies. Now granted I may not be the best example since I see a ton of movies, but which rewards program do you think is the better deal? The thing I find most annoying is the 2nd movie chain example shows advertisements for their rewards program before the movie starts; touting it as if it were the greatest thing to come along since penicillin. As I said earlier, everything has to have some type of angle these days. UGLINESS may have been all around her, but it could not bring down her positive attitude towards life. Annie, played by Quvenzhane Wallis (Beasts of the Southern Wild, 12 Years a Slave), was convinced good things would come her way. Her accidental meeting with businessman Will Stacks, played by Jamie Foxx (Law Abiding Citizen, Dreamsgirls), would prove her point; even if Will did not know it yet. Between stage, screen and television I have seen several versions of this classic story. This Golden Globe nominee had the most radical changes done to it in my opinion. For this comedic drama there was more of an emphasis on material things as Jamie’s character had all the trappings of a big time company’s CEO. My favorite character was Rose Byrne (Neighbors, Insidious franchise) playing Grace. And that is all I liked about this utterly lifeless film. In the worst case of miscasting I have seen in a long time, Cameron Diaz (The Holiday, The Other Woman) as Miss Hannigan was so dreadful; she had none of the wicked fun of past actresses who played the iconic role. The dance numbers were stale and poorly directed. I was so stunned by the dullness of this film. The new songs they inserted at the cost of some original ones were unmemorable; it was somewhat hard to think of this film as a true musical. I cannot recommend this picture because it felt like the producers’ angle was to play on people’s memories of the story, to get them into the movie theater.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Dracula Untold
Sometimes I wish I could have seen the earlier years of a person I have known or recently met. An individual, no matter how hard they have tried, will still act out a particular way based on past interactions from their life. I am sure all of us have had times where we silently wondered why a person was acting a certain way. It could be something as benign as not liking candles or as wicked as mercilessly teasing a cat or dog. I knew someone who rarely gave an opinion about anything. Being asked where they wanted to eat or what movie to see, they could not voice their thoughts, only say whatever or it did not matter. It wasn’t until I happened to meet their parent that I finally saw the reason why they were acting that way. The parent was overbearing and quick to belittle their child. My curiosity goes beyond people in the present; I would enjoy finding out what transpired with historical people, like Napoleon or Catherine the Great, that influenced or molded them that has not been told in our history books. Purely for entertainment value, I find taking liberties with a known character or actual person an acceptable form; look at the success of Wicked, the story about how the Wicked Witch of the West came to be. VLAD III dubbed Vlad the Impaler, played by Luke Evans (Immortals, Fast & Furious III), was an ideal candidate to use to create an action fantasy backstory. Protective of his family and subjects, not wanting to see the children of his kingdom experience what he had as a child, Vlad would have to look beyond his kingdom if he was going to repel the Sultan Mehmed, played by Dominic Cooper (The Devil’s Double, Need for Speed). His search would lead to a force that could even overpower him. The idea for this dramatic story was appealing to me and I found the opening scenes compelling. Joining Luke and Dominic was Charles Dance (Game of Thrones-TV, Gosford Park) as Master Vampire; all three had a strong screen presence. The special effects were not the greatest but were darkly fun to watch. With a good start it was all the more disappointing that the script got sillier and sillier as the film progressed. Seriously, I was stunned that the writers thought the idea of a blindfolded army going into battle was a good idea. Add in the trendy haircut for Dominic’s character Mehmed and this was a movie sorely lacking the guts for a great backstory. There were multiple scenes that had blood and violence.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Men, Women & Children
Deep within the Amazon Jungle I saw a pair of dark, wide eyes peering out at me through dense, overflowing foliage. A separate time I was able to revisit Florence Italy where I had climbed up to the top of Il Duomo di Firenza, the main church of the city. Friends have told me about their ability to see the birth of a child from across the country. They have also told me some of their horror stories involving deceitful people. In the news recently I heard how retail chains were hacked and their customers’ charge card information was stolen.I did not have to listen because I already knew about it when my credit card information was stolen. Until the credit card company called me to verify a purchase that was being done in a different state from where I lived, I had no idea someone had grabbed my information. All of the things I have mentioned so far were made possible by the internet. Ah yes, the internet; where it can take you to far remote spots of the world to witness the discovery of a rare plant, while its evil side robs you of your identity while you sleep. For me, using the internet is akin to relating to someone with a split personality disorder; it can be so rewarding, yet extremely challenging. PEOPLE have to constantly adjust the way they relate to each other due to the power of the internet. Writer/director Jason Reitman (Juno, Labor Day) assembled a large cast of actors for this drama based on the novel, about the twists and turns people must navigate in their daily lives due to the accessibility of the internet. A few of the actors in this film were Adam Sandler (Blended, That’s My Boy) and Rosemarie DeWitt (The Watch, Rachel Getting Married) who played Don and Helen Truby, a married couple looking for something more than they had in their marriage. Jennifer Garner (Draft Day, Dallas Buyers Club) played overprotective mother Patricia Beltmeyer to her daughter Brandy, played by Kaitlyn Dever (Short Term 12, The Spectacular Now). Out of all the actors in this movie the only two that stood out for me were Kaitlyn and Ansel Elgort (Divergent, The Fault in Our Stars) as Tim Mooney. Their story line and acting were the most interesting to me. I found the rest of the cast somewhat dull but considering the script went nowhere it was understandable. For most of this film I sat in my seat being bored. With the absence to a beginning, a middle and defined conclusions to the different story lines I felt I was only seeing bits and pieces of people’s lives; similar to mindlessly surfing the internet for hours.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Annabelle
Those initial first experiences are what gets played in most people’s heads when they encounter them again later in life. I refer to this as recordings in my head. Gratefully as I have aged I now have the ability to fast forward some of them when they crop up just as I am encountering some new situation that resembles a past experience. An example would be individuals who had a bad experience the first time they went to a dentist. Chances are their future visits were accompanied with a bit of dread. There used to be an amusement park in the city that had a creepy looking fun house. The first time I went there my cousins convinced me to go with them into the fun house. I was not scared initially by the exterior with its dark shadowed walls and large doorway that looked like a clown’s gaping mouth with yellowed teeth. As we entered, however, we were immediately thrust into darkness; there were only a few dim lights that barely cast a weak glow. For some reason I became separated from the rest of the group and wound up getting stuck in a maze of mirrored passageways. Each turn I took I would encounter some action that scared me further. I finally was retrieved after I began screaming and crying. From that experience it took a long time before I could enter a fun house without having a preconceived sense of fear. BUILT-IN fan base with some expectations would be a reason to do a prequel to a successful film which is why I believe director John R Leonetti (The Conjuring, Insidious) was on board for this horror movie. Soon to be parents Mia and John Gordon, played by Annabelle Wallis (Body of Lies, The Tudors-TV) and Ward Horton (The Wolf of Wall Street, The Mighty Macs), began experiencing frightening events after John bought Mia a gift of an antique doll for her collection. I had high hopes for this prequel since I had enjoyed John R. Leonetti’s previous picture The Conjuring. Unfortunately the poorly written script deflated much of the fear out of this film. It seemed as if the writers were randomly plopping down quick scenes to scare the viewer without much suspense. The acting did not do anything for me including the performance out of Alfre Woodward (12 Years a Slave, The Family That Preys) as bookshop owner Evelyn. With this film I felt the movie studio saw the success of The Conjuring and hurriedly decided they could earn more money by turning it into a franchise. Frankly the only thing I found scary was the possibility they would make another movie of this caliber. There were a few scenes that had blood and violence.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Last of Robin Hood
I can only imagine what it must have been like to sit in one of those old movie palaces with the etched terra cotta walls, marble countertops and various sculptures plus murals adorning its grand lobby. Settled into one of the plush velvet covered seats with the wooden armrests that were polished to a high gloss, there had to be an electric energy in the air when this actor was up on the large movie screen. The reason I say this is because I remember seeing his movies on television when I was a little boy. Whether he played a pirate who was secretly conspiring with Queen Elizabeth I to pick off Spanish ships or robbing from the rich to give to the poor; to me he was the ultimate hero. I remember one Halloween I wore a pirate costume but at each house I visited I would tell them I was Errol Flynn (The Sea Hawk, Captain Blood). During his lifetime there was no social media or reporter frenzy like there is today. Scandals may have been reported via word of mouth, but with Errol his outrageousness went beyond any behind the back whispers. KEVIN Kline (Last Vegas, Wild Wild West) portrayed Errol Flynn in this dramatic biography that focused on the movie star’s last years. The story focused on Errol’s infatuation with a young girl named Beverly Aadland, played by Dakota Fanning (Man on Fire, The Runaways). With a celebrity obsessed mother named Florence, played by Susan Sarandon (Tammy, Thelma & Louise), the young starlet wannabe and older actor would set off a controversy that would rock Hollywood. Since I was not familiar with this story I did ask a couple of people if they remembered this chapter of Errol’s life. They in fact did remember the incident, confirming parts of this film for me. Kevin Kline did an admirable job playing Errol. He may not have had the same suave golden charm of Errol but he was still able to pull it off. As for Dakota I was surprised how much I did not care for her in this role. Her acting was bland and lifeless to me. Compared to Kevin and Susan she stood out as a joke; though I have to say, I did not think Susan was all that great either. For such a character from the golden age of actors, this movie fell flat; I was periodically bored as I would glance at my watch to see if the film was almost over. It is never a good sign if I have to look at my watch during a picture. Such a poorly written script, this film did not put the life into an actor who was larger than life.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: When the Game Stands Tall
At the time no one had heard the term politically correct. I grew to dislike team sports from my physical education classes in elementary and high school. Those classes had nothing to do with health I discovered once I was in college. Except for twice a year where we were tested to see how many sit-ups and chin-ups we could do, the majority of the time was spent being picked for a team and being told we had to try and crush the other team. There were a couple of gym teachers who could have been on the “before” posters regarding the benefits of exercising. One in particular always had the stench of cigarette smoke wafting out of his pores. He was the most inappropriate person to be a teacher. When teams were formed he would give us a pep talk, telling us we had to slaughter and beat our opponents. There could only be one winner and one loser; he would verbally abuse the players during the game. I did not want to be a part of those classes, so I focused on individual sports activities outside of school. COMPLETELY opposite from my high school instructor was the teacher in this dramatic sports film inspired by a true story. Jim Caviezel (The Thin Red Line, Person of Interest-TV) played the inspirational teacher and football coach Bob Ladouceur. Working with his team, the De La Salle High School Spartons, Coach Ladouceur along with his assistant Coach Terry Eidson, played by Michael Chiklis (Fantastic Four franchise, The Shield-TV), led the players to an unheard of record-breaking streak of 151 wins. This movie had the perfect story to tell for both the sports and non-sports minded viewer. For someone who does not follow football, I knew their winning streak was unheard of with any professional sports team. The game scenes were actually exciting throughout the film. What was a total disservice to the story was the horrible script; it was dull, lifeless and filled with cliches that were meant to move the viewer. The cast which also included Laura Dern (The Fault in Our Stars, The Master) as Bev Ladouceur, Alexander Ludwig (The Hunger Games, Lone Survivor) as Chris Ryan and Clancy Brown (The Shawshank Redemption, Starship Trooper) as Chris Ryan all did a decent job of acting with their characters. How the writers took what was an incredible story and put out this poor version was beyond me; especially when they showed clips of the actual people at the end of the film. Even I wanted to be part of that team, not the one depicted in this film.
1 3/4 stars
moviejoltz 