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Flash Movie Review: Uglies
GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE, I was not expecting it to be such a disturbing experience. I can remember it like it just happened, in aisle three; I bumped into a woman I had not seen for several years. She recognized me first; she had to because I did not recognize her at all. As we began conversing with each other, I tried studying her face without being too obvious. I was positive her face was the result of having plastic surgery. Trying to recall what she used to look like, I could not see anything that was wrong with her original face. She had wrinkles down her neck, an outburst of tiny ones that spread beyond her eyes and a few wrinkles across her forehead, just like so many other people of her age. I do remember how much she worshipped the sun to the point where her skin looked like tanned leather. Now, I was looking at a face that was utterly void of lines and creases. Her eyeballs looked like they had sunken further into her skull and more distressing than that, they were not symmetrical. I was so self-conscious about looking at her too intently. The lips on her face were nothing I remembered; these were overripe and stiff. Honestly, her face looked like all the emotions and expressions from it had been sucked off. I HOPE YOU DO NOT THINK I am judgmental; I feel a person can do whatever they want if it makes them feel good. I just do not understand the point of cosmetic surgery. If someone is born with a birthmark that they feel is distractive, then they have the right to eliminate it. My philosophy with my dermatologist is “if I was not born with it, then get rid of it.” As I am getting older, I have noticed moles popping up on my skin. I will have them checked out by the doctor then we will both decide whether they need to be removed or not, since skin cancer runs in my family. The part I do not understand are the individuals who want to take their features and accentuate them. Lips, for example, which are so out of proportion to the face look like two massive larvae resting below the nose. When the skin is pulled so tight across the face to the point it is barely flexible, I do not understand how that is considered pretty or better. Ultimately, I know it is the person’s decision to make and again, if it makes them feel better that is all that matters. Then again, I am the type of person that focuses more on what is inside the person, unlike what was happening to the inhabitants in this action, adventure fantasy. HAVING GROWN UP IN A WORLD where everyone is considered ugly until they get their mandatory extreme cosmetic surgery, a young girl is totally perplexed when her friend decides to escape the confines of the city. The girl chooses to find her friend before it is too late. With Joey King (A Family Affair, The In Between) as Tally, Brianne Tju (Gone in the Night, Three Months) as Shay, Keith Powers (The Tomorrow War, Before I Fall) as David, Chase Stokes (Between Waves, Outer Banks-TV) as Peris, and Laverne Cox (Promising Young Woman, Orange is the New Black-TV) as Dr. Cable; this drama followed a standard path for this genre of story. I enjoyed watching Joey’s character and liked the idea of the story. However, I felt the writers could have done so much more with the story instead of just keeping the drama level close to one level. Parts of the movie felt like they were trying to imitate The Hunger Games franchise, except not as well. At least there were a few exciting moments; but I was ticked off by the ending. It is obvious the movie studio is hoping to turn this into a long running franchise by leaving the viewer hanging. This picture was not a pretty sight.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Despicable Me 4
TO ME, IT REPRESENTED THE ULTIMATE prize. I had two amusement parks, close enough to me, that were easy to get to with a single city transit bus when I was growing up. I was familiar with every ride at both parks and knew what foods to eat at each one. At one park, I would always get a sky-blue snow cone which was shaved ice with a sweet blue colored syrup poured over it. My favorite food to order at the other park was a mini hamburger; the quantities varied depending on how long I would stay at the park. Despite having two easily accessible amusement parks near me while growing up, all anyone talked about was the huge, national amusement parks out of state. Friends would come back from summer vacation and talk about all the different rides and attractions. They had breakfast with one cartoon character and lunch with a different one. There was never a negative comment; it all sounded like a dream coming true. Staying purposely at a motel/hotel near or at the park so you could go back the next day and the next if you chose, was simply unimaginable to my young mind. I was not envious, but I absolutely wanted to experience this for myself someday. It took several years before I could venture out and participate in everything I heard about these magical parks. MY FIRST TIME VISITING A NATIONAL amusement park, I accompanied family members. It was an amazing encounter to see for myself things I had only seen on television. We all had a wonderful time. A few years later I went by myself because one of the parks was holding a special event. I loved every minute of it and was on the go from dawn to bedtime. I met people from my hometown and hung out with them. When I came back and was telling my friends about the wonderful time I had, it was decided we would all have to go next year, which we did. By this time, it was my third time and despite enjoying the time with my friends, the rides and attractions were familiar enough to me that they lost that “wow” factor of surprise. I knew where the scary parts were, so I no longer jumped in my seat. The various musical backgrounds were turning into white noise; I no longer felt that excitement when I sat down and buckled myself into my seat. I wound up feeling the same when I watched this latest installment of the animated film franchise. WHEN AN OLD RIVAL VOWS TO get revenge, Gru, voiced by Steve Carrell (The Big Short, Welcome to Marwen), must take his family and go into hiding; all with new identities. How long will it be before they will be discovered and will Gru be able to defend his family against this new villain? With Kristen Wiig (Where’d You Go, Bernadette; Wonder Woman 1984) voicing Lucy, Joey King (A Family Affair, Bullet Train) voicing Poppy Prescott, Will Ferrell (Quiz Lady, Blades of Glory) voicing Maxime and Sofia Vergara (Chef, Modern Family-TV) voicing Valentina; this adventure comedy had all the same elements as the previous films except a good script. At least the actors did a decent job voicing their characters. The Minions as usual were fun to watch and the animation was well done. However, the script did not provide anything new except some confusion. For young viewers, they will get a kick out of seeing this movie. But, for their parents and older viewers, there was truly little above the standard fare. I was bored in parts and honestly did not find much to make me laugh. It may be time to give Gru and the Minions a rest; they deserve it. There were Minions acting out during the ending credits.
2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Bullet Train
IT IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION FOR me whenever I am attending a dinner party, where I am not familiar to the host. It occurs when I am going as someone’s guest or attending a family function, where different people are contributing to the meal. I admit I am a fussy eater; add to that, I also am a visual and texture eater. If something does not look appealing to me then I am not interested in tasting it. I know these are my quirks; I do not pretend to hide or be embarrassed by them. However, I do not expect anyone to conform to my eating habits. This is why I get uncomfortable when going to dinner at someone’s house who is not familiar with me. My friends are thoughtful and usually will tell the host I do not eat onions or red meat; and I am appreciative of their actions. Many a times, the host will adjust their menu to accommodate me; but this is the part that makes me uncomfortable. I do not want them to change what they planned; I can eat around anything placed on a dinner table. There have been get togethers where the host has made two of the same dishes, one with onions and the other without. I do not want them to do such a thing; I can pick out the onions or just not put any of it on my dish, no big deal. MY NOT WISHING TO CHANGE SOMEONE to fit my needs is a belief that I had to grow into; it was not something that came organically. I used to be one of those individuals who readily told people what they should do. I would see or listen to a person dealing with a problem and I would immediately tell them what they needed to do, whether they asked for my advice or not, it did not matter. Through a time of self-discovery and awareness, I realized it was part of my control issues. If someone asked me for my advice, it was okay to offer it; but not to swoop in and take on their issues. My eyes were opened to the point I could recognize when others were trying to “take charge” or convince someone to do something differently. I know this is my opinion, but I find those individuals who preach and try to convert people are no different than me trying to change a friend’s mind to do something I like to do. Just because, let us say, I like to skydive does not mean you have to do it now. However, in this action, comedy thriller it was amusing to see how the main character tried convincing people to his way of thinking. HOPING THE JOB WOULD BE EASY and peaceful, an assassin has a tough time staying calm when he is stuck on a high-speed passenger train in Japan with other assassins. With Brad Pitt (The Lost City, By the Sea) as Ladybug, Joey King (The Conjuring, The In Between) as Prince, Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Nocturnal Animals, Kick-Ass franchise) as Tangerine, Brian Tyree Henry (Widows, Hotel Artemis) as Lemon and Andrew Koji (Snake Eyes, Warrior-TV) as Kimura; I felt the movie was made more for the cast than the viewer. It was obvious the cast was having fun with their characters. Joey stood out for me with her acting ability. There was a lot of violence and blood throughout the film; but at least the fight scenes were well done, and I enjoyed the witty dialog. The script was uneven, eventually losing steam as it headed towards the end, which was a jumble. There was no character development; and, in this case, I was okay with it. I felt the whole story was put together like a board game and the characters were just game pieces. Pretty much, this type of story has been done before and done better; however, it was still fun to watch the craziness that all took place on a bullet train.
2 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Slender Man
WHILE LOOKING AT OLD PHOTOGRAPHS I could not stop asking myself what was I thinking to wear such a thing. I understand part of the fashion industry’s mission is to constantly update clothing trends, so consumers will buy clothes for every season of every year. If all we wore was a pair of blue jeans and a plain cotton shirt, the clothing manufacturers would not last long. As far as I am concerned there is no reason to ever wear pleated pants; this is just my opinion. The clothing choices I saw in my old photos could be classified more as a fad. I do not mean to disrespect any culture or group of people, but there really was no reason I needed to wear puka shells/beads around my neck. There was a time where wearing puka beads was considered cool; I have no idea why but as I saw other people wearing them, I decided I needed them. Another fad I went through was Nehru and surfer shirts. I cannot remember when these items were a fad but all of us wore them. In fact, it was extra cool to wear a Nehru collared shirt with puka beads around the neck. Please do not judge me but at one point I even made my own puka bead necklaces. IN WRITING THIS REVIEW TODAY I looked up other fads from the past and came up with a variety of items. There was the Slap Bracelet, Garbage Pail Kids, Push Pops and Jelly shoes. Most fads, such as the ones listed, were innocuous; they are what I consider a singular fad because you do not need anyone to participate along with you. However, there are some fads that have a darker side. What may start out as a fad could turn into a cult. I have to wonder if the flash mob videos that were posted online was the spark that lead individuals to start posting more and more daring or unusual events. Do you remember the Ice Bucket Challenge? It was a novel idea created for a good cause; but, do you think it could be the first step in people trying more difficult and dangerous challenges to gain notoriety? The subject of today’s film started as a fad that I saw in the news led two Wisconsin 12-year old girls to lure their friend into the woods to stab her multiple times, just to impress this fictional character who stars in this horror, mystery film. WHILE A GROUP OF FRIENDS START to check out the internet stories about the Slender Man, one of them goes missing. Starring Joey King (White House Down, The Conjuring) as Wren, Julia Goldani Telles (The Affair-TV, Bunheads-TV) as Hallie, Jaz Sinclair (Paper Towns, When the Bough Breaks) as Chloe, Annalise Basso (Captain Fantastic, Oculus) as Katie and newcomer Alex Fitzalan as Tom; I cannot think of one positive thing to say about this incredibly, poorly thought out movie. The acting was basic; add in the dull script and it was close to painful to sit and watch this mess. I thought the special effects were a total joke. Taking a telephoto camera lens and moving it quickly back and forth from near to far did not produce anything close to scariness for the scene; if anything, it simply made me dizzy. I was not familiar with the Slender Man; but if one should be fearful of him, this picture did not place him in the proper light. There was nothing scary or suspenseful in the story. If this character of the Slender Man was supposed to be sinister, then the writers completely missed the point. My deepest wish is for this fad to go away; I never want to see a sequel or hear about him again.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Wish Upon
“YOU’RE wishing your life away” is what she told me. I was complaining about having to go to a social function I did not want to attend and my friend told me I needed to stop wishing things were over. Explaining my reasons for not wanting to attend, she pointed out there was no choice in the matter since I was required to attend; so why keep complaining about it because nothing is going to change. She was right; there really was nothing I could do about the situation. Of course, that did not stop me from complaining and wishing I did not have to go to the event. I am so used to or maybe it is better to say I have been programmed for so many years to wish things away; let me tell you why. DEPENDING on my age I have spent a majority of my youth wishing certain things were different. As a young boy I wanted to fly or at least be invisible; when you cannot be seen you cannot get hurt. When I learned how to bowl it seemed it was a long time before my wish came true to throw a strike. By the time I was in high school my wish list expanded greatly. Besides wishing myself away I also wished something bad would happen to my tormentors. The list of “bad things” is way too long to list here; let me just say some of the wishes included burning, drowning and torture. These wishes created if you will an alternative world where I was in control and not getting hurt. During that time I did have other wishes like wanting to be skinny, strong and a world traveler. Correct me if I am wrong in my assumption but I do not think I was the only one who had wishes. Based on how many people I have seen at the convenience store buying lottery tickets, it seems many people wish for something to happen in their lives. Another example is the high school girl in this fantasy, horror thriller. FINDING an unusual discarded Chinese box Clare Shannon, played by Joey King (Wish I Was Here, Independence Day: Resurgence), discovered what she wished for would come true. What she did not know was the price that needed to be paid to make that wish turn into reality. With a cast that included Ryan Phillippe (The Lincoln Lawyer, Cruel Intentions) as Jonathan Shannon, Ki Hong Lee (The Maze Runner franchise, The Stanford Prison Experiment) as Ryan Hui and newcomer Mitchell Slaggert as Paul Middlebrook; this story had a decent idea that quickly dropped into the dumpster. There was nothing scary per se; just a few scenes of violence. If the writers were trying to unnerve the viewer with tension I did not see anything worthwhile. At one point I felt sad for the actors because the script was so typical it was easy to figure out what the next scene would be. I did not find the acting anything to write home about; it was close to forgettable though I was drawn most to Joey and Ki with their roles. For a majority of this film I sat in my seat feeling bored; wishing I did not have to be there, stuck watching it. Oh there I go again wishing for something to be over; but in this case, I feel I was justified. There were violent scenes and in the middle of the credits there was an extra scene.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Wish I Was Here
At some point nearly everyone has to cross the intersection of uncertainty. It may happen when you are about to become a responsible adult; for others, it could be when you come upon that mental juncture between what you do in life as opposed to what you want to do. There are so many variables on when we travel up to that crossroads during our lifetime. I have heard many people complain about their job and how it does not fulfill them; it simply is a means to earning an income. However, when they reach this intersection during their life they pause a moment to question if this is all their life will ever be. I am a firm believer in doing something you love which will nourish you. A previous job is what I credit for pushing me to explore and teach yoga. Back then my days lost color, faded into a monotone of gray colors. All I did was work, eat and sleep then repeat it all over the following day. I felt I was on a one speed treadmill with no off switch. It was during that time I realized I needed physical and mental stimulation; otherwise, I felt I was going to wither off the vine of life and be discarded in time. TIME seemed to be slipping away for struggling actor Aidan Bloom, played by Zach Braff (Oz the Great and Powerful, Scrubs-TV). Finding himself at a crossroads when his father Gabe, played by Mandy Patinkin (The Princess Bride, Chicago Hope-TV), took ill and could no longer help out financially, Aidan had to take a hard look at his life and how he would provide for his family. Directed and co-written by Zach, this comedic drama had some good elements. I thought the cast all worked well together, especially Kate Hudson (Almost Famous, Bride Wars) as Aidan’s wife Sarah, Joey King (Looper, The Crazies) as his daughter Grace and Josh Gad (Jobs, The Internship) as his brother Noah. There was an understated humor through several scenes, nothing out loud or outrageous. The multitude of story lines was the issue I had with this film. They cast a wide net, allowing many viewers the opportunity to find something relatable; however, it was way too much for me and congested the underlying story. I never found a strong connection to anything in the movie; I became uninterested and left with a blah feeling towards the whole picture. With all the movies I have seen I cannot imagine I have reached a crossroads in my reviewing. Nah, I still love what I am doing; I just wish some of the people who worked on this film felt the same way.
2 stars
moviejoltz 