Author Archives: moviejoltz
Flash Movie Review: Bullet to the Head
At this stage of my life there a few things I would like to give back and a few items I wish I could get again. It would be nice to have the thick head of hair I once had when I was younger. Back then I did not have to worry about raindrops sliding off my scalp and into my eyes. I wish I could give back the annoying brief dizziness I get when I stand up too fast from a reclined position. I understand these things are part of the territory when one ages; so truthfully, I do not give much thought to it. My philosophy is these age related things are infinitely better than the possible alternatives. I cannot understand people who are obsessed with youthfulness by altering their bodies to almost unrecognizable states. That is one of the reasons I had a hard time watching this crime thriller. Sylvester Stallone (The Expendables franchise, Cop Land) did not look human to me. Playing hit man James Bonomo, I found the role to be a narcissistic vehicle for Sylvester. There was the obligatory scene of Sylvester wearing boxers, so movie goers could gaze upon his chiseled body. The story had Sylvester’s character teaming up with detective Taylor Kwon, played by Sung Kang (Ninja Assassin, Fast & Furious franchise), when each of their partners were killed. The deaths lead the two men to a citywide, deadly scheme of corruption fronted by dirty businessman Robert Nkomo Morel, played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Killer Elite, Lost-TV). Except for the tight fight scenes, I found this to be a lazy movie. The script was uninspired, offering several tepid catch phrases. There was nothing new in the movie, leaving me bored. As far as I was concerned, I thought Sylvester should embrace his age and look for roles that would be more appropriate for him. By the end of the film; I felt as if a gun had been pointed to my head, forcing me to sit through this poorly done movie.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ghost Town
I had a cousin who every day would leave her house with a thermos of coffee, 2 mugs and a folding chair. She would drive to the cemetery where her mother was buried. Upon arrival she would open up her chair, place the coffee mugs on the top of the headstone, pour coffee into each cup and visit with her mother. This was a daily ritual that she did every single day, no matter the weather. I am not one to judge; but I am willing to bet her conversations with her mother were not as funny as the exchanges in this comedy. Mean-spirited dentist Bertram Pincus, played by Ricky Gervais (The Invention of Lying, Night at the Museum franchise), had the most unusual aftereffect come out from his recent colonoscopy. He was able to talk to dead people. Once word spread through the afterlife that Bertram could communicate with the dead, swarms of ghosts sought him out for help. One particular insistent apparition was Frank Herlihy, played by Greg Kinnear (Thin Ice, As Good as it Gets). Frank offered his help in stopping the other ghosts’ requests if Bertram would prevent Frank’s widow Gwen, played by Tea Leoni (The Family Man, Deep Impact), from remarrying. For the plan to succeed, it would take a major transformation. What made this story succeed was Ricky Gervais’ dry wit. I would not consider him a leading man character; but I found him endearing, by not playing his character in an over the top way. Greg and Tea added fullness to the story, making this film quite amusing. Adding the cherry on top so to speak was the hilarious Kristen Wiig (Bridesmaids, Paul) as a surgeon. This was an easy enjoyable film to watch and if I would have thought my cousin’s visits to her mother were just as fun, I certainly would have brought the cream for their coffee.
2 2/3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Stand Up Guys
True friends are the bright lighthouses that help illuminate your life’s path. There to offer support, concern and love; friends are the safe keepers of one’s history. Part of my inner circle is made up of friends from my childhood. We may not see each other often; but when we do, our conversations do not miss a beat from our previous time together. With one friend, we leave each other daily voice messages on each other’s phones. Just to say hi and stay updated on daily events; this is how we keep track of each other. Like those friends you can have non-verbal conversations with, the relationship between friends Val and Doc was the highlight of this movie. Al Pacino (Scarface, The Merchant of Venice) and Christopher Walken (Seven Psychopaths, Hairspray) did a masterful job playing long time con men Val and Doc. Their looks, their pauses all contributed to a wonderful and believable performance. Being released after 28 years in prison, Val and Doc set off for one last night out on the town before Doc had to complete the job he was hired to do–kill Val. The two men spring their good friend Hirsch, played by Alan Arkin (Argo, Get Smart), from his retirement home and head out to adventure in a stolen car. The three actors made this crime film. I appreciated that the script was tailored to their ages instead of trying to portray them as younger action heroes, like some recent movies have done with their movie stars. The actors did their best with the script which I found muddled and loose. The story went with an easy sentimental value instead of tighter excitement; it took some time for the pace to pick up. Part crime and part comedy, the movie had an identity crises that could have been solved if the writers had given more to these aged to perfection actors.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Enter the Void
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word avant-garde means: an intelligentsia that develops new or experimental concepts especially in the arts. For me, when I hear someone is avant-garde I know I will either appreciate the artist’s work or I will not. The French director Jean Cocteau was considered avant-garde and I thought his version of Beauty and the Beast was extraordinary. For this movie that was nominated for the Palma d’Or award at the Cannes Film Festival, it was considered to be director Gasper Noe’s striking avant-garde piece of work. The story was about brother and sister Oscar and Linda, played by newcomer Nathaniel Brown and Paz de la Hueria (A Walk to Remember, The Cider House Rules). Transplanted to Tokyo, Linda was a stripper and Oscar was a drug dealer. When Oscar was shot dead by the police, his spirit stayed on with the ability to visit past, present and future events. This film was shot as if the camera lens were the eyes of Oscar’s spirit, as we witnessed a gambit of events from the sister’s mourning to childhood, all the way back to conception at the molecular level. I did not mind the use of the camera lens as a set of eyes. It was the extended use of strobe lights and extra long held shots of psychedelic light patterns that I found annoying. The film itself lasted much too long at 161 minutes; it was sorely in need of some strong editing. The idea of the story was intriguing but the execution of it made the film boring for me. Besides the few brief scenes of blood, there were several sexually graphic scenes. Maybe the concept for this hallucinating movie went completely over my head. I just did not get it and found myself being drawn to reading the magazine sitting on my coffee table.
2 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Warm Bodies
Love is coming home where a warm hug is waiting to brush the trying day off of you. Waking up to a gentle protective breath on your neck that kept dark dreams away through the night is love. Comfort in knowing that if you make a mistake it will not diminish one’s love for you. Even the unexpected card filled with caring thoughts is a form of love. Taylor Dayne’s song “Love will Lead you Back” would be apropos to describe this romantic comedy. From the director of 50/50, Jonathan Levine created a funny horror movie that was a relative to the story of Romeo and Juliette. Nicholas Hoult was the unusual zombie named R. On a night of feasting on humans; R became enthralled with Julie, played by Teresa Palmer (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Bedtime Stories), after making a meal of her boyfriend. Determined to protect her, R formed an unexpected relationship with Julie that would change the world. But R did not know Julie’s father Grigio, played by John Malkovich (Burn After Reading, Con Air), was the leader of the human zombie killers. I was totally taken by surprise with the smart and witty dialog. Nicholas and Teresa were perfectly matched, adding authenticity to their characters. Playing R’s friend M, Rob Cordday (Cedar Rapids, W.) was wonderful in his role, coming up with some great lines. My only regret was the small amount of screen time Analeigh Tipton (Damsels in Distress, The Green Hornet) had playing Julie’s friend Nora. A very entertaining film that was rated PG-13 had brief scenes of blood and gore. I was completely surprised by this fun movie. Who knew this zombie film came with a big heart.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Peter and Vandy
I learned the hard way how important communication is in a relationship. Actions speak louder than words had always been the major way I would convey my feelings. When a friend or relative would tell me they loved me; my reciprocation would stumble out of my mouth, landing in a nervous thud. In one of my most meaningful relationships, a day did not go by without me being told that I was loved. After a short time the importance of the word “love” diminished for me, due to hearing it every day like one would hear the word hello. When my friends carried on how I did not flinch when my significant other stuck their finger in my lip balm, in my brain I was simply showing my love. Watching this movie reinforced my belief in the power of communication. The story looked at the relationship between Peter and Vandy, showing different stages of their growth. Jason Ritter (Parenthood-TV, Freddy vs. Jason) and Jess Weixler (Teeth, The Big Bad Swim) were perfectly cast as Peter and Vandy. Their expressive faces beautifully conveyed the emotions they were feeling without the need of dialog. This Sundance nominated movie told the story in short scenes that jumped back and forth in time. At the start I had a hard time connecting to the out of order segments. But as more was revealed about the couple, the easier it was for me to understand the story. I thought this film was spot on in showing how communication or the lack of molds the relationship between two people. It was a truthful depiction in my opinion. Having gone through the love and loss of someone special, this romantic drama resonated deep inside of me.
3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Parker
An idyllic setting of a good old fashioned state fair was a wonderful opening to this action crime film. Having been born and raised in a large city, seeing the activities and events at the fair were a bit foreign to me. What I found attractive was the sense of peaceful camaraderie among the people. Not that I would ever go on an amusement ride that would spin me around or enter a pie eating contest. You may be surprised by that but I do not eat food from someone I do not know. As a result I never partake in potluck dinners and absolutely no buffets. I am not eating any food that has been guarded by a sneeze guard. But I can do a whole post on my neuroses; let me get back to the movie. From this opening scene the main character Parker, played by Jason Statham (Safe, The Transporter franchise), was walking through the fair, dressed as a priest. The opening scene was the best this film had to offer. It pretty much is a given what type of movie to expect with Jason as the star. A smattering of witty lines, bloody tough fight scenes and Jason doing the same type of role he has done before in his films. In this movie he was a thief in a gang led by Melander, played by Michael Chiklis (The Shield-TV, Fantastic Four franchise). After being double crossed, Parker followed the group to Palm Beach to take what was rightfully due him. To put his plan in place, Parker would need the help of desperate realtor Leslie Rodgers, played by Jennifer Lopez (Out of Sight, Maid in Manhattan). Seeing Jennifer in this role, all I kept thinking was she left American Idol for this? It was an odd role and I did not think it was anything special. Just as strange was seeing Patti LuPone (Heist, City by the Sea) playing Leslie’s mother. If you enjoy Jason’s other movies, this one will probably satisfy you. For me there was nothing new in this predictable story.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Despicable Me
Words of encouragement can make such a difference in a person’s life. In a similar way, a lack of encouraging words can also have a dramatic effect on an individual. When there is a new member in my yoga classes, I make a point to tell the person they did a good job at the end of class. Especially when they have paid attention to what their body was physically able to do; instead of trying to copy my every move. When I first started attending group exercise classes, I felt intimidated. It seemed as if everyone knew the moves. There I was trying to copy the steps; not only feeling uncomfortable, but aware that the extra 85 pounds I was carrying made me stand out even more. A kind word or two would have been nice. I never went back to that particular class. In this animated film, I was surprised to find what motivated the main character Gru, voiced by Steve Carell (Hope Springs, Date Night). When the world discovered the Great Pyramid of Giza was stolen, Gru was determined to do something even more spectacular. He wanted to be the most evil villain of all time. Not only would he not be outshone but he would make his mother proud. His mother was voiced by Julie Andrews (Tooth Fairy, Victor Victoria). His plan to beat master thief Vector, voiced by Jason Segel (The Muppets, Forgetting Sarah Marshall), hit a speed bump when three orphaned girls entered his life. The movie started out slow for me, but I soon realized the humor had a certain amusing sophistication to it, not a typical slapstick schtick. While Steve did a perfect job with his character, I had no idea Julie and Jason were the voices of their characters. The humor was appropriate for all ages and I liked the added twists to the story. It is amazing what some people will do just to get approval. I for one approved of this movie.
3 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
My introduction to the brothers Grimm was through animated movies. I can remember being perched atop folded coats on my theater seat, so I would have a clear view of the movie screen. Cinderella dressed in her magical ball gown or the poisoned apple that induced eternal slumber for Sleeping Beauty were characters that amazed me, when I saw them up on the big screen. At a time before movie characters were marketed into every conceivable consumer product, I stored a variety of Grimm fairy tale characters in my imagination. Let me first say I am not a purist when it comes to keeping a story true to its original form. If the story can still be entertaining, I am fine with it. Unfortunately this abomination lacked the entertainment factor, besides a variety of other things. The movie updated the story of Hansel and Gretel by turning the brother and sister into adult witch hunters. Sure I get it, nearly cooked in an oven by an evil witch as kids; I could buy into their chosen profession. What I found out of character was having the two talking in a contemporary style, dropping the “F” word freely. It was foolish to have fairy tale characters from olden days swearing like thugs. Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker, The Bourne Legacy) was Hansel and we were led to believe he was a diabetic. He wore a special wristwatch that rang every 2 hours, reminding him to take an injection that would keep him alive. It was so ridiculous I knew the concept was only there to be used later in the boring story. Gemma Arterton (Quantum of Solace, Clash of the Titans) was the sharpshooter Gretel. The two were hired by a town to find a witch that was stealing children. What Hansel and Gretel found was a diabolical plot by the powerful witch Muriel, played by Famke Janssen (X-Men franchise, Goldeneye). In a nutshell the acting was miserable, the special effects were bland, the story was putrid and I resented the movie studio for tarnishing a classic tale.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Cyrus
My college sociology professor used the term “Holy Deadlock” to describe a couple who stayed together for the wrong reasons. An example would be staying together for the children’s sake. This instructor claimed using children as an excuse to stay together did more harm than good. I have seen fighting couples use their kids as a way to attack or manipulate their significant other and it was awful to see. At that point the adult was no longer the parent, they were simply a conspirator. On the other hand, there are divorcing parents who act out in a different direction. They give in to the child’s every whim, hoping to make up for the failed relationship. Here, too, the adult is less of a parent as the child quickly learns the art of manipulation. In this comedy Cyrus, played by Jonah Hill (21 Jump Street, The Watch), was a master of manipulation. When his mother Molly, played by Marisa Tomei (The Lincoln Lawyer, The Wrestler), began to date John, played by John C. Reilly (Carnage, We Need to Talk About Kevin), Cyrus thought it would be easy to eliminate John from his mother’s life. He would discover the task at hand was easier said than done. What helped this story was the strong acting from the cast. I have enjoyed most of Marisa’s roles in the past and found her rock solid in playing Molly. In addition, playing John’s ex wife Jamie, Catherine Keener (Into the Wild, A Late Quartet) beautifully played off of John C. Reilly’s character. The fundamental elements of this story were sound; I only wished the writers would have added some punch. There was an easy predictability to several scenes. It takes effort to make a marriage work; it takes extra work to make a divorce successful for all involved parties.
2 2/3 stars — DVD
moviejoltz 