Blog Archives
Flash Movie Review: The Cold Light of Day
Since I began posting movie reviews here, I have tried alternating between first run movies and those on DVD. You will notice with today’s review it is of a film I saw this past week at the theater, instead of one at home. The reason is simple; if you are so inclined to view this movie, do not spend any money seeing it in a movie theater. Do not waste any money on it. The first 15-20 minutes started out well, with Bruce Willis (Moonrise Kingdom, Die Hard franchise) as Martin doing okay, for what seemed like a typical role for him. Taking his family out sailing on his boat, Martin tried to keep the peace, though it was obvious there was tension between him and his son Will, played by Henry Cavill (Stardust, Immortals). When there was a slight accident on the boat, Will swam to shore to get first aid. With supplies in hand, he returned to the beach only to discover the sailing boat was gone. It did not take Will long to find the boat tucked away in a nearby cove. Imagine the surprise he got when finally reaching the boat he discovered it was deserted. The search for his family would lead Will on a high stakes chase, that involved the CIA and terrorists all looking for a mysterious briefcase. Let me make this easy for you: the story was dopey, the acting was putrid and the action scenes went by so fast, I had a hard time figuring out what the heck was going on. This movie looked like it was one of those payback films, where actors had to sign on to repay a favor to some producer or movie studio honcho. The whole time watching this movie I thought the missing family members were the lucky ones; they did not have to stay and watch this mess.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Resident Evil: Retribution
All these years I thought I was big stuff because I could hold my own against the Space Invaders video game. Then Alice came along and burst my bubble. I may not have played the video game this movie was based on, but I felt I had once I saw this action film. Also, this is only the 2nd movie I have seen in the Resident Evil movie franchise. The film started where the last one left off, showing us the previous ending scene in slow motion reverse. With this installment we find Alice, played by Milla Jovovich (The Three Musketeers, The Fifth Element) was mother to hearing impaired Becky, played by Aryana Engineer (Orphan). Alice was living life as a suburban housewife until the neighborhood was attacked by flesh eating zombies. It turned out Alice was being held in a secret testing location by the Umbrella Corporation, keepers of the T-Virus. For Alice to escape out of her holding cell, she would need the help of an insider and former friends. The first impression I had while watching this action film was how long could Milla keep up the physical stamina the role demanded? Presently, I believe Alice would be in the top 3 for being the toughest female action hero on screen today. The action stunts were plentiful, with some in fast motion and others done slowly. The primal story had holes in it that did not explain some things to me, but I do not think it mattered. I found the acting stiff and wooden for the most part, but again so what? The film was meant to be a visual explosion of special effects and action; it succeeded in that regard. This was nothing more than a video game on the big screen, without the joystick.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Branded
I am a marketer’s dream, I fully admit it. Trying new products, particularly in the food category, is my thing. Something newly developed with chocolate, I welcome eagerly into my home with open arms. When I saw this movie listed at a nearby theater I had to see it. My middle brother was Executive Vice President Chief Creative Officer of an advertising firm. Yes, you can thank him for all those lovely pieces of mail; offering stamps, contact lenses, among a multitude of other items. His famous line is, “Marketing has destroyed the world.” Set in the future, this movie showed exactly how marketing was affecting the consumer. Misha Galkin, played by Ed Stoppard (The Pianist, Joy Division) was a marketing whiz. When he initiated a life changing experience, Misha was finally able to see the truth behind all those marketing campaigns that have been relentlessly, bombarding the masses. With this new found knowledge that only he could see; his girlfriend Abby Gibbons, played by Leelee Sobieski (The Glass House, Public Enemies), did not know if he was a genius or simply going insane. There was a slight sci-fi edge to the film that was shot mostly in Moscow. The story had no traction for me, particularly in the beginning, as it unfolded in a slow and ponderous way. I could see the satire the writers were trying to convey regarding the buyer’s need for acquiring more stuff. But, once the characters ventured into what I would call an advertiser’s war, I found the plot silly. You would have thought the producers would have done some test marketing of this film; for if they had, they would have discovered this movie about marketing had very little to offer the consumer.
1 2/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Hit & Run
In traditional wedding vows there is a part that goes something like, “Do you promise to love and cherish each other, until death do you part?” I still remind a married friend of mine about the time I was walking with him and his wife during a rain storm. A car came barreling down the street, hit a huge puddle of water and my friend quickly ducked behind his wife to avoid the splash. Instead, she got smacked with a wall of water that totally drenched her. I still tease him that their vows must have overlooked the part about protecting one another. In this comedy we find a man so in love with his girlfriend, he was willing to put his life in jeopardy for her. Yul Perkins aka Charlie Bronson, played by Dax Shepard (When in Rome, Baby Mama), was in the witness protection program after testifying against his old friend Alex, played by Bradley Cooper (The Words, The A-Team). When Charlie’s girlfriend Annie Bean, played by Kristen Bell (Big Miracle, Veronica Mars-TV), needed to be in Los Angeles for a job interview, Charlie insisted on driving her. Their road trip turned into a madcap racing adventure as former convict Alex, an ex-boyfriend of Annie’s and U.S. Marshal Randy Anderson, played by Tom Arnold (True Lies, Roseanne-TV), pursued the young couple. Real life couple Kristen and Dax were good together in their roles, quite believable. Tom Arnold easily handled most of the screwball comedy scenes. I gave Dax credit for writing the script besides doing director duty. Several scenes were funny and I liked some of the dialog. My issue with the movie was its similarity to other comedy chase movies. The Bradley Cooper character seemed false to me. While the movie played I cannot say I was totally bored; however, I was not all that invested in the story either. What people do for love and what movie critics do for reviews, is not always a marriage made in heaven.
2 1/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Premium Rush
There is nothing like riding a bicycle with the wind slipping across your skin, a waterfall spreading itself out on your left, with granite obelisks standing at attention as you pass them; all while traveling up a lush winding path. Well, at least that is one of the places I periodically describe to the members in my cycling class, as we are doing a standing climb on our bikes. Seeing this adrenalin pumped movie, I now have another scenario I can bring into the classroom. Bicycle messenger Wilee, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Inception, The Dark Knight Rises) was one of the riders who used a bike with no brakes. He could be found weaving and darting through cars and pedestrians in New York City at top speed. Detective Bobby Monday, played by Michael Shannon (Take Shelter, Revolutionary Road), caught wind of a package in Wilee’s possession, that could make a difference in his dire financial predicament. The story, parts told in flashback, was not complicated; it drove the high octane action scenes. Having always enjoyed Joseph’s past characters; this was another good performance by him; as the honest, affable bike messenger Wilee. But the true star of this film was Michael Shannon. He had the look, the mannerisms and the intensity for his imposing role as the desperate detective. My one complaint about the movie was the multitude of chase scenes; they started to become routine for me. Despite that gripe, at the end of the movie I still felt I got a good workout. Stay for the beginning of the credits to see the actual injury Joseph Gordon-Levitt occurred while filming a scene.
2 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Expendables 2
Welcome to Madame Trudeau’s new interactive wax (or maybe plastic) action figures show. See them get up out of their seats, shoot a gun, light up a cigar and even say the wildest things; it will blow your mind. Can you count how many stunt doubles are in this movie? I was not expecting much when I went to see this action film. Not only was there an abundance of testosterone on the movie screen, there was a strong presence of it spread among the theater seats. In this sequel Barney Ross, played by Sylvester Stallone (Cop Land, Demolition Man) returns with his Botoxed band of buddies, along with a few extra surprises. At the start of the film, we see the group battling their way out of their latest job, with explosions and blazing gunfire. There was a constant stream of things blowing up and bullets flying throughout the adventures in the film. I noticed every bullet that struck a person created a spray of blood; it was almost cartoonish to me. The story centered on a job that went wrong. A member of the gang was needlessly killed by the sinister Vilain, played by Jean-Claude Van Damme (Universal Soldier, Double Impact). Yes, Jean-Claude was the bad guy in this film. And to his credit, it appeared he did his own leg kicks. Barney and his band were determined to get revenge. No matter how outnumbered they were or how unlikely the scenario, nothing would stop them. Adding extra muscle, Barney received help from Trench, played by Arnold Schwarzenegger (True Lies, Last Action Hero). There was such campiness with Arnold on the scene. The script took liberties with some of the former action heroes’ famous lines, giving the viewer a smug, tongue-in-cheek pattering of dialog. This is the type of movie you would see if you just want total action, little plot and character development. A straight forward, simple story with aging movie stars trying to remain tough and young. It ain’t pretty. Scenes of blood and violence.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Bourne Legacy
I was most appreciative for the genetics lesson given by Dr. Marta Shearing, during this suspense movie. However, what I really could have used was an organizational chart for all the different top secret departments involved in this story. As you have heard from the movie trailers, Jason Bourne was not the only one; we are introduced to Aaron Cross, played by Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker, The Avengers). It was fortunate the studio chose him for this role; another actor may not have been able to make the poorly written story palatable. The writers wove the previous movies’ story lines into this updated version. All I understood was the program that created Jason Bourne and Aaron Cross was under investigation. We first met Aaron out in the wilderness, in the middle of a survival test, unaware of the agency’s troubles. I understood this movie would be more of an introduction for us; however, there was too much of it. Instead of grabbing the viewer’s attention early on, the story plodded along until Cross and Dr. Shearing, played by Rachel Weisz (The Deep Blue Sea, The Brothers Bloom) became the main focus. And lucky for us they were because both of them were strong actors that kept the story going forward. I expected to see more action than what finally came into play in the latter half of the movie. When there were fight scenes, they went by so quickly, I did not know if Aaron ever had a punch land on him. Planning a sequel was certainly on the minds of everyone involved with this film; I just wished they would have cut down on the introductions and given us a clearer, more exciting story.
2 2 /3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Total Recall
Find me a Rekall center, I’m signing up! Think of the possibilities one could have, being able to have the memories of a dream vacation or having been a race car driver. I gave this some thought after seeing this action movie and decided the first thing I would do would be to save my good memories, so I would never forget them. Speaking of forgetting, those of you who saw the original movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, this had little in common with it. There were a couple of reminders, but don’t pack a bag for Mars; this slick looking movie was a wild ride. Douglas Quaid/Hauser, played by Colin Farrell (The New World, Horrible Bosses), was a factory worker who discovered fragments of another life inside of his mind, after trying out an establishment that provided fake memories for its customers. Buffed up Colin may not have had the size of Arnold, but I liked his acting a whole lot better. Kate Beckinsale (The Aviator, Underworld franchise) as Dennis’ wife Lori was wickedly fun. She had great lines of dialog and was a strong physical presence, way beyond her small frame. I wished they had used Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad-TV, Red Tails) and Bill Nighy (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Notes on a Scandal) to better advantage. Though the story was lacking, making one chase scene blend into another and another; the movie was so cool looking in that Blade Runner/Fifth Element kind of way, that I did not really care. I had such a great time watching this intense science fiction movie, by the end I knew I would have a fond memory.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Repo Men
These guys could easily be foot soldiers in Hannibal Lecter’s army. At the very least I wish I could hire them for my credit department; it would be one way to get my customers to pay on time. Set in the future, best friends Remy and Jake, played by Jude Law (Hugo, Sherlock Holmes franchise) and Forest Whitaker (The Last King of Scotland, The Experiment), were bad ass repo men. Their employer was in the business of selling body organs. If you had a bad heart or liver, they could easily provide a brand new one, along with a finance plan to make payments. But be careful because if you are late on your payments, the company will send out their collectors to repossess the organ. Remy and Jake were two of the top collectors. Having heard every excuse and promise for making payments; they stayed emotionally detached, doing their job with complete disregard to the health of the poor debtor. I totally understood this considering my position as my company’s credit manager. When one of Remy’s retrievals went wrong, the tables were turned on him as he became the recipient of a top of the line, new heart. This futuristic story touched on topics that are currently being discussed on this country’s health system. There was plenty of action in this film, with Jude and Forest doing an admirable job of acting. I found parts of the movie interesting; that made me think, for example, about the impact of large corporations’ policies on our society. The ending of this violent movie felt like a cop out for me; leaving the parts I did not understand incomplete. There were bloody and graphic scenes throughout this film and are in the movie trailer.
2 1/2 stars — DVD
Flash Movie Review: Fast Five
Something happened to me when I was in South Dakota. Driving on roads that stretched all the way to the horizon, with no speed limits; I transformed into a race car driver. At 103 mph it felt like I was flying, giving me a rush I had never experienced before in my life. When I returned home, my driving was forever altered. As long as there was no one else in the car, I took the posted speed limit signs to be mere suggestions. The faster I could drive, the more exciting it was for me. This movie was strictly an adrenaline rush. I felt like someone slapped a testosterone patch on me; I wanted to get behind the wheel of one of the cars in this thriller of a movie. I did not remember the movies that came before this installment and it did not matter. The story was written to allow maximum driving time. Vin Diesel (The Chronicles of Riddick, xXx) was given a minimum vocabulary for his role as Dominic Toretto. Having been broken out from a prison transport bus, Dominic and his group got involved in a car heist that went wrong, down in Brazil. Not only did the group have to battle corrupt crime boss Hernan Reyes, played by Joaquim de Almeida (Behind Enemy Lines, The Conspiracy); but they were also being pursued by federal agent Luke Hobbs, played by Dwayne Johnson (Tooth Fairy, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island). The acting was minimal; this film was made for crashes, bloody fights and speed. Knowing that ahead of time, just fasten your seat belts and enjoy the ride for it was damn good.
3 stars — DVD
moviejoltz 