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Flash Movie Review: A Million Ways to Die in the West
There are so many times I hear people say life is easier now, but I am not 100% convinced of it. I remember reading Generation Zs do not know how to fold up a map since they only grew up with GPS devices; some only know how to tell time from a digital display. Does this make life easier? When you expand the length of time, sure I can see where some things are easier now then decades or centuries ago. When the United States still had frontiers, there was a reason why people referred to the areas as the Wild West. Back then you would have to protect yourself from wild animals; now it is more likely it will be from humans. There was more farmland back then; people would work the land and grow their own food, eating healthier. Now you can simply take your pre-wrapped meal from the freezer to the microwave oven and have hot food in 6 minutes. The differences between the two time periods were ripe for creating a comedy which Seth MacFarlane (Tooth Fairy, Ted) tried to do in this humorous western. Besides being the writer and director of this film, Seth took on his first starring role playing Albert the sheep farmer. After being threatened to a dual with pistols and getting dumped by his girlfriend Louise, played by Amanda Seyfried (Mama Mia, Red Riding Hood), Albert was willing to take advice from the mysterious Anna, played by Charlize Theron (Prometheus, The Italian Job). The only problem was Louise already started seeing Foy, played by Neil Patrick Harris (The Smurfs franchise, How I Met Your Mother-TV). I wish I could have figured out how Seth went from writing the comedy Ted to creating this farce. Where I found Ted to be wickedly funny, this movie was a bust. I only found a few sporadic scenes humorous since the majority of the jokes were either lame or cheap shots. It would be easy to compare this film to Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles but there is a big difference. Mel’s comedy was a trendsetting funny spoof that understood its purpose. Seth’s picture was just a series of gags that had a certain predictability to them. The chosen cast certainly had the talent to make this a fun time but I found things were dull and lifeless. However, it was a kick to see the actors who made cameo roles. I had no idea it would be so hard to write a funny story about a period of time from our past. There was an extra scene after the credits.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Walking with the Enemy
I would think a majority of us at one time or another avoid revealing our true identity to someone or pretend to be somebody else. Before she goes back home a friend of mine has to alter her appearance to avoid standing out while she travels through her native country. She has to take any colored highlights out of her hair, wear no jewelry and dress in tattered old blue jeans. All of this has to be done to avoid any suspicious characters who may use her for profit. A few winters back I wore a city policeman’s jacket that I had found at a surplus store. Besides finding it fun to wear it actually could keep me warm. It did not occur to me at first but a couple of times while walking up to a checkout line, the person in front of me would let me go ahead. I had assumed it was because I only had a few items, but then I realized the people must be reacting to my policeman’s jacket. When I work out at a different health club, I avoid telling the instructor I teach also; I do not want to be judged by a different standard. The examples I have mentioned are just a speck of sand on the beach of reasons one would use to cover their identity; but, the reason for it in this historical drama was one of the most noble I have seen. Returning back home Hungarian Elek Cohen, played by Jonas Armstrong (Book of Blood, Robin Hood-TV), discovered his family was taken away by members of the Arrow Cross party who were sympathetic to the Nazi cause. With Germany tightening its fist around Hungary during WWII, Elek thought the only way he could safely look for his family was to impersonate a Nazi SS officer. He would find more than he imagined during his search. Inspired by a true story this film festival winning movie had an unbelievable story to tell. I could not help but compare Elek Cohen to Oskar Schindler from the film Schindler’s List; however, the 2 movies were drastically different. This action drama was poorly made with uninspired writing and acting. Ben Kingsley (Iron Man 3, Hugo) as Regent Horthy was completely wasted in this film. I did not find any acting worth noting for this review. Except for the obvious scenes that told you this was a story about the Holocaust, it seemed to me the movie was trying to keep it a secret.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Quiet Ones
It was not a requirement but we all knew non-participation would affect our grade. The professor of my college freshmen psychology class encouraged us to enroll in the volunteer program for the graduate students. I remember some of the studies I volunteered for were interesting. There was one where I was sitting in the waiting room with another volunteer. We had a brief time for introductions before we were called into a room. A lab assistant handed each of us a pen and notepad. We were instructed to sit at opposite ends of the room and write down our perceptions of the other one. Once we were done the supervisor asked us to switch our papers. The facilitator then asked the volunteer to read what I wrote about him. I kept my comments to simple generalizations like he seemed nice, had a hearty laugh. When it was my turn to read aloud I was stunned by his words. He had written things like I did not seem to be very smart, appeared to be uncoordinated. After I finished reading, the person in charge asked me to address any comments I might have directly to the volunteer. Turning to him I let loose with such a profanity filled stream of intense anger that the supervisor could not calm me down until he finally admitted this had been a set up and the other volunteer was a graduate student, who was studying subjects’ reactions. I chose to opt out of the program. The test subject in this horror film inspired by actual events did not have the same opportunity. Jared Harris (Lincoln, Natural Born Killers) played professor Joseph Coupland who was convinced he could scientifically explain the irrational occurrences happening to test subject Jane Harper, played by Olivia Cooke (Bates Motel-TV). Settled in a London estate with his team, the professor had everything documented to film by student Brian McNeil, played by Sam Claflin (Snow White and the Huntsman, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire). But even some pictures could not explain what took place. The film work with its cool retro look created an interesting setting for this story. There were parts that were extremely loud which I could not tell was set by the movie theater or the film. Since I found aspects of the story far-fetched, the scare factor was somewhat diminished for me in this film. It was a shame because I liked the idea behind the story, having a central character trying to bring rationality to irrational acts. I am afraid this movie left me unimpressed. If you want to hear something scary, remind me to tell you about the time at school when they wanted to hook me up to electrodes. There were several scenes with blood in them.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Transcendence
I would not say it is an irrational fear; it is more of a mistrust I have of computers. Sure when they do what they are supposed to do they can be wonderful; but, when they do not function properly, they can be a nightmare. I do not understand how a computer can follow the same procedure ever day then all of a sudden one day it cannot perform it. This drives me crazy. I used to work at a company where the corporate offices did very little of their daily requirements on a computer. The owner never wanted to see the departments’ routines come to a standstill due to a power outage or computer virus. I could understand the reasoning behind such actions because I have worked at companies where their entire operations were done by computers. It made things easier in some ways but when the computers would go down, the entire company would come to a complete stop. Do not get me wrong, computers certainly have enhanced our lives; but at what cost? This dramatic mystery movie delved into the possibilities of what the computer could do to elevate the life of mankind. Johnny Depp (The Lone Ranger, The Tourist) played Will Caster, one of the most respected researchers in the field of artificial intelligence. With his wife Evelyn and fellow researcher Max Waters, played by Rebecca Hall (Closed Circuit, The Prestige) and Paul Bettany (Margin Call, Inkheart), working alongside him; Will was working to create a machine that would have self-awareness. There would be no limits to the advancements that would benefit mankind…or would there be? This science fiction movie had a sharp, cool look to it. I liked the premiss of the story and felt it was relevant since we now have operating systems that verbally communicate with us. The cast which also included Morgan Freeman (Last Vegas, Million Dollar Baby) as Joseph Tagger and Kate Mara (Transsiberian, The Open Road) as Bree were solid but the script did not allow them to excel at their craft. Johnny Depp was actually the weak one out of the group. There were some parts, like Bree’s scenes with members of her gang, that did not make much sense due to the lack of back story. I thought the director’s pacing in this film was quite poor; I sat through passages where I was just bored. One could say this film created by humans was ironic since it had the emotions of a computer.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Noah
You are sitting back letting your friend tell the assembled group of friends about an incident that happened to the two of you. Everyone is laughing at a particular funny part of the story. As you are following along with your friend’s narrative, you suddenly hear something that clashes with your memory of the event. While still listening to your friend you are quickly going over the chain of events you remember, wondering if your memory is starting to fail you. As your friend continues to veer off from the way you remembered the story, the group of friends haven’t a clue and are enjoying the tale even more. The first opportunity to talk to your friend the narrator was not until the two of you were riding home from the restaurant. When you asked them why they changed the story, making it a more elaborate less truthful scenario, they replied a story is not worth telling if you cannot exaggerate it and provide better entertainment value. I can understand the point they were making since I have been known to tell a tale or two, with something called creative license. In this adventure drama, writer and director Darren Aronofsky (The Fountain, Black Swan) used artistic license to put his own spin on the biblical tale of Noah. Russell Crowe (Man of Steel, A Beautiful Mind) and Jennifer Connelly (Blood Diamonds, Winter’s Tale) played Noah and his wife Naameh. Upon receiving visions of impending doom for the Earth, Noah set out to build an ark that would save all that was good about the planet. This movie was utterly bizarre to me, taking on a science fiction aspect that I found totally ridiculous. Who knew there were prehistoric Transformers in biblical times?! Not only did I find the story silly, but I found it boring as well. The acting was nothing special and I am saying this even with Emma Watson (The Bling Ring, The Perks of Being a Wallflower) and Anthony Hopkins (Hitchcock, The Rite) being part of the cast. I especially felt the story line of Ham, played by Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson franchise, 3:10 to Yuma) was poorly done. The only redeeming quality to this film was the visual aspect. Though none of the animals were real I did enjoy their scenes along with the start of the flooding. In the case of this disaster film or should I say disastrous film, elaborating the story did nothing to make it a more entertaining experience.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Need for Speed
If you would have asked me several years ago if I was a vengeful person I would have said yes. It was not something that made me proud, especially since I was not mature about it, letting it flame out of me as a way to cover up my hurt feelings. An example would be if someone broke my trust; I would want to hurt them as much as I felt they hurt me. I cannot say there was one thing that triggered a change in me; maybe the realization I no longer wanted to give my energy away to someone who did not deserve it. Instead of going into attack mode I can now express my feelings and if need be walk away while not giving that individual another thought. This would not be the case if I felt I needed to right a wrong, however. Being a big believer in actions speaking louder than words, I could not fault the main character in this action drama from righting a wrong done to him. Aaron Paul (The Last House on the Left, Breaking Bad-TV) played Tobey Marshall. After being sent to prison for a crime he did not commit, Tobey would ride across the country to enter a racing contest just so he could compete against the man who had set him up. Based on the popular video game, the main stars of this crime film were the automobiles. Aaron who twice won an Emmy for his performance in Breaking Bad was horrible as the leading character. Topping his poor performance was an actor I have had high regard for, Dominic Cooper (The Devil’s Due, The Duchess) who played racing car driver Dino Brewster. Not all the fault should be placed on them because the script and direction were the real problems that made this a dull film. Though the driving and racing scenes were good and well orchestrated, I thought the driving was better in the Fast & Furious movie franchise. Imogen Poots (That Awkward Moment, Fright Night) as Julia Maddon and Michael Keaton (RoboCop, First Daughter) as Monarch had more life in their characters, though Michael seemed to be channeling his Beetlejuice character a bit. As an overall movie watching experience, I always cheer for the underdog character and like to see justice being served; but when the cars are acting better than the cast, I felt this film was a quart low in being entertaining. I also want to add there is no reason to see this film in 3D. An extra scene can be seen after the short first set of credits at the end of the film.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Winter’s Tale
Look around and you will see the carcasses of lost love. Like the spent cocoons of former butterflies, love does not always last; people sometimes grow out of love in their relationships. Sure it can flourish and last for many years, where the two of you seem to be sailing in the same direction through the currents of life. But things change and your love for each other cools, slipping off of you like the final rays of a setting sun. There is, however, a love that lasts a lifetime and beyond. Even if you are no longer together, you carry your love for them like a comfortable sweater draped around your shoulders. It does not necessary hinder you but its presence always reminds you how love can feel. Within this dramatic fantasy there was a beautiful love story. From the trailers I was not only excited to see this mysterious movie, but I wanted to have a good cry. Yes, I admit I enjoy watching a well done picture that can move me to tears now and then. I thought everything was in place to make it happen with the story in this film. Colin Farrell (Saving Mr. Banks, In Bruges) played a burglar named Peter Lake. Thinking a house was empty, Peter broke in only to be startled by an ailing Beverly Penn, played by Jessica Brown (Albatross, Downton Abbey-TV), who had remained behind from her family. There was something about her that stole his heart. This was writer Akiva Goldman’s (A Beautiful Mind, The Da Vinci Code) first attempt at directing and it was one of the major issues I had about this movie. I was so disappointed to see the actors lifelessly move through their scenes. There was a nice chemistry building between Peter and Beverly, but the director never fully utilized it. Russell Crowe (Les Miserables, State of Play) as gang leader Pearly Soames was good, but after I saw who played his boss in this film I just sat in my seat in disbelief. I am sure the book is better and maybe it is hard to translate a century old love story to the big screen; but in more capable hands, I have to wonder if this movie would have been better. Colin gave it his best, working great with his horse, but I did not love this movie like I wanted. Walking away from the theater I could feel my hopes and unrequited love for this film dropping off of me like the petals of a wilted flower.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Labor Day
How can something that feels so empty weigh one down so much? When the person you love leaves you, the leaden heart is not the only thing that sustains an injury. Granted the heart takes the majority of the impact, caving in from the flooding emptiness; but the bridge of life that connects to the heart takes heavy damage. The road of living becomes riddled with potholes that make life unbearable. Each pothole reveals the remains of a broken dream. There are so many holes that one becomes too afraid to traverse the road and relinquishes what was once the joys of living life. Every action from eating to breathing takes a monumental effort to complete. I totally understand it and know some people do life better when in a relationship. This is why I accepted the plight of Adele, played by Kate Winslet (Contagion, The Reader), in this dramatic movie. During one of their infrequent trips to the supermarket lonely Adele and her young son Henry, played by Gattlin Griffith (Changeling, Couples Retreat), were forced to help and take in a bleeding man named Frank, played by Josh Brolin (No Country for Old Men, Oldboy). Written and directed by Jason Reitman (Up in the Air, Thank You for not Smoking) I was actually looking forward to this film, based on the novel by Joyce Maynard (To Die For). There were a few scenes that were beautifully done, where I could feel the emotions of the characters come to life. The scene of making a peach pie made me hungry; it was tender and touching. It pains me to say this was all that was good about the movie. I thought the script was sickly sweet with sappiness and unrealistic. The acting was not as good as it could have been, especially from Gattlin who had the same deer in the headlamps look through most of the film. During parts of this movie I found myself getting bored as things seemed to go unnaturally slow. That reminded me to mention the whole police search story line; it seemed so not urgent to me, which really was needed to build tension in the action. I also found some of the events towards the end to be unsatisfying. Any time a movie is made about someone’s heart I expect to see and feel passion. Sadly this picture failed since it had no heart.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: That Awkward Moment
You know the exact moment when your friendship began to evolve. It was when you asked your friend about making plans to do something and they began their reply with the words, “Let me check with…” There was no malice, boastfulness or arrogance on your friend’s part; they were just telling you there was someone in their life who reached a new level of importance. This does not take anything away from your status with them, but understand your friend is now part of a couple. Now I will say I am aware of the division that sometimes forms between couples and singles like a sheer curtain rustling in front of an open window on a breezy day. I have been told that there are times where an even number of guests is more desirable for some than odd. Except for riding an amusement park ride, I never really understood why some people would think that way. You can see how a dating relationship may affect a friendship in this romantic comedy. Zac Efron (The Lucky One, 17 Again), Miles Teller (The Spectacular Now, Rabbit Hole) and Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station, Hardball) played best friends Jason, Daniel and Mikey. When Mikey’s girlfriend Vera, played by Jessica Lucas (Cloverfield, She’s the Man), told him she was breaking up with him, his two best friends promised they would stand by him and show him the ropes to being single again. I have to tell you after sitting through this film I was so thankful I did not have friends like these people. They were crude and immature for the most part or should I say at least their dialog was from the predictable script. The story seemed so formulaic; the three friends could be broken down to the smooth talking pretty one, the smart-alecky joker and the sensitive one. I will let you guess which one matches to which description. The only characters that seemed somewhat believable to me were Mikey and Chelsea, played by Mackenzie Davis (Smashed, Breathe In). If I had not seen the movie trailer to this film I might have been less bored than I was sitting in the movie theater. I did not find it a real portrayal of friends and the different things they were getting themselves involved in. Maybe this was due to my lack of having any friends who acted like these guys. For that I consider myself lucky and am grateful for it.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: I, Frankenstein
I would have been upset if this movie was based on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Except for Victor Frankenstein’s creation, there was no similarity between this action fantasy film and the original story. It turns out this movie was based on the graphic novel of the same name. I looked up the definition of graphic novel to find out it is defined as a fictional story that is done in a comic strip format, but in book form. With this understanding, I did not have a problem with this movie’s story. Frankenstein’s creation, played by Aaron Eckhart (The Dark Knight, Thank You for Not Smoking), was being hunted by evil demons led by Naberius, played by Bill Nighy (About Time, Love Actually), who needed him to complete their plan to create an army of demonic soulless beings to take over the world. The only thing standing in their way were the gargoyles led by Leonore, played by Miranda Otto (The Lord of the Rings franchise, What Lies Beneath). The film trailer I saw for this movie was predominantly filled with battle scenes. I now understand why since most of the time I was watching chase and fight scenes. If you are looking for just a mindless movie to sit back and not think about, this one is doable. The idea and concept of this story was fine; however, it was poorly executed. I found the writing to be bland and pretty cheesy for the most part. The transformation from gargoyle to human form was fun but most of the special effects were just okay, nothing really spectacular. I have always been fond of Aaron’s and Bill’s acting in the past and would have liked to have seen here more detail in their roles. Granted once I realized the Frankenstein character was more of a superhero I thought Aaron was an odd choice. If there were not any CGI effects involved then Aaron was chiseled for the role but was still of an average human size. There was a familiarity to the whole layout of this movie and I found out why afterwards. The writer was the same one who did the Underworld films, which explained the look and feel to this picture. Now I cannot say this was an awful film, it still entertained me; it just was too generic. If the movie studio still plans to do a sequel, since it was obvious at the end, I hope they spend more time devoted to the details of the story to make the viewers care about it.
1 3/4 stars
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