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Flash Movie Review: Storks
Times have certainly changed and I bet some of you will be surprised to hear how things used to be when someone was expecting a baby. Years ago the new mother spent more time in the hospital before coming home. Nowadays the way things are going I am surprised one doesn’t need a referral from their primary doctor before going to the hospital to deliver a baby. And once you deliver you are sent home as quickly as possible. If she already had any young children at home more than likely they were not allowed in the hospital right away to see their new baby sister or brother. The mother would have to find a relative to stay and watch her child/children while she went to the hospital. I know what I am about to say will seem dated and I am aware in some circles they still would not approve but there used to be negative connotations associated with being a single mother. Growing up I can only recall one person who was a student who became pregnant. She disappeared; none of us knew what happened to her. Currently most people look upon the birth of a child as a joyous occasion. With the definition of family evolving where a family can be related by blood or not, I think deciding to have a child is an important decision. Even the method of delivery has expanded from what was available back then. Presently one can deliver a baby in a filled up bathtub, a birthing chair or even at home; they do not have to go to a hospital necessarily. Honestly does it really matter? As long as a baby is brought into this world with love and want it does not matter how they get here. See for yourself in this animated comedy. HAVING gotten out of the baby delivery business and into delivering packages employee Junior, voiced by Andy Samberg (The To Do List, Poster: Never Stop Never Believing), of internet company Cornerstone.com must find a way to deliver a surprise unexpected baby without his boss finding out. This adventure film also had Katie Crown (Bob’s Burgers, American Dad!) voicing Tulip, Keegan-Michael Key (Tomorrowland, Keanu) as Alpha Wolf, Jordan Peele (Keanu, Wanderlust) as Beta Wolf and Kelsey Grammer (X-Men franchise, Any American Carol) as Hunter. Colorful and filled with scenes that were supposed to be humorous, I found the story odd. There was too much going on with the multiple themes taking place throughout the story. I thought the scenes with Alpha and Beta Wolf were the best. If the writers would have focused on one of the story lines I think this would have been a better film. There were times where I was bored, especially with some scenes that seemed like filler. It was a shame because the theme having to do with family had a good message to convey. I suspect the youngest of children will enjoy this film and I do not recall any scenes that would be terribly frightening for them. Mixing the old ways with some of the new ones this movie may have shown you how to deliver a baby; it just was not the best in delivering entertainment.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: Bridget Jones’s Baby
I have to be honest; I was enjoying the attention given to me. It started out with short voice messages being left on my phone. Nothing major just things like wishing me a good day or they wanted me to know they were thinking about me. From there as our relationship progressed I would be surprised from time to time with a “care” package left at my front door. It could be a box of chocolate chip cookies or an envelope filled with coupons from the Sunday newspapers. I found these left items endearing and sweet. For it being early in our relationship I was actually surprised with so much attention. To me their actions showed confidence, desire and on some level their willingness to take a risk. More of my past relationships had more tentativeness to them, where the two of us took our time to learn and reveal more about each other; so this particular relationship took me a little by surprise at first. Later on it took me by shock. You see while the two of us were becoming more intimate with each other, they were also dating someone else. It turns out they had met me a couple of weeks after this other guy they had been seeing, so decided to continue both relationships and see who would be the winner. I had no idea I was in a competition; for if I had, I would have ended it. Granted my odds were 50/50 but it would have been hard for me to let the walls protecting my heart come down in a situation like this one. I am only competitive with myself unlike the gentlemen in this romantic comedy. TURNING another year older Bridget, played by Renee Zellweger (Cinderella Man, Chicago), decided it was time to make some changes in her life. She just had not planned on making such a drastic change like the one that took place. With Patrick Dempsey (Made of Honor, Enchanted) as Jack, Colin Firth (Magic in the Moonlight, The King’s Speech) as Mark and Gemma Jones (Sense and Sensibility, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger) as Mum; the acting was well done. If I saw the previous Bridget Jones movies I do not have a memory of them so I will judge this sequel on its own. The story was fun with a script that offered a variety of physical comedy. I will say it took some time before I started to get into this film; the beginning did not grab me right away with the slow pacing. Maybe if I was more familiar with the Bridget character I would have felt differently. However once Patrick and Colin were in the story, I enjoyed the banter and the pacing picked up. There was a sense of the writers trying hard to make this sequel funny because I was starting to feel Bridget was turning into a cartoon character with all the incidents taking place. Overall I think those viewers familiar with Bridget will enjoy this film more than those who are just being introduced to the character. Maybe I should see the 2 previous films to make a comparison.
2 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: The Wild Life
For some of you one of your earliest memories may have been waking up in the morning to see 2 eyes intently watching you from a nose distance away. You may have woken up from the warm breath pulsing at you or maybe the low sounding purr. One of the earliest relationships many of us have had was the bond between us and our pets. Though I did not experience it at a young age, I do remember how much I enjoyed slipping in between the bed sheets to discover the warmth a pet had created in my space. I still get a chuckle from the stories and photos my friends share of them waking up to have a sleeping cat draped around their head or going to sleep and finding their dog was already snuggled into the bed with the sheets pulled up to their dog collar, their head resting on a pillow. One picture in particular you would swear the dog was looking at his non-furry friend as if to say, “C’mon, it is time to go to sleep.” The bond between animals and humans has stayed strong throughout the centuries. In the past I would always have a line drawn between the characteristics displayed by animals and humans. An animal acts differently than a human; I never assumed a dog or a cat was thinking in a similar way to me. Seeing the interactions between my friends and their pets, I know some of their pets are more than pets. I get it and I am not judging because I have witnessed some interactions that can only be explained as telepathy or empathy. Even some of the movies I have reviewed here that were based on true stories about humans and animals amazed me. In fact today’s film showed something I never knew about the classic story of Robinson Crusoe. STRANDED and alone Robinson Crusoe, voiced by Matthias Schweighofer (Rabbit without Ears, What a Man), did not realize he actually had friends on the small island. This film festival winning animated adventure comedy also had the voices of Kaya Yanar (Schillerstrabe-TV) as Papagei Dienstal, Ilka Bessin (Der Nanny) as Tapir Rosie and Dieter Hallervorden (Nonstop Nonsens-TV, On Track) as Ziegenbock Zottel. In case you were wondering this Belgium film had dubbed in English for the dialog. The best part of this picture was the colorful animation; that pretty much was it. I did not mind the twist the writers did to the Robinson Crusoe story but was surprised this script lacked anything fun or funny. Maybe the youngest of children would enjoy this but there were a couple of times where I thought the film was mean spirited. If I had never seen an animated film before in my entire life maybe I would have at least found something to like about this movie. It really was such a flat, uninspired production that I could not wait for it to be over. Honestly if this is an award winner, what were the other nominated films like? Your time would be better spent volunteering at an animal shelter or at least taking the money you would have spent for this film and donating it.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: The Hollars
Unless there is something seriously dramatic going on there is no way to know your family may be different from other families. This is one of the reasons we initially grow up believing we are just normal. However once you start experiencing the dynamics within other families it can be eye opening. I remember the first time my best friend invited me for dinner when we were in 3rd grade. Sitting there I knew something was just different about his family. His older brother sat at the dinner table with us and the parents, but he never said a word to me or his younger brother. He only would talk to the parents but just barely. To an outsider they would say that brother was just being rude, but to a young me I thought he was mean. As I grew and had more opportunities to be around other families I actually started to enjoy the experiences. I wonder if that was the start of my interest in pursuing interests in psychology. A college friend invited me to their home for the weekend where I wound up feeling like I was on one of those old family television shows from the 1950s or 60s. Every family member would get dressed up for dinner; I could not understand how the mother could cook an entire meal yet look like she was ready to go out on the town. There was another family I experienced that cursed at each other like they were just having a friendly conversation. Oh and how could I forget the family that shared a meal with me where all and I mean all the home cooked foods were barely edible to me? I do not want to sound ungrateful but nothing tasted like it was supposed to taste and some things did not look like they were cooked enough; yet all of the family members carried on about the food as if it were the best thing since sliced bread. It just goes to show there really is no such thing as a “normal” family. ONLY after his mother was admitted into the hospital did John Hollar, played by John Krasinski (Away We Go, 13 Hours), travel back home to be with his family. One tends to forget about their family when they are away from them. This film festival nominated comedic drama also starred Margo Martindale (The Hours, August: Osage County) as Sally Hollar, Sharlto Copley (Elysium, District ) as Ron Hollar and Richard Jenkins (The Visitor, The Cabin in the Woods) as Don Hollar. I thought Margo and Richard were the best out of the cast. The story had fun moments in it but there really was nothing that moved me to think I was watching a good movie. Maybe because there were a variety of issues taking place I felt nothing stood out except for Margo’s character. The actors tried their best I believe and John who also directed did a decent job; but the ending left me with a blah feeling. I do not know if it is because I have seen my share of dysfunctional families that I did not think this film was any big deal.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: War Dogs
How annoying is it when you get a new item and it isn’t what you expected or does not work? When it comes to food products our feelings are usually based on the item’s taste; I understand since I have tried some items touting their new great flavor, only to get a nasty taste in my mouth. This type of stuff I either give away or toss into the garbage. The rules are different when the products are not food based. I may have mentioned I bought a new computer. After the store transferred my old information to the new one, along with adding some new programs, I excitedly brought the computer home and turned it on. Everything about it was great until I left it for a moment. When I came back to continue my work the computer would not wake up from its sleep mode. To say I was annoyed would be putting it mildly. I did get it fixed but it is stuff like this that ticks me off. Just a couple of weeks ago it was reported that a department store would no longer carry their line of Egyptian cotton bed sheets. And do you know why? It turns out the company that was making the sheets for the store was not using Egyptian cotton. Can you believe it? The thing that amazes me is the audacity some of these manufacturers have in thinking they are “pulling the wool” over the eyes of their customers. And who really is affected by these actions? It is the consumers who wind up on the losing end. I know the example I gave here is just one of many that take place around the world. CHILDHOOD friends Efraim Diveroli and David Packouz, played by Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street, True Story) and Miles Teller (Fantastic Four, The Spectacular Now), found themselves taking on the bigger players in the defense field when they landed a $300 million contract from the Pentagon. The question was how were they going to fulfill it? Based on a true story this comedic drama also starred Ana de Armas (Exposed, The Boarding School-TV) as Iz and Bradley Cooper (Burnt, American Snipe) as Henry Girard. Along with all the other actors in this war film, this still was Jonah’s and Miles’ show. Their acting and chemistry was strong, though I felt Jonah was starting to be typecast with this type of character. The steady pacing kept the story going forward and I have to say even while I was watching this picture I still could not believe some of the things that were taking place. I think that is part of the attraction of this film; viewers will sit in disbelief by the outrageousness of some events. This will make up for the script that did not offer much depth to the characters along with having a little weakness towards the end. In spite of these things the story was so startling that I think it would grab the viewer to stay engaged with it.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Florence Foster Jenkins
It can be such a dilemma; the choice is whether to be supportive or honest. Now I grant you these two options can be compatible; but I have found myself in situations where I had to stop and think before I reacted to the circumstances present. So here is the question I have for you; how do you tell someone you care about that their dream will never happen? For what I hope is obvious reasons I have changed a few things here; let us say you have a close friend who wants to be a chef. They enjoy having dinner parties so they can try out new dishes on their friends. The food is fine but nothing you would pay for at a restaurant. Politeness dictates you tell your friend the food tastes good. Should you mention you would not necessarily pay for it but for homemade it was okay? Remember this friend’s dream is to be a chef either at an established venue or opening up their own place. Personally it is a tough call for me and I am the blunt one in my circle of friends. I would never quash a person’s dream; dreams are what make human beings grow and learn. On the other hand watching your friend spend money and time on something that probably will not yield them the desired results would be sad. Do you see my predicament? A similar situation was taking place in this biographical comedic drama. NEW YORK heiress Florence Foster Jenkins, played by Meryl Streep (Ricki and the Flash, Hope Springs), dreamed of becoming an opera singer. She had the means, the desire and the drive to fulfill this dream. The question was did she have the talent? Based on a true story this film’s cast formed a wonderful bond that came across the big screen. With Hugh Grant (About a Boy, Did You Hear About the Morgans?) as St. Clair Bayfield, Simon Helberg (Van Wilder: Party Liaison, The Big Bang Theory-TV) as Cosme McMoon and Rebecca Ferguson (Hercules, A One-Way Trip to Antibes) as Kathleen; the actors did their best with what was given to them. The story was better than the script. I thought the sets and costumes were spot on; but the script produced what I thought was a light version to what the story could have been. The acting was very good but I found the characters somewhat bland, though Simon’s character was curious. Without giving a spoiler alert let me just say I read somewhere that it was Meryl’s idea to not let the actors and extras hear her in some scenes until the first take. I have to say it worked because I thought the scenes looked authentic. So you see there were positives to this film; I just felt it lagged emotionally, not making a true connection with the viewer. Maybe there were people behind this project who dreamed of bringing this true story to the big screen. Who am I to tell them they should not have done it this way? Instead let me say my fascination with this story lingered on after the movie was over. The bottom line is everyone has the right to dream.
2 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Sausage Party
It started out when you were told to open the hangar doors wide because the airplane was coming in for a landing. Your parents would be making plane noises with their lips as the flying spoon they held with its contents of baby food came close to your gaping mouth. I only experienced the hangar doors for a short time before my mouth turned into a vacuum cleaner. After a couple of years when the airplane was no longer in commission, your food became a teaching tool. A bowl of soup offered the opportunity to spell words with the floating noodles shaped in the alphabet. How many of you would eagerly down a spoonful of soup with the words dog or cat staring at you? The next stage was not always a choice for many; the introduction of fast food. Coming with your food now were little toys and prizes. As an added bonus you did not have to always sit at a table to eat your food. This fast food allowed you to sit in the back seat of the car and eat while your parent was driving you home. Now depending on your age you may have grown up with one or two cooking shows on television that were hosted by Julia Child or Joyce Chen. Others may have seen a variety of food shows, from contests, to specific cuisines, to learning how to hold a dinner party for eight; food took on a new level of entertainment. I myself have tasted a variety of foods from a small country diner all the way to an exclusive world class haute cuisine restaurant. None of this prepared me for the food I saw in this animated adventure comedy. FRANK, voiced by Seth Rogan (Steve Jobs, The Interview), discovers the true meaning behind being chosen by a shopper at the grocery store and it was no where near what he and all his friends thought it would be. This film had a multitude of actors voicing the characters such as Kristen Wiig (The Martian, Welcome to Me) as Brenda, Edward Norton (American History, Fight Club) as Sammy and Salma Hayek (Once Upon a Time in Mexico, Some Kind of Beautiful) as Teresa. I found the beginning of the story interesting, filled with fun and jokes. Personally I understand the use of profanity can provide shock value in an amusing way; I quickly find it lazy humor the more it is used and curse words made up a a good portion of the script. As the story progressed I found less and less to enjoy about this picture. To me the writing was geared for a narrow range of viewers who just want to be shocked by inappropriate behavior. There definitely was a decent message to convey but it was undercooked compared to the rise of raw adult only scenes. As far as I could tell the prominent goal of the script was to surprise and maybe upset the viewer instead of providing a good story. All I can say is this movie provided a new definition to what is considered food porn.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Nine Lives
For endless hours of entertainment there is nothing like watching a newborn baby. Their facial expressions, the laugh they emit when you play “Peek-a-Boo” with them, the soft pudgy limbs; babies can ease pretty much any person’s mind of stress. In my yoga classes I tell new members that we were born with incredible flexibility. All they need to do to be reminded of it is to watch a baby move. As we grow and take on life’s challenges some of our flexibility may diminish; hopefully in class we can get re-introduced to that flexibility once again. Babies are not the only source of joyfulness or inspiration; there are many animals that at birth provide unlimited fun moments. The obvious ones would be puppies and kittens. Who doesn’t stop to look at a puppy or kitten playing? I believe I have mentioned I have a neighbor who fosters kittens and every day I get a show of them scampering and playing around their room. It was especially amusing to me the day I saw one kitten standing up and leaning on the closed door as another kitten was standing on them, as if they were forming a kitten pyramid up to the door handle. Just seeing the amount of cat and dog videos on my social media sites, I know I am not the only one who loves watching animals. This same neighbor has a food blog and when I asked her how she got so many followers to her site, she said all she had to do was post pictures of cats. Every time she posted a picture of one of the cats and kittens she was fostering, she would get new followers. Maybe that is why this comedy fantasy started out by showing cat videos. SUCCESSFUL businessman Tom Brand, played by Kevin Spacey (Elvis & Nixon, House of Cards-TV), was on the verge of his company’s latest achievement coming to fruition; the completion of North America’s tallest building. Pre-occupied with so much going on, Tom gave little thought to his daughter’s birthday request when he chose Mr. Fuzzypants from Felix Perkins, played by Christopher Walken (The Family Fang, Stand Up Guys), the odd proprietor of the pet store. This family film’s selling point was the cat. On a visual level, it was enjoyable watching the cat or the CGI cat doing the physical activities required for this story. However, the script not only did not help the cat; it did no favors for fellow cast members Jennifer Garner (Danny Collins, Dallas Buyers Club) as Lara Brand and Cheryl Hines (The Ugly Truth, Curb Your Enthusiasm-TV) as Madison Camden. The characters were more like cartoon ones than actual humans. As for Jennifer and her role, I really think she needs to do something different. The past few films she has been in she essentially is doing the same thing repeatedly. The story was predictable and one dimensional; there was little I found funny and for the most part I felt I was watching video clips taken from other movies. Actually more like videos that went viral. Maybe the film studio should have instead stayed with the cat videos for 90 minutes.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Suicide Squad
Maybe if it was the only thing I had known I would feel different about it. But I have compared items and know the difference. I do not want to come off as being a snob; I have actually matched up name brand products to their generic versions and there are times where the two are not the same. For example I have bought both a name brand and generic version of raisins. Taste wise there was not much difference; however, there was with the size of the generic one. They were smaller and not as plump. Normally this would be no big deal but they don’t look as good when used for baking. Another example is yogurt; now here there was a major contrast. The generic brand I tried never got smooth after stirring it; soft clumps of congealed yogurt remained in the container, yuck. Now there are items that I think are the same whether they are a store’s brand or name brand. I know that many times the same manufacturer is making both kinds. When I look at the nutritional label for both brands of vitamins they are identical; as far as I can tell the only difference is the price. The same results apply to spices; I cannot tell the difference from the ones I have compared. You may be sitting there and wondering why I am talking about this topic for today’s movie review. I was thinking about it right after this film was done playing. You see I was questioning myself to see if I would have the same initial feeling about this film if I had never seen the superhero movies from that other studio that produces them. Read ahead if you wish to see my answer. AMANDA Waller, played by Viola Davis (The Help, Doubt), was the tough boss of a top secret government program. She had to be because her program involved the worst of the worst imprisoned super villains. This action adventure movie was a massive introduction to the characters from the DC comic world. Starring Will Smith (Concussion, Men in Black franchise) as Deadshot, Margot Robbie (The Legend of Tarzan, The Wolf of Wall Street) as Harley Quinn and Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club, Mr. Nobody) as the Joker; the 1st half of the film was devoted to us meeting these characters. There were several others but I prefer not wasting space on listing them. The breakout star to this picture was Margot Robbie; as far as I was concerned she had the best lines and the most interesting character. I knew about Jared Leto’s acting style of remaining in character even when he is not being filmed, but the poorly written script turned his performance into a mediocre blandness. This film would satisfy the tween segment with all the fights and destruction. As for creating an entertaining movie experience this movie lacked in key areas like humor, character development and visual effects. The story never felt cohesive to me, which could be attributed to poor editing and directing. I am sad to say compared to other superhero movies this one was a generic one. An extra scene in the middle of the ending credits.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Bad Moms
What I am about to say may sound completely foreign to some of you, as if I lived on a different planet. It is okay because I have seen the generational shift and what was the norm for me does not apply to the present anymore. When I would come home from school I only stayed for enough time to put my books and supplies away before heading out to meet up with my friends. Depending on the day or our moods we would play games, go to the music store or climb trees, along with a variety of other activities. Of course if I had a school project there were times I could not participate and spent the afternoon at the library. There really was not much structure for any us. Sure there were days where someone had to stay home and work on their homework; depending on the amount, I used to do my homework after dinner. That was then, I am aware things are different now. I have seen and heard the schedules some kids have these days and it leaves me exhausted just hearing about it. Some children’s parents keep up a rigorous schedule of after school activities, such as soccer, science lab, painting; essentially any and everything from the arts, science and sports. I see these small children toting these massive backpacks that I am surprised don’t make the kids fall over. From some of the conversations I have heard from parents it seems peer pressure plays a major factor in this constant need to keep their kids occupied with extracurricular activities. The thought of being considered a “bad mom” seems to be enough motivation to keep up with the majority; or does it? FOR all intents and purposes Amy, played by Mila Kunis (Friends with Benefits, Jupiter Ascending), did it all. She had a job, took care of the kids, participated in the PTA and kept the household going. Everyone has their breaking point and sometimes it takes only one thing to break everything down. As I sat and watched this film it occurred to me I could not remember the last time I had heard so much laughter from an audience, including myself. This comedy had extremely strong language and inappropriate humor; you have been warned. From the comments I heard afterwards it appeared as if most women who were mothers could relate to this picture. Along with Mila there was Kathryn Hahn (We’re the Millers, This is Where I Leave You) as Carla, Kristen Bell (The Boss, Veronica Mars-TV) as Kiki and Christina Applegate (Vacation, Hall Pass) as Gwendolyn; these four women were outstanding in their roles. Despite the non-believability to some scenes the comedic strength of these actresses propelled the story throughout the movie. The soundtrack fit perfectly with the scenes and I thought the use of slow motion accentuated the humor. As a side note the majority of the movie goers were female; but, the men who were there laughed just as much as the women. I think most anyone would find this comedy entertaining. And no one would judge any of you with children for letting loose and having a good time watching this film.
3 stars
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