Blog Archives
Flash Movie Review: The Conjuring: Last Rites
I HAVE A FRIEND WHO NEVER eats leftover food. It drives me crazy. He says the food rarely tastes as good on the second day, which is why he does not bother taking home any “doggie bags” from restaurants or friends and family meals. I, on the other hand, love leftovers. One of my favorite leftover food is pizza. In fact, I prefer eating it cold on the second day and even third when there is a lot of it leftover after a gathering. Another food I enjoy eating for a couple days after is turkey meatloaf or turkey sloppy joe’s. When I think about the type of foods I have eaten after the day they were made, there are very few I even bother heating up. From chicken chow mein, to lasagna, to chicken fajitas; I relish them just as much when they were first served hot from the stove. Maybe because many of my school lunch meals through elementary and high school were brown-bagged sandwiches, I still find it odd at times when someone I am with orders a hot meal for lunch. In my brain, it was trained that lunchtime would involve a cold sandwich and a bag of chips. The only food I can think of that I would eat warm at lunchtime was a hamburger or grilled cheese sandwich. THIS IDEA OF EXTENDING A MEAL beyond a day can be easily translated to other genres; for example, books and movies. Most book sequels or installments from the original story have been just as moving to me. My first introduction to book series were the Hardy Boys’ books. I remember spending hours reading through these detective mystery books. When I was halfway through the series, I began alternating the Hardy Boys with other books because I wanted to extend my time reading about the boy detectives. It surprises me when I think about it since I was more of an “instant gratification” type of boy. Though, these days, I do find myself wishing I could binge watch some of the shows I watch on streaming platforms instead of doing them weekly or biweekly. With the movies I have seen, the opposite is true. There has been some film franchises that excelled with their sequels; however, in my experience, the majority of film sequels I watched were not as good as the original movie. The other thing about sequels, sometimes the first picture that came out was complete and satisfying to me. I did not need to see those same characters again. However, I have been surprised when it does happen and I find myself enjoying the different plots with each installment. Regarding today’s review of this latest sequel, it was not part of my awareness or desire that I wanted or needed to see these paranormal investigators again. HAVING THE MINDSET THAT THEY WERE retired from their work with evil entities, a pair of investigators are drawn into one last case that could lead to serious consequences for their family. With Patrick Wilson (Midway, Moonfall) as Ed Warren, Vera Farmiga (Origin, The Many Saints of Newark) as Lorraine Warren, Mia Tomlinson (The Beast Must Die-TV, The Lost Pirate Kingdom-TV) as Judy Warren, Ben Hardy (Bohemian Rhapsody, Love at First Sight) as Tony Spera, and Rebecca Calder (Love Me Do, Kandahar) as Janet Smurl; this supernatural horror, mystery thriller surprised me. Granted, I walked into it with low expectations, but found it kept my attention as it built up a steady stream of suspense throughout the story. There was less violence and blood compared to the previous movies as the writers used a dual story line that alternated back and forth between the two. At first, I did not understand what was going on, wondering if I was seeing younger versions of Ed and Lorraine, or members of their extended family. But soon after, it became clear that the plots would intersect. The acting was good as well as the atmosphere of the sets and costumes. All in all, I was entertained and glad I saw what I hope will be the final installment.
2 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Sinners
FROM THE EARLY START OF MY career path, I learned the latest or newest “thing” came with a short shelf life. One of my first full time jobs was at a long established company that sold wholesale goods. Our competition consisted of several companies, half which were local. I quickly realized all of us sold, for the most part, the same items. This made me wonder how a customer chooses which company to buy from when they all were selling the same goods. It became apparent to me that people obviously buy on the cheapest price for the most part; however, there was something more that swayed customers’ decisions. Paying attention to the different departments that were involved with a sale, I realized it was customer service, the relationship between sales and the customer. Making a significant connection to the client was vital in establishing that relationship. Another component was the company’s policies. For us, we never questioned returns and were quick to ship out replacements before receiving the damaged/flawed goods back to our warehouses. Many times we would simply send the replacement item at no charge, and this was at a time before the creation of the huge online companies many of us deal with these days. The last piece to this mind puzzle was creating packaging that caught the client’s eye. This is where my job responsibilities came into play. THE OWNER OF THE COMPANY SIGNED a contract with a new manufacturing company that was just starting out. He loved their product and moved quickly to secure a relationship with them. We were going to be the first to carry their line in the states, but only for a short period of time. My boss came and asked me to create a marketing campaign for the new line. I loved the idea because I would be able to use the creative side of my brain. It became my job to create advertising packages for the several items we were to carry, designing the sample books, and coming up with naming each item. Because at the time I was heavy into science fiction films and literature, I created an “outer space” theme to the campaign. I named each line a word that recently acquired a science fiction definition to its established one. Words such as photon, ray gun, and interplanetary were on my list of name options. Though I am not an artist by any means, i was able to precisely detail the artwork we needed with my descriptive text. The new line became a huge success for us; I was elated and proud. In the back of my mind, I knew this would be short-lived, and sure enough once we passed the exclusivity expiration date our competitors quickly acquired rights and began selling the same products we had been. This experience continues to remind me that newest and freshest is a fleeting moment; there is always someone who wants part of your success. It certainly was apparent in this dramatic horror thriller. WANTING TO START A NEW LIFE, twin brothers return to their homeland to open a business. Its opening success attracted more than profitability. With newcomer Miles Caton as Sammie Moore, Saul Williams (Blink Twice, Akilla’s Escape) as Jeddiah, Andrene Ward-Hammond (The Lovebirds, Project Power) as Ruthie, Michael B. Jordan (Creed franchise, A Journal for Jordan) as Smoke, and Jack O’Connell (Back to Black, Lady Chatterley’s Lover) as Remmick; I was mesmerized by the original story in this supernatural film. Add in the fine acting, and I found myself totally engaged with the story lines. Every scene offered something interesting, whether it was the acting, action, script lines; I found the whole movie totally cohesive and logical. Lately, it has not been often where I feel I got my money’s worth, but with this picture I felt every penny was well spent. There were multiple scenes filled with blood and violence.
3 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: In the Lost Lands
WHEN SOMEONE THINKS THEY ARE ALWAYS right, it is a good bet that person would absolutely enjoy having total power. I used to work at a fitness center where I had a boss who always thought she was right. Most of the time, I would not let it bother me; but when she decided that the schedule of classes would start changing every six weeks, I respectfully expressed my opinion. I could tell she was perturbed, but I did not care. To me, we instructors were there to serve the members’ needs, not my boss’s ego. I expressed how some of our members only have a particular time they can come to the center to workout. Members already expressed when they find an instructor they like, they want to stay with them. The proof of that was the fact I had the largest number of members attending my classes. My boss said it was important for the members to experience assorted styles of workouts and instructors. I countered each instructor makes sure to change up the exercise routines that are done in their classes, so the member’s body never gets used to a class and loses the shock value on their muscles. We went back and forth, point and counterpoint, until my boss said she did not care what a few members think, she is changing the number of times we will be changing formats and classes. And just like I predicted the members loudly complained and as a result attendance in general dropped until my boss bitterly gave in and returned the schedule back to the old format. THE STORY I JUST SHARED WAS recently expressed to a friend of mine who was telling me about the changes taking place at her office. She worked for a private company where the long-term president was recently replaced. What she told me was both frightening and sad. This new president was not discreet in showing his disdain for the way the past president ran the company. He was also determined to cut costs, no matter the ramifications. I sat and listened to my friend list things this new person already did and how his actions were affecting the employees. For example, the new president never listened to advice from anyone. Upon one meeting, he would already have formed an opinion of the person; most of the time he thought the person was inferior and would begin to treat them with disdain. After my friend was done sharing all her horror stories, I told her the new person sounded like a power-hungry dictator. I questioned why someone would want to lead by instilling fear in the employees who helped make the company so successful. It was a perfect example of absolute power being corruptive and destructive. I saw the same thing taking place in this fantasy action adventure. DESPITE ON A MISSION GIVEN FROM the queen to acquire a special power for her, a hunter and her guide were being hunted by someone in the queen’s realm who wanted her dead. With Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil franchise, Monster Hunter) as Gray Alys, Dave Bautista (The Killer’s Game, My Spy franchise) as Boyce, Arly Jover (Blade, A Prominent Patient) as The Enforcer, Amara Okereke (Red Rise-TV, The Morning After-TV) as The Queen, and Fraser James (Yardie, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter) as The Patriarch; this movie based on a George R.R. Martin (Game of Thrones) short story was cheaply done. I thought the special effects and sets were paltry and unimpressive. Even if the entire movie was shot in one room and everything shown was CGI, it was poorly done and unrealistic looking. The script bounced around, never providing a cohesive plan of logic. As for the acting, it was nothing but average at best. I honestly was not sure why Milla and Dave agreed to star in it until I saw they were producers. What were they thinking? This film was a disappointment, and I wonder if there was only one person in charge who greenlighted everything needed to create this waste of time.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Nosferatu
THERE IS A FINE LINE THAT separates love and obsessiveness/possessiveness. I have experienced both. Over a summer some time ago, I was dating someone who on our first date made a point to tell me they were not into relationship drama. It worked for me because I felt the same way. If one cannot sit down and have an adult conversation, expressing one’s feelings, then I know the relationship will be doomed. On our first date, I found out they had a PhD, the youngest in their class to do so, taught at a prestigious university in the city, their favorite countries for vacation, and the author of two books. Not that I had an issue hearing about all the accomplishments, but I wanted to hear more about their background, thoughts about the world, and their dreams. I know this may be a lot to ask someone on a first date, but listing accomplishments without asking me any questions is something I consider as a red flag for me to file away as we decide on a second date. And so that you know, I have always agreed on a second date unless there was a significant issue with the person where I was not feeling comfortable around them. FAST FORWARD, AND WE HAD BEEN dating for a few months. Within that amount of time, I unexpectedly found myself talking to their mother, when a cellphone was pushed into my hand, and I was told to say hi. Our talks veered towards me, being told what we were going to be doing for the holidays and other special occasions in their life; nothing was asked about what I did for the holidays or what special events did I have coming up like birthday or graduation parties. Granted, I have always been deliberately slow on introducing my friends into our relationship, preferring to wait and make sure the two of us have built a solid and healthy foundation before including friends and family into the mix. But this pattern of me always having to be available for their functions and them not for mine was becoming a problem for me. Add another development where I would get multiple texts asking where I was if I did not pick up their phone call right away. I was no longer an equal participant in this relationship, and it was time to end it. As you might imagine, it did not go well when I sat down and tried talking to them. Whatever I said would get twisted for them to talk about themselves and what they needed from me, so that I could not leave them. I did not waver and eventually said my goodbyes. For the next two to three weeks, I was still getting texts from them; I finally had to block them. You will understand now, why my heart went out to one of the main characters in this fantasy, horror mystery. THE SUFFERING FROM MENTAL AND PHYSICAL episodes a recent bride was experiencing took on a more intense and darker nature when a new resident moved into the area. With Lily-Rose Depp (Wolf, Silent Night) as Ellen Hunter, Nicholas Hoult (Juror #2, The Order) as Thomas Hunter, Bill Skarsgard (The Crow, The Devil All the Time) as Count Orlok, Aaron Taylor-Johnson (The Fall Guy, Kraven the Hunter) as Friedrich Harding, and William Dafoe (Kinds of Kindness, Poor Things) as Professor Albin Eberhart von Franz; this gothic supernatural tale was stunning to watch. The sets, costumes, and makeup were perfect, which added more intensity into the scenes. The acting was wonderful; I never recognized Bill Skarsgard. As for the script, if you are looking to be scared out of your seat, I do not think it will necessarily happen with this movie. The story is filled more with uncomfortable ickiness and dread than your typical action vampire stories. I felt the beginning part was slow, but methodical. Once I became accustomed to the pacing, in a way it felt like it was contributing to the buildup of suspense. The best way to view this film is to forget your memories of past vampire films and walk in with an open mind. There were scenes of blood and violence.
3 1/3 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Crow
ACTS OF LOVE CAN BE EXPRESSED in many ways, from diamonds to kidneys. Yes, I said kidneys. A friend’s father had issues with his kidneys and needed a transplant. My friend immediately offered one of his if it would be a match. Gratefully, they were, and the operation was done soon after. My friend never hesitated; he and his dad were always close and now this act made them even closer. It was a selfless, loving act, and I am happy to report that the two of them are perfectly fine and healthy today. Another act of love I witnessed was our friend’s girlfriend nurse him back from the brink of death. He contracted a virus that brought on a cornucopia of issues where his body was shutting down. For weeks he was in intensive care and his girlfriend never left his side. Since she had a medical background, she checked everything the nurses and doctors were doing for him, from tests to administering drugs. One doctor was supposed to perform a vital test on a certain day that would lead the medical staff in the right direction toward treatment. This doctor came to see my friend when the girlfriend was in the hospital cafeteria eating lunch. When she returned and asked her boyfriend if the doctor showed up and performed the procedure, my friend told her he showed up but did not do the test. She immediately hunted him down in the hospital and let me just say, “read him the riot act.” The doctor returned that afternoon and performed the test on my friend. BESIDES WITNESSING ACTS OF LOVE BETWEEN humans, I have seen acts between humans and animals. To me, they are just as valid. I was on vacation, staying at an inn where the owners made a breakfast buffet each morning for the guests. While I was seated at a table sampling the baked goods, an obvious senior dog slowly came into the dining room. The dog had a limp as it walked, which was a good thing because it bumped into the leg of a chair that a recently departed guest had not pushed all the way back into the table. Keeping a watch on the dog, I quickly realized it must be blind by the way it was brushing into things around the buffet table. When the owners appeared and made their round of greetings to each occupied table of guests, when they came up to me, I asked the age of their dog. He was thirteen years old, and they confirmed he was blind and arthritic. We started talking about pets and they shared they had to carry him on stairs and serve him soft food because he was missing some teeth. It was obvious to me how much they loved him; when they were describing the things they did for him, I did not detect any negative feelings from them. They simply loved their pet and would take care of him all the way to the end of his life. What loving dog owners. These acts of love and witnessing them are part of the reason I felt I would bond with the story in this fantasy, action horror romance. AFTER BEING BRUTALLY MURDERED ALONGSIDE HIS girlfriend in a home invasion Eric, played by Bill Skarsgard (It franchise, Nosferatru), finds himself being alive in another world. The love he had for his girlfriend prevented him from completely dying, giving him the chance to get revenge on all those who murdered the two of them. With FKA twigs (Honey Boy, Brighton Beach) as Shelly, Danny Huston (The Dead Don’t Hurt, Ride Above) as Vincent Roeg, Josette Simon (The Witches, Tell that to the Winter Sea) as Sophia, and Laura Birn (Void, A Walk Among the Tombstones) as Marion; this supernatural crime film had potential. The chemistry between Bill and FKA twigs seemed authentic and though it took a while to pick up, their love story was interesting despite being quick in nature. Sadly, the script and directing did not create a solid story. The pacing was odd, going from fast action to soft loving reminiscences to supernatural scenes. I found parts of the movie went slowly and never felt deep emotions except for Bill’s character. Also, maybe it was a false expectation on my part, but I thought there would be more back story to Bill’s character, both the inmate and superhero sides. It made me question how he suddenly became this tough fighter, for example. Ultimately, I was bored through most of the time and wished I could have at least liked it. There were several scenes filled with blood and violence.
1 ¾ stars
Flash Movie Review: Hellboy
THE SOUNDS FROM CONVERSATIONS AROUND ME blurred into a curtain of white noise. I was not focused on any of them, only aware of the background noise they created. Instead, I was pulling travel brochures out of my knapsack, that I had picked up at the hotel before taking myself out to lunch. The restaurant was a local establishment I had read about and was curious to check out. Whenever I travel out of state, I always try to eat at least one meal at a restaurant that is not part of a national chain. When I walked into this place I could smell the smokiness of barbeque in the air. The hostess had placed me in a booth by a window; I not only had a view to their outdoor patio, but I also had a wide view of the dining area inside. There was a constant flow of activity, from patrons walking in and out to the wait staff keeping up with the flow of meals coming out of the kitchen. I liked looking at the different food dishes being ordered; it was a way for me to see what was popular on the menu. After I decided and gave my order to the waitress, I delved into my reading material. IT WAS DURING THE TAIL END of my meal when I realized that curtain of white noise had dissipated. Looking up from my brochures I noticed a good portion of the restaurant patrons were looking at the front entrance. Standing at the door was a couple with a child. It did not hit me immediately, but pretty darn close that the patrons had stopped talking to stare at this couple. There was nothing I could see that was unusual about the couple. I was hoping they were not staring for this reason, but I knew deep inside it had to be the only reason the diners would have looked up and stopped talking to each other. The couple was biracial. Their child had a mix of features from both parents; dark cocoa skin, soft tightly curled brown hair and light-colored eyes. I was stunned that a biracial couple would draw so much attention. Why would anyone care? I do not have the answer, but it was not until the couple was being led to a table that the other patrons resumed their conversations. What in the world would they have done I wonder, if the main character from this action, adventure fantasy came into the restaurant? AN ANCIENT SORCERESS KNOWN AS THE Blood Queen, played by Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element, Resident Evil franchise), was plotting her revenge on mankind. Her plan included an unusual offer. With David Harbour (Revolutionary Road, The Green Hornet) as Hellboy, Ian McShane (Hercules, John Wick franchise) as Professor Broom, Brian Gleeson (Logan Lucky, Phantom Thread) as Merlin and Sasha Lane (American Honey, After Everything) as Alice Monaghan; this reboot was filled with blood and violence. In fact, that pretty much says it all about this picture. I found the script lifeless. What I assume was supposed to be humorous remarks bordered on vitriol. There was nothing fun or exciting in this film except Milla’s character. She was the only character that I cared about. I have never read the graphic novels but compared to the original movie, this one was a waste as far as I could tell. In all honesty, watching this film was like seeing a high school production that had not gone through its technical week. I felt different scenarios were shown but never carried all the way through to conclusion. All I can say is it was hell sitting through this film.
1 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: Personal Shopper
DEATH for some people is not always a permanent state. These individuals maintain their bond to the deceased, though it is not necessarily reciprocal. They may talk to their loved one every day, bringing them up on current events or asking advice on an upcoming decision. I had a relative who went to see her mother every single day, having on hand her mother’s favorite coffee and sweet roll. She would park on the side of the road and walk over to a congested area of headstones. With her folding stool, thermos and the plastic bag that carried the sweet roll and napkins; she would sit by the side of her mother’s grave and pour each of them a cup of coffee. Setting the cup down on the headstone, she let her mother know she brought her favorite sweet roll; she placed the item on a small paper plate to then join the perched cup of coffee. This ritual took place every day and after she had spent an hour or two, she would drink up the coffee from her mother’s cup and ask her if she was done with her sweet roll. She would tear the sweet roll into pieces and once she was outside of the cemetery would scatter the pieces by a tree for the birds. I am a firm believer whatever means a person needs to do to deal with death is fine with me; I do not judge or question. Everyone deals with death in their own way. Also, I feel anything is possible. Recently a friend of mine had died after a year long illness. After notifications went out to family and friends, a few days later out of the blue my friend’s cell phone rang with an unknown phone number. There was no one on the line when the call was answered. You want to talk about an eerie moment? Well someone close to the deceased who is in mourning could see the call as a sign. I could easily understand their thought process with this incident. If you choose to watch this mystery thriller, be prepared to experience something unearthly. Or is it really? WORKING as a personal shopper Maureen Cartwright, played by Kristen Stewart (Certain Women, The Twilight Saga franchise), was convinced her deceased brother was trying to contact her. This film festival winning drama also starred Lars Eidinger (Everyone Else, Clouds of Sils Maria) as Ingo, Sigrid Bouaziz (Portrait of the Artist, The Tunnel-TV) as Lara and Anders Danielsen Lie (Reprise, Herman) as Erwin. I have not always been a fan of Kristen Stewart, but I have to say this was one of her best roles. She pretty much carries the interesting story. Watching this movie was like riding an amusement park’s roller coaster; not the big major ones, but the ones that give you a thrill but do not let your stomach move up into your throat. At first I was not getting settled into the story since the script kept things somewhat sparse. But then layer by layer I found myself drawn into the surreal story. I enjoyed the directing in this picture; but at times the script became muddled and fell apart. The concept of the story interested me overall, because as I said you just never know.
2 ½ stars
Flash Movie Review: A Haunted House 2
The repetitive irritations in life can be considered the universe’s way of testing us to see if we have learned to let go. Scrubbing down from top to bottom your kitchen after spotting a trail of ants, only to discover the next day they returned, can be upsetting. Maybe you were inflicted with a rash, where you had to apply a topical ointment and take medicine. It finally cleared up in a couple of weeks. Three days later your skin started to itch, heralding the return of the rash and a new round of antibiotics. This past winter was not only hard for me but it was irritating. It seemed like every time I shoveled the snow around my house another storm would come by and I had to redo the sidewalks again. I remember at one point thinking if I could rent a flame thrower, it would be worth it to take care of the unrelenting snow. At least I knew the seasons would eventually change but imagine what poor Malcolm, played by Marlon Wayans (Scary movie franchise, White Chicks), had to go through when he discovered he was being haunted again. In this sequel Malcolm was starting out fresh; he had his new girlfriend Megan, played by Jamie Pressly (My Name is Earl-TV; I Love you, Man), a new house and new neighbor Miguel, played by Gabriel Iglesias (Magic Mike, Days of Santiago). Life was good until Malcolm noticed something was wrong. The basis of this comedy horror movie was to be a parody of several recent scary films. I will say Marlon threw himself into his character, screaming and yelling his way through the physical stunts. At one point it seemed as if Marlon created this picture just so he could see how many times he could be on screen without wearing clothes. Since the movie trailer had some of the better humor, there was very little in this film that produced a chuckle or snicker out of me. I just found the story was one long series of skits, each one getting more ridiculous than the previous one. As for commenting on the directing or camera work, there really was nothing I could offer since this film didn’t pretend to be anything else but what it was–a low level joke fest. Maybe I was wrong to assume Marlon had more to offer, because if he is going to make these movies a continuing franchise, they will become nothing more than a plantar wart that keeps coming back.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Oculus
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul but a mirror reflects what is in the mind. When one looks at themselves in a mirror they may not be seeing an accurate image. One person can only see all the derogatory names they were called when they were younger. Another individual may see the most beautiful person they have ever seen. I have had a love/hate relationship with mirrors that has mostly been hate. I have arranged my classes where the participants can see themselves in the mirrors. It makes sense that people should see what they are doing in class. The added benefit is I do not have to see myself because I know the person in that mirror has a warped perception of themself. There was a summer during my college years where I was greeted in the mirror by someone who had the confidence of Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever. It did not last long before the image was replaced with a man, who used to carry 85 extra pounds on their body splattered with bruises. I know when I look into a mirror these days I rarely see any feel good attributes. There are days where the mirror tries to be kind and others where it is gloomy; however, I am grateful I have never seen anything sinister like I saw in the mirror in this horror film. Karen Gillan (We’ll Take Manhattan-TV movie, Not Another Happy Ending) played Kaylie Russell who wanted to prove what happened to her and her brother Tim, played by Brenton Thwaites (Home and Away, Charge Over You), had to be something supernatural. I feel I always have to preface my review of horror movies by saying I am not a big fan of them. If this film is any indication I may no longer need to state it. Without gratuitous bloodshed or gross mutilations, I found this movie to be tensely exciting. There was a continuous thread of dread throughout as the story reeled between the adult and childhood versions of the brother and sister. Katee Sackhoff (Riddick, Battlestar Galactica-TV) and Rory Cochrane (Argo, Dazed and Confused) were wonderful as the siblings’ parents Marie and Alan Russell. At one point I felt I was witnessing a psychotic episode, the next a hallucinatory one; all of it made for a mind bending experience where I was fidgeting in my seat with anticipation. I will tell you there were several scenes that made me squeamish and there was blood shown; but on the strength of the script, I know if I had seen myself in a mirror afterwards I would have seen a satisfied moviegoer.
3 stars
moviejoltz 