Blog Archives
Flash Movie Review: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
The word scared is defined as a condition or sensation of sudden fear. It is understandable to be fearful the first time one willingly parachutes out of an airplane or takes a ride on a wild roller coaster ride. Part of being scared is experiencing shock or surprise. I think most people would enjoy being shocked by a winning lottery ticket or unexpected promotion. Those types of shock are good, but none of us want to experience the shock of bad news. I think the reason we voluntarily go on a frightening ride or a scary movie is due to a primeval urge: the fight or fright syndrome. When one gets scared the body accelerates its functions, releasing hormones into the system, preparing itself for any imminent demands that will be placed on it. Because I believe in the use it or lose it way of thinking, I feel when we place ourselves in a controlled environment like a scary movie we are giving our body the opportunity to exercise. Think of it like taking your car out onto the highway to blow out the carburetor. I am not a fan of horror movies but I have to tell you I felt I was on an amusement park attraction while I watched this horror thriller. The other thing that surprised me was the amount of humor interjected into the story. Newcomer Andrew Jacobs played Jesse who lived in an apartment building with his grandmother in Oxnard, California. After finding a strange bite mark on his arm; Jesse’s friends Hector and Marisol, played by Jorge Diaz (Filly Brown, American Trash) and newcomer Gabrielle Walsh, noticed a strange change taking place over their friend. Having never seen any of the previous installments of this movie franchise, I found the setting and use of an all Hispanic cast refreshing from the usual scary movies I have seen in the past. The thing I found odd was the times Spanish was spoken there were no translations. Though there were elements of surprise, one could easily figure out what the cast was about to do and where they were going in the film. As I mentioned earlier the humor used in the movie added a fun element for me. Horror fans who want to see blood and violence will be disappointed with this picture, there was very little of it. The use of handheld filming was annoying to me after a while, though there were at least some creative angles in the filming. For a scary film this one was more like a light sanitized version; however by the end, I felt my nervous and circulatory systems got a decent workout. A couple of brief scenes showed blood.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Last Days on Mars
On Saturday afternoons there was a television program that exposed me to some strange creatures. I remember watching a being that had the limbs of a human but was totally covered in scales like a fish, living in a dark lagoon. Tomatoes which never frightened me before were now wreaking havoc on innocent citizens with their massive weight. When I was little you would always find me in front of our television set on Saturdays watching this program, where each week the uniformed host would introduce a new movie. As I got older I started to figure out that the space aliens attacking Earth had aluminum foil wrapped around their heads and the colossal woman was not fifty feet tall; there was a split screen which explained my confusion on why there was never any interaction between her and anyone else. All of these movies served some level of entertainment. Looking back at those times I can easily say some of the films are now considered campy. With today’s movie review, this science fiction horror thriller took itself too seriously to be considered campy. A small group of space explorers on the planet Mars was completing their duties as they prepared for their return trip back to Earth. Their plans were disrupted when an evil force started to attack them and try to pick them off one at a time. Liev Schreiber (Salt, Defiance) as Commander Vincent Campbell did his best to battle the unknown force; however, I was completely perplexed why he even agreed to do this film. I felt the story was an amalgamation of several other movies, finding nothing new or exciting. The character Kim Aldrich, played by Olivia Williams (An Education, The Sixth Sense), was a Ripley wannabe from the Alien franchise as far as I could tell. The special effects were substandard to the point of almost being laughable. I have been sitting here racking my brain out to find something redeeming to say about this awful film and all I can come up with is the fact it did not have anything offensive in a hateful way. Do yourself a favor and go rent one of those campy movies from the 1950’s or 60’s, taking a pass on this film that was horrific for the wrong reasons. There were scenes of violence and blood.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Carrie
It will all depend on what type of experience you had in school to see what you found scary in this horror film remake. If you were poplar, smart, participated in some type of sports activity or involved in any type of club, chances are you will find the bloodshed and killings mortifying in this movie. But if you were picked on, bullied or did not quite fit in with the majority of your classmates; the actions of the students in this drama will be scarier for you. For those of you who read my review of the original film back in the beginning of November 2012, you know this movie has special meaning for me. My high school years were rough; the first week I was punched in the stomach because I was the only student in class who knew the composer Ludwig van Beethoven. Things only got worse for me afterwards. So, I had some hesitation to see this updated version. Chloe Grace Moretz (Hugo, Let Me In) took on the iconic role of Carrie White, the shy quiet student who discovered she had a special talent. I thought Chloe did an admirable job in the role. The issue I had with her version had more to do with the script. I understand I am comparing this film to the original but I feel I should mention it. With this script Carrie came across as being slightly aggressive. Where Sissy Spacek portrayed confusion and shock regarding her special power; this Carrie seemed to relish her secret gift. It gave the gymnasium scene a different attitude in my opinion. Julianne Moore (Don Jon, What Maise Knew), who I think is a wonderful actress, did a crazier version of Carrie’s zealously religious mother Margaret White. The rest of the cast did not stand out for me compared to Julianne and Chloe. I think part of the reason had to do with their characters. Seeing the mean teasing being done to Carrie caused an immediate reaction inside of me. My body kept tensing up as my brain tried going numb, just as it did in high school when I would see one of the bullies walking towards me. If you have never seen the original movie, you might be interested in seeing this one. To be honest with you, I still prefer the original one directed by Brian De Palma (Scarface, The Untouchables). There were several scenes where blood was shown.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: You’re Next
Standing across the crowded room you spot your friends talking to several unfamiliar people. As you walk up to them, one of your friends says something that causes the entire group to burst out with laughter. Asking what was so funny, one of your friends tells you the story was too long to repeat; that you needed to be there from the beginning. The laughter has calmed down to a few sporadic chuckles as you stand there feeling like an outsider. I felt the same way as I watched this horror movie. If this film was supposed to be a spoof or a black comedy, I wished someone would have told me, because I might have had a different reaction. Paul and Aubrey Davison, played by Rob Moran (Dumb & Dumber, Shallow Hal) and Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator, From Beyond) were having a family get-together at their recently purchased home. The weekend holiday quickly turned into a fight for survival when family members and their guests were being targeted for death by a small group of masked murderers. For the horror movie fans there were more than enough brutal, bloody scenes that also had a creative flair. I was amused by how stereotypical the rivalry was between the three brothers Drake, Crispian and Felix; played by Joe Swanberg (LOL, V/H/S), AJ Bowen (The Signal, The House of the Devil) and Nicholas Tucci (Choose, Undocumented). I will say I liked the angle the writers were going for with the character Erin, played by Sharni Vinson (Step Up 3D, Home and Away-TV). However, I was confused by the script; it was so cheesy I had to wonder if I was missing some big joke. Though I did not find anything funny in this movie, some of the people around me laughed at a few scenes. Most of my time was spent either being bored or cringing at the gruesome scenes. When I think of a horror movie, I consider the elements of suspense, surprise and shock to be part of the equation; there was a limited amount of them in this story. In a comedy, I expect to hear some jokes or see scenes with physical humor; I honestly do not know if the writers intended to instill laughter as part of the viewing experience. So what did I wind up seeing at the movie theater? I honestly did not know nor did I care. There were multiple scenes of violence and blood.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Black Rock
When my adult eyes gazed at my former high school classmates, I saw images of their younger selves floating in front of their now aged bodies. The memories I had of each one hovered above them like a cluster of balloons that I could easily reach out and hold on to, reliving our times together once again. When I went up to my best friend from high school who I had not seen for all these years, our memories of certain events were different. I had no idea that some of my actions were as hurtful to him as his were to me. Whether I wanted to blame it on our youth or inability to communicate our true feelings back then; it did not matter for the damage was done. Within the confines of our high school class reunion festivities, we tried to figure out how our paths became unpaved and broken; but time had built a bridge that took us away from each other. This type of discord between friends was apparent in this movie thriller. Kate Bosworth’s (Blue Crush, 21) character Sarah tricked her feuding friends Abby and Lou, played by Katie Aselton (The Puffy Chair, Cyrus) and Lake Bell (It’s Complicated, What Happens in Vegas) into a weekend trip to a remote island off the coast of Maine, that they had visited when they were teenagers. The trip was intended to heal old wounds but when the three women met hunters from a nearby camp, their weekend of healing became a night of terror. I thought the set up for this horror film was okay, just not original. In fact, there was nothing creative about the story. The acting was marginal for the most part; however, I will say the fight scenes had an intensity that surprised me. The latter part of the film kept my interest with its action and sense of impending gloom. This movie would not be something you needed to go out of your way to see; but, if you had a couple of hours with nothing to do, it would be something to pop in and watch. There were scenes of violence with blood.
1 3/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: The Conjuring
The random clicking sound became deliberate, attracting my attention. It sounded as if it was near the kitchen door. My hand slowly slid around the dining room wall, looking for the light switch before I would enter the kitchen. As the fluorescent fixture soaked the room in white light, I intently stared at the back door. The transom window was closed and what light spilled onto the back porch did not reveal anything lurking outside. A sigh of relief passed through my dry lips just as the floor behind me groaned under a sudden added weight. I spun around to a vacant room, shaken up by the noticeable sounds. Walking over to the television, I turned the sound up louder and waited for the return of my parents. You see, it was the first time I was left home alone without a babysitter. It was surprising how my imagination took those familiar sounds from my home and turned them into something sinister and threatening. That feeling of oncoming dread slithered its way throughout this thrilling film. After Carolyn and Roger Perron, played by Lili Taylor (The Haunting, High Fidelity) and Ron Livingston (The Cooler, Drinking Buddies), moved into their new home with their 5 children, unexplained incidents began to occur. When they seemed to turn aggressive, paranormal investigators Lorraine and Ed Warren, played by Vera Farmiga (Up in the Air, Source Code) and Patrick Wilson (Insidious, Watchmen), were asked to find an explanation for these hostile events. Director James Wan (Saw, Insidious) did a beautiful job of crafting an old-fashioned horror movie. The acting was formidable, especially from Vera and LIli. I was swept into the story partially because it did not use blood and gore to scare the audience; it made the viewers use their imaginations. For me, the middle of the movie played stronger compared to the beginning and end. This was a good old-time, scary film that will have you gripping your arm rests. A couple of brief scenes had blood in them.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: World War Z
Evolution may not be working in our favor after all. So many times I have heard, the only thing that will still be around centuries from now will be insects–cockroaches in particular. With an increased threat coming from newly discovered super bacteria and aggressive diseases, one has to wonder how safe mankind will be on this planet. I have already taken precautions by not letting anyone use my pen or telephone and I avoid all salad bars and buffets. Now according to this movie there is an even bigger threat to all of us. In one of the better suspenseful openings I have seen in an action movie, I was swept up into the drama of this story. Brad Pitt (Killing Them Softly, Moneyball) played United Nations investigator Gerry Lane. About to take a road trip with his wife Karin, played by Mirelle Enos (Gangster Squad, The Killing-TV), and their two children; Gerry would have to abandon them when Assistant Secretary General Thierry Umutoni, played by Fana Mokoena (Hotel Rwanda, Safe House), requested Gerry’s help in tracking down the source of the zombie attack on Philadelphia. Brad was very good playing a stoic, older action figure persona in this adventure film. The other stand out for me was Daniella Kertesz (Loving Anna-TV, Ha-Emet Ha’Eroma-TV) as Segen, the soldier assigned to protect Gerry. In the beginning of the movie, I found the special effects incredible as this constant tidal wave of zombies came across the movie screen. The surprise was how the director kept up the tension and suspense without the need of blood and gore, to scare the audience. Unfortunately, a film cannot sustain itself without a solid story and here was the wink link. I never really understood what Gerry had done for the United Nations that led him to be their “go to” man. The world aspect of this story was great, but there was no depth; it started to become one chase scene after another, after another. I heard the book was quite different then this movie. Also, the ending had to be re-written and reshot. It appeared as a lead-in for a sequel. The use of scientific logic in this film was a brilliant idea…and a scary one at the same time. There were a couple of brief scenes with blood.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Lords of Salem
Hiding under the basement staircase was a poor choice. The sound of the slow, heavy footsteps descending the stairs echoed louder. Across from me was my only means of exiting: a brand new door. One of its metal locks caught the dull wisp of moonlight through the nearby glass block window, reflecting it to me, hoping to entice me. I tried steadying my breath, since I could hear my heart beating in my ears. The sound of footsteps was no longer audible. Though I had no idea who broke into my house, I knew they were going to kill me. As I thought about making a run for the door, a thick warm hand from behind gripped my throat. I tried to scream but the sound was cut-off at my Adam’s apple, while the hand squeezed harder. The last thing I remembered was gagging as I felt a foul breath spreading across the back of my head. Jarred awake from catching my breath, beads of sweat were traveling towards my beard. Last autumn I experienced this same dream for several consecutive days. I still have not figured it all out, but I would rather experience it again then sit through this horror movie for a 2nd time. This was my first encounter with one of director Rob Zombie’s (House of 1000 Corpses, Halloween) films. Sheri Moon Zombie (The Devil’s Rejects, Halloween) played recovering addict Heidi Hawthorne. She along with both Hermans, played by Jeff Daniel Phillips (Faster, Unknown) and Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead, Water for Elephants) hosted a local radio show in Salem, Massachusetts. After playing a record she received as a gift, Heidi began to experience disturbing images in her dreams. Was she suffering flashbacks or was there some meaning to the gruesome scenes? The movie actually caught my attention early with its fresh, edgy filming and plot set up. But as the story progressed; things fell apart, losing any tension that had been building up. The director, I have read, was proud to make this movie on a low budget. I am happy for him, but the scenes suffered with their cheap props. It was embarrassing to see Bruce Davison (X-Men franchise, Harry and the Hendersons) and Dee Wallace (E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, Cujo) in this film. I understand the fun of putting older celebrities into a film, but at least write them a good role. This was a nightmare of a movie and that is not a compliment. There were multiple scenes of blood and gore.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Evil Dead
Before I began writing movie reviews here, I had my own rating system for films. It was pretty simple: do I want to spend money to see it on the big screen, wait for it to come out on DVD or catch it one day on cable. After seeing a movie back then, I would email a group of my friends to tell them whether they could see the movie or not. You see I have a couple of friends who cannot see any trace of blood. Then there is one friend who cannot see anything violent, whether it involves humans or animals. These friends were the impetus for me starting this movie review site. As this site has grown, I feel it is necessary for me to cover all genres of movies; so there would be something for everyone. It is for these reasons I went to see this horror film. Five friends met at a remote cabin where they accidentally summoned evil spirits that were hell-bent on possessing the friends until death. The friends were played by Jane Levy (Nobody Walks, Fun Size) as Mia, Shiloh Fernandez (Red Riding Hood, Deadgirl) as David, Lou Taylor Pucci (Beginners, Horsemen) as Eric, Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield, She’s the Man) as Olivia and relative newcomer Elizabeth Blackmore as Natalie. There are times where it can be a fine line between horror and comedy; this film was a joke and I am not sure if that was the movie studio’s intentions. When the gore and blood is so over the top, it just becomes a comical mess. It was amazing to see how the body could keep on going as it was being dismembered. There was absolutely nothing of value in this remake; nothing new, nothing scary, nothing worthwhile. I will say for those who enjoy being grossed out this movie should provide you with enough sickening scenes to fill a vomitorium. Not that my friends would even consider seeing a movie like this; but just in case, multiple scenes of blood and gore throughout the movie.
1 star
moviejoltz 