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Flash Movie Review: How to Be Single
The rules for dating as far as I can tell are constantly changing. I use to wish for a handbook to make the process easier. From my experiences I feel the underlying reason for all of the confusion these days is mistrust. It seems as if very few people take another person at face value. There was a time where most dates did not have an issue getting picked up at their home. I do not know if it is partially because of the internet or all the different crime shows on television, but a majority of people prefer meeting at some type of public establishment. Now I actually agree with this logic; I’m all for meeting someone out publicly for the 1st time. Here is the thing though; even after a couple of dates I noticed some individuals balk at the suggestion of being picked up at their home or coming over to mine. There have been times when I’ve offered such an arrangement but sensed their uneasiness at the suggestion. I get the sense they feel I have an ulterior motive in offering such a thing. It is just weird to me; but I never force the issue. Now there is something else that I find perplexing; maybe you have noticed it yourself. Those friends that go from being single to being in a relationship quickly become outdated on the latest dating rules; it is as if their set of rules expired over night. You can query them, asking them how they knew their date was the right one; but to no avail, everyone has a different answer. When you think about it, it is amazing how people wind up being in a loving relationship. If you do not believe me just take a look at the women in this comedic romance. Alice, Robin and Meg; played by Dakota Johnson (Fifty Shades of Grey, Black Mass), Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect franchise, Bridesmaids) and Leslie Mann (The Other Woman, This is 40); each had different reasons for dating. It only became more confusing when love was introduced into it. Based on the best seller, the cast also included Anders Holm (The Intern, The Interview) as Tom and Jake Lacy (Carol, Obvious Child) as Ken. Though I have not read the book, I did get the idea the story was meant to shine a light on the dating world from a feminine perspective. I thought Leslie and Rebel were better when it came to acting skills. Honestly though, I did not think this movie did anything different; I was constantly getting bored with the story. In fact, the trailer for this film showed the best parts; throughout the movie I never connected to any of the characters. Now here is the funny thing, I could see where the story could have taken a bigger risk and delve deeper into the characters but the script was not geared to do it. After seeing this film I am just as confused about dating and love as I was before.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Deadpool
Superheroes were good and nice individuals when I was growing up. I was exposed to a couple of them at a young age. There was the camp counselor who lifted this bully off of me by grabbing their pants’ belt, using only one arm. It looked just like something I had seen on my Saturday morning cartoon shows. I remember a friend’s parent donated new school supplies for our class one year. When I was doing charity work for a health organization I encountered a score of superheroes who did so much to make their patients’ lives comfortable. In fact, if I think about it I would say some lottery winners who donate part of their winnings to charitable organizations could be considered superheroes. As far as I’m concerned superheroes come in all shapes and sizes. What they have in common is kindness and thoughtfulness. The thing you have to be careful about is the false ones; the ones that pretend to be doing a good deed, but have an ulterior motive for personal gain. There was this officer of an organization I encountered some time back. On the surface they came across as a caring, empathic person. However, their motivation was to get rich, so everything they did came with a price. All I have described so far did not prepare me for what I would find in this action movie. I never saw or heard of Deadpool before; but based on the crowd that showed up before me at the theater, I must be in the minority. WHEN a medical procedure did not turn out the way he expected Wade, played by Ryan Reynolds (Woman in Gold, The Proposal), had only one goal in mind, to get revenge against the people who promised they could cure him. This superhero adventure comedy was not your typical one; it was rated R for a reason. So why in the world were there families in the audience with their young children? Excuse my bluntness but those adults were there to satisfy their needs first before thinking about their children’s welfare. The script was filled with foul and hard language besides the inclusion of sexual scenes. With that off my chest now, I can say I was laughing through this fantasy film. The jokes and barbs were fast and furious. Those of you who may not be up on pop culture may not get all the humor in this picture. Ryan was perfect with the role; I understand this film was a decade long labor of love for him to get to the big screen. The script was straightforward; this was a revenge story. Some viewers may tire of the constant barrage of jokes and remarks; it pretty much was a main character of its own. Since I was not familiar with the character Deadpool, I felt I was missing something about the story. At the moment I do not know if Deadpool is a true hero. There was blood and violence throughout the film.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Hail, Caesar!
The first time I saw them on a small screen I thought they looked unusual, almost bizarre. Every Saturday afternoon there was a television show that showed old movies. I did not understand the point of a movie musical the first time I saw one. Why actors were breaking out into songs in the middle of their scenes baffled me. It was not until I paid attention to the lyrics that I realized the songs were explaining parts of the story. These films along with the others that got broadcast came from a different time. The screwball comedies, dramatic romances and other genres had movie stars that were, to use a cliche, larger than life. I was familiar with those who had a prolific career, churning out a new movie every year. These actors gave off an almost regal persona; it appeared the film studios kept each of them up on a pedestal to be admired and revered. As far as I can recall there was never any controversy associated with those actors, unlike the current actors of today. It seems as if more times than not actors are just as famous for their offscreen activities as they are for their acting roles. This however brings up an interesting thought: are current actors more out of control then the ones from years past? It would seem easy to say yes but upon more thought, I do not think there is much difference between the different eras except for the way we get our news presently. This comedy sheds some light on what the movie studios used to do for their actors. EDDIE Mannix, played by Josh Brolin (Everest, Sicario), had one mission and that was to keep things running smoothly for the film studio. With the actors they had under contract it was a 24 hour a day job. This dramatic comedy written and directed by Ethan and Joel Coen (Fargo, True Grit), was set in the 1950s when movie studios was churning out movies like an assembly line. The cast which included George Clooney (The Ides of March, Gravity) as Baird Whitlock, Tilda Swinton (We Need to Talk About Kevin, Only Lovers Left Alive) as Thora Thacker/Thessaly Thacker and Channing Tatum (Magic Mike franchise, Foxcatcher) as Burt Gurney were all representative of past celebrities. For example Channing’s character was similar to a past star like Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire. With the variety of actors in this film, each had essentially their own story going on. Though things kept moving along I felt most scenes were only offering a brief glimpse of a story before it was time for the next actor’s turn. The movie came across as little skits pieced together. I found the story amusing but nothing that warranted any major investment. Don’t get me wrong, this picture was fun to watch; however, if one is not familiar with movies that came out from the old Hollywood era, they may not enjoy this film as much.
2 3/4 stars for fans of old movies 2 stars for fans unfamiliar with the Golden Age of Hollywood
Flash Movie Review: Fifty Shades of Black
How often than not do you hear a child focusing and repeating a new word they heard somewhere. If it was not an appropriate word, parents used to scold and tell the child it was a “bad” word. What I noticed was the sterner the parents’ reprimand, the more the child would not let go of the word. At least that is what I used to see several years ago. I notice now parents try not to react or place a negative connotation on the word; they simply explain to their child that the word is not something that people say in public. I recall this one time while sitting on the train, across from me sat a mother with a child sitting in her lap. The child was taking great pleasure in repeating a slang word for flatulence over and over again. Though the mother was not reacting to her child’s vocalizations, the little boy was looking at everyone sitting around him. It appeared as if he was trying to get a reaction from anyone within earshot. I think part of the reason there were no reactions was the majority of people were plugged into their electronic devices, listening to music. This experience was fascinating because I was surprised for such a young age this little boy was trying to get a rise out of the audience around him, so to speak. Essentially the child was using shock value to get a reaction. It was the exact same method the writers were doing in this parody. USING the best selling novel Fifty Shades of Grey as a blueprint this comedy was co-written by and starred Marlon Wayans (Scary Movie franchise, A Haunted House franchise) as Christian. The cast also included Kali Hawk (Couples Retreat, Get Him to the Greek) as Hannah, Fred Willard (American Wedding, Roseanne-TV) as Gary and Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch-TV, Holy Man) as Mrs. Robinson. You could imagine with a cast like this, one would expect this comedy to be a real hoot. It was in fact one of the worst films I have seen recently. I just wanted to know if Florence knew what she was getting into when she agreed to her role. First let me talk about it being a parody. Maybe if it focused on the Fifty Shades story it would have helped instead of making fun of other celebrities and films. Secondly the humor was so dreadful and infantile; I did not find anything worthy of a laugh. It seemed as if Marlon was perfectly content to write a script that never went beyond the lowest and simplest form of cracking a joke. I understand the book was an adult read, so I get the idea this spoof would have its share of adult related themes. But c’mon how many times does one have to keep doing the same type of blue humor? I felt like I was stuck in a room with a bratty kid who just learned how to say the word “poop.”
1 star
Flash Movie Review: The Lady in the Van
Do you suppose between the realms of genius and madness there is a thin, semi-permeable membrane? There has to be because I have seen so many individuals who have greatness in them but other factors kept clogging it up from reaching its full maturation. If I remember correctly there was a world famous pianist who suffered with the fear that their fingers were made of glass; that they were capable of completely shattering off their hands or something like that. There are some creative things I have seen where I just wonder how the artist came up with the idea to make such an incredible piece of art. Even some of the new architecture for skyscrapers amazes me. It just makes me think that one needs a little madness in them to excel in a creative or scientific thought process. I remember this person who managed several celebrities and they always said most actors were crazy. Maybe some were, I do not know; however, I would think there has to be some mind manipulation to be able to inhabit a different persona. In fact I remember this other individual who was super smart; I am talking genius level. The things they talked about and did were way above everyone’s head. As time went on some changes came over them and their behavior turned odd. Nothing dangerous but I would say not rational anymore. Their life started going down into a dark place and they became addicted, or if not then constantly used an abundance of drugs. It was sad to see and then one day they just disappeared; no one knew what happened to them. BASED on true events Miss Shepherd, played by Maggie Smith (Harry Potter franchise, Downton Abbey-TV), decided to take up residence in the driveway of the home belonging to Alan Bennett, played by Alex Jennings (The Queen, Babel). Her van was her home. This film festival nominee was a perfect vehicle for Maggie to soar through the story. With touches of drama and comedy I thought she did an incredible job. I had no idea there was any truth to this unbelievable story; to tell you the truth, I had a hard time believing it. There is much to like about this film; the actors such as Jim Broadbent (Cloud Atlas, Moulin Rouge) as Underwood were all well suited to their roles. As time went on I found myself wishing I knew more about Alan and Miss Shepherd. The few flashback scenes were interesting but I did not feel as strong of a connection to the characters as I wanted. I almost felt this biographical dramedy would be more effective as a staged play. It seemed as if the scenes were only scratching the surface of the characters; there could have been more information given into what made each character tick. Nonetheless the fans of Maggie and those new to her will not be disappointed with such a fine performance.
3 stars
Flash Movie Review: Dirty Grandpa
The first time I saw a warning label printed on a product, I remember thinking why would anyone want to buy something that could harm them. It was a pack of cigarettes, I recall. The other item I remember were those plastic bags that dry cleaners used to wrap customers’ freshly laundered clothing. Today it seems as if almost everything comes with some type of warning. Some of them make sense like the ones regarding medicine and over the counter drugs. I am someone who wants to know if a drug is going to make me sleepy or loopy. Recently I bought a hot air popcorn popper and there was a warning not to submerge the base of it in water because it could be an electrical hazard. Ok, that makes sense to me. Now there are some product warnings I have seen where I think the manufacturer must be assuming the person buying their product has no common sense. Shouldn’t everyone know to lift up a hot pot by its handles? I absolutely understand companies are afraid they will get sued, but doesn’t the consumer bear some of the responsibility? Wasn’t there something in the news about a person taking legal action against a fast food chain because the hot coffee filled cup they placed between their legs, while driving out of the drive thru, spilled and burned their legs? Regarding movies, each of them comes with a rating which in a way is like a warning about the content of that particular film. None of the current ratings explain the warning one needs before seeing this comedy. HAVING recently buried his wife Dick Kelly, played by Robert De Niro (Joy, Being Flynn), convinced his soon to be married grandson Jason, played by Zac Efron (Neighbors, That Awkward Moment), to take him on a road trip. Their trip would reveal many new surprises. I want to know how the cast which also included Zoey Deutch (Beautiful Creatures, Ringer-TV) as Shadia, Aubrey Plaza (Safety Not Guaranteed, Life After Beth) as Lenore and Julianne Hough (Safe Haven, Footloose) as Meredith could do any type of press tour and not be embarrassed by this movie. This was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. The script was vulgar, crude, obnoxious and offensive; I could go on. It is astounding that these actors agreed to do this picture, especially Robert De Niro. Sure he can do comedy but why would he set himself up for ridicule. I guarantee you when the time comes to do a tribute to him; this movie will not be included in any of the film clips of his past roles. In regards to Zac, it seemed to me as if he counted on his looks more than his limited acting skills. This movie needed a warning label so innocent people would not spend their money and unwittingly let the studio know it is okay to make a crappy film.
1 star
Flash Movie Review: Moonwalkers
I was a window washer, a singer, a soldier, a mayor, an explorer and a spaceman. My imagination knew no boundaries when I pretended to be someone else. As far as I can tell, a vivid imagination is a vital component to the well-being of a growing child. I am sure all of us at one time play acted, becoming anything we wanted to be. It was so innocent back then in our childhood, too bad some individuals cannot keep that innocence in their adult life. There have been news stories about people who pretend to be high powered financiers, convincing innocent people to part with their money for huge gains they can attain with the help of the financier. It turns out these finance people were working a Ponzi scheme. I know this example is just one of many since there are all kinds of stories about someone impersonating someone else for their own gain. Now this pretending thing is not just exclusive to individuals; there have been some operations set up just to scam larger amounts of people. I remember reading about a so called pharmaceutical company that was selling placebos of the actual drugs patients required. On the flip side of this, what really blows my mind are the individuals who believe certain historical events never really occurred; that it was all made up. With the technology we have at our disposal today I am sure any group of people can create almost anything they want and just post it online. Can you imagine if you discovered something you thought was true was not? CONCERNED the astronauts of the Apollo 11 mission would not make it to the moon; CIA agent Kidman, played by Ron Perlman (Hellboy franchise, The Job), was sent to London to get director Stanley Kubrick to stage and film a pretend moon landing. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances agent Kidman was stuck with rock band manager Jonny, played by Rupert Grint (Harry Potter franchise, Driving Lessons), to create a video of the first moon landing. This comedy had a fun idea as its premise. When you think about it this could have been plausible since who would be able to say no among the general public. I thought it was comical that the government wanted Stanley Kubrick to direct. The beginning of this film was enjoyable as the set designers and costumers correctly got the time period. As the story continued I realized the humor was not hitting the mark; there was a disconnect of tired scenes that seemed like they were copies of past better ones. Maybe the additional story lines burdened the original idea because I felt things were just going crazy. Besides I did not feel there was any chemistry between the actors and to be honest, I felt a little sad for Rupert. The writer’s imagination was in the right place, it just was not executed in the best of ways.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Norm of the North
The human race has created many beautiful things throughout the centuries. Some of them remain standing today while others over time were demolished, either for something newer or in the name of progress. What I find hideous is when the people in power decide to placate the local residents by saving the facade of a structure they are tearing down only to paste it onto the building they are constructing in the same spot. It does not matter that there is not architectural connection between the two. For me a more lasting beauty is what nature creates all around us. I have been extremely lucky to have visited some of the national parks across the United States. From a geyser to a canyon to a mountain peak, I have seen places that have not been touched by a human hand. Can you imagine if there comes a time where, let us say, an electronic billboard is erected in a national park? Or how about if a hotel or gift shop is constructed next to natural stone arches or powerful waterfalls? I for one would consider it a crime to spoil such natural, pristine beauty that is here on this planet. Not everything has to be new and fresh to be considered a natural beauty (good advice for some celebrities); I do not know when our values changed to discard old objects or look at a place and determine how it can generate money. It is this type of message that was the focus of this animated film. WHEN real estate developer Mr. Greene, voiced by Ken Jeong (Ride Along 2, Community-TV), commits to building condos in the Arctic home of Norm, voiced by Rob Schneider (50 First Dates, The Hot Chick), the talking polar bear decides to travel to American to change Mr. Greene’s mind. I have to be blunt and right to the point here; this adventure comedy was one of the worst films I have seen in the past year. It was startling to say the least. The animation was poor, story weak, jokes both lame and inappropriate; I ask you what child needs to see a twerking polar bear? What in the world possessed Heather Graham (Boogie Nights, The Hangover franchise) as Vera and especially Bill Nighy (About Time, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel franchise) as Socrates to take part in this disaster? The movie studio behind this film, as far as I know, is not known for creating animated pictures and it showed. I am not exaggerating in the least when I tell you the children in the audience never reacted to anything on the screen while most of the parents were either focusing on their snacks or smart phones. The only reason I am including an extra 1/4 star to the rating is because the message was sound, not that young children would understand the concept here. This movie was as lame as this joke: this film left me cold.
1 1/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: Ride Along 2
It is hard to tell someone what they are attempting to do is not very good. I am not referring to someone’s behavior or actions per se, more as a reality check to a person’s desire. Many of you may have seen these reality shows where a person auditions to be part of the program, as a singer or dancer. I am all for encouraging a person to pursue their dreams, but some of the people I have seen on these television shows appear to have been chosen solely to amuse the viewing audience. I find it perplexing that the contestant claims their family and friends said they would make a great singer or dancer, when it is obvious they cannot carry a tune or stay on beat. Remembering one of my writing classes, there was a student who wanted to be a writer. Through class discussions we found out his family encouraged him by holding mini story times for him to read his stories to the family. Based on what he read in our class, his stories tended to follow a formula: the endings always involved someone dying and the use of profanity was meant to shock the reader since its use rarely fit his characters. He did pass the class but by junior year he either dropped out of school or changed majors; I never saw him again. I do not think anyone wants or enjoys having to be the one to perform the reality check, but isn’t it preferable to watching the person go through with some ill-advised life decisions based on unrealistic hopes? There was a similar situation taking place in this comedic sequel. BEN Barber, played by Kevin Hart (The Wedding Ringer, Get Hard), was positive he was on the right path to becoming a permanent police officer when he accompanied his future brother-in-law Detective James Payton, played by Ice Cube (21 Jump Street franchise, Barbershop franchise), to Miami to help solve a case. James was convinced Ben could not handle the pressure. If you saw the original movie and enjoyed it then you will be in store for the exact same thing in this film. I first have to say I do not consider Kevin an actor; he is exactly the same in every role I have seen him in previously. Regarding this action picture, there were many aspects of it that irritated me. The jokes about Kevin’s height (is this a requirement for every one of his movies?), the jokes about the two characters becoming brother-in-laws and the lack of a solid story all contributed to my boredom. However I did enjoy Ken Jeong (The Hangover franchise, All About Steve) as A.J. and Benjamin Bratt (Miss Congeniality, Demolition Man) as Antonio Pope. This film as far as I was concerned was a quick money grab by the movie studio. Someone needs to tell them they are not producing a decent product if this is what they come up with for a sequel.
1 3/4 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Perfect Host
If you plan on serving one dessert per person then your dinner party will be a success. At least that is my philosophy when it comes to having people over for dinner. I am more confident with my baking skills than my cooking abilities; so I figure if the main course flops I can at least have my guests leave with full bellies from the variety of desserts out on the dining room table. The reason I am still timid with cooking is because my past dinner parties involved ordering in food, like pizza. Only recently have I ventured into creating home cooked meals. I do not know why things changed, but I know there is something special about sitting down with friends and family to share a meal. Preparing the meal and watching people experience a positive feeling from the things I created is a real trip for me. It stimulates my creative side and forms a memorable bond. In fact, I always insist my guests take food home with them because I believe when they go to eat the leftovers; the memory of our time together will solidify in their mind and heart. To me this is one of the foundations that makes for a successful dinner party. As host it is my job to conduct the party’s events, from appetizers all the way to desserts and snacks. I am a sucker for new products which means I always include something new for everyone to taste; it is sort of like having our own focus group. Even with all the things I do my diner parties pale in comparison to the one in this comedic crime thriller. CRIMINAL John Taylor, played by Clayne Crawford (A Walk to Remember, The Baytown Outlaws), needed to lay low and thought he found the perfect place. It was the house of Warwick Wilson, played by David Hyde Pierce (The Fisher King, Frasier-TV), who was in the middle of preparing a dinner party when John rang his doorbell. This film festival winner’s story was a bit off the wall in an odd sort of way. There was a mixture of whimsical and threatening scenes, some seemed implausible. Along with Tyrees Allen (12 Angry Men, RoboCop) as Roman and Megahn Perry (The Convent, The Gravedancers) as Simone De Marchi, the cast was fine. David Hyde Pierce did his best with the role, though the character had similarities to David’s previous acting roles. There was nothing great about this movie but I enjoyed the surprise twists and what I can only call the looniness in the script. It was that craziness that wore the action down in my opinion. I did not fine this film to be a true thriller; it was more like a light version. On DVD this film was okay; it certainly is not a must see type of thing to watch. I would not choose it for a dinner and movie night at my house. There were multiple scenes that showed blood.
2 stars — DVD
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