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Flash Movie Review: Strange Magic
Their skin had a distinct glow that made it look like soft amber. Only their teeth, when revealed in a wide smile, could outshine the beauty of their skin. If one could pull their gaze from that face and widen it to include the rest of the body, they would see a sculpted form that would remain solid as a statue in any environment. There are some people whose heart would lasso such a being, letting their love wash all over them. Unfortunately they do not realize one very important reality; there is a slow moving poison pushing inside of them. I refer to this condition as “dark heart.” The individual may be the perfect fit for what you consider to be beautiful; however, there is darkness inside of them. You may remember I consider our bodies to be rented, that they are constantly in a state of change. So I put little emphasis on the external side of a person. I find someone who displays things like kindness, honesty and respect to be much more interesting. Things like hair and height have no relevance in determining if a person is a good human being or not. EVEN in a world inhabited by elves and fairies, true love can have a strong influence. When the Bog King, voiced by Alan Cumming (Spy Kids franchise, The Good Wife-TV), kidnapped Marrianne’s, voiced by Evan Rachel Wood (Across the Universe, The Ides of March), sister and held her hostage until he received a magical potion; it would take someone with a determined will to combat all the forces that were put in place. Based on a story by George Lucas (Star Wars franchise, American Graffiti), this animated fantasy was not only colorful to watch, it was one of the oddest movies I have seen in a while. The idea behind the story was solid and I could relate to it; however, having various characters break out into popular songs from the past decades to tell the story was weird. All the actors like Elijah Kelly (Hairspray, Red Tails) as Sunny and Kristin Chenoweth (The Boy Next Door, Glee-TV) as the Sugar Plum Fairy were in good voice, but I did not care too much for any of the characters that were voiced. The villain character was weak which contributed to me remaining bored throughout the movie. Honestly this film was not only dull it had little magic compared to recent animated films I have seen. I was so surprised to read later that George had been developing this story for years and finally pushed it forward to become a movie. All I can say is behind this pretty facade of a film there was only boring dreariness. There was an extra scene in the middle of the credits and at the end.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Boy Next Door
The woman took a part-time job doing stock at a store, even though the full boxes were hard to carry. She did not care because she needed income to manage her mounting bills. The man traveled across the border to pick up medicines that were not yet approved in his country to combat his illness. The driver was afraid they were not going to make their interview for a job; so they drove over the speed limit and after stopping to look both ways, continued driving through any red traffic lights. Each of these individuals did what they did because they were desperate. I am sure each of us has performed at least one desperate act at some point during our life. Whether you were desperate to finish the race even though your leg was cramping up or you were desperate to get accepted at one particular university so you took on a heavy class load to up your grade point average; we have all been there at some time. One of the definitions for the word desperate says, “involves or employs extreme measures in an attempt to escape defeat or frustration;” another one states, “suffering extreme need or anxiety for money.” Evidently these must be desperate times to have made this film. JENNIFER Lopez (Maid in Manhattan, The Wedding Planner) played recently divorced mother Claire Peterson. After Noah Sandborn, played by Ryan Guzman (Step Up franchise, Pretty Little Liars-TV) had moved in next door, it was encouraging to see the positive influence he had on her son Kevin, played by Ian Nelson (The Judge, The Hunger Games). The compliments she was getting from Noah were nice to hear also. It was not long until Noah appeared to be part of the family, but which family member? This thriller was wrong on so many levels; I do not know where to begin. So let me start with Jennifer because she was the executive producer. I hope she did not think this role would make Hollywood stand up and notice her as a big dramatic actress. Stripping down to underwear for a scene does not automatically make a person appear vulnerable and dramatic, let alone younger; it takes acting and that is what was missing from this movie. By the way, that goes for everyone. The story was icky to start with and it was made worse by Claire being a school teacher. Kristin Chenoweth (Bewitched, Stranger Than Fiction) had the burden of playing vice principal Vicky Lansing, a clownish cartoonish character. It was horrible because the script was lame to the point of almost being laughable. There were no surprises since it was so predictable. This bad film needed more than a detention, it needed to be expelled.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Good People
Desperation widens the mind’s pool of irrational thoughts. This will send waves to slip up onto logic’s shores. Boy is this true when money is needed to survive. When I was between jobs a long time ago, I was willing to do anything to earn a paycheck to pay my mounting bills. Besides my regular classes I was the go-to sub for other instructors because I had the freest time on my hands. To supplement my income I was always taking small odd jobs like proofreading or delivery service. I remember this one job where I was asked to conduct a yoga demonstration at a grand opening of a hospital’s professional building. The money was good and much needed so I agreed to the event, even though I had some reservations. When I arrived on the opening date I was led to the so-called staging area. They wanted me to stand and perform on a folding table draped in a white tablecloth. As soon as I placed my hand on the table it wobbled from side to side. In addition I was told there was going to be children coming right after their snack time. Without going into the horrific details let me just say I was standing on top of the table in tree pose with kids playing hide-and-go seek under the tablecloth. I thought the money I was earning would have to go for medical bills because I was going to be knocked off my “stage.” OVER their heads in debt with very little income at present; married couple Anna and Tom Wright, played by Kate Hudson (Bride Wars, The Reluctant Fundamentalist) and James Franco (This is the End, Spider-Man franchise), stared at the bag of money they found in their recently deceased tenant’s apartment. They did not know the money had been stolen. This crime action thriller had a good idea that was executed in a completely bad way. Along with James and Kate in the cast there was Tom Wilkinson (Belle, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel) as John Halden and Sam Spruell (Defiance, Snow White and the Huntsman) as Jack Witkowski; one would think there would have been a chance of seeing a decent film come out of them. Sorry, this was not the case because the script was atrocious and ridiculous. I only thought Sam’s acting and character was worth my time. Some of the scenes were so far-fetched that I had to laugh; what was everyone thinking they were trying to produce with this movie? In my opinion this was the film the movie studio should have pulled from release.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Wolves
I would not say the notion was perpetuated in my small part of the world, but I did not see much encouragement to reach out either. It became apparent at a young age for me; in particular, it was one of the first classes I had ever attended. Within the small group of kids I sat with I was the only left-handed student; I was different. The teacher spent no time teaching me how to hold a pencil or a pair of scissors. From there my awarenesses expanded to race and religion. I do not want to say prejudices went unchecked, but it seemed the differences between the students were something that did not get embraced. Instead, they were sort of pushed to the side like guardrails on our growth path. I have seen a change in attitudes where being different has less negative connotations to it. Not enough in my opinion, but I see the younger generation being more receptive to each other’s differences. Some may disagree with me but I have seen how a school’s sports team rivalry grows out of control and permeates the students’ mindset. Sure one team wins and one loses but some carry that rivalry through their neighborhood, claiming theirs is better than a competing school’s area and on and on it goes. I remember how the elementary schools where I grew up were each given a negative nickname by the students in my school. The mentality of us vs. them was always present. WAKING up to find his parents dead, the only option Coyden Richards, played by Lucas Till (X-Men franchise, Walk the Line), could come up with was to leave and try to find people who wee similar to him, who could explain why it happened. This action horror movie’s story seemed familiar to me, as if I had seen it before in a couple of other films. I thought the teenage angst angle was one the writers should have carried further throughout the story. Soon into the picture I realized the budget must have been created with very little money. The reason being the directing was poor, the script was substandard and the acting was sad. For example actors Jason Momoa (Game of Thrones-TV, Bullet to the Head) as Connor and Merritt Patterson (The Hole, Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief) as Angelina Timmins could have done a better performance than what they did here. There really was not much in this movie to keep my interest; my mind kept trying to wander (maybe run) away. If the studio would have pushed to create a different take on the genre, I would have been better able to embrace this film. Several scenes had blood and violence in them.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Horrible Bosses 2
Nothing came to mind; this was quite unusual because it had never happened before. I wondered if I was still suffering from the overdose of tryptophan I ingested during the past holiday weekend. Maybe I should not have tried the variety of desserts that caused me distress from that post sugar high. I did not think it was the mediocre movies that played this past weekend; or maybe, they actually lulled my brain into a quiet stupor that it had not reawakened from as of yet. The pessimistic voice inside of me was audible; telling me I was a fraud and this had all been a sham. Those who regularly read my movie reviews know I start out talking about the personal connection I made to the film. I have always said as long as a movie can move you then it has done its job. It was the strangest thing however when I started to write my review today; for the life of me, I could not recall one iota of a connection I felt to this comedy sequel. HAVING left their jobs best friends Nick Hendricks, Kurt Buckman and Dale Arbus; played by Jason Bateman (Bad Words, Up in the Air), Jason Sudeikis (Hall Pass, We’re the Millers) and Charlie Day (Pacific Rim, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia-TV); decided to start their own company to be their own bosses. They thought everything was working out perfectly after they showed the product they invented to wealthy investor Bert Hanson, played by Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained, Carnage). However, their meeting with Bert would lead the friends to come up with a diabolical plan. If you did not see the previous film to this sequel, it probably will not make too much of a difference for you in following the story. Jennifer Aniston (We’re the Millers, The Bounty Hunter), returned as foul-mouthed Dr. Julia Harris. I honestly could not find any positive things to say about this picture except that I was grateful it was less than 2 hours long. The gags and jokes were juvenile and monotonous; even with both Jasons’ quick sharp deliveries. The story had very little connection to the previous movie which led me to believe this film was a labor of love for the paycheck. If you saw the film trailer then you have seen the majority of what this film will be. For the most part I was bored, finding very little to even chuckle at during the scenes. To tell you the truth, the story was a cheap knockoff to a couple of previous movies that did the job better. I guess it was a good thing after all that I could not find a personal connection to this dreadful film. Strong language was used in the film.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: Dumb and Dumber To
It was a long day of intensive studies. We had not seen the outside since we had arrived at 8 in the morning. Before the dinner hour was to arrive we were given an hour to decompress from the day and clear our minds. My partner during the practical applications came up to me and asked if I wanted to take a walk with her. We had only met when we both started our yoga training a few months prior; however, there was an immediate connection. Our sense of humor was similar as our skill level with the poses we were practicing in our studies. As we headed outside the sun was in the latter part of the day, its orange hued rays large and unfocused. We headed down a trail that led us into a forest. With the air cooler inside the green canopied trees, we leisurely started up a conversation that moved us to be vulnerable with each other, laughing at each other’s adventures and supportive as we reported our past hardships. Time had left us behind; the few shadows that had slipped into our darkening green enclave could not catch our attention. When I happened to glance at my watch finally, we were 30 minutes past the dinnertime. In addition we were lost. I tried not showing my nervousness, but it was not easy as I began feeling my hunger pangs becoming aggressive in my stomach. Despite these concerns the two of us kept talking and laughing on a variety of subjects as we treated this excursion as an adventure. We did finally find our way back to our studies that day; but more importantly, we cemented a friendship that continues to this day. Lesson learned, adventures can be more fun with friends. AFTER all these years Harry Dunne, played by Jeff Daniels (Looper, The Squid and the Whale), discovered he had a daughter. When his best friend Lloyd Christmas, played by Jim Carrey (The Truman Show, Bruce Almighty), saw a picture of the girl, he convinced Harry they should try to find her. Their road trip adventure would take them to the craziest places. This comedy written and directed by brothers Bobby & Peter Farrelly (Shallow Hal, There’s Something About Mary), was dull beyond belief. Most of the jokes were either retreads or barely humorous to me. The trailers truly provided the highlights for this film. After 20 years I felt the script should have taken a fresh look at Harry and Lloyd; instead it was a rehash of their previous film. All this movie provided was crude, rude and juvenile jokes for the most part. I wished I had for this movie gotten lost before getting to the theater. If you do go to see this film there was an extra scene after the credits.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Best of Me
Where some loves recede from our minds like grains of sand in a tide returning to sea, there is one type of love that remains with us. It is our first love; that special moment where the use of singular pronouns turns to plurals. With no one else before had you ever had this unique and fresh relationship; where you were affectionate, kind and loving. The conversations between the two of you remained on a private level and were different then the way you talked with your friends. Possibly for the first time there was someone who got you, understood the reasons behind the way you did things. A first love is never forgotten for it remains nestled in the mind. Not necessarily interfering with your present choices in life, the memory of your first love hangs prominently on a wall of your heart, away from the harsh sunlight of current disappointments, always working in conjunction with your mind. It is funny even when you do find a true love, no matter how long it may take, that first one is always there to remind us like a faint exotic perfume. TWENTY years had passed before former hight school sweethearts Amanda and Dawson, played by Michelle Monaghan (Gone Baby Gone, Source Code) and James Marsden (Enchanted, X-Men franchise), found themselves face to face due to the death of their friend Tuck, played by Gerald McRaney (Major Dad-TV, The A-Team). Though the two friends had moved on with their lives, there still was an undeniable connection between the two of them as they spent time together in their old hometown. Based on Nicholas Sparks’ (The Notebook, Safe Haven) novel, this dramatic romance followed the same formula as the previous films had done. The story was so predictable even though I never read the book. What I found the most annoying was the syrupy soundtrack that announced the emotions we were supposed to feel for each scene. The acting was okay though I found all of the characters, including Luke Bracey (The November Man, G.I. Joe: Retaliation) and Liana Liberato (If I Stay, Stuck in Love) as the younger Dawson and Amanda, on the same level. I wondered if this was due to the cheesy script and I think that was part of it, but the director did no one any favors. The movie was slow and the scenes never felt complete for me. If you are a fan of his books or maybe I should rephrase that and say; if you are a fan of these movies made from Nicholas’ books, then you probably will want to see this with facial tissue in hand. I am all for a good tearjerker now and then, but this film left me dry.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: The Song
As I sat in the large banquet room, my confusion quickly melted away from the hot anger welling up inside of me. You see a couple of friends asked me to join them for an evening of dinner and entertainment. They said it was being funded by one of their business groups; free food and I would be there. After we walked in and were given name tags, I followed them into a room that was filled with rows of chairs, no tables. I thought maybe we were having entertainment first then moving to another room where we would be served dinner. It had better be a served meal because I avoid all buffets and salad bars. A speaker walked up to the podium where he introduced himself and thanked all of us for being there. He started talking about the past year’s accomplishments before venturing into the exciting products that would be coming out later in the year. From that point on I became suspicious that something was not right about the whole scene. With the surrounding audience eager to applaud at the speaker’s every word; his speech smoothly evolved into a sales pitch on how everyone in the audience could make more money by recruiting new associates. It was only a matter of seconds before I realized this whole event was a sales meeting for what people call a pyramid or ponzi scheme. For every new person you bring into the group you get a commission on their sales. To say I was livid would be an understatement as I glared towards my friends who were just realizing I was the wrong person to bring to this kind of event. DECEPTION would only lead one down a wrong path in life. Trying to come out from under his famous father’s shadow; singer/songwriter Jed King, played by Alan Powell (Charlie & Boots, Produce: Where Hope Grows), worked hard to show people he was not like his father. However, the more famous he became the more challenging it was to maintain his values. This movie was the last straw for me; I no longer can give money for this faith based films. If I wanted to be preached to I would have gone to a house of worship. This dramatic romance hammered its message at the viewers without any thought to making a decent film. Utterly predictable and ridiculous, I do not need to be told I have to have faith. Maybe it is me but I find faith and religion to be a private matter for each individual. With no original thought, no decent acting, only a couple of good songs; I felt just as deceived by this preachy propaganda pretending to be a movie as I had about that sales meeting. There was an extra scene at the end of the credits.
1 1/2 stars
Flash Movie Review: As Above, So Below
The shine of its skin invited you to choose it. Deeply hued in red with lighter shadows, there was a firmness felt when you picked it up, bringing it closer to your face. As you bit down on the apple, hearing the crisp crunch of it as you drew a piece into your mouth, your anticipation was elevated to meet your expectations for the impending sweet taste to fill your waiting mouth. As you moved the apple back within your eyesight and before your taste buds registered the taste, you saw the horrific sight of blackened, decayed flesh under the skin of the apple. To make matters worse you were not seeing the beginning edges of it but the middle part as your brain registered sour bitterness in your mouth. What I just described to you was an example of disappointment. To avoid this feeling I do as much as possible to avoid any reviews or hype about a movie I plan on seeing to review. Trust me this takes discipline, for I used to be the type of person who was lead through life by my high expectations. I learned the hard way that these expectations were a burden to carry around as they tended to pave a straight road to disappointment. The city of Paris is one of the most beautiful cities I have ever seen. Not a fan of horror movies I was hoping to see some great shots of the city in this horror film. SCARLETT, played by Perdita Weeks (Prowl, Hamlet), was in search of a special object that most explorers only considered to be a myth. Part of a small group of adventurers that included George and Benji, played by Ben Feldman (Cloverfield, Mad Men-TV) and Edwin Hodge (The Purge, Red Dawn); Scarlett needed the help of Papillon, played by Francois Civil (Moliere, Elles), to lead the group deep down into the Catacombs of Paris. It was there she hoped to find the elusive item, but she would also find much more. Let me get right to the point; this horror thriller was one of the worst films I have seen this year. I was stunned by the amateur writing in the script and poor acting. It seemed as if the writers went through their childhood memories of carnivals and Halloween horror houses to just pull out random things to fill the scene, hoping to scare the viewers. I was bored for the majority of the movie; this picture really came across like a cheap knockoff of a knockoff. And the biggest disappointment for me was not getting to see any decent outdoor scenes of Paris. I should have taken the money I used for this film and spent it on a couple of European travel magazines instead.
1 1/2 stars
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