Author Archives: moviejoltz
Flash Movie Review: Norm of the North
The human race has created many beautiful things throughout the centuries. Some of them remain standing today while others over time were demolished, either for something newer or in the name of progress. What I find hideous is when the people in power decide to placate the local residents by saving the facade of a structure they are tearing down only to paste it onto the building they are constructing in the same spot. It does not matter that there is not architectural connection between the two. For me a more lasting beauty is what nature creates all around us. I have been extremely lucky to have visited some of the national parks across the United States. From a geyser to a canyon to a mountain peak, I have seen places that have not been touched by a human hand. Can you imagine if there comes a time where, let us say, an electronic billboard is erected in a national park? Or how about if a hotel or gift shop is constructed next to natural stone arches or powerful waterfalls? I for one would consider it a crime to spoil such natural, pristine beauty that is here on this planet. Not everything has to be new and fresh to be considered a natural beauty (good advice for some celebrities); I do not know when our values changed to discard old objects or look at a place and determine how it can generate money. It is this type of message that was the focus of this animated film. WHEN real estate developer Mr. Greene, voiced by Ken Jeong (Ride Along 2, Community-TV), commits to building condos in the Arctic home of Norm, voiced by Rob Schneider (50 First Dates, The Hot Chick), the talking polar bear decides to travel to American to change Mr. Greene’s mind. I have to be blunt and right to the point here; this adventure comedy was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. It was startling to say the least. The animation was poor, story weak, jokes both lame and inappropriate; I ask you what child needs to see a twerking polar bear? What in the world possessed Heather Graham (Boogie Nights, The Hangover franchise) as Vera and especially Bill Nighy (About Time, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel franchise) as Socrates to take part in this disaster? The movie studio behind this film, as far as I know, is not known for creating animated pictures and it showed. I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you the children in the audience never reacted to anything on the screen while most of the parents were either focusing on their snacks or smart phones. The only reason I am including an extra 1/4 star to the rating is because the message was sound, not that young children would understand the concept here. This movie was as lame as this joke: this film left me cold.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ride Along 2
It is hard to tell someone what they are attempting to do is not very good. I am not referring to someone’s behavior or actions per se, more as a reality check to a person’s desire. Many of you may have seen these reality shows where a person auditions to be part of the program, as a singer or dancer. I am all for encouraging a person to pursue their dreams, but some of the people I have seen on these television shows appear to have been chosen solely to amuse the viewing audience. I find it perplexing that the contestant claims their family and friends said they would make a great singer or dancer, when it is obvious they cannot carry a tune or stay on beat. Remembering one of my writing classes, there was a student who wanted to be a writer. Through class discussions we found out his family encouraged him by holding mini story times for him to read his stories to the family. Based on what he read in our class, his stories tended to follow a formula: the endings always involved someone dying and the use of profanity was meant to shock the reader since its use rarely fit his characters. He did pass the class but by junior year he either dropped out of school or changed majors; I never saw him again. I do not think anyone wants or enjoys having to be the one to perform the reality check, but isn’t it preferable to watching the person go through with some ill-advised life decisions based on unrealistic hopes? There was a similar situation taking place in this comedic sequel. BEN Barber, played by Kevin Hart (The Wedding Ringer, Get Hard), was positive he was on the right path to becoming a permanent police officer when he accompanied his future brother-in-law Detective James Payton, played by Ice Cube (21 Jump Street franchise, Barbershop franchise), to Miami to help solve a case. James was convinced Ben could not handle the pressure. If you saw the original movie and enjoyed it then you will be in store for the exact same thing in this film. I first have to say I do not consider Kevin an actor; he is exactly the same in every role I have seen him in previously. Regarding this action picture, there were many aspects of it that irritated me. The jokes about Kevin’s height (is this a requirement for every one of his movies?), the jokes about the two characters becoming brother-in-laws and the lack of a solid story all contributed to my boredom. However I did enjoy Ken Jeong (The Hangover franchise, All About Steve) as A.J. and Benjamin Bratt (Miss Congeniality, Demolition Man) as Antonio Pope. This film as far as I was concerned was a quick money grab by the movie studio. Someone needs to tell them they are not producing a decent product if this is what they come up with for a sequel.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Perfect Host
If you plan on serving one dessert per person then your dinner party will be a success. At least that is my philosophy when it comes to having people over for dinner. I am more confident with my baking skills than my cooking abilities; so I figure if the main course flops I can at least have my guests leave with full bellies from the variety of desserts out on the dining room table. The reason I am still timid with cooking is because my past dinner parties involved ordering in food, like pizza. Only recently have I ventured into creating home cooked meals. I do not know why things changed, but I know there is something special about sitting down with friends and family to share a meal. Preparing the meal and watching people experience a positive feeling from the things I created is a real trip for me. It stimulates my creative side and forms a memorable bond. In fact, I always insist my guests take food home with them because I believe when they go to eat the leftovers; the memory of our time together will solidify in their mind and heart. To me this is one of the foundations that makes for a successful dinner party. As host it is my job to conduct the party’s events, from appetizers all the way to desserts and snacks. I am a sucker for new products which means I always include something new for everyone to taste; it is sort of like having our own focus group. Even with all the things I do my diner parties pale in comparison to the one in this comedic crime thriller. CRIMINAL John Taylor, played by Clayne Crawford (A Walk to Remember, The Baytown Outlaws), needed to lay low and thought he found the perfect place. It was the house of Warwick Wilson, played by David Hyde Pierce (The Fisher King, Frasier-TV), who was in the middle of preparing a dinner party when John rang his doorbell. This film festival winner’s story was a bit off the wall in an odd sort of way. There was a mixture of whimsical and threatening scenes, some seemed implausible. Along with Tyrees Allen (12 Angry Men, RoboCop) as Roman and Megahn Perry (The Convent, The Gravedancers) as Simone De Marchi, the cast was fine. David Hyde Pierce did his best with the role, though the character had similarities to David’s previous acting roles. There was nothing great about this movie but I enjoyed the surprise twists and what I can only call the looniness in the script. It was that craziness that wore the action down in my opinion. I did not fine this film to be a true thriller; it was more like a light version. On DVD this film was okay; it certainly is not a must see type of thing to watch. I would not choose it for a dinner and movie night at my house. There were multiple scenes that showed blood.
2 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Anomalisa
There are times where it is easier to connect with a stranger than a person you know. I witness this multiple times as an instructor or when I am out of synch with my daily routine. Ah yes the daily routine; you know, where we get set into a pattern and begin repeating it every day. If there was a contest I absolutely would be a finalist since I find comfort and calmness in keeping a routine. When I am out of my daily rituals, like on vacation, I become more available to strike up a conversation with strangers. Taking it a step further I find it easy to have a conversation with a blind date. Recently I was out with a friend and we were talking about dating. They have a 2 date limit; in other words, if they do not feel something after 2 dates they end it. They said the hardest part of the process was being honest and telling the person they are not interested. I absolutely agree because though it is hard, I feel it is harder not to say anything and leave a person in limbo hoping things just drift apart. What I find even worse is when a person stops communicating, ignoring your texts and phone calls. I wonder if the ease in talking or not talking to a stranger is because a person can be whoever they want to be, since there is no history between them. Maybe they relish the opportunity to reinvent themselves and in turn become more open or available for new experiences. This Oscar nominated, animated movie showed more feelings than many humans I have met. AUTHOR Michael Stone, voiced by David Thewlis (The Theory of Everything, Seven Years in Tibet), was traveling out of state to be the guest speaker at a convention. His life was about to change thanks to convention attendee Lisa Hesselman, voiced by Jennifer Jason Leigh (The Hateful Eight, Road to Perdition). This film festival winner brilliantly used stop motion animation that brought the puppets alive. With a script that was part comedy, part drama; I became fascinated with the story, losing sense that these puppets were not real people. It was a surreal experience for me. There were several astute observations about the human condition throughout the script thanks to co-writer and co-director Charlie Kaufman (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation). It did take time for me to actually get into the story; I found the beginning of the movie slow. By the way this is absolutely not a film for young people since the puppets get into adult situations. Overall I was most impressed with the technical aspects of this picture; it must have taken an incredibly long time to get the puppets to move in such a seamless way. From the script there certainly was enough situations that would lend themselves to topics of conversation afterwards. I would have liked to have heard what other people were saying about the movie, but I was on my schedule and had to leave the theater.
3 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Trailer: Cafe De Flore
The sun’s light provides you with vitamin D. If you get too much sunlight you could damage your skin, even get a disease. Water is a vital component in maintaining a healthy body, however too much of it could wash out important nutrients or do something worse to your body. There are some people who fill their life with extremes. You may have heard someone say, “they play hard” or “party hard,” which means the individual does something to excess. I used to work with someone who would constantly come into the office hung over from a night of drinking. There are just some people who do not have the word “moderation” in their vocabulary. If I think about it is there anything one can do to an extreme without it being harmful in some way? At the health club I have seen people work out for hours; it cannot be healthy since they not only look like skeletons, they are creating hormonal changes in their bodies. Or have you ever been with someone who quickly wants to become part of your life? I have dated a couple of these individuals and I have to tell you I found it creepy. You may have experienced something like it. They start liking the same things you do, start using your funny catch phrases or sayings and want to be with you every minute of the day. Whether you say excessive or obsession it is not a good thing. A relationship with obsessive love will be an unhealthy one, filled with side effects. SUCCESSFUL Montreal based DJ Antoine Godin’s, played by Kevin Parent (The Calling, La Maison du Pecheur), love ended his marriage. Parisian native Jacqueline, played by Vanessa Paradis (Fading Gigolo, Heartbreaker), experienced the same thing but for totally different reasons. This dramatic romance had two parallel stories running at the same time: one set in Paris during the 1960s and the other in present day Montreal. It was not hard going back and forth between the stories in this film festival winning movie because each of them covered weighty topics. The actors were well suited to handle the script; they kept things interesting for me. There was an element of mystery or maybe I should say suspense in the way the stories revealed little things that tried to tie the two together; however, I could not figure it out. It had the feeling of mysticism or psychic connection I believe, as several scenes introduced were dream sequences. This was confusing for me. Separately I was interested in each story though I was more involved with the story line for Jacqueline. I am guessing many viewers of this film have seen or reacted similarly to the actions of the characters; that is what kept my interest. However, I felt if the movie studio had done two separate films for the stories each would have been stronger. French was spoken with English subtitles.
2 1/4 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: The Forest
It was a couple of months or so ago where I read a news article about a set of twins, two sisters. They were in their late 80s, living on opposite sides of the country. They each were married with grown children. Based on what I read about them they seemed to have led an “ordinary” life; in other words there was nothing extreme that befell either of them. Now the reason why I was even reading about them was due to their death, which was the headline of their story. One of the sisters had died of a heart attack and within less than an hour later the other sister died of the same thing. There wasn’t time to even tell the living sister about her twin’s death. Some people who read this article would say how sad it was that the sisters could not say goodbye to the other, while others might say each of the women did not have to experience the sadness of losing their sister. I think both trains of thought are valid. The first set of twins I met was in high school. Actually the school had several sets which fascinated me even more. The reason being some sets were identical both in personality and physicality, but others looked the same but totally different in temperament; I am talking the perfect examples for what was a good and a bad conscious. But what really intrigued me was the special silent bond the siblings shared with each other. Without uttering a word a set of twins could still communicate with each other on, what I interpreted it to be, a psychic level; similar to what was taking place with the twins in this horror film. SARA, played by Natalie Dormer (Rush, Game of Thrones-TV), felt it deeply; her twin sister Jess was in trouble somewhere in the Aokigahara Forest at the foot of Mt. Fuji in Japan. Even the forest’s nickname, “Suicide Forest,” would not stop Sara from finding her sister. The cast which included Taylor Kinney (The Other Woman, Chicago Fire-TV) as Aiden and Eoin Macken (Centurion, Merlin-TV) as Rob did a good job of acting. I enjoyed the outdoor scenes which lent themselves to an almost mythical atmospheric platform for the characters to play with as the story progressed. The horror was more psychological based than gruesome terror. Too bad the script was poorly written because there was nothing scary or suspenseful in this movie. I kept waiting for something to happen besides the sudden sound or strange appearance in a scene but no luck. There were more groans in the theater than in this film. The idea for the story was sound. The cast was capable, the setting was fine; but nothing was done to utilize them to their best advantage. What scared me was a scene that looked like it could be a prelude to a sequel; I certainly hope I am wrong.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Revenant
The far reaching white expanse was marred by deep fissures that revealed touches of crystal blue running water. It almost looked like the ice had tears rolling down due to the frigid temperatures. The brightness reflecting off of all this ice made it difficult to shoot photos from my perch inside the helicopter. Once we landed on the ice I had the opportunity to take pictures but only if I left the warmth, comparatively speaking, from inside the chopper. As I stepped outside the still, frigid air settled on me like a bear hug. I felt my blood reversing course to go back and protect my internal organs, leaving my extremities to stiffen up from the cold. To take pictures I had to remove my gloves and I knew my fingers would quickly turn to rock solid stumps. The only way I cold function was to quickly snap multiple photos at a single time, alternating with the taking off and putting on of my bulky gloves. I grew up in a place that had 4 seasons, so I was used to the winter months; however here in Alaska, the cold seemed more intense. Maybe it was because there were no man made structures around just wide open spaces with the occasional rolled up snow drifts and broken ice chunks. Where I was visiting in Alaska there were no human inhabitants; I could not even imagine human life venturing to this area. Pristine and untouched, yet silently able to extinguish life with its icy breath it was all the more reason why I found this dramatic adventure film something special. CLOSE to death from a bear attack Hugh Glass, played by Leonardo DiCaprio (Inception, The Departed), was determined to stay alive in the unforgiving cold frontier. He had a special reason to reunite with his expedition. Inspired by true events this thriller was a monumental production. Included in the cast was Tom Hardy (Legend, Mad Max: Fury Road) as John Fitzgerald, Will Poulter (We’re the Millers, The Maze Runner) as Bridger and Domhnall Gleeson (About Time, Ex Machina) as Captain Andrew Henry; everyone deserved extra credit for the contribution they made to this incredible film. Both the directing and cinematography were outstanding. I especially admired the camera angles that were used in the shooting of multiple scenes. Honestly I do not know how the cast and crew survived such a long film shoot in such an inhospitable locale. There were a few cringeworthy scenes that included blood; I found myself squirming in my seat. Set in the 1820s this was a raw yet beautiful picture; the original soundtrack was a perfect accompaniment. At one point I had to keep reminding myself that the film studio would not want to lose anyone to the brutal elements so there had to be some protection set up for everyone. I have to tell you watching this film was like a workout for me; bundled up in my seat staring and cringing in disbelief.
3 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Carol
Seasoned eyes pause during their trek, scanning the room as they catch a reflection of themselves in someone else’s eyes. The stillness seems to have gone on for a long time, but no one around would have noticed anything different. The two sets of eyes unlock to continue on their way, knowing they will come back to this new laid trail to tread softly upon it once again. When they do this time a shadow of a smile escapes like a gentle sigh as the tiniest of lines appear at the corners of those eyes. The lines are proof that the eyes are settling in for a longer duration. Now here is where the sets of eyes may differ for each set is projecting a series of random images that have played before. A walk down by the lake, sitting at an outdoor cafe on a warm day, helping to take off a thick winter coat; the difference is the added appearance of the new person you have noticed across the room. They are pictures of a possible future that must return to the reality of the mind’s photo album. Some people are quite skilled at all of this because there is a strong sense of self. What happens though when that strong sense is missing? It has been called flirting, prowling, hunting and teasing; some individuals are blatant about it while others are more subdued. When the intentions come from a place of respect and affection any name would do. If the opportunity appears to experience a true and deep love, who would not want to embrace it? STORE clerk Theresa Belivet, played by Rooney Mara (Pan, Side Effects); found she suddenly felt different when she saw customer Carol Aird, played by Cate Blanchett (The Lord of the Rings franchise, Cinderella). It was not just the hat Carol was wearing. Directed by Todd Haynes (I’m Not There, Velvet Goldmine), this film festival winner was an exquisite visual period piece from the 1950s set in New York City. With Sarah Paulson (American Horror Story-TV, 12 Years a Slave) as Abby Gerhard and Kyle Chandler (The Wolf of Wall Street, Zero Dark Thirty) as Harge Aird; the acting was perfect for the story, in an intimate and refined way. I thought Rooney’s acting was one of her best performances. The costumes and sets were created with the utmost style for the era; I liked the look of them. I understood for the era there had to be a certain shall we say subtleness to the script; however, I felt it diminished my overall enjoyment in viewing this dramatic romance. In turn, the pacing tended to run slow for me. There were passages where the emotional level stayed consistent far too long; it needed more dramatic variance in my opinion. Watching this film was like getting a beautifully wrapped present that contained a sweater for you but just not in the right size.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Point Break
These machines were built for one’s enjoyment but if used in a certain way they would become torturous. I am not sure how many of you even know what a slide projector is but I have one in my possession. There was a time where people took pictures with cameras that used film; some of that film was meant to be developed into slides. A slide projector was used to display these types of photographs up onto a projection screen or a really, really white painted wall. I am a huge fan of photography having minored it in college. For me photos provide a visual history about a person. They have a way of letting us revisit a moment in time to re-experience the emotions we had back then. Whenever someone tells me they took pictures while on vacation I am the first to ask if I could see them. One of the reasons, besides seeing people enjoying themselves, is my being able to see places I have never seen or at least to see it through someone else’s eyes. A different perspective can enhance one’s own memories about a place. Now that I talked about the positive aspects, let me tell you about the unpleasantness one can encounter if the photo taker goes astray. You have been sitting for almost an hour while your host is showing you their photos from a recent trip. When you said you wanted to see them you had no idea there would be that many photos, photos of artificially flavored snow cones to their rental cars to clouds to benign forests to their motel room; you get the picture? If not, then try sitting through this action crime film. UNDERCOVER FBI agent Utah, played by Luke Bracey (The November Man, The Best of Me), needed to infiltrate a group of extreme sports athletes to solve an international crime case. The challenge would be to survive the death defying feats. The story for this crime film spanned the entire globe, offering spectacular outdoor scenes. I felt I was going through a collection of saved postcards from a world traveler. The action was intense, with stunts that were dumbfounding. With Edgar Ramirez (Joy, Deliver Us From Evil) as Bodhi and Ray Winstone (Hugo, The Departed) as Pappas being part of the cast, this movie was all about the visual experience; there was nothing else positive about the film. This remake barely resembled the original film; there was weak and cheesy dialog, bare minimum acting and a story that made little sense. Except for enjoying scenes from the different continents I was bored throughout the majority of this picture. It literally felt like I was being held hostage to sit through someone’s vacation pictures for however long was this movie’s running time. If I had a choice I would have preferred to stay home and wait for the characters to send me a postcard.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: 5 Broken Cameras
The playing field is never fair when the rules get changed in the middle of the game. This applies to any type of situation; I have experienced it at the office. We agree to sell a customer a product on net 30 terms then after it ships the customer tells us they will be making 3 monthly payments. They just decided to change the payment terms after the fact without ever discussing it prior to the sale. Some people would just say life is not fair and I get it; however, it still is offensive and frustrating to me. Besides seeing it on television shows I see it reported in the media how the rules change, where for example someone does not get convicted of a crime due to a technical detail or some such other thing. There have been so many incidents where I have seen this very thing, where people know how to play the system. You may have seen on the news where a long-term homeowner loses their house due to a misunderstanding regarding the taxes on the property and someone else swoops in to pay the sales tax and take possession of the property, kicking out the previous owner. It makes me angry just thinking about it and it is the same type of anger I felt while watching this disturbing documentary. Now I do not want to get into the politics of the situation, nor take any sides; I am just reviewing this film for entertainment value. I will say to sit and watch this DVD was compelling. VILLAGERS who had lived their entire life in the small Palestinian town called Bil’in were suddenly told the land was not theirs anymore. A separation barrier was going to be installed to keep them away from Israeli settlers. This former Oscar nominated, film festival winning movie was directed by Emad Burnat, one of the residents. He used 5 video cameras to record his personal story regarding the situation that was taking place around him. The way he told his story was impressive simply due to the dangers he had to encounter. I especially found it poignant the way he used his 4 sons as time markers for his story; it put things into perspective. My anger as I watched this film came from the way the rules were being changed to stymie the villagers, who were maintaining non-violent resistance. There was however a few graphic scenes that showed blood. When some people see or hear about a conflict far from them, they may become immune to the action. For this movie that was not the case because it was done on such a personal level. The idea of each camera having to take over from the previous one once it could no longer function formed perfectly spaced chapters. It would be hard to ignore such powerful images. Arabic spoken with English subtitles.
3 1/2 stars — DVD
